Japanese Nose Straightener

By: on April 09, 2012

Taking a page from Apple's business model, the world of rhinoplasty has apparently determined that exorbitantly expensive nose jobs have been widely available for enough years now that it's time to do some price slashing. The 3-degree skew of the cartilage at the tip of your nose that you know wasn't there before you faceplanted off the top of the cheerleading pyramid? The saggy nostril inherited from your paternal grandmother (that joyless curmudgeon)? The proboscidean flatness resulting from texting and walking...into things...one too many times? What would have once cost $5,000 to remedy can now be straightened out, plumped up, and reinvigorated for a mere $60 with the Hana Tsun, Japan's own at-home nose straightener.

Though it looks like an instrument of torture right out of a Kafka story, the Hana Tsun clip purports to be a gentle, painless means of balancing and pushing up the bones and contours of the nose. Moreover, it need be worn only 20 minutes per day to metamorphose the wearer's profile from Witchy to Wowza.

Now let's go from $5,000 to $60 to $1,000,000. As in, here's the million-dollar question: do people actually buy these things? Do they believe a silicone and polypropylene device jammed up their nostrils for 20 minutes a day is going to reconfigure their face, and eliminate their nasal complex? Are the Japanese the grand masters of duping, or are they themselves just easily duped? Hmmm, if it's the latter, hey! Entrepreneurs of Japan! You, uh, wanna sell some carrot cigarettes and an AdrenaSuit for us?

Check it out

Attack on Titan Super Hard Blade iPhone Case

$38.30 from Strapya World »

It's always interesting when and which Japanese manga and anime cross over into mainstream Western culture. Here it's even more interesting that a piece of Japanese manga/anime has crossed over into real life. And even...

Check it out

F-Cup Cookies

F-Cup Cookies sound like they would be a joke, and they probably are, but for all women with concave chesticular regions and, more importantly, for all the men who have to fondle them, I sure as 2 seconds of motorboating...

Check it out

Kururin Japanese Desktop Toy

$12.99 from Kendama »

Tops, fidget spinners, and now the Japanese Kururin. Why is hand-eye coordination storming pop culture so hard right now? I have many gifts and endowments--huge ones!--but, as evidenced by my attempts to school my girlfriend...

Check it out

$10 Million Human Regenerator for Anti-Aging

$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin...

Buy Now

Iron Samurai Blue LED Watch

$7.90 from Amazon »

As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...

Buy Now

Handmade in Japan Higo no Kami Knife

$28.48 from Amazon »

Each of these Higo no Kami knives, traditional Japanese non-locking folding blades, are handmade and imported directly from Japan. And if you don't believe me, believe the superb English translation of their product description:...

Check it out

Mini Titanium Katana with Tritium Insert

$149 from Metal Worn »

Just as the Bride conquered O-Ren Ishii with a Hattori Hanzo katana, Metal Worn has conquered the ultimate gift for a geek with their Ti-Katana, a miniature titanium katana sword whose tsuka contains a tritium vial insert....

Buy Now

Kotatsu Heated Table

Sold Out from Amazon »

Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...

Check it out

Wiener Dog Earplugs

$11.50 from Koncent »

I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again....

Check it out

Air Bonsai Floating Tree

$200 - $230 from Hoshinchu »

If you take a look at this floating bonsai tree, it should be pretty clear what it is: a floating bonsai tree. We've even seen enough floating things around here to know that the Air Bonsai is able to levitate (and spin...

Buy Now

Ramen Hoodie

$18.99 - $22.99 from Amazon »

Eat it or wear it, that's what my grandma used to say. It was meant to be a threat, but now that I see this delightfully loud and obnoxious Ramen Hoodie, I think I would like to retroactively choose the latter. I'll wear...

Buy Now

Yosegi Japanese Puzzle Boxes

$23.95 - $263.49 from Amazon »

Yosegi Puzzle Boxes suggest that the best way to dissuade petty thieves and nosy family and co-workers is to make them think. Developed during the Edo Period (early 17th to mid 19th century), these Japanese stash holders...