Clothing

Pac-Man Suit

$99.98 from Amazon »

All the Ms. Pacs out there will melt in your arms when they get a look at your new arcade on a suit. OppoSuits, known for their quirky twists on classic menswear, has put Pac-Man to fabric and sewn him into a 3-piece....

Together Wear Hugging Hoodie

$69 - $139 from Together Wear »

It was our early experiences with winter that first taught us about hugging a loved one to stay warm, and our early experiences with 80s denim that first taught us about sticking a hand in a loved one's back pocket to...

Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie

$318 from Vollebak »

Built-in nap protocol: score. Hydrophobic and water-repellent: score. Windproof: score. Cozy and insulated: score. The Baker Miller Hoodie scores a lot of points for being slick and functional. But how many does it lose...

Ascot T-Shirt

$30 from Ascot T-Shirt »

"I have a poem I'd like to read--Spalding, get your foot off the boat!" Whether you're re-enacting Judge Smails' christening of The Flying WASP or just looking for a garment that will garner you some extra attention from...

Mr. Lover Suit

$74.42 - $137.99 from Amazon »

I was thinking my girlfriend might find a V-Day Mr. Lover suit sexy. A grand gesture the equivalent of male lingerie. What do you think? Too much? Should I just send her a dick pic instead?...

Phone-Cleaning Microfiber T-Shirts

$18 - $22 from Etsy »

Those microfiber cloth squares they give you with your phones and tablets to clean the screens? Or your glasses and sunglasses to polish the lenses? I usually accidentally throw mine away with the box. Or forget them....

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ThermalTech Solar-Powered Jackets

$139 - $189 from ThermalTech »

If the sun can power our chargers and flashlights, why not our winter coats and jackets? We've already been using batteries and electrical cords to help us stay warm in frigid temperatures for years. I remember my mama...

Star Wars Sith Lord Parka

$249.99 from Amazon »

How does a Dark Lord of the Sith stay warm and dry in the winter without sacrificing his menacing appearance? He calls musterbrand (who then calls a bunch of attorneys for licensing approval). Taking design inspiration...

Show Me Your Kitty Panties

$10.90 from Etsy »

Cats hide in the darndest of places, don't they? Etsy shop owner Elena prints adorable images of kitties onto semi-sexy pairs of underwear to create the overall awesome effect of the literal cuddly creature ladies obsess...

Golden Girls Granny Panties

Discontinued

Welp, they couldn't really put The Cosby Show on them, now could they? Candice Pugh of Etsy shop Bullets and Bees has made this homage to everyone's favorite old ladies living the retired life in Florida, The Golden Girls....

Star Wars Ugly Christmas Sweaters

$29.99 - $64.95 from Amazon »

If Star Wars is on the Ugly Christmas Sweater scene now, I think we need to remove the "Ugly" modifier from the term. How about Star Wars Galactically Awesome Christmas Sweaters instead? Particularly the one spotlighting...

Maqoo Cooling Underwear

$35 - $40 from Maqoo »

They're not quite as...vented...as a pair of Manties, but Maqoo still believes their new linen blend of underwear will be the coolest your boys will ever cradle. At least from a degrees Fahrenheit point of view. Aesthetically...

Manties Men's Lace Boxers

$31.19 from Firebox.com »

Last month this a-hole at my office left a box of Edible Anus chocolates on my desk with a note that said, "I saw these and thought of your face." Now everyone at work calls me Buttmuncher. Like we're 12! So for next...

Underlit LED Smart Skirt

By: Imgur »

Smart skirt is right. This glorious parade of LED underlighting has smartness coming out of its a-...yeah, you know. Literally. The Bluetooth-controlled strip of lights lining the inside of the skirt pairs with an Android...

Samuel Adams Onesie

$95 from Shinesty »

I like the onesie, but if I have to make that bro face while wearing it, I'm out, Sam Adams. Also not really down with the full-frontal-zip look. Not only because of the whole suffocation thing, but also because it makes...

Sirius the White Knight Hoodie

$299 from Etsy »

Medieval knight hoodies aren't new, but when I saw this white version, coined Sirius, The White Knight, I knew it would be the perfect addition to my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power's and my bedroom activities....

Dragon Ball T-Shirts & Rashguards

$35 - $45 from Justsaiyan »

Lookin' for Dragon Balls? Look the part with Justsaiyan's DBZ T-shirts and SkinZ. The fitted tees and water-ready rashguards are covered from neckline to waistline in pure, unbridled, anime-tastic DBZ art. Go hero or...

The Little Mermaid Ariel Bikini

$49 from Amazon »

If any lady wearing this Ariel bikini wants to be part of our world, I think I speak for most dudes when I say, Come on in! The seashell swim top and sexily-scaled mermaid bottoms are instantly recognizable as nods to...

Mewgaroo Pet Pocket Hoodie

$62 - $147.64 from Amazon »

Although Mewgaroo maker UniHabitat's website is plagued with the most jacked up English translation of Japanese I've ever seen from Google, I don't think this lack of a single coherent sentence describing the Mewgaroo...

Watermelon Swimsuit

$43 from Batoko »

Oh goodness! I seem to have walked right into a watermelon! It feels so wet and squishy and...gooooood. The fruit of the summer becomes the suit of the summer with Batoko's jaunty watermelon one-piece. No word on whether...

