Clothing

Nightwing Hoodie

$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both...

Legend of Zelda Link Hoodie

$119.99 from Etsy »

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of...

Jedi Bathrobe

$46 from Amazon »

I bet this is the only bathrobe on Amazon--no, on the planet!--that has 121 customer reviews! 121 reviews! 159 if you count its second listing here. 159 reviews*! Of a bathrobe. I know it's a Jedi bathrobe and it has...

Tetris Leggings

Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from...

Drinkmaster Hoodie

$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate...

Electric Hoodies

$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Wonder Woman Bikini

$49.95 from Amazon »

Hello, warrior princess of the Amazons. And that's putting it mildly. Were Wonder Woman to constrict me in the grips of her Lasso of Truth I might have some lengthier, more, uh...carnally colorful...things to say about...

Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear

$13.50 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black...

Dress Pants Sweatpants

$90 from Beta Brand »

Boredom meets the boardroom with these stylish yet comfortable dress pant sweatpants. These chameleons of the fashion world, at first glance, look like fine charcoal wool trousers. But don't tell your legs that. They're...

Frosty the Nose Thief Sweater

$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes...

Harley Quinn Hoodie

$119.99 from Etsy »

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.)...

Sucker Punch Babydoll Costume

$410 from Etsy »

I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...

SeV Sterling Store-Everything Jacket

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Scottevest SeV Sterling jacket has 24 interior pockets. 24! That means it can hold my wallet (condoms), water bottle (lube), iPad (In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon DVD), sunglasses (vibrator), Bluetooth headset...

Sushi Socks

$5.39 - $28.99 from Otakumode »

They're sushi socks going on anyway. Probably more like kusaya socks coming off. Mmmm, take a whiff of that, Cornelius. All the wasabi and pickled ginger in the world isn't going to cover up the scent of me and my fuchsia...

Alien Nativity Ugly Christmas Sweater

$79.99 from Middle of Beyond »

Check out the jazz hands on the Alien Baby Jesus. Dropped fresh from the Virgin Mothership, he's not so much here to save us as he is to perform a lively and festive dance number alongside the Little Green Herald Angels....

Zip-Up Snow Goggle Coats

Discontinued

Looking like a bank robber or a rejected design for a Star Wars Stormtrooper has never been easier with Ai Riders on the Storm's hi-tech winter coats. Cutting onions in an igloo toasty and tear-free is now possible too!...

Flame Smart Heated Base Layer

$135 from indiegogo »

In cities with bitter winters, it seems like it's always one extreme or the other: not enough clothing and you're colder than a well digger's asshole; or too many layers and you're walking around in -2 degrees sweating...

Ninja Flip T-Shirt

$16.99 - $20.99 from Amazon »

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked...

Hoodsie - Adult Hooded Onesie

$65 - $85 from Hoodsie »

The bad news: at printing, Hoodsie adult hooded onesies just completed a successful Kickstarter campaign, and are available only for pre-order. Delivery is not anticipated until April 2014, long after the most bone-chilling...

Star Wars Spandex

$123 - $134 from Black Milk Clothing »

I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed...

Star Trek: The Next Generation Hoodies

$59.99 from ThinkGeek »

They may be only moderately reminiscent of the uniforms Picard & Co. wore in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but definitely these hoodies will be more comfortable, breathable, and sported acceptably by all shapes and...

The Shield - Tech Jacket with ID Protection

$99 - $249 from Avid Union »

Maker Enthousis says their Shield Tech jacket (and hoodie) line has superpowers. And I'm not even going to call BS on that claim. Anymore, any piece of equipment--or in this case, wearable textile--able to save my identity...

Mr. Gugu & Miss Go Underwear

Naturally those responsible for the World's Tackiest Sweaters would also have a hand in underwear with launching rockets, Statue of David family jewels, octopus-skull hybrids, and What Does the Fox Say? on it. But unlike...

Stash Waterproof Pocket Shorts

Discontinued

Sometimes people do stupid shit, such as get extremely drunk and ornery on the 4th of July and refuse to respond to reason and jump off the deck of a Carver 54 motor yacht...twice...without taking their brand new iPhones...

Super Mario Latex Dress

$205 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not...

JoeyBra Pocketed Bra

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you or a lady you know is not fortunate enough to have cleavage sized for stashing cash, phones, and plastic, I recommend a boob job. Or, I suppose, a JoeyBra. JoeyBras are designed to provide hands-free storage of...

