Shoes

Adidas 4DFWD Sneakers

$200 Adidas »

3D printed with a 4D midsole. That's the honeycombed core of these new Adidas 4DFWD Sneakers' story. Made for running, Adidas says the 4DFWD design "redirects energy forward, making your gait feel more like a glide."...

Crocs x BEAMS Bespoke Classic All Terrain Clog

$80 BEAMS »

Welcome to the shoepocalypse. Crocs has teamed up with Japanese fashion brand BEAMS - again, apparently - to bring you, me, and the whole ugly-plastic-shoe-loving world the Crocs x BEAMS Bespoke Classic All Terrain Clog...

Vans Trek Rinseable Slip-On Shoes

$55 Vans »

Introducing Vans Trek Rinseable Slip-On Shoes. You can call them Rubber Vans. The not-sandals maintain the classic Vans silhouette - right down to their single-piece injected construction molded to replicate the Classic...

Descente x SUICOKE KISEE-DSV Performance Sandals

$350 Descente »

Before I slip my foot right into Barf! These KISEE-DSV Sandals are uglier than my Aunt Jan's gnarled-toe, callous-covered Sasquatch feet, I should qualify them: KISEE-DSVs are a performance sandal collaboration between...

Nike GO FlyEase Hands-Free Slip-On Shoe

Meet Nike No-Hands! Nike's GO FlyEase slip-ons reflect the company's first attempt to design shoes that keep your hands entirely out of the foot equation. Sliding the laceless kicks on - and off - is a 100% hands-free...

Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer

$49.95 - $138.06 Amazon »

Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why...

Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers

$39.99 Amazon »

According to the Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers, live people ignore the strange and unusual. But [creepy distant expression and eyeroll] I, myself am strange and unusual. Therefore, I shall draw...

Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers

$80 LN-CC »

These sneaks are Vans...with a twist. Sorry, it's been a long week. Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers dangled some low-hanging literary fruit in front of me, and I just grabbed it. Ate it right up. Toss the leftover...

Reebok Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes

$150 Reebok »

My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, is not a fan of Reebok's Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes. They contain a word in their titular description that P's her right O: "Men's." On the store page for the Ghostbusters collab...

Adidas Adilette Clogs

$45 Adidas »

Adidas' Adilette Clogs are the quarantine baby you never knew you...never wanted...

PUMA Calibrate Runner Sneakers with XETIC Technology

$140 PUMA »

PUMA says their new street-ready Calibrate Runner Sneakers are "a scientific advancement by human and machine." So, sorry namesake cougars, you're getting replaced by robots too...

Slow Man Slip-On Sock Shoes

$26.99 - $33.99 Amazon »

If, when a pair of socks slipped inside a pair of sneakers, they made a baby, that baby could definitely pop out looking like Slow Man's Slip-On Sock Shoes. And while I'm not so sure about the laceless Sock Shoes' zdesire...

Walk Of Mind Custom-Molded Shoes

Designer Hadar Slassi's Walk Of Mind shoes scored a 2019-2020 A' Design Gold Award in the Footwear category for their custom-molded hybrid design concept. Slassi uses 5 layers to build the shoes, calling each a "stratum"...

Care Bears Grin & Share It High Heels

$249.99 Fun.com »

You'll certainly get a Care Bears Stare or two wearing these Care Bears Grin & Share It High Heels from flamboyant footwear brand Irregular Choice...

KuaiLu Yoga Foam Flip Flops

$21.99 Amazon »

Is there anything not to like about KuaiLu Flip Flops? Made with yoga foam soles, like my FOAT Sanuk flip flops, they've got to be an equal treat for yo' feet. And I must admit, KuaiLu's take on the yoga-sandal combo...

Reef Men's Mulligan II Flip Flops

$39.60 - $45 Amazon »

One question: what the fairway is up with that bulging golf ball embedded in the Mulligan II Flip Flops' footbed? Reef's only reference to it is to say their golf fan's footwear has a "molded golf ball logo." Yeah, more...

GrassSlides Real Turf Sandals

$24.95 Amazon »

Dad, what's better than grass stains on your New Balance 608v5s? That's right, real turf on your GrassSlides sandals...

Crapper Concealer - Toilet Stall Shoe Covers

The Crapper Concealer is a set of shoe covers you slip over your feet to maintain anonymity when you use a public toilet stall. And by "use" I mean poop. Shit. Drop a fat deuce. Brown-out destroy. Do things to that poor...

HOKA TenNine Sneakers

$250 HOKA One One »

Baby. Got. Back. If you'd like some sneakers to help you get rid of a big, saggy ass, I present for your consideration HOKA TenNines. Sneakers that themselves have a big, saggy ass...

KFC Crocs

I hate Crocs. And I'm not as much of a KFC fanboy as I am a dedicated patron of Popeyes and my mama's kitchen when she gets out the deep fryer. But I have to give KFC Crocs credit for one gem of a KFC Crocs pitch: "Put...

New Balance Caravan Moc

Sold Out Amazon »

The Dad shoe of the season has arrived. New Balance describes their Caravan Moc as "an easy-going, comfortable respite for tired feet," and I think Dad's gonna be all over that description with a fervor only slightly...

ReflecToes High Reflective Socks

$15.86 Amazon »

What's my superpower? Casting thousands of directionally-orientated spherical mirrors from my ankles! ... With some help from my socks. ReflecToes are high reflective socks designed with runners and cyclists in mind...

Honey Soles - Natural Cork Shoe Insoles

$39.95 Amazon »

Not that I want to think about wearing flip-flops this time of year, but according to Honey Soles, putting their Natural Cork shoe insoles inside my regular shoes will make it feel like I am even in my leather loafers...

Hypelev Levitating Sneaker Display Stand

$249 Hypelev »

The Hypelev sneaker stand enables anyone - even you - to defy gravity with a pair of Air Jordans just like Michael. The only catch: you can't be wearing them...