Shoes

OOFOS OOmg Fibre Low Men's Shoe

$149.92 - $165.36 Amazon »

What does your OO face look like? If OOFOS has done right with their OOmg Fibre Low Men's Shoe, it should feature droopy eyes, a slack, happy jaw, and possibly some drool. Like any other pair of OOFOS shoes or sandals...

Rechargeable Heated Slippers

$63.49 Amazon »

Rechargeable Heated Slippers may be a boring, uninspired idea for a last-minute holiday gift, but they're not a bad idea. Think of all the people with cold feet out there. And all the people who have moderately warm feet...

Cloven Sneakers

$81.33 - $111.28 Amazon »

So I guess the correct term is "Japanese Tabi Sneakers," but calling them "Cloven Sneakers" ensures the footwear's name is as attention-getting as their look. Not to mention, if you're gonna be hoofin' it to work, the...

Batwing Shoe Accessories

$36.28 Etsy »

Here's a slightly batty idea for Halloween. Batwings for your shoes! The leather flappers fit over the eyelets of your shoes or boots, and secure with your laces to create a festive vibe during spooky season, or a Goth...

7-Eleven Crocs

$50 - $100 Crocs »

The latest sign of the apocalypse? Yes, 7-Eleven Crocs, but not just 7-Eleven Crocs. 7-Eleven Crocs plus the fact that this is the second pair of cloggin' crocs I've written about in the span of a week! In - as the mastermind...

Crocs Crush Boot

$75 Crocs »

Crocs. Gotta love 'em for persisting in existing, and always pushing to stay relevant in the marketplace. Except I still hate 'em. All of 'em, including the new Crocs Crush Boot, which is essentially a more affordable...

Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot

$180 Clarks »

Here we go again. Back to school. Into fall. And preparing for weather that will require us to wrap up in quilts, and slip our feet into boots, and, if you're Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot, wrap up our feet in quilted...

Recycled Sex Toy Shoes

My foot in your ass doesn't sound so bad when I'm wearing Rose in Good Faith's recycled sex toy shoes, 'eh? Called Plastic Soul, the slip-ons look like a cross between Crocs and New Balance 624 Dad sneaks, neither of...

Solethreads Recliner Flip-Flops

$19.99 Amazon »

The bad news: Solethreads Recliner Flip-Flops are not made from actual recliners. The good news: they're made from actual yoga mats instead. This is probably even better because, while recliners are indeed muy comfortable...

Wear Your Sole Shoe Tattoos

$14 Amazon »

Trick out your kicks, make your sneaks snazzy, and jazz up your Jazzercise shoes (Mama) with this set of Shoe Tattoos from Wear Your Sole. The decals are semi-permanent, but removable, and made for enhancing leather footwear...

Massage Bubble Slides

$18.95 Amazon »

I like the sound of Massage Bubble Slides. But, come on, these are clearly Epcot Center Clogs. And the brown versions of the EVA foam footwear are Ballpark Peanut Sandals. And the pink ones? Lychee Slippers...

Lobster Sandals

$19.99 Amazon »

Oooh, lobster sandals to match my sunburn, and everyone's favorite thing to say when I get a sunburn: "Dude's red as a lobster."...

Flat Socks

$11.48 Amazon »

Uh, they look pretty much like insoles to me, but OK, Flat Socks. They're flat socks if you say so. Some other things Flat Socks says about their "socks" worn by your shoe rather than your foot is that they're "No slip...

OOFOS OOriginal Sport Sandal

$42.99 Amazon »

Near as I can tell, OOFOS OOriginal Sport Sandals are orthopedic flip-flops for people who don't want to look like they're wearing orthopedic flip-flops. So, yeah. Definitely out as a gift for Dad this Father's Day, since...

Eames x Reebok Classic Leather Shoes

$120 Reebok »

Anyone gonna talk about the elephants in the room? More specifically, the elephants on your feet? The Eames Elephant is just one style of Reebok's forthcoming Classic Leather Shoe collaboration with the iconic design...

Shark Pool, Beach & Shower Sandals

$8 - $18.99 Amazon »

Shark Week may delight you only one week a year, but these versatile Shark Pool, Beach & Shower Sandals will bring joy throughout all 52 of them. Wear the unisex sandals to the beach or pool during the summer months...

Nike ISPA Link Modular Sneakers

Coming June 2022 to a Swoosh store near you: Nike ISPA Links. Fly modular sneakers with 3 interlocking pieces that connect without glue. And when I say "fly," I don't mean fly-ass. I mean fly-eye. As in, what the soles...

GUDO Footprint Flip-Flops

$39 - $49 GUDO »

When I say GUDO's flip-flops have footprints embossed in their soles, what I really mean is the summer sandals will leave behind marks in the sand that look like a human mated with, like, a palm tree. Or maybe a nice...

The Mullet Shoe

$64 Volley »

Sneaker in the front, party in the back! The Mullet Shoe is a high-top with a striking, and silky smooth, set of light brown locks cascading down the back of its upper. It's a mullet...for a shoe...ready to swish all...

The Cryptide 3D Printed Sneaker

Five-finger shoes meet...um...a stone man's toenails and some truck tire treads?...in The Cryptide, a 3D printed sneaker created by German designer and architect Stephan Henrich, in collaboration with Swiss 3D printer...

Artemis Design Co. Kilim Turkish Rug Loafers

$268 - $288 Artemis Design Co. »

No doubt Artemis Design Co.'s Kilim Turkish Rug Loafers are breathtaking. ... I'm just trying to figure out if I mean that in a good way or a bad way...

Teva Men's ReEmber Mid Moccasin

$95.64 Amazon »

RemEmber Teva's Ember Moc slipper-style indoor / outdoor shoes? Well, Teva decided to ReEmber the Moc this season, and has even added some variety, and a few inches to the line in the ReEmber Mid Moccasin. These men's...

Boot Bananas Shoe Deodorizers

$20 Amazon »

The stench of well-worn, oft-sweated-in shoes is frikkin' bananas, yet the smell itself is nothing like actual bananas. And for that matter, Boot Bananas don't smell like bananas either, they're just banana-looking deodorizers...

SUBU Indoor/Outdoor Slippers

$60 Amazon »

Yeah. SUBU Indoor / Outdoor Slippers are indoor / outdoor slippers until the first time you wear them outdoors on the snowy, wet, muddy, dead-leaf-and-grass-strewn surfaces of winter. Then they become, exclusively, SUBU...