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The Pizza Shirt

By: on January 09, 2013
$39.99
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In the spirit of the World's Tackiest Sweaters, but with short sleeves, cheese, and pepperoni*. Somehow the Pizza Shirt falls both into the categories of Insults to the Concept of Clothing and Must-Have Additions to My Wardrobe. Mmm, look at that brown, bubbly mozzerella and those palm-sized disks of processed meat. This polyester pizza party looks good enough to...hmmm. You know, sometimes I make an unlikely conditional statement and announce that if it comes to fruition I will eat my hat. In these cases I am, via the use of a proverbial expression, exaggerating to make a point. I would probably never eat my hat unless there were a large sum of money or threat of violence involved. However, were I to replace the hat with a Pizza Shirt, in the unlikely event of my "If" coming to pass I don't think I would have a problem chowing down. In fact, I wonder if after having a few Jagerbombs in conjunction with the NFL playoffs this Saturday, I won't try to take a bite out of one of those juicy pepperonis of my own accord. I need a moment to think about this.

OK, here it is: If I don't get drunk this weekend and try to eat my Pizza Shirt, I'll eat my Pizza Shirt. Bam!

Body-swathing combinations of wheat, dairy, and meat are printed on unisex polyester American Apparel T-shirts and come in sizes S to XL.

*OK, for the 4 vegetarians out there who don't hate me, I'm including a shot of Pizza Shirt's veggie deluxe tee in the above grouping too.

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