Chocolution Exploration Kits

By: on January 01, 2015
Check It Out

One swell habit I developed over the holiday season was eating large quantities of food. Particularly those containing bacon and chocolate (usually separately, but sometimes together). So my New Year's Resolution is to take this period of December excess and extend it over all twelve of our year's months. However, in an effort to detox in January, as we work our way through the NFL playoffs to my next big festival of eating, the Super Bowl, I was thinking I'd get one of these Chocolution Exploration Kits.

Each of the three themed sets contains chocolate in its purest, cacao-based form--prior to the addition of sugar, chemicals, and other ingredients that turn what could be a nutrient-rich treat into a recipe for obesity and lonely nights of watching romantic tragedies about Marisa Tomei as a waitress and Christian Slater as a busboy with a failing baboon heart. The Chocolution Exploration Kits take this ancient delicacy back thousands of years, to its roots in Mexico and the Americas. They include:

The Chocolate Drink Time Traveler kit. From deep in the Amazon jungle to the Royal Courts of Europe, chocolate has been melted and drunk up for over 4,000 years. This kit contains information about its origins and a recipe leaflet, along with 6 x 22g chocolate tablets (cacao mass, cacao butter, coconut palm sugar, and cacao solids) plus spices for flavoring. They include: cornmeal, chilli powder, black pepper, jasmine flowers, lemon peel, anise, nutmeg, almond, cinnamon, and vanilla.

The Cacao Bean Botanist kit. Familiarize yourself with chocolate in the raw. Starring 4 of the world's finest varieties of cacao bean for roasting, taste-testing, and experimenting with in 7 different ways. Includes 100ml Sweet Freedom (100% natural sweetener), 50g Arriba Beans from Ecuador, 50g Criollo Beans from Peru, 50g Trinitario Beans from Madagascar, and 50g Trinitario Beans from Venezuela.

The Raw Chocolate Explorer kit. Create 3 types of nutritious raw chocolate while learning about the range of natural cacao products processed directly from the bean. Contains 100ml Sweet Freedom (100% natural sweetener), 50g Cacao Beans from Ecuador, 50g Cacao Mass, 50g Cacao Butter, and 50g Cacao Powder.

All Chocolution Exploration Kits are free of refined sugar, gluten, dairy, animal products, soy, lactose, preservatives, and artificial coloring.

Buy Now

3D Chocolate T-Rex Mold

$19.99 from Amazon »

The 3D Chocolate T-Rex Mold brings together 4 fun activities, at least one of which everyone in the family's gonna enjoy: baking; building; dinosaur action figure playtime; and sending large quantities of chocolate straight...

Buy Now

Edible Anus Chocolates

$12.99 from Amazon »

Several years ago, Willy Wonka sat down with the UK's most distinguished chocolatiers to lay down the next big release in artisan chocolate. He tried many of their stunning and revolutionary manipulations of the finest...

Check it out

20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

$833.19 from Firebox.com »

I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

Buy Now

Chocolate Candy Bar Maker

$30.36 from Amazon »

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husband! No one's getting their hands on the Chocolate Candy Bar Maker but me! Chocolate's loyal, and gluttonous, and selfish little whore slave. No, redact that redaction. Whore!...

Buy Now

Milk & Cookie Shot Maker

$24.95 from Amazon »

Milk & cookies. & liquid chocolate. & shots. Maybe I'll make it through this year after all. Wait, what? I have to make it all myself? With molds and melters and ingredients from the store? Come on! I thought I could...

Check it out

Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

Check it out

Kama Sutra Chocolates (NSFW)


I smell sex and...candy here. It's our favorite form of ancient raunch cacao-ified into a box of Kama Sutra chocolates. Now everyone can give 8 slabs of tasty sex positions to their favorite horndog, or the pillar of...

Buy Now

10-Pound Toblerone Bar

$105.92 from Amazon »

Toblerone has built 45, 100-gram servings into their 10-pound mountain range of chocolate, honey, and almond nougat. That's:...

Check it out

Peanut Butter Cup Cake


A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG...

Buy Now

Mini Nutella Jars

$27.95 from Amazon »

Finally I can justify eating an entire jar of Nutella. The only problem is that these mini glass bottles of the creamerrific hazelnut spread come in packs of 16. So it's going to be like me and a bag of fun-size snickers:...

Check it out

Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Egg

I tried one of Truffle Cottage's Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Eggs last night. And if by "tried" you think I mean "demolished," then you are correct, sir! I think She-Ra: Princess of Power ate a couple from the stash...

Check it out

Edible Chocolate Candles

$9.99 from Vat 19 »

Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles...