Household

I have exactly two recurring dreams. One is about 12th grade calculus and my having to take a final exam even though I did not realize I was signed up for the class, and the other is about not being able to remember my...

I don't think there is a fast food item on the planet more polarizing than the White Castle slider. You either love them and eat 2 dozen on a dare the night before your wedding and then spend the entire reception puking...

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of...

Nice. A condom to carry my message to all the unborn children in the world. Attention would-be zygotes! I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER!...

Appropriately, this giant, 7' bean bag sofa is called the Fuf. In honor of all the people who are going to Fuf on it. In comfort, no less. The Fuf replaces the traditional foam balls of 1970s bean bag creations with patented...

Han Solo. You mack. The only lady I could get away with saying, "I know" in response to "I love you" to is my mama. I actually have proof of this in the form of the one other time I tried it on the one other lady who...

To quote Freddie Mercury, "Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?" Let's see...well, according to the $950 subtotal in my Jellio shopping cart, it is real life. Oh boy! Real life now has furniture that looks like ice...

Skypanels are intended to make places such as waiting rooms and hospitals and dentists' chairs and baby nurseries less awful than they inherently are by covering harsh fluorescent lights and diffusing their searing output...

See, ladies, why waste time exacting revenge upon your ex-boyfriend when you could be spending it pursuing one of these hot transportation professionals as your new boyfriend? The 2014 NYC Taxi Drivers Beefcake Calendar...

And maybe when I'm not making ravioli I can use this rolling pin on the knots in my back and my tightly wound IT band. The beechwood ravioli rolling pin delivers a strong sense of self-satisfaction to its rollers as it...

Who doesn't love avocados? Besides people who hate avocados? No one! And one tool all avocado lovers should have is three tools! In one! OXO's 3-in-1 avocado slicer slits, pits, slashes, and scoops fleshy green about-to-be-guacamole...

Life hacking innovator Unikia adds the Stirio to its online showroom of tools that will expedite and elevate the filling of my belly. We previously saw the Compleat FoodSkin flexible lunchbox, a simple trick for keeping...

I imagine this Rabbit electrical cocktail shaker contains the same motor as the Rabbit electric ladies' vibrator, which must mean it is strong, powerful, and effective, yet gentle and sensitive to the needs of its user...

Swoosh! The only problem with hanging a 2 AM Project Air 1 stocking for Christmas is that it's gonna dunk on Santa's ass every. time. Over his head, under his beard, around his fat jelly belly...nothin' but net. This...

Another supervillain yahtzee! This black skull armchair was the one prop missing from my master plan to raise an army of babies and eliminate all cats and bike lanes from my township! The only downside is that it does...

A carbon fiber handle holsters 120 layers of Swedish rose stainless damascus steel in this folding pocket knife fit for a pretty, pretty princess, or a male with extraordinarily refined and luxurious tastes. Like myself...

Holy Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite! Poison Ivy has just given radical new meaning to the term "thunder thighs." I don't know whether to stop drooling and try to voodoo her out of the print, into my living room, or surround...

A bird in the hand is worth...nowhere near as much to me as a shot of Fireball in the hand. Birds are dirty and carry avian flu and salmonella. Even some of the cooked ones. Ahem, chicken. But hands. Hands are the poster...

Nothing screams wealth and class like marble flooring, marble countertops, marble statues, and marble-covered rolls in the hay. Here, Safe House USA gives buyers the option of going full mar-balls to the wall with their...

That's a pretty sweet neck on that Zippo. If I had what they're calling the "Flex Neck" I bet I could bend over and...um...look at the back of my knees. The utility lighter's slim nozzle was designed to slip through grill...

Ha! More proof that if pens wish to avoid extinction they better start bringing more to the table than a barrel full of ink! In fact, Grasshopper makes the biggest leap of all--the one I've been waiting for: it eliminates...

When I was 6 years old my babysitter forced me to sit on a skateboard with her and roll down the ominously steep street on which we lived. About halfway to the bottom my suspicions that her idea was a terrible one and...

I'll be gnome for Christmas. You can count on me. Please have snow and di-i-sco, and heavy techno beats. Ahh, even better than a zombie or Scarface gnome to station in my garden is a mirror ball gnome to hang from my...