AyeGear 13-Pocket Hoodie

$99 from Amazon »

A hoodie with 13 internal pockets that won't add discomfort or make you look like Pillsbury's new Hipster Doughboy when you fill them? AyeGear's H13 should be welcome news for tech and gear heads who can't leave home...

I Am Chewie Hoodie

$60 from We Love Fine »

Holy crap, Rheurrrrrr Glglglglg Rararararara, and Hubba, hubba! It's the furriest, frilliest Chewbacca hoodie yet, modeled by the furriest, hottest Wookiee fan yet. I Am Chewie certainly isn't the first attempt to bring...

Casual Strains Cannabis Strain T-Shirts

Casual Strain's line of T-shirts aren't made of hemp and they don't contain built-in smoking apparatuses. And thanks be to God Bob, Willie, Woody, and Snoop Dogg for that. What they do contribute to the world are some...

Star Wars Schematics Hawaiian Shirt

$43.31 - $47.95 from Amazon »

As entities, Hawaii and Star Wars seem pretty discordant to me. Beach with palm trees and umbrella drinks meets outer space and black-plastic-composite-clad Darth Vader? Compatibility: <5%. But take a Hawaiian shirt...

Litographs - Entire Books on T-Shirts

$34 from Litographs »

Litographs guarantees they will sell you the best book you've ever worn. Each of their T-shirts features an artistic interpretation of classic book titles shaped using the text of the book itself. As in the actual words--every...

SilverAir Anti-Odor Performance Clothing

$16 - $64 from Y Athletics »

Y Athletics weaves pure silver into the fabrics of their SilverAir line of performance gear to form an ionic shield against odor. They say the result is not only effective, but designed to fight odor naturally throughout...

SOS Boxer Briefs with Condom Pocket

Nothing tells your date, I was pretty sure I'd get lucky tonight, like a sexy pair of boxer briefs. With a built-in condom pocket. Hidden with great metaphor behind a lifesaver stitched to the right thigh. Ah, the only...

Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...

vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

The Quarter Century 25-Year-Guarantee Pants

$85 from Kickstarter »

Quarter Century pants are just like every other pair of pants you own, except you'll still be wearing Quarter Centuries long after every other pair of pants you own has been relegated to: weekends only; the back of the...

The Space Jacket

$265.50 from Beta Brand »

Seems like this Space Jacket might be better suited for the 1960s when going to space was, like, a big deal. But I guess Elon Musk has made things interesting again with his sports car-style rockets so maybe there's still...

Vagisoft Clothing

$68 - $108 from Beta Brand »

I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But...

Suitsy Business Suit Onesie

$264.60 from Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

Ugly Christmas Swimsuit

I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...

Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

Dakine BC Utility Vest

Sold Out from Amazon »

I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them...

Alien Nativity Ugly Christmas Sweater

$79.99 from Middle of Beyond »

Check out the jazz hands on the Alien Baby Jesus. Dropped fresh from the Virgin Mothership, he's not so much here to save us as he is to perform a lively and festive dance number alongside the Little Green Herald Angels....

Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater

$29.99 from Amazon »

Listen. The only reason I'm showing you a barfing reindeer ugly Christmas sweater on November 6th is that when I waited for another month to show it to you last year it sold out before I had the opportunity. So just swap...

TDU Rapid Assault Shirt

$56.48 - $90.57 from Amazon »

5.11's TDU shirt gets Rapid Assault designation because the company says it's the ultimate upper wear for tactical use and battle. A fast-drying, lightweight poly/cotton/spandex knit comprises the body's fabric to wick...

Ladies' Superhero Rompers

$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

These caped superhero rompers for ladies look like pajamas, comfy Halloween costumes, and instant pants snake charmers all rolled into one. Another trifecta the onesies manage to nail:...

OppoSuits

$99.95 - $109.95 from Amazon »

Why settle for becoming a walking eyesore from just the waist up? Sweaters now have some competition for the World's Tackiest title, courtesy of tailored male fashion. OppoSuits are...did you figure it out?...the opposite...

Flame Smart Heated Base Layer

$135 from indiegogo »

In cities with bitter winters, it seems like it's always one extreme or the other: not enough clothing and you're colder than a well digger's asshole; or too many layers and you're walking around in -2 degrees sweating...

Top Gun Onesie

$229 from OnePiece »

Take my breath away is right. This Top Gun jumpsuit does it in the comfort of 100% French terry cotton too. So soft, according to maker OnePiece, I won't even know it's there. And really, how long will it be there once...

Pixel Panties

$27.50 from Pixel Panties »

When I saw these Pixel Panties I felt like I walked into a Super Mario Bros. mushroom. Drrring Drrring DRRRRRRING! From little Mario to big Mario in 1 second flat. In addition, the 8-bit underwear's Portuguese designers...

Sushi Socks

$5.39 - $28.99 from Otakumode »

They're sushi socks going on anyway. Probably more like kusaya socks coming off. Mmmm, take a whiff of that, Cornelius. All the wasabi and pickled ginger in the world isn't going to cover up the scent of me and my fuchsia...

Lightning Bolt Button-Up Shirt

$660 from SSENSE »

The first thing I noticed is that the guy modeling this lightning bolt button-up from Neil Barrett looks like a Ken doll, and I was disappointed because the shirt might be the closest we'll ever get to a work-appropriate...