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Tricera Hi-Tops

By: on August 17, 2014
Discontinued

Archaix Laboratories makes a big claim. According to the Brooklyn-based company, they have "finally found a solution to the problem that has plagued modern society: the lack of wearable dinosaurs." And appropriately, their answer stampedes forth in footwear form. Kids, cosplayers, humans with a sense of humor, pull out your wallets and meet Tricera Hi-Tops.

These shoes have pretty much made my day. I find them to encompass hilarity and radness on all major counts. Concept. Name. Execution. Incorporation of horns. Pending successful Kickstarter crowdfunding, Archaix Laboratories plans to produce Tricera Hi-Tops in both children's and adult sizes, and with the following features:

  • Comfort. "We do not recommend them for a triathlon, but they are breathable, functional shoes that feel like an athletic sneaker." An elastic band and 3 Velcro straps will keep the slip-on Tricera Hi-Tops in place.
  • Durability. Street-tested in games of kick the can, Muay Thai fights, and escapes from rampaging Kaiju garden gnomes, Archaix Laboratories says even the dinosaurs' horns, made of synthetic leather and filled with memory foam, will snap back into place when bent, crushed, or otherwise perturbed.
  • Logical Construction. All business on the inside, all dinosaur on the out. Tricera Hi-Tops' elastic upper and straps are hidden behind the Cretaceous roamer's bony frill exterior, and the shoes' mesh vents stay out of sight along the sides and at the nostrils. Outsoles are made of durable molded foxing.

Tricera Hi-Tops run as a Kickstarter project through September 11, 2014. If the world proves to be fair and just, they will not only achieve their $25,000 funding goal, but also represent only the first in a long ling of prehistoric-themed footwear from Archaix Laboratories. Next up I would like to see T-Rex T-Rainers and VelociraptAIR Jordans.

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