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Pixelhead

By: on January 29, 2013

Suck it, Facebook! For a mere $200, Pixelhead will guarantee I never again have to worry about my boss' boss' boss finding his Timeline filled with photos of me double Boobs Ice Luging it with his 22-year-old daughter. Even if I'm tagged, this camouflage headpiece will reveal no identifying facial information, thus allowing me to take the Shaggy high road and insist, "It wasn't me."

Though fairly simple in appearance, Martin Backes has poured a great deal of effort into perfecting his Pixelhead. The final design and execution took him almost a year, and his current limited edition comprises 333 pieces. Each full-face mask affords comprehensive neck-up shielding from evil media recording devices while, with the aid of eye and mouth holes, safeguarding wearers from blindness and asphyxiation. Both the front and lining of the elastic fabric (the same glossy, non-fade polyester blend used for beach fashion and sport gear) are digitally printed with the pixel-style pattern of German Secretary of the Interior Hans-Peter Friedrich.

One downside to the Pixelhead is it's going to make my hair look like this guy's. But I guess spastic follicular skull extensions reminiscent of electrocution are a small price to pay for anonymity. Plus, I've always got the Morninghead for a next-day remedy. Though ironically, this whole hair thing could really undermine the balaclava's intent. Because if while wearing it people were to rip off my Pixelhead Scooby gang-style and behold the monstrosity at my corporal apex, not only would I lose my anonymity, but my image would probably sear itself so deeply into their minds that they'd remember and carry it like a scar for the rest of their lives.

Bummer.

Each Pixelhead is handsewn and printed in Germany in one-size-fits-all.

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