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Pando Moto Kevlar-Lined Motorcycle Jeans

By: on August 31, 2016
$244
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Like Pando Moto's Karl Desert motorcycle jeans? Their stylin' Cordura denim outer layer pairs with Coolmax technology to help keep you from sweating your balls off while riding, plus panels of Kevlar at key areas along the inside to help protect you from pureeing a knee, thigh, or ass cheek if you go down. Nice, right?

Very nice.

If you have a twenty-seven-inch waist! Twenty-eight is fine too. Or 29, 30, 31...sizes go all the way up to a hefty 36W for the fatties! Pando Moto is a Lithuanian company that prides itself on limited edition denim designs made exclusively for bikers. And apparently Lithuania is a country that prides itself on petite men with the waistlines of Jessica Alba and my calves. So if you laid off the BBQ ribs and peach cobblers this summer, grab yourself a pair of "tapered, slim fit" Karl Deserts.

Muchas danke to Silodrome.

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Sick in the Head: The 10 Coolest Motorcycle Helmets

Some people say you're sick in the head for riding a motorcycle. I say you're sick in the head if you're wearing one of these motorcycle helmets. And I mean it in the very, very best sense of the word. Here are my picks...

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The TRON Light Cycle

Discontinued

Yeah, it costs more than twice the country's 2011 median income, but two little words make it worth every penny: Street. Legal. If you can convince the bank, or your mom, to spot you the cash, a living, breathing replica...

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AdrenaSuit - Bulletproof & Superpowered

The fit is hitting the shan. The adrenaline dam has busted, and your fight-or-flight response is sprinting at a world-record-setting pace. What does it look like? Are you stepping up? Freezing up? Freaking out? Peacing...

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Diet Star Diet Belt

$19 from Donkey »

Here's a wearable health tracker for you. Super low tech. Even your mama can figure out how to use the Diet Star diet belt. And she's gonna need to because...

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ScorpionExo Covert Kevlar Flannel Shirt

$129.95 - $140.21 from Amazon »

Kevlar flannel. It's why Kurt Cobain didn't die in a motorcycle crash. Nah. I don't know if Cobain even rode a bike. But if he did, ScorpionExo's Covert Flannel could have helped save his hide if he went down. The shirt...

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Uno Bolt E-Unicycle

$999 - $1,099 from Uno Bolt »

Uno, dos, tres...Bolt! You won't go 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds - or ever - on the Uno Bolt, but you will have the privilege of scooting away lickety split from the lady who caught you helping yourself to her plum tree (hey...

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Motoped Survival Bike

$2,499 - $3,149 from Motoped »

Universal mounting rack. Three gallons of fuel. In critical times, Motoped's Survival Bike puts escape in the hands of your feet. The military-inspired superhauler has a back rack assembly primed for multiple bolt-on...

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RYNO One Wheel Motorcycle

$5,295 from RYNO Motors »

Ever wanted to pop a perpetual wheelie? Well get ready, 'cause RYNO Motors is in production and set for the 2012 US release of two tiers of its self-balancing, single-wheeled, shit-stirring beast of a motorcycle. OK...

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Gunbus 410 - World's Biggest Motorcycle

A Texas-sized hog made in southwest Germany. Leonhardt Manufacturing's Gunbus 410 owns the current title of World's Biggest (Running) Motorcycle. That means you can really own and operate the steel-and-aluminum behemoth...

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Saint Unbreakable Motorcycle Jeans

$175 - $360 from Saint »

When Saint calls their motorcycle jeans "unbreakable," they mean it without jest or hyperbole. And they're willing to put their body weight, their belt grinder, their X-acto knife, and their brute force where their mouth...

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NUVIZ HUD for Motorcycle Helmets

$499 from NUVIZ »

If you're not lucky enough to be selected by Skully to beta test their HUD motorcycle helmet, you might consider joining the line to own the NUVIZ take on motorcycle Head-Up Display. The NUVIZ Ride:HUD, a joint venture...

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The Dark Knight Rises Motorcycle Suit

$1,545 from UD Replicas »

Answer: As a souped-up sick UD Replicas Motorcycle Suit. Question: What is one more way in which the Dark Knight rises? Designed especially for the latest Batman trilogy's epic conclusion, the Dark Knight Rises Motorcycle...