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Yoga Joes Army Men

By: on October 22, 2015
$28
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Yoga Joes call themselves "a non-violent toy." Maybe that description makes you smile, in which case you can buy some army men doing yoga as a gift for your kids or to decorate your desktop. Or maybe that description makes you sneer, in which case you too can buy some army men doing yoga. As a gag gift for your favorite member of the armed forces, veteran, or dude who needs to chill out. Much like yoga itself claims to do, the 9 figures striking peace-loving, body-calming, sun-saluting poses transcend all earthly constructs. They are perhaps the perfect present for people who really love namaste and really hate it alike.

Green Army Yogis come packed in their own yoga studio (heated to a toxin-freeing 104 degrees, I hope!) and feature the following poses: Tree Pose: Warrior One; Cobra Pose; Downward Facing Dog; Meditation; Child's Pose; Crow Pose; Warrior 2; and Headstand.

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The fit is hitting the shan. The adrenaline dam has busted, and your fight-or-flight response is sprinting at a world-record-setting pace. What does it look like? Are you stepping up? Freezing up? Freaking out? Peacing...

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Jagdkommando Knife

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If you're looking to stab someone in the back, knife them in the heart, or just royally screw them over, Microtech's MCT1057 Jagdkommando fixed blade knife is the definitive way to do it. A version of the manufacturer's...

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Silence of the Lambs Hannibal Lecter Action Figures

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I had forgotten I started working on this Hannibal Lecter Action Figure post and left my computer for a few hours to eat some sloppy joes and self-serve fro yo, and when I came back I was looking right into the muzzled...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

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If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Tec Torch Thermal Breaching Tool

I know. If you're not military, law enforcement, or a first responder you can't have a TEC Torch handheld breaching saber tool, but, dude, you can still want it. TEC Torch uses thermal magic, specifically a concoction...

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Tactical Beer Mug

$224.99 - $249.99 from Optics Planet »

According to the cats in the OPMOD Battle Mug video, you can do everything with this souped up, military-spec, solid aluminum beer stein that you can do with your AR. Deck it out with a scope, laser sight, holo sight...

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Toe Separator Socks for Alignment & Relief

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Mmm, spread those sexy toes wide! Not just for my benefit, but for your own. Whether you're into yoga, promoting blood circulation and relieving foot pain after a workout, or slowing down the growth of your bunion, the...

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TOPS M4X Punisher Knife

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I recommend watching the above video in its entirety. Not only because M4X Punisher demo damsel Kaila* is adorable, but also because she becomes even more adorable after she completes her successful attack on that coconut...

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Vitruvian Man Action Figure

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A 4-armed, 4-legged Vitruvian Man action figure is going to be 4 times the fun to pose on my desk at work. And 4 times the trippy. In fact, factor in the naked and anatomically correct to his spider count of limbs, and...