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Zip Tie

By: on September 20, 2013
  • Zip Tie
  • Zip Tie

For anyone too hip, too lazy, or too caffeinated to tie a standard model, the Zip Tie provides an aesthetic and functional twist...or, rather, removal of the twist...on classic men's business wear. Slip your dome through 100% merino wool, give a yank up, and the nylon zipper secures seamlessly around your collar. The only downside is that any man who wears this tie may spend his entire day re-securing it after every wise guy he passes unzips it for some jollies. Then again, if I could get the a-holes I work with to start unzipping my tie instead of sneaking up behind me and stapling my ass, I would consider the possible byproduct an upside.

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Zip Blade Zipper Knife

$8.19 from Amazon »

This 0.68" fine edge utility blade has enough pluck to strip wire, cut cardboard, and slice through clamshell packaging. I bet it could even slash open the zipper it's hanging from when it gets stuck, like, every third...

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Unzipped Flesh Kit

$5.49 from Amazon »

One way to make others jump out of their skin is to jump out of yours. This Unzipped Flesh look requires some legwork and talent to pull off, but look at the striking levels of gruesomeness and morbidity one can achieve...

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Escape & Evasion Gun Belt

$79 from Amazon »

From forth the shark's belly comes a belt for your own. And while the Escape & Evasion Gun Belt didn't make it out of the Tank alive its creator, former CIA officer Jason Hanson, is still hoping you'll give the strip...

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Pac-Man Suit

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All the Ms. Pacs out there will melt in your arms when they get a look at your new arcade on a suit. OppoSuits, known for their quirky twists on classic menswear, has put Pac-Man to fabric and sewn him into a 3-piece....

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Batman v. Superman Wooden Bow Ties

$75 from Woodnax »

As Batman and Superman duke it out on the big screen for Best (and Most Smug) Superhero, you and your friend Cornelius can clip on a pair of WoodnAx Batman and Superman wooden bow ties and duke it out in real life for...

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Bev Tie Beer Koozie Tie

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The mountains of North Carolina know how to stay cool. I'm not sure if it's the Blue Ridge or the Smokys, but somewhere high above sea level, industrious minds in search of cold beer, free hands, and stylin' formalwear...

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Laser Pointer Tactical Necktie

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Does a necktie equipped with a laser pointer and MOLLE system take the current tactical fad a step too far? Yeah, but...I kind of want one, so...on second thought, definitely not. ThinkGeek's tactical tie is fitted with...

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The Pillow Tie

$19.95 from Pillow Tie »

Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for...

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Grifiti Big-Ass Bands

$8.98 - $17.98 from Amazon »

Big stretch. Big strength. Big colors. Grifiti makes it clear: go Big-Ass or go home. The company's Big-Ass Bands take the rubber band concept and then, uh, stretch it to fit so many more of your daily needs. The fat...

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Wooden Tie

Sold Out from Amazon »

Yes ma'am, my necktie is made of solid wood. And it just so happens it's pointing to something else that is made of solid wood, if you know what I mean. So why don't we--wait! Don't flip your hair and walk off in a huff!...

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Zipper LED Light & Bottle Opener

$13.08 from Amazon »

How about a zipper LED light and bottle opener to complement your zipper knife? One for the jacket zipper, the other for the hoodie zipper, and just like that, instant readiness to light the way back home, crack open...

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Chainmail Ties

$70 - $180 from Etsy »

Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle...