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The Baby Shusher

By: on June 08, 2017
$31.48
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Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise on earth worse than a baby crying. I'd rather listen to a dial-up modem play the soundtrack to Frozen.

I don't know if the soothing human voice recordings on the Baby Shusher will calm all babies, or even work on the little dude above at all times, but I do know that if I owned a baby, I'd sure as shush want to give it a try. Especially since my betrothed told me I'm not allowed to get a Baby Muzzle.

Baby Shusher creators intend parents to incorporate the device into sleep training efforts. Its concept and rhythmic "shushes" stem from the Five S's to stop a crying baby Dr. Harvey Karp discusses in his book The Happiest Baby on the Block (the other four are swaddle, side / stomach position in bed, swing, and suck.) Karp says shushing, a loose replica of the sound of blood flow they hear in the womb, activates babies' natural calming reflex.

To activate the Baby Shusher, flip it on and adjust its volume to a level slightly louder than your baby's cries. You can then set the device to shush unattended for 15- or 30-minute increments.

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Baby Head Masks

$450 - $500 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

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The Baby Muzzle

$149.99 from Japan Trend Shop »

First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...

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In Vitro Baby Branding

Ink, sperm and eggs go in, a financially secure future comes out. In vitro fertilization is expensive, and let's face it, so are babies. What better way to offset the costs, and maybe make a little extra (elbow-elbow)...

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Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads

Through September 13th, 2105, click here to enter Dude's Mission Critical Baby Carrier & Daypack giveaway. It's your chance to MOLLE up those diapers, bottles & 6-month-olds with a Baby Carrier and Carrier Daypack combo...

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Watch Your Junk - Advice for Expectant Fathers

$9.99 from Amazon »

The best part about Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers isn't that the irreverent guide to dadhood is as fun of a read as it is informative. It's not that it covers topics other baby books ignore, or...

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Infant Circumcision Trainer

$192 from Amazon »

Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...

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Baby Thug Onesie

$19.98 from Amazon »

"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

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Skoda Man-Pram

By: Skoda »

At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it....

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Lalabu Dad Shirt

$75 from Amazon »

The Lalabu Dad Shirt is a different kind of Dadbag. One that some men will consider just as big of a joke, but that others, such dudes with infants who find themselves piling on as much gear as they once did for a weeklong...

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Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever

$14.99 from Amazon »

Windi the Gaspasser is one of those WTF products I as a childless dude saw and immediately thought was, in this order: a funny joke; a disgusting not-joke; a sad reality. You basically stick this little (un)plug in your...

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Crying Unicorn Candle

$24.79 from Firebox.com »

Is a crying unicorn a sign of impending doom or a hint that I should go get my coffee cup and drink up that rainbow magic for good luck?...

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Self-Installing Car Seat

$499.99 from Amazon »

The 4moms self-installing car seat may not be the most sparkly, fun, or pampering gift for new moms to unwrap this holiday season, but it could prove to be the greatest they've ever received. Paired with its watchdog...