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Life-Size Gummy Skull

By: on September 05, 2013
$39.99
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This is what happens to people who eat 5-pound gummy bears: they OD on sugar and high fructose corn syrup, their brains become gelatinous, and they turn into 5-pound gummy skulls. In flavors cherry, blue raspberry, and grape.

Happy Forthcoming Halloween to all, and Happy Everyday to those who go giddy at the sight of morbid candy. Morbid from aesthetic and caloric standpoints alike: this bad boy (or girl; I'll leave that call to Temperance Brennan) packs 7,000 calories into its life-size 8" x 6" x 6" dimensions. Enough to feed a starving child for several days, or the idiot who accepts the dare for several minutes.

Wow. Look at that picture of the guy holding the gummy skull. It's really not so much bigger than his hand. But if you cut it into 7ths, each piece would still have 1,000 calories. That's disgusting.

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Sexy TRON Outfit

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Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

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Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

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It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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Glass Skull Tiki Torch

$29.99 from Amazon »

No need to wait for Halloween to line your path with Skull Tiki Torches. I think the creepy lanterns of death would make great additions to Labor Day weekend parties too. They certainly capture my feelings about the end...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Alien Mind Control Mask

$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

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Animatronic Shark Costume

By: VFXLAB »

Seabob, an animatronic shark costume visual effects designers VFXLAB recently took for a test swim in the San Bernardino Doubletree Hotel pool, is many things. Funny, a good prank, and a way for my friend Cornelius to...

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Outer Space Vodka

$5.99 - $29.99 from Outer Space Vodka »

What's scarier than this freak parade of masks on Halloween night? The head-splitting, toilet-hugging hangover we're all going to have Sunday morning. Especially with 1) Daylight Saving Time ending at 2 a.m., giving everyone...

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Halloween Gear Guide

Oh boy, it's time to start shelling out your hard-earned cash for a hard-earned night of reckless abandon, mad debauchery, mass sugar and alcohol consumption, and sitting front and center at the Parade of Hot Slutty Girl...

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Anatomical Gummi Bears

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for...

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26-Pound Gummy Python

$149.99 from Vat 19 »

Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...