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Flayed Flesh GartersDue to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...
Geez, here's a backpack that has as many fancy names associated with it as it does fancy pockets for holding gadgets. Organization brand Cocoon (that's #1) has released its SLIM (#2) tech backpack with MacBook Pro (#3) and...
What makes a duffel bag a beast? Bigness. Ruggedness. Resilience. What makes a duffel bag The Beast? According to Saddleback Leather, all of the above, plus a 100-year warranty (yes, that's one hundred), a mere 3 seams binding 4 slabs of full-grain leather (no top grain or bonded hides here), pigskin lining, and room to transport large African bongo drums. I didn't even make that last bit up. Also...
Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we...
Rich Bhata hand smiths all Sizzle Strapz bags in his St. Charles, IL shop from genuine cow hide and American buffalo. I've never felt the desire to lovingly stroke a cow or buffalo before--just devour them in ground and fillet...
Ladies, I dare anyone to try to rip you off or cut up your credit cards or even look at you in a way you do not find pleasing when you're carrying one of these babies. From the butcher's block to the sewing machine, nothing complements a hot, wild-eyed chick with crushing grip strength better than a bloody cleaver purse. How fashionable and mentally unstable you'll look clasping the clutch handle...
At first I thought this was an actual washing machine/suitcase combo. Like for moms to tote around and use to instantly remove the spit-up and dirt and, in my case, Bloody Marys, from their kids' perpetually soiled clothes....
Nope, they're not drawings, they're not Photoshopped, and they don't exist only in the realms of Cool World and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Cartoon Bags, by JumpFromPaper's dynamically creative, Taipei-based designers Chay Su...
This Goose protects suits from wrinkles and creases, totes tablets, and staves off the rain. Provided you don't fall off your bike or back into something while walking and kill him too. The Henty Wingman, a heavy-duty tarpaulin...
These messenger bags are really getting out of hand. Do guys really have that much crap to carry around? I guess if you're a guy who has to carry around his sketch pad or idea book and an apple or some shit all day, this will...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
I knew with a little help from the Internet it wouldn't take long to find an answer to my question of what am I going to do with all of the grenades I stockpiled in anticipation of the end of the world that did not happen....
While I'll probably just use my Zombie Survival Kit Messenger Bag to carry, like, books and Funyuns, I'm hoping that when the actual Zombie Apocalypse hits, nests of walking dead that are considering chasing me down to eat...
Much to the agony of the kids who have to go back and the ecstasy of the parents who get to send them, it's time to start thinking about school. Painful for young'uns in every way, less their opportunity to rake in a bunch...
