53

Unicorn Hooded Towel

By: on December 24, 2012
$49
from
Check It Out

What a surprise my nieces and nephews will get tonight when they sneak down to catch a glimpse of Santa, and instead see me prancing around the living room in my magical unicorn towel. Don't worry, kids, I bear gifts too. Rainbows and fairy dust and occasional guest appearances by She-Ra.

Hey, the listing very specifically states that the unicorn towel is for adults.

OK, I guess it also technically insinuates female adults. As in, "This Adult Unicorn will make any big girl happy!" No comment on that particular choice of words, but...I suppose I should wrap mine up and give it to my grandma tomorrow instead. Leave the prancing to, uh, Prancer.

The unicorn's rainbow mane is made of washable polar fleece, and the remainder of the towel is a traditional bathsheet measuring 69" x 36". For an additional $5 vendor Wendy Carter will personalize it. I'd name my unicorn moisture absorber "Swift Wind."

Check it out

The Horizontal Shower

In paradise, you take a Horizontal Shower. You lie on a smooth, warm slab of tile as 6 falls of water cascade like mermaid kisses onto your tired and thirsty skin. You choose their intensity and temperature, their pattern...

Check it out

Chucky Bath Bomb

I know this Chucky Bath Bomb looks spherical, but take caution while using it. I can almost guarantee you there are some pointy edges hiding in there somewhere....

Buy Now

Mysseuse Self-Massager & Towel Holder

$24.99 from Amazon »

I've makeshift Mysseuse-d myself on the corner of a wall or door more times than I can count. And self-massages with devices like the Shiatsu Pillow and doohickies like the Beastie Bar have become pretty popular for kneading...

Buy Now

My Shiney Hiney Brush Set

$16.88 - $19.98 from Amazon »

Well. I wouldn't argue it isn't dirty. I'm just not sure I care enough to go to the lengths required to make my hiney shiney. I think this cleansing brush set for the bunghole is geared towards women anyway, judging by...

Buy Now

Sand-Free Beach Mat

$34.95 - $99.95 from Amazon »

I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that repelled...no, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...

Check it out

The Undercover - Changing Room in a Backpack

$69 - $75 from The Undress »

The streakers, flashers, and proud displayers of crack of the world will probably take offense at The Undercover, but for the rest of us, a portable changing room that carries our change of, or changed-out-of, clothes...

Buy Now

Dude Wipes

$8.49 from Amazon »

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...

Buy Now

Alligator Beach Towel Anchor Stakes

Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't know if these Beach Towel Anchor Stakes are alligators or crocodiles, but I do know they look ready to take a bite out of some terry cloth, and tell the wind to Blow it! this summer....

Buy Now

AquaDance Drencher Showerhead

Sold Out from Amazon »

No, I am not showing you the AquaDance Drencher 3-setting 8" curved rainfall showerhead with waterfall mode just because it looks like a vagina....

Check it out

Crying Unicorn Candle

$24.79 from Firebox.com »

Is a crying unicorn a sign of impending doom or a hint that I should go get my coffee cup and drink up that rainbow magic for good luck?...

Buy Now

Monster Towel - World's Biggest Beach Towel

$89.95 from Amazon »

Why have a threesome when you can have a fivesome? The Monster Towel is the World's Orgy-est Beach Towel! Oh, uh, I mean, the World's Biggest Beach Towel! At least that's what the people who make the 10' x 10' Monster...

Check it out

Paper Animal Head Trophy Kits

$10 - $75 from Resident »

Rather than designer animal kills from sub-Saharan Africa, Tristan Sopp is into killer animal designs from his own head. The 10 exotic head trophies Sopp has conceived and developed for his Resident Design Co. shop are...