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Savage AF T-Shirt

$18.99 from Etsy »

Do the kids who say "Savage AF" even know who Fred Savage is? Better question: do the adults who know who Fred Savage is also know why it's funny to see little Kevin Arnold's face on a T-shirt that says, "Savage AF ...

Black Jack Boot Jack Boot Remover

$24.99 from Amazon »

Using a boot jack to take your boots off isn't pure laziness. Not just anyway. Anyone who owns a pair of burly work boots, tall and narrow cowboy boots, or spaceman snow boots knows that removing them entails more than...

CrossFloss Hands-Free Flossing Tool

I am definitely CrossFloss' target audience. The person who doesn't floss because it's tedious and time-consuming. And also because it makes me drool everywhere and I have a few teeth that are pressed so tight together...

ThinOPTICS Keychain Reading Glasses

$12.96 - $19.70 from Amazon »

ThinOPTICS, you're so kind to the elderly. Not only do these keychain reading glasses fold flat to eliminate the bulk of carrying readers around, but they also latch onto a set of keys so the likelihood of my mama forgetting...

Anxiety Ear Seed Kit

$19.99 from Amazon »

Plant these magic Ear Seeds and you too can grow a beanstalk out of the side of your head! Nah, that won't happen. Probably. Unless you've got bad karma from disobeying your mama too many times as a kid when she told...

Screwpop Chapstick Holder Keychain

$9.95 from Amazon »

I heard there are people with chapstick OCD. They apply it obsessively and own dozens of tubes and tubs of their favorite lip balms. I wonder if some of those people work at Screwpop Tool, and are the compulsive lip slatherers...

Steampunk Sundial & Compass Watch

$22.99 from Amazon »

Not a sundial and compass themed or styled wristwatch, but a wristwatch with an actual built-in sundial and compass. And none of those fancy analog or digital gears, movements, batteries, or Arabic numerals to help you...

Screw U Jewelry

$10 - $257 from Etsy »

Here's a big Screw U for the scorned, the heartbroken, and the Anti-Valentine's Day-ers. Calm down now, it's for you, not to you. Don one of Screw U Jewelry's bent screw rings, necklaces, or pair of earrings so you can...

adidas Predator Tango 18+ Indoor Shoes

$168.99 - $180 from Amazon »

The original intent of the adidas Predator design, conceptualized by the former Aussie footballing great Craig Johnston (who I've never heard of) was to give an increase to the friction between boot and ball via rubber...

Adidas NMD_CS1 GTX Primeknit Sneakers

$160.81 - $382.23 from Amazon »

Adidas' NMD_CS1 GTX Primeknit sneakers are made with a 100% waterproof GORE-TEX lining, so even though I'll trash their pristine white Primeknit upper within the first 15 minutes of stepping outside in the shoes, it will...

Giant Blue Jeans Sleeping Bag

This sleeping bag that looks like a giant pair of blue jeans, I don't know which part of their ludicrousness to tell you about first. OK, the obvious: this is a giant blue jeans sleeping bag (Ludicrous Part 1). It sleeps...

Pearl Diver Octopus Water Fountain

Yarr! I got me a wicked tharrst! Unleash the Kraken...water fountain. Sean M. Monaghan designed this octopus fountain, called Pearl Diver, for SPLASH! restaurant in the Santa Cruz Municipal Wharf. The double drinker is...

SlideBelts Survival Belt

$150 from Slidebelts »

SlideBelts' Survival Belt elevates more than just your outdoor adventure pants. The rugged, infinitely adjustable strap culminates in a multi-tool Survival Buckle, made of glass-filled nylon, and filled with an integrated...

South Park Charted

In case you forgot, South Park Charted is here to help you 'member. 'Member what? All twenty seasons of the show's most memorable characters and references, including the citizens of South Park, "The Many Guises of Cartman"...

Air Jordan 10 Retro Shoes

$190 from Nike »

The Air Jordan 10s or Xs (thanks Apple for creating a roman numeral awareness or lack thereof) were designed while MJ was away from the game, following his dream to become a baseball hitter and break the Mendoza line...

ORORO Soft Shell Heated Jacket

$154.99 from Amazon »

Of their soft shell heated jacket ORORO says, "This is not your grandma's heated blanket." Phew, that's a relief. Because my mama has already made me some pillows out of my grandma's old blankets, and while they're nice...

Leatherman Tread Tempo Multi-Tool Watch

$449.95 from Amazon »

The Leatherman Tread Tempo watch follows Leatherman's original wearable multi-tool, the Tread bracelet. So now you'll not only have all the implements you need to face unexpected onslaughts of DIY wrapped around your...

Porsche Design Bounce S4 Lux by Adidas

$538 from Amazon »

If you want to Bounce with Porsche Design's Adidas sneaker collaboration, you'll have to sacrifice kicking it with some of your favorite Benjamin Franklins. Every element of Porsche-inspired style and performance injected...

Sixer Insulated PBR Cooler Jacket

$250 from 686 »

Normally I would think something called a Sixer Insulated Jacket would insulate me from the cold. But when outdoor apparel brand 686 teamed up with Pabst Blue Ribbon, PBR had something else in mind. This special edition...

Where It Happened Map Jewelry

$125 - $1,995 from A. Jaffe »

The Maps jewelry collection from A. Jaffe could make your Valentine feel very, very special. Select any address in the world - the place you met, went on vacation, got engaged, ate the best tacos of your life - and A...

Wearable Superhero Full Body Armor

$1,299 - $6,999 from buyFullBodyArmors.com »

Full Body Armors' superhero and video game character costume replicas will secure your cosplay convention credibility, and make all of your Sundays Fundays. The made-to-measure suits transform wearers, from head to toe...

Leopard Leggings

$92 from Vie Active »

As long as you're in a pair of leopard leggings, ladies, it's OK to let the claws come out at hot yoga. Random chick stole the spot you've been putting your mat every class for the past 6 months? Dude next to you smells...

Virgin Bust Breast Lift Pads (NSFW)

When you see these Virgin Bust Breast Lift Pads do you think the same thing I do? Tune in, Tokyo. Tune in, Tokyo. No? Maybe just because you don't have all the information on the boobie-bettering cones yet. They fulfill...

SharkMan Wearable Furniture

You won't be unleashing any superhero maneuvers as the awkward and bulky SharkMan, but this concept from Yang Zhao isn't for fighting crime. Or sharks for that matter. SharkMan is a wearable piece of furniture. It's an...