While a keyhole connotes something very small into which one inserts something else very small...and then, uh, forcefully twists it 360 degrees clockwise or counterclockwise...I assure you that MyPakage underwear's KeyHole Comfort attribute more...

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with glowing fluorescent more...

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off your entire gluteal more...

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem tighty whiteys, more...

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft of the most more...

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing that more...

Nothing I could say would contribute any more to your perception of these jean shorts underwear than the pictured model with the girly figure and manly package. From that you can take away: 1) They're denim boxer briefs, 2) They're more...

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and in a glossy more...

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you are going to more...

Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I might go into more...

See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks to HBO's condensing more...

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag of tricks. more...

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking like the coolest, more...

While these may not be the definitive measurement for exactly how a lady is feeling, they're certainly guaranteed to provoke some interesting conversation. From "demure" to "dangerous" the Leg's Talk stockings provide a handy indicator more...

Woodpecker Laboratories is kind of like a cool, former-hippie uncle that gives great advice and provides invaluable tools for maneuvering oneself through life. First they came out with this friendly reminder decal that affixes to the more...

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked warrior's face more...

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting, Stop. Electroluminescent more...

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star Wars worship, more...

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send him some gorilla more...