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Cado Avocado Ice Cream

Posted: June 29, 2018
Cado Avocado Ice Cream

They just couldn't stop at toast, could they?

Cado calls their avocado-based "ice cream" a "Finally!" non-dairy treat that "tastes like real ice cream!" Made with avocados instead of cream or milk, or coconut, soy, almond, or cashew milks, Cado doesn't aim to challenge the Halo Top market with fake sugars or low fat / calorie offerings. In fact, a pint of Cado will run you almost 700 calories and 48 grams of both sugar and fat*. But...

...it's heart-healthy fat, says Cado. And indeed, if you're suspicious of the trendy health benefits of coconut milk, wary of all its saturated fat, only 6 grams of Cado's 48 is saturated.

The sugar though. Is sugar.

Cado is also made will all-organic, non-GMO ingredients. Flavors include Deep Dark Chocolate, Simply Lemon, and Mint Chocolate Chip. Hmmm. Those sound good, but they better be damn strong. Strong enough to drown out the cloying, waxy, vegetal flavor of avocados. Sorry, Cado, I might be using your ice cream as a platform to vent on avocados for a minute. Listen, I love me some guacamole and fat avocado slices lined up on fish tacos. But in "healthy" sweets and desserts? No. Me. Gusto.

She-Ra: Princess of Power has tried to trick me with avocado fat substitutions in the past. Avocado pudding. Avocado muffins. Avocado birthday cake. Bleeeeecccchhhh! I might have the worst palate on the planet when it comes to tasting anything but "red" or "white" in wine, but I can taste the extensive nuances of avocados in their various stages of ripeness with Kleenex shoved up both nostrils and my tongue tied behind my back. Avocados and butter and avocados and cream are not complementary ingredients.

I challenge Cado avocado ice cream to prove me wrong.

*Yes, I'm talking the whole pint, because I talk only in whole pints when I talk about pints of ice cream, because whoTF buys a tiny little pint of ice cream doesn't eat the whole thing? Even if you tell yourself you're only going to eat down 2 inches...OK, maybe half...and even if you're able to put it back in the freezer...for an hour or two...that pint of ice cream has a destiny. It involves a spoon, your mouth, and tonight.

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