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Porn: The Game!

By: on October 02, 2014
$19.99
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One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw, including a big fat fatty eating yogurt at the airport and Marie Osmond, plus detailed descriptions of his favorite Internet and DVD porn scenes. I know, right? You'd think after that glorious piece of literature I'd have renewed faith in books and start reading more of them. Anyway, Porn: The Game! reminded me of The Average American Male, so I thought I'd share my nostalgia with you in case you're interested. Another thing Porn: The Game! reminds me of is porn. So I'm also sharing it with you. In case you're interested.

Porn: The Game! pegs itself "an homage to the history and beauty of vintage smut; an era, before the internet, where seedy shops and dirty theaters were where the pervs got their kicks; VHS tapes, Glory holes, Donkey Shows and Orgies; when bushes were as beautiful as mustaches sexy." It also optionally incorporates drinking. And I thought it didn't get any better than Cards Against Humanity.

In short, Porn: The Game! requires 3 to 10 players to race to be the first to unload their selections from a deck of cards. Each person starts with 4 and the rest of the stack becomes the drawing deck. Cards feature photo-pornographic gems from the 70s and 80s, each representing a particular move, act, person, or expression, and pun-packed directions about what to do with it. Examples include: Fluffer; Cable Guy; Orgy; Cuckold; Finger Blast; Creampie; and DVDA. Players take turns playing their cards and drawing new ones, hoping with every move not to get dealt the most dreaded draw in the deck: Crabs.

In case you hadn't guessed, Porn: The Game! is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18.

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