159

Nanotech Storm Suit

By: on January 23, 2013
$499 - $629
Check It Out

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you are going to continue reading please note that, for better or worse, the Nanotech Storm Suit bears no resemblance or relation to anything from Star Wars. Rather, this sharp assemblage of rat-race-routing threads earns its title from three major components that render it superior to similar business attire by Bill Blass, Hugo Boss, and your birthday.

One. The Smart Pocket. A touch-responsive smartphone cradle is sewn into the interior left flap of the Storm Suit's jacket. Waterproof and dry-clean friendly, the pocket also has a metal earphone cable clip and rubber earphone hole to keep cell accoutrements organized, untangled, and out of the hands you'll need for shaking on multi-million dollar deals.

Two. The Storm Flap. A navy, light blue, or orange...I don't want to call it a bib because that sounds lame, and I kind of have a decidedly un-lame, Bond-type vibe going for the Storm Suit here, but...it's a damn bib. More specifically, it's a detachable, duck-down-filled, not altogether bad-looking bib that slides and buttons underneath the jacket to insulate natural body heat and keep winds and cold temperatures from pummeling you in the chest and neck.

Three. Nanotech Radness. Natural and test tube fabrics unite to put the "Nanotech" in our Storm Suit. The jacket and pants repel liquids and stains (pretty darn well, if the above video is to be believed), as well as resist odors* and wrinkles without compromising breathability, comfort, or sharp dressed man aesthetics.

*PS: I flew to DC over the weekend, and I swear to every BBQ baked bean I've ever eaten in my life that someone in my vicinity was unleashing the most suffocatingly vile, wet farts over the course of the entire 4-1/2-hour flight. Now I'm sure we've all had some bad gas in our day, but I don't think I've experienced toxic bio-fumes that heinous lasting for that long in my 3+ decades on this earth. Every time another sulfuric bullet would shoot its venom into my olfactory canals I would think, OK, this has got to be it. And then, 8 to 12 minutes later...the GI tract from hell somehow replenished, reloaded, and re-flippin'-fired. The breath of Satan could not smell any worse than the ass I traveled across the country with last Friday afternoon. Man, I wish I'd had a Storm Suit on that airplane. My head would have been driven so deep into one of its Nanotech odor-resistant sleeves the first person able to pull me out would have become King of England.

Check it out

Conor McGregor F*ck You Pinstripe Suit

$6,500 from David August »

I don't know how long the rest of the world will remember the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather fight after it's over, but anyone who drops $6,500 on a David August Fuck You pinstripe suit like the one McGregor wore...

Check it out

DC & Marvel Comics Suits

$169.99 - $349.99 from Fun.com Suits »

Holy Marvel of Washington DC, Batman! They made a suit out of you! As teased in a preview a couple weeks ago, Fun.com is releasing a line of men's (funny / monkey?) business suits in tribute to your favorite superheroes...

Buy Now

Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie

Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

Check it out

Hero Within Coats

$99 - $249 from Hero Within »

I told my gf I would agree to wear a man pea coat under one condition: it had to have a subtle and classy Bat symbol integrated into its cut and stitching across the back and shoulders. Then I smugly thought about how...

Check it out

Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

Check it out

Vollebak Solar Charged Jacket

$350 from Vollebak »

Vollebak's Solar Charged Jacket does for Slimer Green what the clothing startup's Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie did for Unicorn Pink: it takes a crazy cut from Roy G Biv, and gives it a highly functional application. Naptime's...

Check it out

Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

Buy Now

Torch Wearable Coat Heater

$58.90 from Amazon »

Torch, a universal, wearable coat heater invites you to get fired up, and take this year's winter storms by storm. Use the wraparound warmer to up your puffy coat's game, or trade the marshmallow-in-a-trash-bag look for...

Check it out

Suitsy Business Suit Onesie

$264.60 from Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

Buy Now

Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket

Sold Out from Amazon »

Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but...

Buy Now

Dakine BC Utility Vest

Sold Out from Amazon »

I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them...

Buy Now

Well Endowed Zentai Suit

$44.99 from Amazon »

I see your Little Green Man, and raise it one Huge Green Man. If you prefer Orange, Red, Yellow, Blue,, Purple, or Never-Go-Back Black, I have Zentai suits in all of those extra-tight, extra-long-schlong colors too. So...