Kane Leather Harley-Davidson Jacket

$475 - $525 from Harley-Davidson »

Though it's not exactly riding weather in many parts of the US this winter, I'm guessing this Kane leather riding jacket from Harley-Davidson will still keep the men who wear it from freezing their asses off walking from...

Harley Quinn Leggings

She's just been let loose to wreak havoc and revenge in Batman: Arkham City. Harley Quinn's equally deadly next stop? Ladies' legs. And this time, her weapon of choice is an explosive cocktail of Polyester and Spandex....

OMsignal Biometric Apparel

Here's a neat product for people who like to nettle and bore friends and strangers to the edge of death with news of their ailments, injuries, stress levels, and overall health. You want to converse about your state of...

Harvard Law...Just Kidding Sweatshirt

$34.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send...

Reindeer Threesome Sweater

$59.99 from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...

Star Wars X Wing Pilot Jacket

Sold Out from Amazon »

Mark Ecko is doing everything he can to make Star Wars a leading name in high fashion. I just wish the items were priced in accordance with the bank accounts of Star Wars fans rather than those of Star Wars actors and...

Acoustically Transparent Hoodie

$142.20 from Beta Brand »

Audio engineer Nic Pope designed a hoodie for in the studio, on stage, at festivals, and while walking down the street in oversized headphones. He's calling it the Audio Engineer's Hoodie. Pope provides a rundown of special...

Jaws Skirt

$45.99 from Etsy »

Did anyone who left the theater after seeing Jaws for the first time not exit with a newly-acquired fear of sharks, and a newly-acquired need of a new pair of pants? I'm pretty sure Spielberg's decision to make a movie...

Tetris Swimsuit

Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent...

Star Wars R2-D2 Bra

Discontinued

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star...

Laser Space Cats Leggings

$58.95 from Lovelysally »

Laser Cats has finally made the leap from SNL short to Italian women's fashion. Sans copyright infringement given that these leggings' cats shoot lasers from their eyes instead of their mouths, and appear to be permanently...

Back Massage T-Shirts

$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever...

Chainmail Bikini Top

$175 from Etsy »

Cosplay, Comic-Con, even the swimming pool. Yes, this handwoven chainmail bikini top is waterproof and primed for a summer of splashing, floating, and breaststroking medieval style. All that's missing is the sea serpent...

Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set

$25.95 - $35 from Amazon »

Being a fan of the Dark Knight isn't necessary for giving two enthusiastic thumbs up and a shit-eating grin to this Batsuit. Ladies wearing a glow-in-the-dark Batman camisole and lace-up underwear set might even turn...

Grizzly Bear Underwear

$32.79 from Firebox.com »

I know grizzly bears are meant to connote fortitude, ferocity, and...bigness...in a reverential way, but, uh, I'm pretty sure these grizzly bear underwear are intended only for dudes who don't want blowjobs. They could...

Elf Sweater

$64.95 from Amazon »

At first I was like, This is the ugliest ugly Christmas sweater I've ever seen. It is so ugly it's not even ironic, it's just ugly. Then my (newly single!) friend Cornelius reminded me it looks like Will Ferrell as Buddy...

Wool & Prince Hardly-Ever-Wash-Me Shirt

$128 from Wool & Prince »

Do you know how many men in the Pacific Northwest are going to go apeshit when they find out about a wool shirt that will stay wrinkle- and odor-free for 100 days straight...without washing, ironing, or dry cleaning it?...

Vault 101 Hoodie

$58 from Bethesda »

Mmm, I smell a Cake Bake-Off coming on. Residents of Vault 101 take note: I will accept submissions of the sponge variety only this year. A fleece zip-up nod to the Fallout series, Bethesda's Vault 101 hoodie is passable...

Doppelganger Humanoid Fleece

Leave it to Japan Trend Shop to extol the virtues of these Humanoid Fleeces--a "secret" second run of the onesies that sold out during their initial release, your ticket to looking like a superhero in a cult sci-fi movie--while...

Lightning Bolt Button-Up Shirt

$660 from SSENSE »

The first thing I noticed is that the guy modeling this lightning bolt button-up from Neil Barrett looks like a Ken doll, and I was disappointed because the shirt might be the closest we'll ever get to a work-appropriate...

