By: on January 29, 2013

Suck it, Facebook! For a mere $200, Pixelhead will guarantee I never again have to worry about my boss' boss' boss finding his Timeline filled with photos of me double Boobs Ice Luging it with his 22-year-old daughter. Even if I'm tagged, this camouflage headpiece will reveal no identifying facial information, thus allowing me to take the Shaggy high road and insist, "It wasn't me."

Though fairly simple in appearance, Martin Backes has poured a great deal of effort into perfecting his Pixelhead. The final design and execution took him almost a year, and his current limited edition comprises 333 pieces. Each full-face mask affords comprehensive neck-up shielding from evil media recording devices while, with the aid of eye and mouth holes, safeguarding wearers from blindness and asphyxiation. Both the front and lining of the elastic fabric (the same glossy, non-fade polyester blend used for beach fashion and sport gear) are digitally printed with the pixel-style pattern of German Secretary of the Interior Hans-Peter Friedrich.

One downside to the Pixelhead is it's going to make my hair look like this guy's. But I guess spastic follicular skull extensions reminiscent of electrocution are a small price to pay for anonymity. Plus, I've always got the Morninghead for a next-day remedy. Though ironically, this whole hair thing could really undermine the balaclava's intent. Because if while wearing it people were to rip off my Pixelhead Scooby gang-style and behold the monstrosity at my corporal apex, not only would I lose my anonymity, but my image would probably sear itself so deeply into their minds that they'd remember and carry it like a scar for the rest of their lives.


Each Pixelhead is handsewn and printed in Germany in one-size-fits-all.

Buy Now

Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool

Sold Out from Amazon »

You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...

Buy Now

Sap Cap - Weaponized Baseball Hat

Sold Out from Amazon »

Unassuming. Low-profile. Comfortable. Able to shatter wrist bones. Just the combination of qualities I've been looking for in a baseball hat. The Sap Cap takes traditional headwear to the covert weapon level with its...

Check it out

The $20,000 Invisible Man Kit

$20k from Optics Planet »

Optics Planet, the same purveyor of hunting, sport optics, tactical, military, and all-around Man Gear that brought us the $24,000 Z.E.R.O. Zombie Apocalypse Kit, is now testing Alpha interest in another supernatural...

Buy Now

Paintball Airow Gun

Sold Out from Amazon »

To those who call paintball "just a game," prepare to have your pieholes slapped shut by the barrel of a .68-cal Bow-mount Airow Gun. The pellet blaster attaches to a compound or recurve bow and swaps out CO2 cartridges...

Buy Now

Crocheted Knight Helmet

$19.99 - $26 from Amazon »

Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days...

Buy Now

KAVU Chillba Hat

$31.50 - $44.95 from Amazon »

A KAVU Chillba Hat, some KEEN UNEEK Sandals, and an unwavering commitment to bringing the whole team--even the kids who just stand around at midfield and barely break a sweat--orange slices for after their soccer games...

Check it out

Stetson Carbon Fiber Fedora

Know when I could have used a carbon fiber fedora? Nope, that's not a question dripping in sarcasm whose answer is "Never." I really could have used a carbon fiber fedora last week when my girlfriend dragged me to some...

Check it out

Leather Star Wars Hats

$149.99 - $594.99 from Etsy »

Swans have a reputation for both beauty and aggression, and I think The Blonde Swan nails both with her lavishly brash Star Wars-themed leather hats. All come out of Swan Elisabeth Martin's custom Victorian milliner's...

Check it out

Pixel Panties

$27.50 from Pixel Panties »

When I saw these Pixel Panties I felt like I walked into a Super Mario Bros. mushroom. Drrring Drrring DRRRRRRING! From little Mario to big Mario in 1 second flat. In addition, the 8-bit underwear's Portuguese designers...

Check it out

CV Dazzle - Computer Vision Camouflage

FREE from CV Dazzle »

A complex, but increasingly important concept, computer vision (CV) is the collection of algorithms that devices ranging from security cameras to Facebook's PhotoTagger use to automatically detect and recognize human...

Check it out

Brain Hat

$5 from Ravelry »

Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn...

Check it out

Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie


The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects...