Clothing

vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

AyeGear 13-Pocket Hoodie

$99 from Amazon »

A hoodie with 13 internal pockets that won't add discomfort or make you look like Pillsbury's new Hipster Doughboy when you fill them? AyeGear's H13 should be welcome news for tech and gear heads who can't leave home...

Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

I Am Chewie Hoodie

$60 from We Love Fine »

Holy crap, Rheurrrrrr Glglglglg Rararararara, and Hubba, hubba! It's the furriest, frilliest Chewbacca hoodie yet, modeled by the furriest, hottest Wookiee fan yet. I Am Chewie certainly isn't the first attempt to bring...

Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

Anatomical Leggings

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off...

Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

Vagisoft Clothing

$68 - $108 from Beta Brand »

I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But...

Star Wars Schematics Hawaiian Shirt

$43.31 - $47.95 from Amazon »

As entities, Hawaii and Star Wars seem pretty discordant to me. Beach with palm trees and umbrella drinks meets outer space and black-plastic-composite-clad Darth Vader? Compatibility: <5%. But take a Hawaiian shirt...

Fundies: Underwear Built for Two

$8 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem...

Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie

Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

Litographs - Entire Books on T-Shirts

$34 from Litographs »

Litographs guarantees they will sell you the best book you've ever worn. Each of their T-shirts features an artistic interpretation of classic book titles shaped using the text of the book itself. As in the actual words--every...

Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear

$38.50 - $44.90 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

The Batman Collection

$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...

Suitsy Business Suit Onesie

$264.60 from Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

Dakine BC Utility Vest

Sold Out from Amazon »

I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them...

Rogue From X-Men Costume

$675 from Etsy »

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

Nerds with Vaginas Underwear

$15 from Etsy »

Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...

Casual Strains Cannabis Strain T-Shirts

Casual Strain's line of T-shirts aren't made of hemp and they don't contain built-in smoking apparatuses. And thanks be to God Bob, Willie, Woody, and Snoop Dogg for that. What they do contribute to the world are some...

Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

Up - The Don't Slouch T-Shirt

$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and...

Middle Earth Map Leggings

$6.91 from Amazon »

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing...

Captain America Winter Soldier Jacket

$179 - $229 from Film Jackets »

While the Captain America Winter Soldier leather jacket doesn't exactly have the same presence as the Captain America motorcycle suit, in a way it's a much more practical investment because A) it's way cheaper, and B)...

Latex Bat Underwear

$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...

The Game of Thrones Collection

$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields...

The Quarter Century 25-Year-Guarantee Pants

$85 from Kickstarter »

Quarter Century pants are just like every other pair of pants you own, except you'll still be wearing Quarter Centuries long after every other pair of pants you own has been relegated to: weekends only; the back of the...

Muscle-Enhancing Shirt

$48.50 from FunkyBod »

Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions...

The Space Jacket

$265.50 from Beta Brand »

Seems like this Space Jacket might be better suited for the 1960s when going to space was, like, a big deal. But I guess Elon Musk has made things interesting again with his sports car-style rockets so maybe there's still...

Iron Man Hoodie

$450 from Etsy »

This Iron Man crime-fighting-armor-turned-loungewear combines the Avenger's Mark VII and Mark VIII suits. Its chest and shoulders draw from the former, while the elbows and abdomen take after the latter. Awww, it's like...

MyPakage Keyhole Comfort Underwear

$24.99 - $30.99 from Amazon »

While a keyhole connotes something very small into which one inserts something else very small...and then, uh, forcefully twists it 360 degrees clockwise or counterclockwise...I assure you that MyPakage underwear's KeyHole...

Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie

$109 from Amazon »

Life has been very difficult for some since the Mark Ecko reversible Chewbacca hoodie sold out. It was pretty much the Star Wars garment to end all Star Wars garments. But I like this new alternative alright too. Maybe...

Medieval Knight Hoodie

$228 from Etsy »

See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks...

Pixel Panties

$27.50 from Pixel Panties »

When I saw these Pixel Panties I felt like I walked into a Super Mario Bros. mushroom. Drrring Drrring DRRRRRRING! From little Mario to big Mario in 1 second flat. In addition, the 8-bit underwear's Portuguese designers...

Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater

Sold Out from Amazon »

Listen. The only reason I'm showing you a barfing reindeer ugly Christmas sweater on November 6th is that when I waited for another month to show it to you last year it sold out before I had the opportunity. So just swap...

