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Princess Leia Bun Headphone Covers

By: on January 02, 2012
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Things that have withstood the test of time: Star Wars; synthetic hair; cunning women's ability to lure horny men by donning Princess Leia cinnamon buns. New to the mix is that these spirals o' power are useful too. Permanently glue or temporarily attach them to a pair of headphones, and create instant magnetic pull without having to turn off Beyonce and actually listen to your target's Jabba impression, or attempt to master the 1970s-era swagger of Harrison Ford. Available in blonde and ginger dyes.

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Helmfon Noise-Cancelling Helmet

Looks like Helmfon Jr. is playing with Daddy's noise-cancelling helmet again. Don't worry, kiddo, you'll grow into Darth Helmfon's sound absorber and privacy sphere soon enough. And then all the power of the Audibly Dark...

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Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder

$499.99 from Radio Flyer »

My Episode IV A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder hears the collective wail of all adult Star Wars fans and comes out with pre-order information for a second model of the replica X-34. One that supports weights...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Muscle Suits

$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Ladobi Erotic Film Earphones

$30.69 from Firebox.com »

If you're going to spend a fine Wednesday evening listening to people F softly, screw gently, hump sweetly, ball discreetly, and then F'ing bone completely, wouldn't you prefer that they not sound like Jack Black scraping...

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TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit

$2k from Dame Fatale »

Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...

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Python Skin Death Trooper Helmet

$3k from ELEMNT »

I think this python skin Death Trooper Helmet solidifies maker ELEMNT's position on Team Dark Side. Their first snaked-out Star Wars replica payed homage to Darth Vader, and was shaped around one of the 1,200 collector's...

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Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table

$6,499 from Regal Robot »

The only thing this Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table is missing is my feet. As Han Solo and Chewie expertly maneuver their ship through an asteroid field to evade Vader and his fleet, I relax with a Bud Light Lime...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...