Household

'Tis the Season for Suicide Ornaments

$56 Equaldist »

My nickname is Mr. Brightside, but I get that it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. So cynics unite! And relish skateboard artist Todd Francis' "'Tis the Season for Suicide" ornament series. Yep, for every merry...

TARDIS Flask

Discontinued

So...are you sick of the TARDIS yet? I'll grant that it's starting to run its interdimensional course with me, and a few Time Lords have sent word that its 15 minutes are ticking. But the difference between this kitschy...

Dripping Napkin Holder

$34.99 Animi Causa »

I think it's supposed to be simulating dripping paint, but on this Eve of the Apocalypse, I wouldn't be surprised if Animi Causa's powder coated metal napkin holder actually started dripping blood. That's definitely what...

Key Knife

Discontinued

Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut...

Coffee & a Smoke Cup

$40.98 - $45.63 Shapeways »

The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right...

LIFX - Smartphone-Controlled Light Bulb

Sold Out Amazon »

LIFX (pronounced Life-ex) is an energy-efficient, multi-color LED bulb controlled by its user's smartphone. Its basic activation and function proceeds as follows:...

Fondue Mugs

Discontinued

Forget dipping bread and fruit, I'm just going to melt and drink entire cups of Velveeta and Bacon Chocolate Bars with my Fondue Mug set. Geez, this is handy. Melting that stuff in the microwave makes it all lumpy and...

Digital Measuring Cup Scale

Discontinued

Foodies, space conservationists, and those who don't have rad to the max mamas to cook all of your meals for you and deliver them weekly in Tupperware containers with clear content labels and smiley faces and notes about...

The Balls Lounger

$13,950 Animi Causa »

Though I am not a tennis fan, given that the opening line of Animi Causa's product copy for their balls lounger is, "The Feel Deluxe is made of 120 soft and extremely pleasant balls," I am very happy that it's the tennis...

Imperial Forces Wallpaper

$75 - $350 Super7 »

The Imperial Forces will kick the S out of your drab off-white drywall. Textured portraits of Darth Vader, Boba Fett, and members of the Empire decorate the first release of the Star Wars x Super7 Collection wallpaper...

Coolamari Octopus Ice Cube Tray

$12.99 Amazon »

Rum & Coke on the rocks? Yawn. You gotta HP-Lovecraft-mythical-sea-creature-things up every once in a while. Make it The Kraken Black Spiced Caribbean Rum & Coke on...more Kraken! Fred & Friends' Coolamari octopus ice...

WTF? Icon Prints

$15 - $40 Etsy »

Santa, you better man up because your sleigh is about to be filled to the gates of heaven with prints of "Batman Puking His Friggin Guts Out" and "Bazooka Whale." I don't know what's more enamoring here: Jann Van Zant's...

Combat Cigar Humidor

$70 - $100 Combat Humidor »

Combat Cigar Humidors take Made in America to the next level. The waterproof stogie canisters are also custom crafted to order by disabled Marine Corps veterans out of Spanish cedar encased in an M13 7.62 x 51 linked...

Voodoo Gingerbread Men Cutters

Sold Out Amazon »

The holidays. They encourage us to appreciate and reminisce about those we love. Yet somehow, they also provoke us to fixate on those we hate. Fred & Friends examined this 'tis the season, yin-yang dynamic...and saw dollar...

Prank Pack Fake Gift Boxes

$7.99 Amazon »

Liven up the holidays--at least for yourself--with Prank Packs, fake gift boxes with intricately detailed photos and explanations of products just bizarre enough to be ridiculous, but just believable enough in enterprising...

Floppy Disk Table

$960 Floppy Table »

Cool: A hot-rolled and stainless steel table fashioned to look like a floppy disk. Cooler: The metal guard plate on it slides back to reveal a secret storage space. Holy crap. I am nearing giddiness watching the GIF on...

Gun Lamps

$175 - $525 Etsy »

Tired of taking shots in the dark? Then how about a little bang! bang! that lights up the night? Ryan Weigner hand-finesses ceramics slipcast-style to create illuminating firearms in 9mm sconce and table, as well as AK-47...

Bowser Beer for Dogs

Sold Out Bowser Beer »

Dogs. Always wanting to do everything their humans do. Drink beer. Hog the bed. Hump ladies' legs. And while they've mastered the latter two, minus the times a drunk guest sneaks them a few swigs during holiday parties...

Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar

Discontinued

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Wine Barrel Bottle Tower

$75 Etsy »

From barrel to bottle...and back to barrel again. Jonathan January's Reclaimed Barrel Wine Towers even make bottles of Two Buck Chuck look hip and spiffy and like a product that came from actual grapes! The hovering oeno-presentation...

Medieval Weapons Push Pins

$9.84 Amazon »

Now that you have a sword handle umbrella and a sword handle frying pan, it's time to continue the trek toward total sword-handled-houseware domination with these sword handle (plus an axe!) push pins. The Medieval Weapons...

HitchSafe Key Vault

$83.95 Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind...

Fiber Optics Bedspread

$485 LumiGram »

How do you say Shazaaam! in the interior decorating world? I bet my mama wouldn't get so mad at my dad for wanting to put the electric blanket on the bed starting around September 15th every year if their electric blanket...

Bubble Wrap Calendar 2013

Sold Out Amazon »

One Bubble Wrap Calendar reviewer on Amazon recommends abstaining from an entire month of daily extra-large bubble popping satisfaction, and then at day 30 or 31 (fine, or 28) running your thumb down the whole row of...