86

Questions for Terrible People

By: on October 31, 2016
$10.19
Check It Out

Questions for Terrible People, a group to which I'm 90% sure I belong, contains 250 What If?s, Would you Rather?s, and What Would You Do?s. The book will be a psychological feast for me on the long ass flight I have to take to Atlanta tomorrow. It could also be a handy tool for filling in the awkward silences during the obligatory conversation portion of Tinder dates, as well as the entirety of Thanksgiving dinner with your extended family.

Hey Aunt Jan, which is greater: the number of times you've given money to a panhandler on the street, or the number of times you've dropped change on the ground and left it there because you didn't feel like bending over? You lazy, dumpy, judgy, smug old....

Appropriately named author and comedian Wes Hazard has put together a brand new collection of conversation starters, relationship enders, and topics of party banter for every terrible person out there to let loose their shame in answering. Or lie about. Some examples:

  • Would you rather attend a funeral while high on laughing gas or go to your own wedding doped up on horse tranquilizers? [I have the utmost respect for the dead, still on the fence about the married. I'll go tranquilizers.]
  • You either cut off your own pinky toe or your best friend loses his right eye. Which do you choose? [Sorry, Cornelius.]
  • During a morning walk you notice a freshly dead body on the side of a secluded road. Before you panic, you notice that a few folded $100 bills are clearly sticking out of the corpse's shirt pocket. Think carefully: do you take the money? [Yes. Finder's fee.]
Buy Now

Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person

$11.66 from Amazon »

...Without Actually Improving Yourself. As a self-help book, Faking It adds a delightful twist: you don't have to journal or meditate or talk about your feelings or change at all to help yourself. You just have to perfect...

Buy Now

Boob Cube

$9.50 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

Check it out

Gravity Therapeutic Weighted Blanket

$169 - $209 from Gravity »

The Gravity Blanket is like a big, wraparound, hours-long hug. John Fiorentino created his weighted cover as a therapeutic tool for those who find themselves stressed, anxious, and/or sleepless at night....

Check it out

Porn: The Game!

$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw...

Buy Now

The Magic Weighted Blanket

$107.85 - $267.85 from Amazon »

The Magic Weighted Blanket uses a therapeutic approach similar to the Gravity Blanket we saw here last month, with a couple of key differences: 1) The Magic Weighted Blanket is made of baby-bunny-soft chenille and sold...

Check it out

The Fragment Smash & Bash Rage Room

$38 - $220 from The Fragment Room »

For $220...and the cost of a trip to Singapore...you could enter The Fragment Room, and unleash 60 uninterrupted minutes of all-out rage. Smash the plates and vases. Bash in the monitor. Take a bat to the walls. Scream....

Buy Now

Wooden Cat Pile Stacking Game

Sold Out from Amazon »

This desktop-sized Wooden Cat Pile game is the only way I'd let another 6 cats in my house. The only! Do you hear that, She-Ra: Princess of Power? And agreeing even to that much is very generous of me. I can already see...

Buy Now

Drunk Stoned or Stupid

$16 from Amazon »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there...

Buy Now

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

$14.99 from Amazon »

The most surprising thing about Mark Manson's new self-help guide on how not to give a f*ck is that he presents what I would (proudly) consider an obnoxious personality trait as a "subtle art." The Subtle Art of Not Giving...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

Buy Now

QB54 - Lawn Chair Football Game

$115 from Amazon »

Get your tailgating season started as frikkin' early as NFL preseason with the QB54, an outdoor football game built around a pair of packable lawn chairs....

Buy Now

The PuttSkee - Skee Ball Golf

$499 from Amazon »

And the PuttSkee skee ball-golf hybrid even folds up into an oversized luggage / encyclopedia salesman-style rolling crate so you can hold tournaments next to the keg on Fridays at the office, turn it into a drinking...