Mangroomer - DIY Electric Back Shaver
It's obvious what the Mangroomer is, so let's just cut to to the chase: what can this DIY back shaver do for you?
First and foremost, the Mangroomer can remove the fur coat/genetic misfortune from your back without ever exposing it to another living soul. The electric trimmer's fully adjustable, extendable, and bendable arm locks into place at any position from 0 to 135 degrees so the user can apply its 1-1/2" blade anywhere up and down the back. It will bushwhack every square inch of thatch in need of annihilation cleanly and smoothly, without fear of leftover stubble or ingrown hairs.
By proxy, the Mangroomer can also give you your life back. No more strangers inching their towels away from yours at the beach. No more ladies recoiling in horror the moment the shirts come off. No more chimpanzees chasing you up and down their exhibits at the zoo, eager to dig their fingers into that follicular fluff that surely must be brimming with tasty lice.
Unsavorily hairy men, your time has come. Reach out, grab hold of a Mangroomer, and raise it high overhead in victory. You've found the answer, you've won the battle, and you are literally one buzzing rod away from a new you.