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Breaking Bad - Heisenberg Pinkman 2012

By: on February 26, 2012
$29.99
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Breaking Bad fans, your 2012 Election T-shirts are hot off the silk screener. No further explanation needed. Everyone else: yeah, yeah, so Heisenberg and Pinkman make meth. If you believe the conspiracy theorists, the CIA invented crack. And Marion Berry smoked it. We're still cool with them. Washington DC even forgave Berry his dalliances to the point of re-electing him mayor after a stint in prison. See, that's the beauty of America--anyone can become anything...and then totally F it up, and get another chance.

Plus, maybe Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, and a federally run meth industry are what America needs. A viable means of skyrocketing our sluggish economy that's overseen by entities with backgrounds in real scientific disciplines, such as chemistry, instead of of the pseudo-science of politics, which mostly teaches its followers how to schmooze, deflect, and bullshit. For once, let's vote for people who will take an approach to running this country that doesn't end with "into the ground." Visionaries with demonstrable skills and proven success. Resourceful capitalists who understand the monetary potential of legalizing hard drugs, and who are capable of creating them in their purest, most coveted form.

Heisenberg and Pinkman. Leaders who can elicit true progress. Or at least aid natural selection in its quest to knock off the losers, idiots, and low lifes who are inhibiting it.

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Auton Under-the-Bed TV Lifts

$7,595 - $13,895 from Auton »

What's that, She-Ra? No, nope, I wasn't watching TV in bed. Do you see a TV in here? Must have heard Legion blaring from another unit...hey, no! Don't...don't look under the bed!...

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Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt

I just...I can't...I...what the butt, Japan?! The Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt baffles me on so many levels. First, why is the butt positioned so that it's exploding out of the wearer's chest Alien-style? Why is it on...

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Walter White Hyperflesh Mask

$22,100 from Ebay »

Worn, signed, and sweated upon by Bryan Cranston himself. Also mingled in: the DNA of Jimmy Fallon and Common, whom the Breaking Bad star let take a turn in this Landon Meier Hyperflesh Walter White mask at Comic-Con...

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Up - The Don't Slouch T-Shirt

$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and...

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Luminoodle LED TV Backlight

$19.99 from Amazon »

If you've been using your noodle you've probably learned how valuable a bendy rope of lights can be. And now your flexible, adaptable, bright-burning noodle has a new form with yet another application: TV backlighting....

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Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

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AirWave Wireless OTA & OTT Device

$149.99 from Mohu »

Mohu first began catering to cable cutters with the Leaf, a paper-thin HD antenna that's black on one side, white on the other, and adheres close to invisibly to your wall or ceiling. In spring of 2017 they'll officially...

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Breaking Bad Methopoly

Discontinued

Joanne Silverman loves meth. Just kidding. She loves Breaking Bad. I mean, I guess she might love meth too, but probably not because if she did it is unlikely she would have the wherewithal to conceive and create this...

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Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

$21 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...

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Addams Family House

$2 million from Raine & Horne »

Correction: Sorry dudes, this is not the Addams Family set house, inside or out, but a real Australian home that has remained unchanged since its late 1800s construction, and looks like a creepy mansion shacking up an...

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Presidential Knife Fight: The Game

Let me just address 2 points about Presidential Knife Fight: The Game up front. 1) It's a card game, not some Mortal Kombat-Pokemon Go hybrid that lets you find and collect past American Presidents to duke it out with...

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Dragon Ball T-Shirts & Rashguards

$35 - $45 from Justsaiyan »

Lookin' for Dragon Balls? Look the part with Justsaiyan's DBZ T-shirts and SkinZ. The fitted tees and water-ready rashguards are covered from neckline to waistline in pure, unbridled, anime-tastic DBZ art. Go hero or...