The 16 Most Dad Gifts for Dad
With Father's Day coming up in June, and with Dad being all...Dad...about things all the time, I thought a curated list of the most Dad gifts for Dad was in order. And I found 16 winners*.
While you can't buy The Dad Mask, a face mask made with a New Balance sneaker upper, and another brilliant Unnecessary Invention from Matt Benedetto, you can buy any of the rest of these handy, dorky, goofy, Dad-screaming Dad gifts for the man this Father's Day. Or for any day that merits a Dad-worthy token of your appreciation.
*Well, they may not all be real winners, but they did try their best, and therefore deserve the title of "winner", along with some sort of trophy, just the same.
The Older Person's Guide to New Stuff
The Older Person's Guide to New Stuff: From Android to Zoella, a complete guide to the modern world for the easily perplexed is the exact right gift for your dad if your dad is the type who needs a dictionary-encyclopedia hybrid to look up words and concepts such as "troll," "cryptocurrency," and "The Twitter."
It's also a great welcome to the 2020s for dads who still use expressions like, "Da bomb," "All that and a bag of chips," and "You go, girl!"
First Alert 2-Story Escape Ladder
If the dad you're gift-hunting for has a complete first aid kit, bug out bag, road emergency kit, survival seed vault, tool chest about to collapse under the weight of its tools, and an entire wall full of toilet paper in the garage, he definitely needs a 2-story escape ladder to add to the In Case of Fire kit he probably also has.
This ladder from First Alert's extends from a window 14' to towards the ground. It is strong and stable enough to support children and adults, up to 375 pounds at a time. When not in use the flexible nylon strap sides facilitate folding and stacking its steel rungs for storage in a bin near the window.
Pocket Bellows - "Blow-It" Fire Starter
Dad: Hey kids, come over here and witness history. For the first time ever, your dad's about to blow it!
Kids [not looking up from Nintendo Switch gameplay]: Cool, Dad. Let us know when the fire's ready. ... And the s'mores.
Epiphany Outdoor Gear's V3-Pocket Bellows is a modern take on an ancient fire-starting technique, a telescopic hand tool for adding oxygen to fledgling sparks without singing off your eyelashes. The Pocket Bellows collapses to just 3-1/2" long and packs into an included water-resistant carrying case.
Gryphon Guardian Parental Control System & WiFi Security Router
Gryphon's first foray into wifi routers worthy of their integration into both your home internet use and your home decor came a couple of years ago with the Gryphon Tower, an all-in-one mesh system with a sexy twist. Since then Gryphon has introduced the Guardian, a smaller, more affordable little brother to the Tower. The Guardian maintains all of the same functions as the Tower, such as advanced security protection and parental controls, plus is sized for linking up with a Tower, or other individual Guardian units, to create an expanded mesh wifi system.
The Mighty Carver - Electric Chainsaw Carving Knife
With the Mighty Carver, Pops can go from carving up the neighbors on Halloween to carving up the turkey on Thanksgiving without even taking a beat to swap tools! Really!
No, not really. That was a Dad joke.
The Mighty Carver is a chainsaw in looks alone. In function it is an electric carving knife for your turkeys and roasts that creator Kimberly Burney fashioned after a power tool for a very deliberate, and I think pretty good reason: she hoped it would entice the men in her family, who loved trimming limbs and cutting up logs in the yard, to volunteer when she asked who wants to carve the meat.
KEEN UNEEK Sandals
A perennial favorite around here when we're talkin' topics such as Dad, sandals, and the ugliest footwear you've ever seen. KEEN UNEEK sandals look like someone had a little too much time and a little too much paracord on his hands. But KEEN isn't doing UNEEK in the name of fashion. They're doing it in the names of comfort, ergonomics, breathability, bummin' on the beach, and pacing up and down the sideline during peewee soccer games.
Greenworks 145 MPH Cordless Leaf Blower
Raking leaves blows. So help Dad blow harder with Greenworks' 145MPH Pro 80V Li-Ion MAX leaf blower, a cordless cleanup tool whose brushless motor and turbo button can stir up and knock around yard debris 580 CFM at 145 MPH.
Greenworks calls their Pro 80V Li-Ion MAX system, a line that also includes an 18" chainsaw, hedge trimmer, string trimmer, and lawn mower, "the highest voltage, gas equivalent, commercial grade cordless outdoor power tool system in the industry." The leaf blower weighs a relatively light 10 pounds for schlepping, and can ramp up to full gone-with-the-wind power for up to 22 minutes of runtime on per charge of its 2.5Ah battery. The quick charger included in this Greenworks blower package will then have you back communing with fall's castoffs with a full battery 40 minutes later.
DeWalt Lighted Tool Backpack
When you gift this one to Dad, be sure to sign the card, "Don't be a tool in the dark when you can load up DeWalt's LED tool backpack and be a tool who's seen the light!" Trust me, if he's got the default paternal sense of humor, he'll appreciate it.
The DeWalt lighted pack has a built-in, adjustable LED positioned at its top front. Use its 3 levels of output, up to a 39-lumen max, to shine some sight on the tools when you're trying to dig one out, or on the work area when you need some brighter, more concentrated light.
DeWalt has also fitted the tool backpack with 48 multi-use interior pockets, plus 9 more on the outside. Interior pockets are divvied between 2 zippered compartments, one in front and one in back.
