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Squid Flame Hoodie

By: on February 05, 2014
$39
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Brandon Bird created this Squid Flame hoodie, a clever piece of gear for all the fans of fantastical sea beasts and marine biologists out there. It is unclear, though, if Bird or someone on online retailer Topatoco's payroll came up with this gem of wisdom to promote it: If only Ryan Gosling had known about this hoodie he wouldn't have been forced to suffer the indignity of prancing around in that embarrassing scorpion jacket in that Drive movie.

Enough said.

Squid Flame hoodies come in sizes XS through 3XL. What do you figure Ryan Gosling is? Celebrities are all little...maybe a Medium? I think I'll send him one.

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vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

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Steampunk Octopus Door Handles

$700 from Etsy »

If Tolkien went steampunk, these giant octopus door handles would make the perfect substitute for a wizard wielding a sword and staff. Kraken says, You shall not pass!...

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Octopus Kite

$48.90 from Amazon »

I don't think the giant 3D Octopus Kite that's for sale is quite the same as the giant 3D Octopus Kite flying in the above video. But maybe your kids won't notice that when, after showing them the graceful cephalopod...

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Medieval Knight Hoodie

Discontinued

See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks...

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Iron Man Hoodie

Discontinued

This Iron Man crime-fighting-armor-turned-loungewear combines the Avenger's Mark VII and Mark VIII suits. Its chest and shoulders draw from the former, while the elbows and abdomen take after the latter. Awww, it's like...

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Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket

Sold Out from Amazon »

Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but...

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Dragon Hoodie

$447 from Canada Cosplay »

I like it when objects can wholly encompass their descriptors both literally and figuratively. For example, previously dragons were hot due solely to their deadly breath of fire. But then Canada Cosplay decided to turn...

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Technomancer Digital Wizard Hoodie

$119.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sometimes for April Fool's Day merchants make up fake products and list them as real products that no one can actually buy and it's hilarious. And sometimes for April Fool's Day merchants make up fake products and list...

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Ramen Hoodie

$18.99 - $22.99 from Amazon »

Eat it or wear it, that's what my grandma used to say. It was meant to be a threat, but now that I see this delightfully loud and obnoxious Ramen Hoodie, I think I would like to retroactively choose the latter. I'll wear...

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Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie

$318 from Vollebak »

Built-in nap protocol: score. Hydrophobic and water-repellent: score. Windproof: score. Cozy and insulated: score. The Baker Miller Hoodie scores a lot of points for being slick and functional. But how many does it lose...

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Sirius the White Knight Hoodie

$299 from Etsy »

Medieval knight hoodies aren't new, but when I saw this white version, coined Sirius, The White Knight, I knew it would be the perfect addition to my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power's and my bedroom activities....

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Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...