Questions for Terrible People, a group to which I'm 90% sure I belong, contains 250 What If?s, Would you Rather?s, and What Would You Do?s. The book will be a psychological feast for me on the long ass flight I have to take to Atlanta tomorrow. It could also be a handy tool for filling in the awkward silences during the obligatory conversation portion of Tinder dates, as well as the entirety of Thanksgiving dinner with your extended family.
Hey Aunt Jan, which is greater: the number of times you've given money to a panhandler on the street, or the number of times you've dropped change on the ground and left it there because you didn't feel like bending over? You lazy, dumpy, judgy, smug old....
Appropriately named author and comedian Wes Hazard has put together a brand new collection of conversation starters, relationship enders, and topics of party banter for every terrible person out there to let loose their shame in answering. Or lie about. Some examples:
- Would you rather attend a funeral while high on laughing gas or go to your own wedding doped up on horse tranquilizers? [I have the utmost respect for the dead, still on the fence about the married. I'll go tranquilizers.]
- You either cut off your own pinky toe or your best friend loses his right eye. Which do you choose? [Sorry, Cornelius.]
- During a morning walk you notice a freshly dead body on the side of a secluded road. Before you panic, you notice that a few folded $100 bills are clearly sticking out of the corpse's shirt pocket. Think carefully: do you take the money? [Yes. Finder's fee.]