Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag of tricks. Complementing its fashionable cotton composition, fully lined hood, and rad high-fiving monkey logo we have the following handy crack-'em-open and knock-'em-back accessories:
- A beer Koozie pocket.
- A bottle opener zipper.
- A built-in drinking glove with non-slip grip. [Until the Skuuzi, I wasn't aware there is an industry for beer gloves. Even now, I am not sure there's an industry for beer gloves. If they're to prevent bottles and cans from slipping, pour that shit in a glass. If they're to prevent hands from getting cold...man the F up, dudes.]
- A flask pocket.
- A snappable I.D. pocket [i.e., the Drinkmaster Hoodie pocket that will enjoy the most frequent use.]
- Reflective Pleepleus logos. [I guess Pleepleus is the monkey. At first reading, I was like, What the hell kind of name is Pleepleus? How do you pronounce such ancient Greek nonsense? How do you even get that many weird syllables out of your mouth without taking a breath? But then after giving it a couple internal test runs, as well as turning to the girl to my left at this fine Sunday morning coffee shop airing clips of Mike Ditka on SportsCenter and saying it 5 times fast with no accompanying explanation, Pleepleus is starting to grow on me. Pleeee-pleeee-usss. I think that's what I'll name my first born. Pleepleus, dinner's ready! Pleepleus, how's about we go out back and toss the around the pigskin? No, no, Pleepleus. You can't touch girls like that unless they give you permission.]