SOS Boxer Briefs with Condom Pocket

Nothing tells your date, I was pretty sure I'd get lucky tonight, like a sexy pair of boxer briefs. With a built-in condom pocket. Hidden with great metaphor behind a lifesaver stitched to the right thigh. Ah, the only...

Mass Effect Clothing

$78 - $92 from Black Milk Clothing »

I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...

Skirt Length Sluttiness Stockings

While these may not be the definitive measurement for exactly how a lady is feeling, they're certainly guaranteed to provoke some interesting conversation. From "demure" to "dangerous" the Leg's Talk stockings provide...

OppoSuits

$99.95 - $109.95 from Amazon »

Why settle for becoming a walking eyesore from just the waist up? Sweaters now have some competition for the World's Tackiest title, courtesy of tailored male fashion. OppoSuits are...did you figure it out?...the opposite...

Top Gun Onesie

$229 from OnePiece »

Take my breath away is right. This Top Gun jumpsuit does it in the comfort of 100% French terry cotton too. So soft, according to maker OnePiece, I won't even know it's there. And really, how long will it be there once...

Ladies' Superhero Rompers

$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

These caped superhero rompers for ladies look like pajamas, comfy Halloween costumes, and instant pants snake charmers all rolled into one. Another trifecta the onesies manage to nail:...

Butt Reveal Underwear

Did you really think the people who brought you Jean Shorts Underwear couldn't trump themselves? Japan Trend Shop's Shiridashi Butt Reveal Underwear appear to be 3 baffling things:...

Bulletproof Polo Shirt

$3,475 from Fresh Polos »

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country...

Lace Skull & Crossbones Pants

$218 from Amazon »

Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I...

SilverAir Anti-Odor Performance Clothing

$16 - $64 from Y Athletics »

Y Athletics weaves pure silver into the fabrics of their SilverAir line of performance gear to form an ionic shield against odor. They say the result is not only effective, but designed to fight odor naturally throughout...

Animated Ugly Christmas Sweaters

$54.95 - $64.95 from Amazon »

I see your ugly Shhh!-ing Santa Christmas sweater, and raise you an ugly Shhh!-ing Santa Christmas sweater with animated eyes bouncing lecherously to and fro as if he were watching a naked lady elf tossing relay and entreating...

Jean Shorts Underwear

Nothing I could say would contribute any more to your perception of these jean shorts underwear than the pictured model with the girly figure and manly package. From that you can take away: 1) They're denim boxer briefs...

Intelliskin PostureCue Clothing

$80 - $130 from Amazon »

If your spine is headed toward Quasimodo-dom, but you don't want to shell out international shipping--or up to twice the base price in cash--for an Up Shirt, Intelliskin's line of shirts, tanks, tees, and sports bras...

Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

$19 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...

Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket

$64.99 from Amazon »

Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but...

Ugly Christmas Swimsuit

I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...

Stealth Wear - Counter Surveillance Clothing

Privacy crusader Adam Harvey builds off of his last experiment with fashion as a means of confidentiality, CV Dazzle, with a new line of counter surveillance clothing termed Stealth Wear. While the CV Dazzle system focused...

TDU Rapid Assault Shirt

$56.48 - $90.57 from Amazon »

5.11's TDU shirt gets Rapid Assault designation because the company says it's the ultimate upper wear for tactical use and battle. A fast-drying, lightweight poly/cotton/spandex knit comprises the body's fabric to wick...

Hairy Chest Sweater

$61.34 from Firebox.com »

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft...

Nanotech Storm Suit

$499 - $629 from Indochino »

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you...

Mass Effect N7 Leather Jacket

$475 from BioWare »

You can now have Commander Shepard's N7 leather jacket in 100% Italian lambskin, modeled after the European racing style, and manufactured for BioWare by the same company that makes leather coats for Ferrari. That is...

SILIC Self-Cleaning Shirt

$48 from SILIC »

Hydrophobic. Seems like it would mean afraid of water, doesn't it? Well it does. But in this case, the hydrophobia is a good thing, not a buzzkill like it is when someone invites me and my friend Cornelius to go windsurfing...

Griz Coat

$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking...

Little Mermaid Ariel Costume

Discontinued

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit...

World's Tackiest Sweaters

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of...

Cuts of Meat Dress

$62 from Etsy »

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so...

Nightwing Hoodie

$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both...