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Viper Deluxe Backyard Zip Line Kit

By: on September 04, 2013
$399.95 - $469.95
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Even though Viper's Deluxe Zip Line Kit is rated for passengers of up to 350 pounds almost all of the photos I could find depict only kids using it. You know why? Because all of the adults who would like to partake in this flight o' fun are working. They have jobs enslaving their minds and bodies to The Man so that they can afford to spend hundreds of dollars on a zip line kit and, more importantly, hundreds of thousands of dollars on the kind of house with a back yard large enough to install a 100' zip line cable for these irreverent and ungrateful children.

Fine. Maybe some of the young'uns said thank you and mowed the lawn.

Viper Deluxe Zip Line Kits bring the thrill of gliding high above the tree tops in remote forests much closer to home, and much closer to the ground. They include a high carbon powder-coated steel cable trolley with built-in handlebar, a 20' Boa Bungee brake system (sliding plastic block with front impact pad to catch the trolley and slow it down with a bungee cord), a zip line harness, all assembly accessories, and the buyer's choice of a 100', 150', or 200' 1/4" galvanized aircraft cable.

Oh. I just watched the video. I guess the real reason adults are scarcely shown using the backyard zip line is that they are enormous babies.

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The Gotham Golfcart

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The Gotham Golfcart might be the worst awesome emergence of Batman into real life I've ever seen. A blacked out, mostly enclosed Dark Knight Tumbler wannabe cruising at a snail's pace along the completely open, completely...

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Inflatable Human Foosball Table

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Climball

While I don't care much for combined physical and mental challenges--or really either one on its own--I'm a total sucker for things that glow in the dark. And video games. And American Ninja Warrior. All of which, along...

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While still pretty small and light, this gear cutter and knife looks to me like a Hulked out version of Gerber's Zip Blade. A little bulkier. A little rougher around the edges. A few more teeth. And probably better equipped...

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Bossaball

Kicks, spikes, flips, and...trampolines. Nothing bad's gonna happen here! Belgian Filip Eyckmans developed the concept for Bossaball about a decade ago when he was living in Spain and, I guess, jonesing to play all his...

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Pickle Juice Sport Drink

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