Style

Sterling Silver Full Finger Ring

$175 - $185 from Etsy »

The Silver Digit. Excellent. I am one sterling full finger ring away from a new alter ego. I'll look like a cross between the Phantom of the Opera and Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. But use my powers only for good, of...

Mission Workshop Arkiv Modular Packs

$235 - $365 from Mission Workshop »

Arkiv modular backpacks give every pair of shoulders the option to beef up or strip down their load as needed. Choose from 3 different styles of 20L or 40L base packs, and then add smaller modules their exterior rails...

Colt 45 Walking Cane

$35.98 from Amazon »

The old dude with the walking cane might look like an easy target, but if that cane were capped off with a Colt 45 handgun, I sure wouldn't mess with him. Actually, even if the handle were just plain wood like the rest...

Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Mouthwash

$6.99 from Amazon »

Nothing about Hello's Activated Charcoal Extra Freshening Mouthwash looks like it would freshen your teeth and mouth. In fact, it looks like something an evil villain dad would threaten to wash his kids' mouths out with...

Compact Suit Folder

$27.50 from Amazon »

Pocket knife: check. Keychain light: check. 3-piece suit: check. EDC complete. The Compact Suit Folder condenses a full suit - jacket, pants, and tie - into a flat-packed tote about the size of a portfolio. Use it in...

Suction Cup Travel Bottles

$3.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Suction cup travel bottles stick right to the shower surround! So even if there's no dish or ledge I'll never drop my soap - and never have to bend over and pick up my soap - again. Ahhh, maybe that bad childhood memory...

Volleback Graphene Jacket

$695 from Vollebak »

No surprise the forthcoming Graphene Jacket "experimental prototypes" will be birthed from the utili-couture loins of Volleback. They're the same company responsible for the Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie, and known for...

Kin Slips Cannabis-Infused Dissolving Tongue Strips

Kin Slips describe themselves as "cannabis infused sublingual strips." Which to me translates as: weed you can dissolve under your tongue! Just like Listerine strips, except rather than fixing my bad breath, Kin Slips...

Warrior Axe Straight Razor

$125 from Amazon »

Ah, a straight razor for a straight-up warrior...who's also pretty dexterous with a razor. And an axe, for that matter. Magic Ethnics' Warrior Axe Straight Razor is a sight for sore Viking / Celtic / Nordic / gamer /...

YETI Panga Airtight, Waterproof, Submersible Duffel Bag

$299.99 - $399.99 from Amazon »

Dudes, do not fill your YETI Panga duffel with ice and beer. Airtight, waterproof, and submersible, the Panga series is YETI's "first non-insulated piece of gear that lives up to the standard of being built for the wild."...

Dualyz Summer Slipper Shoe with Removable Sole

$89.95 from Amazon »

Dualyz invites all dudes and ladies to take their bottoms off. Nah, not because they want to start an orgy. Because they make unisex slipper shoes, sneaker-style footwear with removable soles for protective traipsing...

Ugly Feet Flip Flops

$16.99 from Amazon »

Oh man, I thought my friend Cornelius had ugly feet. But if even he got a pair of these Ugly Feet Flip Flops, I would know the crusty, cracking, mangled, bunion-bulging dogs from the swamp couldn't possibly be his own...

Nutshellz Level I Bullet Resistant Groin Cup

$99.99 from Amazon »

Whoa. If I need a Nutshellz Level I bullet resistant groin cup it means I think I might be getting shot in the nuts. And if I'm getting shot in the nuts, it means the person doing the shooting is really evil, really hates...

Skinners Minimalist Barefoot Sock Shoes

$59.90 from Amazon »

Skinners combine socks and the minimalist, barefoot shoe craze to form...Skinners Minimalist Barefoot Sock Shoes. I feel like this is the one thousandth time already this year I've had to ask, Are we living in an episode...

Lay-n-Go Wired Accents Bag

$31.50 from Amazon »

Lay-n-Go, huh? Sounds like a Tinder date more than a cord and tech bag to me. But maybe the people who came up with the Lay-n-Go aren't familiar with the pleasures of laying and going, and therefore do not see the irony...

Men's Nike Benassi JDI Fanny Pack Slide

$49.99 from Finish Line »

If I heard about Nike's new Benassi JDI Fanny Pack men's slide sandals without seeing them, I'd probably ask whatever yay-hoo was telling me about them if he needed some shoes to go with his Dadbag and Swoveralls. Or...

Cuchini Camel Toe Pad

$19.95 from Amazon »

I know no dude wants a camel toe pad. At least...not for himself. But maybe he's looking for a thoughtful gift for his girlfriend, who's especially well endowed in the vulvar and, uh, front mound areas of her crotchal...

CHIIZ Hands-Free Sonic-Powered Toothbrush

The CHIIZ hands-free sonic-powered toothbrush, just like your mama, wants to know if you really brush your teeth for the requisite 2 minutes, twice a day? According to the recommended "Bass Brushing" technique of tiny...

The Original Pussycat Patch Crotch Wigs (NSFW)

$39.95 - $95.95 from Merkin Store »

Did you know crotch wigs have an official name besides "crotch wigs?" According to crotch wig maker The Original Pussycat Patch, they're called "merkins." Merkins! It sounds like a new breed of little creatures created...

G.I. Joe Cologne

$80 from Amazon »

I never considered what a G.I. Joe might smell like. I mean a real G.I. Joe. I know exactly what the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid smelled like: plastic and PB&J. And whatever else was on my hands when I touched them...

Duke Cannon Cold Ass Beer Shower Sack Gift Set

$75.95 from Amazon »

Duke Cannon has put together a fine gift for Dad - or any man who's into beer and hygiene - with their Cold Ass Beer Shower Sack. A limited edition compilation, the 6-strong set of grooming goods kicks off its rugged...

CUEME App-Controlled Vibrating Massage Bra

$39 from Amazon »

The CUEME Massage Bra is a smart supporter of boobies whose companion app allows wearers - or wearers' designated representatives - to control 4 vibration massage modes over "8 major massage pressure points" on the female...

Lace Up Jeans

$49.99 from Fashion Nova »

As much as I want to sit back and enjoy these hot ass Wild Thang Lace Up Jeans from Fashion Nova, I cannot keep my mind from bending at funny angles every time I look at them*. Is this an optical illusion? What happened...

Revolver Ring

$3,900 from Etsy »

I wonder if Outshine Designs got the idea for their Revolver Ring from Looney Tunes or one of those superhero movies where some poor sap tries to point a gun at the wrong Super Strong Man, and he takes it and bends it...