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Knuckle Duster Beard Comb

By: on November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100
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Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face tine combo a must-have accessory for all men, bearded or not. Like me. The best I can grow on my face is a reddish pedostache and 2 misshapen patches of chin pubes, but I'd still use a knuckle comb to sagely scratch my chin and make menacing gestures at children and birds that get too close to me.

Knuckle duster beard combs are 3D-printed weapon cum facial hair groomers purchasable in polished plastic ($31.75), matte/polished gold or bronze steel ($98.50 to $100), and raw stainless steel ($97).

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Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun

$62.03 from Amazon »

When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning...

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The Beard Bro Beard-Shaping Tool

$17.79 from Amazon »

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

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Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring

$40 - $50 from Etsy »

Bill Gates recently said he thinks Control-Alt-Delete was a mistake, but I'll bet if he saw the Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring he'd reconsider. Sure, programming Windows' universal Abort! command as 3 keys instead...

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Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit

$1,680 from Her Royal Flyness »

I am drawing this Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit to the world's attention only so that if anyone sees a woman carrying a bluish-greenish colored purse you'll know to report her immediately to a shrink, the police, and Batman....

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Defiant Craft Knuckle Dusters

$8.90 - $17.99 from Defiant Craft »

When I saw this set of Defiant Craft knuckle dusters I thought of the Bon Jovi song "Have a Nice Day", and also what I would like to use the knuckle dusters to do to the speaker that's playing the Bon Jovi song "Have...

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TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

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Star Wars Storm Trooper Electric Shaver

$49.97 from Amazon »

They used the Force Friday on me and all I can see is Star Wars merch! The Storm Trooper Electric Shaver from Philips Norelco is another forthcoming (10/1/17) addition to the Star Wars: The Last Jedi frenzy....

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Beard Grow XL Facial Hair Supplement

$79.99 from Amazon »

Snake oil? No Way! Beard Grow XL isn't oil at all. It's pills! Ninety little capsules whose daily dose claims to carry the coveted effect of a full and glorious facial bush that's sure to rival the one on Santa himself....

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Xenomorph Folding Knuckle Duster Ring

Sold Out from Etsy »

A xenomorph is a pretty good choice for a knuckle duster topper I think. According to Wikipedia, these types of Aliens, unlike many others pitted against humans in the sci-fi genre, "do not have a technological civilization...

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Cat Ring Self Defense Tool

$8.59 - $8.99 from Amazon »

Some kittehs can haz cheezburger. Other kittehs can mak yur face cheezburger. Like this kitteh, smithed into a sweet ring with conflict-ready stainless steel cat ears. I'd say it would make a great gift for your girlfriend...

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Grass Knuckles - Living Jewelry

When it comes to living things, are you more into cultivating them, or popping them in the jaw? Icelandic industrial designer Hafsteinn Juliusson's live grass knuckles are brilliantly executed wearable flora for the half...

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Le Loup Multi-Tool

$15.21 - $45.62 from N-Product »

Here's why I'm showing you yet another multi-tool: because one look at the Le Loup Multi-Tool reminds me that winter...is here. Which! Means that summer...is coming. And in 2017, summer brings the premiere of Game of...