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Sunday, August 4, 2013
By: Quirky

Due to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$29 - $69 from Kickstarter »

This one's for the ladies. I think. It's hard to keep track of who likes what anymore....

Saturday, March 22, 2014
$99.95 from Amazon »

The Combat Daddy Equipment diaper bag: no Skoda Man Pram is complete without one. Combat Daddy Equipment's Model 1 carry-all for fathers who drew the short straw and have to take their kids to the park...or stay at home and raise them...will at least make them look cool doing it. Or maybe it will make them look like complete tools. I have no idea. The keys to making a sensational piece of kitschy...

Friday, July 19, 2013
$79.99 from Cocoon »

Geez, here's a backpack that has as many fancy names associated with it as it does fancy pockets for holding gadgets. Organization brand Cocoon (that's #1) has released its SLIM (#2) tech backpack with MacBook Pro (#3) and...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$75 - $350 from Amazon »

Defense wins games. (Right, Peyton?) Defensive driving prevents accidents. Proof of self-defense averts jail time. And a Pelican crushproof barrier defending your laptop against fat Aunt Jan tripping over a strap of the backpack...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$180 from Etsy »

Imagine how much stuff you could cram inside a TARDIS backpack. A laptop, a tablet, and an entire XBox. Enough gear and clothing for a 2-week backpacking trip through Nepal. At least 4 cases of beer plus, like, 20 pounds of weed. Genius!...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$907 from Amazon »

What makes a duffel bag a beast? Bigness. Ruggedness. Resilience. What makes a duffel bag The Beast? According to Saddleback Leather, all of the above, plus a 100-year warranty (yes, that's one hundred), a mere 3 seams binding...

Saturday, October 26, 2013
$249 - $1,499 from Etsy »

Rich Bhata hand smiths all Sizzle Strapz bags in his St. Charles, IL shop from genuine cow hide and American buffalo. I've never felt the desire to lovingly stroke a cow or buffalo before--just devour them in ground and fillet...

Friday, November 15, 2013
$37.90 from Etsy »

Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we...

Monday, August 12, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

Ladies, I dare anyone to try to rip you off or cut up your credit cards or even look at you in a way you do not find pleasing when you're carrying one of these babies. From the butcher's block to the sewing machine, nothing...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, November 29, 2012
$152 from PrezzyBox »

At first I thought this was an actual washing machine/suitcase combo. Like for moms to tote around and use to instantly remove the spit-up and dirt and, in my case, Bloody Marys, from their kids' perpetually soiled clothes....

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Nope, they're not drawings, they're not Photoshopped, and they don't exist only in the realms of Cool World and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Cartoon Bags, by JumpFromPaper's dynamically creative, Taipei-based designers Chay Su...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
$199.95 from Amazon »

This Goose protects suits from wrinkles and creases, totes tablets, and staves off the rain. Provided you don't fall off your bike or back into something while walking and kill him too. The Henty Wingman, a heavy-duty tarpaulin...

Friday, July 22, 2011
$16.26 from Amazon »

These messenger bags are really getting out of hand. Do guys really have that much crap to carry around? I guess if you're a guy who has to carry around his sketch pad or idea book and an apple or some shit all day, this will...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$11.99 from Amazon »

I knew with a little help from the Internet it wouldn't take long to find an answer to my question of what am I going to do with all of the grenades I stockpiled in anticipation of the end of the world that did not happen....

Saturday, August 25, 2012
$39.95 from NeatoShop.com »

While I'll probably just use my Zombie Survival Kit Messenger Bag to carry, like, books and Funyuns, I'm hoping that when the actual Zombie Apocalypse hits, nests of walking dead that are considering chasing me down to eat...

Monday, July 16, 2012
$24.95 from NeatoShop.com »

Much to the agony of the kids who have to go back and the ecstasy of the parents who get to send them, it's time to start thinking about school. Painful for young'uns in every way, less their opportunity to rake in a bunch...

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