Body Mint Internal Deodorant Pills
I can't guarantee you'll get laid if you don't smell like a cesspool of bacteria and last night's broccoli & Cheez Whiz casserole, but I can guarantee you won't get laid if you do. My point: you're better off not smelling like a cesspool of bacteria and last night's broccoli & Cheez Whiz casserole. Understandably, that's easier said than done for some active bodies and active eaters. So for you there's Body Mint Sport, a bottle of pills intended to curb the olfactory repercussions of highly active lifestyles.
Body Mint Sport pills have been formulated specifically for athletes and heavy sweaters concerned their body odor will repel or ruin their chances of physical contact with other human beings. According to creators Zero Gravity Hawaii, taking 2 Body Mint tablets twice a day will begin the attack on odor internally, neutralizing noxious fumes that would otherwise waft from sweaty armpits and feet. It also fights bad breath.
Made from "healthy green ingredients", namely a derivative of chlorophyll, they say Body Mint Sport can be used in addition to or instead of deodorant. If that's true, I'm going to buy a whole Santa Claus sack of the stuff and hand it out to homeless people and hippies and everyone I see leaving a Taco Bell. Resistant parties will be informed that the little green tablets are super-concentrated marijuana plant extract. No wait...all parties will be informed that they're super-concentrated weed pills. I'll charge $5 per pair. I can see the headline in the Times now: "Man Improves Smell of City Populace, Gets Extremely Rich." Mayor, I'll take that Man of the Year award whenever you're ready.
Active men and women, or sedentary men and women who smell like they're active, can purchase Body Mint Sport in 54-count bottles.