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Lightning Bolt Button-Up Shirt

By: on August 28, 2014
$660
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The first thing I noticed is that the guy modeling this lightning bolt button-up from Neil Barrett looks like a Ken doll, and I was disappointed because the shirt might be the closest we'll ever get to a work-appropriate superhero costume, and therefore should be presented by a man who spends his free time fighting evil, not getting manicures and facials. But then I remembered pretty boy superheroes like Robin and Captain America and Ryan Reynolds as the Green Lantern exist too and figured he probably is representative enough of the shirt's intent after all.

Also, Kevin Hart wore it recently, so...I don't know if that makes things better or worse.

Barrett's black and grey lightning bolt gives an otherwise simple white shirt for the office its own special shot of electricity. And if the Italian-made design isn't enough to jolt you, check out the price tag.

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ScorpionExo Covert Kevlar Flannel Shirt

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Kevlar flannel. It's why Kurt Cobain didn't die in a motorcycle crash. Nah. I don't know if Cobain even rode a bike. But if he did, ScorpionExo's Covert Flannel could have helped save his hide if he went down. The shirt...

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The JerkShirt (NSFW)

Now don't take NSFW the wrong way. The JerkShirt was indeed created primarily for the office (and secondarily for the dinner table). But I would caution against watching the video, illuminating as it may be, within eye-...

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Muscle-Enhancing Shirt

$48.50 from FunkyBod »

Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions...

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Bulletproof Polo Shirt

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country...

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Electrical Storm Dual USB Power Adapter

$19.99 from Amazon »

This is what my mama always told me would happen inside my body if I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet. It actually looks pretty cool. If she hadn't also told me it would fry my brains like a skillet of bacon and...

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Qore Performance Hydration Shirt

$143.91 - $179 from Amazon »

What I would like Qore's Hydration Shirt to do is osmosis water through my skin from tiny little reservoirs housed in its bicep, triceps, shoulders, and abs--sized and shaped to looked like the ripped results of my own...

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Cloud Light with Storm Effects

$1,800 from Richard Clarkson »

Richard Clarkson's profoundly-titled Cloud defies Mother Nature by hovering amidst indoor skies and venting its beastly thunder and lightning only when inclement weather jibes with your schedule. Such as when you are...

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Black Rhodium Jet Turbine Engine Cufflinks

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These Jet Turbine Engine Cufflinks, made of polished black rhodium, and ready to spin real fast when you blow on them, are the perfect last-minute gift for Dads! Well, as long as you're a son with a healthy income. Or...

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Short Sleeve Weighted Training Shirt

$249.99 from Amazon »

Here's a way to make yourself way less comfortable, but way more badass while working out. The TITIN Force is a complete weighted compression system all tucked into a short sleeve shirt. It utilizes a 3-part hyper gravity...

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Star Wars Schematics Hawaiian Shirt

$43.31 - $47.95 from Amazon »

As entities, Hawaii and Star Wars seem pretty discordant to me. Beach with palm trees and umbrella drinks meets outer space and black-plastic-composite-clad Darth Vader? Compatibility: <5%. But take a Hawaiian shirt...

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SILIC Self-Cleaning Shirt

Discontinued

Hydrophobic. Seems like it would mean afraid of water, doesn't it? Well it does. But in this case, the hydrophobia is a good thing, not a buzzkill like it is when someone invites me and my friend Cornelius to go windsurfing...

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Lightning Reaction Reloaded - A Shocking Game

$22.99 from Amazon »

Well I hope the Reloaded version of Lightning Reaction doesn't follow in the footsteps of The Matrix and suck. Or maybe it's being cheeky and willingly emulating the trilogy's second installment--in the sense that while...