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Mogwai Swimsuit

By: on October 28, 2013

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS CAN'T GET WET! I think anyone who buys this suit is tempting fate. At the very least they should be forced to sign an agreement promising not to go hot tubbing after midnight if there's any chance someone's going to get the munchies afterwards. The last thing we need in these troubled times is a bunch of gremlins bred from Hot Pockets and Bagel Bites to contend with.

Though on that note, one thing that would make the Mogwai swimsuit really badass is if cuddly, pouty-faced Gizmo turned into a snarling, razor-toothed gremlin shortly after the lady wearing him entered the water. Yeah, Black Milk Clothing, I know. It's genius. You can call me Rand Peltzer. I make fantastic ideas for a fantastic world. I make the illogical logical.

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I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...

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We've all done it. We've all badgered someone else for doing it. And really, song lyrics misheard, mistaken, and butchered are almost always more fun than what the artists are actually singing anyway....

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By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...

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What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent...

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Cosplay, Comic-Con, even the swimming pool. Yes, this handwoven chainmail bikini top is waterproof and primed for a summer of splashing, floating, and breaststroking medieval style. All that's missing is the sea serpent...