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myLAB Box - At-Home STD Test Kits

By: on December 27, 2016
$79 - $285
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As the holiday season comes to an end, myLAB Box would like to invite you to explore just how merry yours was. Did Santa "slip" you any extra "gifts" this year? Did you enjoy one too many ho, ho, hos? The myLAB Box STD kits ship you the tools to collect your own fluid samples from home, the containers and postage to mail them in for testing, and the private, lab-certified results you seek just a few days later. At a cost no greater, and often times less, than a visit to your doctor's office.

myLAB Box STD screening kits are available with tests for the full gamut of STDs: chlamydia / gonorrhea; trichomoniasis; HIV; HPV; Herpes; Hep C; syphilis; and combinations thereof. They arrive in discreet, unmarked boxes. Collecting a sample of urine, genital / mouth swab, or prick of blood and packing it up to mail in (SASE provided) should take 5 minutes or less. When the lab has your results, you'll get an email with information for secure access.

Should you test positive for chlamydia, gonorrhea, or trich, myLAB Box will give you the option of having a complimentary phone consultation with an affiliated doctor. The physician may even be able to send a prescription for treatment to your pharmacy.

myLAB Box says their tests are as accurate as those done in a clinic, and the HIPAA web security protocols they follow ensure your data remains as private.

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$10 Million Human Regenerator for Anti-Aging

$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin...

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Motiv Ring - Fitness Tracker & Sleep Tracker

$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

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Infant Circumcision Trainer

$192 from Amazon »

Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...

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OtoSet Automatic Ear Cleaning Headset

By: SafKan »

I doubt SafKan made its OtoSet to be the Beats headphones of earwax removal systems. But since finishing the last episode of The Defiant Ones, Beats headphones are all I see when I look at the world's first automated...

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ShapeScale 3D Body Scanner

$299 - $499 from ShapeScale »

ShapeScale says its 3D body scanner and fitness tracker is "like a magic mirror that allows you to time travel. See your present and past self from any angle." Hmmm, "magic mirror," huh? Something tells me my relationship...

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YO Sperm Tester for Smartphones

$49.95 from YO »

They've had smartphone attachments that tell you whether or not you're sober enough to drive for years now, so it's only logical YO is coming out with one to tell you whether or not you're fertile enough to make babies....

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Diseases Caused by Masturbation

$8.99 from Amazon »

On the one hand, Diseases Caused by Masturbation is a translation of Dr. Samuel-Auguste Tissot's book originally written in French. So maybe the translator messed up and it's really called Diseases Caused by Exposure...

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The Knee Defender

$21.95 from Gadget Duck »

Ye of long legs, take note: though the Knee Defender can't increase the amount of space you have within your sphere of airplane seat misery, it can prevent further reduction of the already minimal square footage. Comprised...

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Naked 3D Fitness Scanner

$499 from Naked »

All you metric-driven, body-conscious visual learners out there, it's time to get Naked. And anyone else intrigued by the idea of using regular 3D body scans to track health and fitness, you might want to give this full-length...

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blk. - Black Bottled Water

$56.82 from Amazon »

We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...

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The Fat Magnet

$2.40 from Amazon »

I know a lot of fat magnets. I bet you do too. Most of them look more like an ass in need of a run around the block than a reimagined dreidel though. But this Fat Magnet, the dreidel kind, is actually here to help the...

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DoubleFlex Black Total Body Portable Gym

$124 - $176 from OYO Fitness »

Like me, DoubleFlex Black creators, OYO Fitness, always wondered how NASA astronauts stay fit on the International Space Station. (No word on whether or not they also, like me, wondered how the astronauts vote and poop.)...