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Scratch My Wood Custom Scratch-Off Cards

By: on February 25, 2017
Discontinued

Scratch my wood. Not a request I make often. Even of my girlfriend. And especially not of my friend Cornelius. But since the wood to be scratched in this case will come out of an envelope rather than my pants, I'm going to go ahead and say it to everyone I know: Scratch My Wood.

Scratch My Wood handcrafts "mystery scratchers" and mails them as greeting cards printed with your custom message to your desired recipient. Slices of thin, sanded wood in oval, rectangular, round, or square shapes serve as the base of each card, and a non-toxic, silver scratch-off paint coats the top of them. In between you have 180 characters to tell someone you love, hate, or want to prank whatever you like, in your choice of 11 different ink colors.

You'll have the option of signing your name into the 180-character max, or leaving that information out and sending the card anonymously. Scratch My Wood won't reveal its senders, and the box their cards arrive in include no information but their own return address. Definitely gonna go that route with my Aunt Jan.

Dear Aunt Jan, You're a big ol' bi*ch. From, ??? Hahaha, she'll go nuts trying to figure out who--oh wait. I'm her only nephew. Hmmm. I'll have to rethink that one.

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The Best Prank Birthday Card Ever

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Now my favorite birthday gifts come in the form of a Peeping Creeper at the bedroom window or talking an amateur heavyweight UFC fighter into accusing my friend Cornelius of sleeping with his girlfriend, but if you're...

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Go F Yourself Condom Card

$9.99 - $12.99 from FunnyCondoms.com »

I can think of many people to whom I'd like to send a Go F Yourself card (complete with packaged condom for carrying out the act!) but one dude stands out like a glowing beacon bobbing amidst the sea of the rest. How...

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Ka-Bar Snody Crisis Card

$44.61 from Amazon »

The Snody Crisis Card is punched and jagged for a strong grip and maximal impact when you need to defend yourself. And it's finished in a rich anodized blue with gold edge accents for a slick look and flash of intimidation...

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Wish Clips - Candle Holders for Drinks

$9.99 from Wish Clips »

Happy birthday, ya big lush! Wish Clips, candle holders that slip onto the rims of drink glasses, offer a simpler, more subtle, and cakeless way for thirsty adults celebrating a birthday or other special event to make...

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Punderdome: A Card Game for Pun Lovers

$15.62 from Amazon »

All puns, all night long at your next bro night? No, dudes, I'm not playing games with your heart. I'm playing games with this deck of Punderdome cards. Interested, ye linguistic manipulators? Ye nimble thinkers? Ye word...

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Go F*ck! - Go Fish for Adults (NSFW)

$7.70 from Amazon »

I never was much of a Go Fisher. Unlike War, it just had too many rules to keep track of so I always lost. The same will probably happen with Go F*ck, the "adult" version of the kiddie card game, but I get the sense that...

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F**k. The Game

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Who would claim you can "get smarter while swearing at your friends?" F**kin' Australia, mates. F**k. The Game is an Aussie issue, and a mind trip of cards and colors and good ol' cussin' for us all. It's a spirited party...

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Hate Mail Anti-Greeting Cards

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Hatemail won't just print you the perfect card for your ex / arch nemesis, they'll mail it for you. With a personalized, custom message. 100% anonymously. If you like....

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Disturbed Friends - The Worst Game Ever Made

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Consumer drones? Wearables? Self-driving cars (and -walking shoes)? Nah. I think politically incorrect card-based games that at some point make every person playing them feel extremely uncomfortable or self-conscious...

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Batman Party Invitations

Discontinued

Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy...

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Superfight! Card Game

$29.99 from Amazon »

Superfight! instructs us to imagine Cards Against Humanity meets Apples to Apples. For the sake of what comes next, I would add to imagine this meeting takes place in either a dark alley, an octagon, or on opposite ends...

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SilentKeys - The Go-Incognito Keyboard

$143 - $188 from Silent Keys »

SilentKeys launched its Kickstarter campaign today, seeking your funding for your privacy. This plug 'n' play USB keyboard connects to any computer and turns all key strokes and actions you complete while using it incognito....