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The Boob Scarf

By: on December 12, 2011
  • The Boob Scarf
  • The Boob Scarf
  • The Boob Scarf
  • The Boob Scarf
  • The Boob Scarf
  • The Boob Scarf
$30
from
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Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing could be further from the truth. It's very possible. The boob scarf offers all of this and more! You can even choose the nipple color.

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Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...

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Big Book of Big Breasts 3D (NSFW)

$42.25 - $55.89 from Amazon »

I spent most of the day contemplating how I might discuss The Big Book of Breasts 3D with the great respect and deference I feel for it and its contents, but without sounding too dry, detached, or clinical. Unfortunately...

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F-Cup Cookies

F-Cup Cookies sound like they would be a joke, and they probably are, but for all women with concave chesticular regions and, more importantly, for all the men who have to fondle them, I sure as 2 seconds of motorboating...

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Color My Boobs Adult Coloring Book

$9.99 from Amazon »

Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically...

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Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...

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Book of Things Better Than Boobs

Sold Out from Amazon »

Part of me wants to tell you what's inside the Book of Things Better Than Boobs so you'll get why it's so brilliant, but part of me wants to let you find out for yourself so you'll experience why it's so brilliant. I...

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Boobs Ice Luge

$29.99 from Amazon »

And you always thought she was an icy bitch because you couldn't get to second base. The Boob Luge puts a positive spin on the cold reality of interacting with women. Also, just like in the good ol' days of infancy, it...

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Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

$21 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...

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The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions

$11.95 from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

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FNDN Heated Scarf

$129.95 from Amazon »

I think the day after New Year's should be summer. But since that never seems to happen, I guess being able to stay warm with the FNDN heated scarf until then is an OK consolation. Developed in Detroit, the FNDN ("foun-dey-shuh...

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Naked Lady Golf Tees

$3.67 from Amazon »

If you haven't already injected your Summer 2016 with some 1980s-era hilarity courtesy of the Butt Buoys or Floaty Pants, I have good nudes....

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Lightload Survival Tool Towels

$6.25 from Amazon »

Lightload claims theirs are the "only towels that are survival tools!" So like, for when you're on a third date with She-Ra: Princess of Power, and the waiter asks how spicy you want your Jungle Curry, and you say, "5...