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Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet

By: on March 28, 2013
  • Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet
  • Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet
Discontinued

My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with crispy, hot-off-the-iron square reservoirs with limp, lackluster Eggos she popped out of the toaster. They were always still frozen in the center, Nana! Needless to say, I had to get a new grandma to make me waffles. And I'll bet that if I want one of these phenomenal Optimus Prime helmets, I'll have to get a second new grandma from BriAbby to crotchet me one of them too.

I wonder if the Transformers on Cybertron have grandmas to make them woven yarn hats in the likenesses of Earth's great human leaders, such as Abraham Lincoln and Tom Brady and Chuck Norris.

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Optimus Prime Converting Power Bank

$49.99 from Hasbro »

Straight outta HasCon: The Transformers Optimus Prime Converting Power Bank! Hasbro revealed their geek's wet dream of a charger in July, but hauled it out in person Autobot for the first time at their HasCon convention...

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Steampunk Optimus Prime

$17k from Etsy »

My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...

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Crocheted Knight Helmet

$19.99 - $26 from Amazon »

Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days...

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Sushi Transformers

$10.99 - $79.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Behold the Sushi Squadron Shirada, an army of raw fish and rice bound by seaweed and mayonnaise. Or is it? An army, sure. But are those soldiers really seafood-based or are they...yes. That's what I thought. More than...

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Transformers Engagement Rings

Discontinued

Are you more of an Autobot or a Decepticon? No, wait, let's back up. Are you more of a normal person or a gigantic geek? If the second, then please proceed with answering the first question. And regardless of what that...

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Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie

Discontinued

The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects...

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Tank Slippers

$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for...

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Chameleon Lounger

$5,500 from Opulent Items »

Check out the Optimus Prime of seating designs. Though slightly less cool than the balls lounger, Francesca Donati's chameleon lounger still looks way more comfortable and relaxing than my hangover. Whoa, non sequitur....

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Men's Dino Hood

$54 from Etsy »

Mr. Stegosaurus, what soft scales you have. The better to nuzzle you with, my dear. And Mr. Stegosaurus, what flappy spikes you have. The better not to impale you with, my dear. And Mr. Stegosaurus, what hipster-humanlike...

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Transformers: The Covenant of Primus

$66.83 from Amazon »

Star Wars gets an entire series of transforming vaults revealing the histories and dogmas of its most famous characters, so it only makes sense that a legendary hero with an equally illustrious past--plus the actual ability...

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Optimus Prime Hoodie

$60 from 80stees.com »

They call the Optimus Prime Hoodie a costume, but come on. I would rock that shizit out any day of the year. Particularly days when I feel like spontaneously transforming into a brave and wise leader of robots (with accompanying...

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Ruckus Hoptimus Prime Beer

$6.49 - $87.99 from Half Time »

Ruckus Brewing's Hoptimus Prime enjoys a wicked twist of irony: instead of transforming those who drink it into sage and powerful leaders of an elite race of impenetrable robots, at 9.0% ABV the double IPA reduces them...