He's still on his own for keeping himself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb Dad's buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every home handyman, the LadderLimb is a 12" rubberized arm that fits into the hollowed rungs of most any ladder to provide a stable storage point for objects that can clasp onto its end-dangling carabiner.
LadderLimbs fit into the right or left rungs of full outdoor ladders, plus some step ladders, to reduce the burden of up-top tasks that require multiple additional tools. Painting, window-washing, home repairs, Clark Griswolding the Christmas lights.
ONIVA Fusion Portable Outdoor Backpack Chair
The Fusion Chair begins with a powder-coated aluminum frame, with ribbed polyester and canvas seat and back rest padding, able to keep comfy dudes and ladies weighing up to 350 pounds (though if you want to go up to 500, better to check out Guide Gear's Oversized Club Camp Chairs.) The comfort should extend both to sitting on the chair, and to muling it around folded up, thanks to padded backpack straps.
When set up at the beach or around the campfire, the Fusion chair unfolds more than its seat and legs. On the right side you have a tray table with a cup holder and 2-tiered accordion-style shelves below, and on the left a 24-+1-can cooler, with a cellphone pocket, fabric loops for holding an umbrella or sports banner, and additional storage pockets.
DrivewaySpike U-Turn Deterrents
The creator of DrivewaySpikes (Dad) made his flexible, plastic, totally-harmless-yet-tire-killer-looking strip of turnaround deterrents because he found the number of cars treating his driveway like U-turn land to be excessive, unsafe, and really F'ing annoying.
His (Dad's) points: 1) your driveway isn't public property; 2) cars using it as such pull in and out fast and recklessly so you won't notice them and run out waving a shotgun; 3) this creates a safety hazard for kids, pets, and anyone else chilling in the yard or passing by.
Lid-L-Buddy Touch-Free Trash Can & Dumpster Opener
Germ-conscious dads will want to add this Lid-L-Buddy to their lifehacks no matter what kind of pandemic is going around. The touch-free trash can and dumpster opener saves him from touching grimy, smelly, germy garbage bin lids both at home and on-the-go thanks to a multi-functional design, plus a Lid-L-Buddy buddy policy that sells the hygiene helpers in sets of two.
Tell Mr. Clean he can use the Lid-L-Buddy to hold open trash can or dumpster lids with one hand by gripping the plastic handle and notching the Lid-L-Buddy "beak" under the can lid. Or he can use the tool to prop open the lid a few inches hands-free, with enough space to toss in, say, his empty sodie can or Pug Life Poop Bag.
Lodge Cast Iron Cook-It-All Kit
Oh Lodge, you're such a cook-it-all. Brushing off others' dutch ovens and individual pieces of campfire cookware, acting like your 2 pieces of cast iron reign supreme for all needs, in all conditions. It's especially irritating because...you might be right.
The Lodge Cast Iron Cook-It-All Kit consists of a pair of reversible, multi-functional cast iron pieces and heavy-duty handles for maneuvering them when hot. The shallow piece, a 10.25" skillet, has a grill surface on one side and a flat-top griddle on the other. You can also use it as a lid when cooking with the second piece, a 6.8-quart combination wok and skillet, which also inverts to serve as a domed baking lid.
GrassSlides Real Turf Sandals
Dad, what's better than grass stains on your New Balance 608v5s? That's right, real turf on your GrassSlides sandals.
GrassSlides feature synthetic grass (i.e., real turf) footbeds and, unlike Kusa grass flip-flops, Velcro adjustable neoprene closures to keep your toes free of intrusion from anything but the artificial replicas of nature.
GrassSlides also pair well with socks (obviously).
The Toilet Timer
Just in time for Father's Day, the Toilet Timer is here to remind your old man to follow the same advice he's always given you: sh*t, or get off the pot.
In this era of folks diving down the Reddit rabbit hole and watching entire documentary series on the porcelain throne, Katamco developed the Toilet Timer "for the poo-crastinator taking their sweet time." And even during real emergencies, say, when you and your friend Cornelius both participate in the local fire station's Chili Eating Challenge and legit need the one bathroom in his apartment for 57 minutes, you gotta tag in and out, dudes. The sands of the Toilet Timer make the perfect referee, keeping you each to 5 minutes of bathroom destruction time per squat.
Mission Critical Baby Carrier
Let's be clear on one thing, newbie Dad: the first Mission Critical is not suffocating your baby as you affix the Mission Critical Baby Carrier to your chest. Looks like one of these 2 dads needs to work on that.
I guess once enough dudes started changing diapers in public and carrying their kids around like marsupials Mission Critical realized they could do dutiful dads a service by developing some child rearing gear that wasn't pink polka-dotted or embroidered with fuzzy bunnies. While mamas are certainly welcome to use their military-themed carriers too, Mission Critical made them with baby daddies who don't want to look like walking Candy Land boards just because they had kid in mind.
The company's Baby Carrier is a front loader compatible with both in-facing and out-facing babies. In addition to the removable/washable liner and hidden hood common to many hands-free child transporters, Mission Critical's issue has MOLLE straps for customization and YKK zippers. It is made of 1000D nylon and meets ASTM regulations for baby carriers, with capacity for juniors weighing between 8 and 35 pounds. The carrier itself weighs 36.5 ounces.