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Know Your Knots Bandana

$14 from Amazon »

I'm a taut-line hitch. Know Your Knot! I'm a lark's head. Know Your Knot! I'm a figure 8, I'm an alpine butterfly. Know Your Knot, Know Your Knot!...

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The Dude Abides Ugly Christmas Sweater

$39.95 from Amazon »

While I appreciate the idea of this Dude Abides Ugly Christmas Sweater, I think it missed its chance of truly abiding by not making the background a Persian rug motif. Bowling balls and pins are nice and Lebowski affiliated...

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Method Raincoat Sweatshirt

$99 - $109 from MINIM Gear »

What's the Method? Add 1 part sweatshirt, 1 part raincoat, and 3 parts 21st century textile hocus pocus to a pot, and simmer until soft, cozy, and hydrophobic. MINIM Gear is crowdfunding their Method pullovers and zip-ups...

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The Christmas Car Tree

$59 from Amazon »

If your wife won't let you Clark Griswald it up with a 20' Christmas tree in the house, take your desire to overdo it exuberant holiday spirit on the road with a Christmas Car Tree. The rooftop tannenbaum gives your car...

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Saddleback Leather Coffin

When you go, go out in style. Saddleback Leather founder Dave Munson made this Leather Coffin for himself. For his future, departed self. And when he finished it, he liked his full-grain final resting place so much that...

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Boker Plus Hawkit Neck Knife Axe

$24.90 from Amazon »

Boker made a wee mini axe to dangle from your neck. The Hawkit Neck Knife Axe won't do much good if you need to fell a tree, or even chop up some kindling, but as a funkily-shaped multi-tool and piece of EDC, it will...

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FrictionLabs Secret Stuff Chalk Cream

$19 from Amazon »

That slippery grip? Chalk it up to sweaty hands. To rain and humidity. To oily sunscreen. Then chalk it up from finger to wrist to fix it. FrictionLabs says their Secret Stuff Chalk Cream is the best liquid chalk on the...

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Men's Testosterone Test Kit

Discontinued

The men's testosterone test kit from Verisana invites you to put your saliva where your gravelly voice, your heavy lifting sessions, your extreme self confidence, your Raawwwrr! is. This at-home spit sampler requires...

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Rock, Paper, Scissors Star Trek Patch

$10.99 from Amazon »

While this Star Trek patch of Scotty, Spock, and Kirk throwing down in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors is very cute 'n' clever, does anyone think Spock would ever not win a round? I mean, sure, the Vulcan Salute makes...

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Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

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Stone Island Ice Knit Thermo-Sensitive Sweaters

$1,518 - $2,136 from Stone Island »

When I first saw Stone Island's Ice Knit thermo-sensitive sweaters I was like, Hey, those Hypercolor sweaters are cool. And then I saw their price and I was like, Oh, that must be in Mexican pesos. But no! Prices are...

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Human Burrito Blanket

$39.95 from Amazon »

A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...

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Super Mario Tanooki Suit Hoodie

$58.63 from Amazon »

Mario's Tanooki Suit. Ten-year-old me could not wait to score the onesie that would give me the power to fly and turn to stone and look like I'm humping the air - or maybe little Toad was under there - on the Super Mario...

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Largemouth Bass Slippers

$15.99 - $22.69 from Amazon »

Good news, pescatarians! They've finally started making slippers out of fish - check out these largemouth bass slippers! - so you'll have something to wear while everyone else dons their bunnies, piggies, chickies, and...

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She-Ra Helmet Ring

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Where was the She-Ra Helmet Ring when I was proposing to She-Ra: Princess of Power?! It's way better than the ring I got her. Like, $30 cheaper too! I knew I should have waited 6 months...

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Amabilis Dave Jr. Waterproof Duffel Bag

$139 from Amazon »

Weekend adventurers, consider welcoming Dave Jr. to your family. The little tyke version of Amabilis' Dave Duffel is a bag built to stay strong and dry when you want to travel hard and light...

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Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet

$21.99 from Amazon »

I always wear my heart on my sleeve, my egg on my face, and my internet passwords on my wrist. And surprisingly, the Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet may be the best of those 3 decisions...

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Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring

$40 - $50 from Etsy »

Bill Gates recently said he thinks Control-Alt-Delete was a mistake, but I'll bet if he saw the Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring he'd reconsider. Sure, programming Windows' universal Abort! command as 3 keys instead...

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Chewbacca Journal

$19.41 from Amazon »

The Chewbacca Journal presents, Wookiee Deep Thoughts: Waag ahyeg ha. Wua ga ma uma ahuma ooma. RRRrrruurgh! Arrggg! Translation: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you are swimming and when you are angry...

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Internal Fire Glass Vortex Spheres

$100 - $6k from Internal Fire Glass »

Loooook into my orb. No really, check out a GIF of one of these Internal Fire Glass vortex spheres. The optical illusion is super trippy. And super... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Glass artist Scott Pernicka handcrafts...

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Lalabu Dad Shirt

$75 from Amazon »

The Lalabu Dad Shirt is a different kind of Dadbag. One that some men will consider just as big of a joke, but that others, such dudes with infants who find themselves piling on as much gear as they once did for a weeklong...

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Gryp - The Germophobe's Keychain

$2.99 from Gryp »

Germophobes and Purell addicts, get a Gryp. Bacteria and micro-organisms are breeding, spreading, festering everywhere. You can't escape them! But with a solid Gryp on this reality, you can relax, go out into the world...

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man...

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Whiskey River Sarcastic Soaps

$8.95 from Whiskey River »

Whiskey River Soaps are like modern-day Shakespearean comedies. Insightful in reading people. Precise in their social commentary. Charming and funny. And, to complement our 21st century needs, not tl;dr, and serving more...