80

Tricera Hi-Tops

By: on August 17, 2014
Discontinued

Archaix Laboratories makes a big claim. According to the Brooklyn-based company, they have "finally found a solution to the problem that has plagued modern society: the lack of wearable dinosaurs." And appropriately, their answer stampedes forth in footwear form. Kids, cosplayers, humans with a sense of humor, pull out your wallets and meet Tricera Hi-Tops.

These shoes have pretty much made my day. I find them to encompass hilarity and radness on all major counts. Concept. Name. Execution. Incorporation of horns. Pending successful Kickstarter crowdfunding, Archaix Laboratories plans to produce Tricera Hi-Tops in both children's and adult sizes, and with the following features:

  • Comfort. "We do not recommend them for a triathlon, but they are breathable, functional shoes that feel like an athletic sneaker." An elastic band and 3 Velcro straps will keep the slip-on Tricera Hi-Tops in place.
  • Durability. Street-tested in games of kick the can, Muay Thai fights, and escapes from rampaging Kaiju garden gnomes, Archaix Laboratories says even the dinosaurs' horns, made of synthetic leather and filled with memory foam, will snap back into place when bent, crushed, or otherwise perturbed.
  • Logical Construction. All business on the inside, all dinosaur on the out. Tricera Hi-Tops' elastic upper and straps are hidden behind the Cretaceous roamer's bony frill exterior, and the shoes' mesh vents stay out of sight along the sides and at the nostrils. Outsoles are made of durable molded foxing.

Tricera Hi-Tops run as a Kickstarter project through September 11, 2014. If the world proves to be fair and just, they will not only achieve their $25,000 funding goal, but also represent only the first in a long ling of prehistoric-themed footwear from Archaix Laboratories. Next up I would like to see T-Rex T-Rainers and VelociraptAIR Jordans.

Buy Now

3D Chocolate T-Rex Mold

$19.99 from Amazon »

The 3D Chocolate T-Rex Mold brings together 4 fun activities, at least one of which everyone in the family's gonna enjoy: baking; building; dinosaur action figure playtime; and sending large quantities of chocolate straight...

Buy Now

Teva Ember Moc Slippers

$43.75 - $69.95 from Amazon »

Teva's Ember Moc slippers might have Dad Joke written all over them, but I don't care. I want some. Teva says they're like sleeping bags for your feet. Who can resist sleeping bags for your feet?! Not me....

Check it out

NakeFit Stick-On Shoes

$33 from Nakefit »

NakeFit stick-on shoes - or, to be more precise, NakeFit hypoallergenic adhesive pads - remind me of when I'm walking barefoot and start to feel like something's stuck to my heel, but I'm loath to look down because I...

Check it out

Meteorite & Dinosaur Bone Rings

$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves...

Buy Now

T-Rex Hatching Dinosaur Egg Candle

$44 from Amazon »

Good things, such as baby T-Rex dinosaur desktop toys, come to those who wait. Who wait, and who burn. Light the wick on this egg-shaped candle from The Creative Desk and experience the joy of hatching a new baby 65-million-year-old...

Check it out

Inflatable Dinosaur Costume

Discontinued

Giddyup, T-Rex! While I'm not so sure about the proportions of this inflatable dinosaur costume, what it lacks in mathematical accuracy it definitely makes up for in costume originality. Now riding into your Halloween...

Check it out

NavoPed Self-Walking Shoes

Want to pimp out your feet Google-style*? To avoid unpleasant collisions with other pedestrians, telephone poles, and public fountains that just came up out of frikkin' nowhere? To slap on your sneakers and never look...

Check it out

Life-Size Baby T-Rex Costume

Discontinued

Sometimes babies are born with disproportionately large body parts, which they subsequently grow into. Like dog paws and human eyes. No such luck for the baby T-Rex. Looks as if those little guys are stuck with midget...

Buy Now

Waterproof Socks

Sold Out from Amazon »

Showers Pass made these waterproof socks to keep athletes' and other F the rain weather warriors' feet dry when they run, hike, and bike in anything from light drizzles to torrential downpours....

Buy Now

Vivobarefoot Ultra 3 Algae Biomass Shoes

$80 from Amazon »

In May 2017 Vivovbarefoot announced its Ultra 3 land and sea shoes would incorporate both land and sea into their construction to make the amphibious footwear as eco-friendly as they are foot-friendly. Teaming up with...

Check it out

DrySteppers - Raincoats for Your Sneakers

$19.99 from DrySteppers »

DrySteppers slip over your sneakers like a cozy shoe raincoat when the only thing worse than when you ask your mama for Adidas and she buys you Zips happens: you buy your own damn Adidas Zebra V2s, and then an angry summer...

Buy Now

Dino Pet Bioluminescent Night Light

$59.95 from Amazon »

Oh boy, it's like a dinosaur mixed with a firefly mixed with that neat-o photosynthesis word I learned in middle school. Dino Pet, a compilation of living, bioluminescent organisms called dinoflagellates housed in an...