Princess Leia Slave Tank Top

Sold Out from Amazon »

Get in the spirit of summer festivals and San Diego Comic-Con without spending a fortune. Or dropping trou. Here the iconic Princess Leia slave costume gets a more modest tank top treatment. Flesh-colored torso, bikini-clad...

Dope Swimsuit

I suppose the Dope Swimsuit describes how the women wearing it look and feel, as well as what the men who see these women act like they have been smoking. A jet black one-piece with "Dope" spelled in hip cursive just...

Darth Vader Bathrobe

$49.99 from Amazon »

I decided to spotlight the Darth Vader bathrobe because this morning I got an email from someone named Anastasia Kryzinski entitled, "What Does Your Love Python Need?" I thought it was the best email I ever received...

Galaxy Purple Leggings

Otherworldly neon suction cups for the legs! Artist James Lillis took a NASA photo of an actual galaxy, and transposed it onto tongue-waggingly tight leggings in purples and blues so riveting anyone who gazes upon them...

Voltron Hoodie

$160 from 80stees.com »

By the power of Greyskull! No, wait, that's not it. It's Morphin time! Uh...getting closer, but...no. Hold on...ah, here we go. These robotic lion fangs were impeding the movement of my cerebral neurons. Activate interlock!...

Wet/Dry Magic Pattern Shorts

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

Star Wars Comics Dress

$89.99 from Etsy »

Aaahhh! Sensory overload! Star Wars, comic books, low cut, short skirt, hot girl...too many pleasing stimuli for my sensitive male ecosystem to process. Now this is a New Year's Eve dress if I've ever seen one....

Decorated Nerd T-Shirt

$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm...

Reversible Disco Hoodie

$125 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand, which also gave life to the Dress Pants Sweatpants, now sets its sights on helping you to, I quote, "make a nuclear-fueled spectacle of yourself" with its Reversible Disco Hoodie. Black cotton business on the...

Reversible Smoking Jackets

$225 from Beta Brand »

I don't usually smoke, but when I do, I also like to dress up like a Red Dragon, wear a monocle--in both eyes--and sip whiskey out of my Swig & Puff Flask. I also like when the dragon costume is subtle enough to wear...

Sriracha Boxer Briefs

$18.99 from The Oatmeal Shop »

For those who claim to put Sriracha on everything, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Introduce the rooster to the family jewels. Acquaint your two favorite hot cocks. Sriracha Boxer Briefs burn along backsides...

Ledge Stretchy, Stainproof Pants

$179 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console...

Mogwai Swimsuit

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS...

Lord of the Rings Underwear

$13.50 from Etsy »

Balrogs and horndogs beware! These gold-emblazoned ladies' hot shorts guard the Secret Fire and they will not avail your advances! Undies are American Apparel brand, and come in S, M & L. Check out the size guide photo...

Roland TR-909 Swimsuit

$98 from Etsy »

Using the Roland TR-909 Rhythm Composer as their inspiration, The Puss Puss puts puts (gotta love the low-hanging fruit) its own spin on musically-themed swimwear with the PP-909 ladies' swimsuit. Knob, key, and button...

First Contact Sucks Leggings

They call the leggings First Contact Sucks because some are of the opinion that Meeting other intelligent life forms for the first time could probably have gone a little better. What, better than KRA-KOOOOM!? But I love...

Yoda Hoodie

Sold Out from Etsy »

Hand-sewn Yoda heads atop plush tan sweatshirts we will wear. Those of us who carry the Force will anyway. And with the Yoda Hoodies' slouchy front pockets, we'll even have a place to stuff it for safekeeping. Erin Maynard...

Beer Koozie Shorts

$36.95 from BeerShorts »

Cold beers, cold thighs, elastic waist to accommodate the intake of fried things with your Buds and Coors, what more could you ask for in a pair of shorts? Beershorts' pair of built-in koozies not only eliminate the tedious...

Nintendo Gameboy Dress

$74 from Etsy »

Finally. A way to combine your one true love and the girl you're currently boning. This handmade, handcrafted dress will surely lead to a handjob if you're smart enough to buy one for your girl....

Skeleton Maternity Shirt

$29.99 from Etsy »

Had I an oven in which to grow a bun, definitely a Skeleton Baby T-Shirt would be my preferred method of announcing it to the world. I wonder if wearing it would deter the nosy old hens who feel up preggo women's bellies...