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Saturday, May 11, 2013
Latex Bat Underwear
$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile version of more...

Tuesday, May 14, 2013
MyPakage Keyhole Comfort Underwear
$25 - $30 from MyPakage »

While a keyhole connotes something very small into which one inserts something else very small...and then, uh, forcefully twists it 360 degrees clockwise or counterclockwise...I assure you that MyPakage underwear's KeyHole Comfort attribute more...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Stash Waterproof Pocket Shorts
$69 - $79 from Kickstarter »

Sometimes people do stupid shit, such as get extremely drunk and ornery on the 4th of July and refuse to respond to reason and jump off the deck of a Carver 54 motor yacht...twice...without taking their brand new iPhones out of their pocket. While these people typically need more types of help than Stash shorts can provide, the generously-sized waterproof pouch sewn into the garment's right leg more...

Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sexy TRON Outfit
Sold Out from Etsy »

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with glowing fluorescent more...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie
Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by. more...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Middle Earth Map Leggings

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing to recruit ladies' legs as a mapping medium for Tolkien's famed continent. The Middle-earth leggings will guide wearers on quests to The Hobbiton, Comic-Con, and the very epicenter more...

Thursday, February 09, 2012
Anatomical Leggings

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off your entire gluteal more...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
Fundies: Underwear Built for Two
$9.33 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem tighty whiteys, more...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Arkham Harley Quinn Costume
Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood seem so one note more...

Sunday, April 07, 2013
Hairy Chest Sweater
$61.34 from Firebox.com »

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft of the most more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Monday, April 29, 2013
Wool & Prince Hardly-Ever-Wash-Me Shirt
$98 from Kickstarter »

Do you know how many men in the Pacific Northwest are going to go apeshit when they find out about a wool shirt that will stay wrinkle- and odor-free for 100 days straight...without washing, ironing, or dry cleaning it? All of them. more...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Jean Shorts Underwear

Nothing I could say would contribute any more to your perception of these jean shorts underwear than the pictured model with the girly figure and manly package. From that you can take away: 1) They're denim boxer briefs, 2) They're more...

Monday, January 21, 2013
Stealth Wear - Counter Surveillance Clothing

Privacy crusader Adam Harvey builds off of his last experiment with fashion as a means of confidentiality, CV Dazzle, with a new line of counter surveillance clothing termed Stealth Wear. While the CV Dazzle system focused on natural more...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Rogue From X-Men Costume
Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and in a glossy more...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Nanotech Storm Suit
$499 - $629 from Indochino »

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you are going to more...

Sunday, December 02, 2012
Lace Skull & Crossbones Pants
Sold Out from Amazon »

Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I might go into more...

Monday, April 29, 2013
Laser Space Cats Leggings
$58.95 from Lovelysally »

Laser Cats has finally made the leap from SNL short to Italian women's fashion. Sans copyright infringement given that these leggings' cats shoot lasers from their eyes instead of their mouths, and appear to be permanently marked for more...

Sunday, September 09, 2012
Medieval Knight Hoodie
$218 from Etsy »

See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks to HBO's condensing more...

Thursday, December 06, 2012
Yay Cleavage T-Shirt
$19 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended for she who is more...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
Drinkmaster Hoodie
$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag of tricks. more...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Griz Coat
$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking like the coolest, more...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
World's Tackiest Sweaters

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of smoke; nebula.... more...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Skirt Length Sluttiness Stockings

While these may not be the definitive measurement for exactly how a lady is feeling, they're certainly guaranteed to provoke some interesting conversation. From "demure" to "dangerous" the Leg's Talk stockings provide a handy indicator more...

Saturday, September 22, 2012
Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket
$320 from Volante Design »

Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but really all I more...

Sunday, December 30, 2012
Ninja Flip T-Shirt
$16.99 - $20.99 from Amazon »

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked warrior's face more...

Monday, May 06, 2013
Cheat Feet Socks

Woodpecker Laboratories is kind of like a cool, former-hippie uncle that gives great advice and provides invaluable tools for maneuvering oneself through life. First they came out with this friendly reminder decal that affixes to the more...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
Electric Hoodies
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting, Stop. Electroluminescent more...

Monday, January 30, 2012
Bulletproof Polo Shirt
$3,475 from Fresh Polos »

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country club, this polo more...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
Decorated Nerd T-Shirt
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star Wars worship, more...

Friday, November 30, 2012
Harvard Law...Just Kidding Sweatshirt
$43.99 from Skreened »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send him some gorilla more...

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