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Water Misting Fan with Carabiner Clip

$8.27 from Amazon »

I filed this water misting fan under Style --> Accessories because even though the O2 Cool companion was primarily made to provide some quick and instant relief on a hot day, making it more of an Outdoors --> Tools...

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P'INCH Instant Ruler Pin

$7 from WKRMN »

P'INCH doesn't serve a thousand different functions. Or even a multi-tool standard 8 to 12. And really, it doesn't even do what it does do at great length. Literally, since P'INCH is a pin that's exactly 1 inch long....

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Screwpop Lighter Holder

$6.25 from Amazon »

Screwpop makes a whole series of "clipable" keychain (and zipper and belt loop) tools, but if the Lighter Holder fills its role in life as intended, I would deem it one of the simplest, yet most impressive feats of engineering...

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Gerber Money Clip with Blade

$34.99 from Amazon »

As a self defense money clip, Gerber's GDC Money Clip makes a little more sense than this one. Rather than requiring the carrier to remove his money to use it, the GDC sidekick has a 1.75" fine edge stainless steel blade...

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Recycled Fire Hose Wallets & Cases

$12 - $79 from Recycled Firefighter »

As a firefighter who regularly depends on the material's ruggedness and durability, Jake Starr has always known that canvas fire hose can stand up to extreme temperatures, water pressures, and beatings. So he figured...

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Belt Scooter

In describing his Belt Scooter, Hungarian student Adam Torok talks about humans' physical need to move around, the invention of the combustion engine, the independence of owning a car, and some mumbo jumbo pertaining...

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Fou Lard Bacon Scarf

$175.50 from Natalie Luder »

100% silk Crepe de Chine for the fingers, 100% thin-sliced Mangalitsa pork belly for the eyes. Natalie Luder's Fou Lard is a bacon scarf through and through. "Foulard" is the French word for "silk scarf" and "fou" alone...

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Finger Hands

$3.72 from Amazon »

Finger Hands. Horrifying. Pure. Horror. And I thought Man Hands were hilarious. How can there be such a disparity between undersized and oversized? Archie McPhee tries to make it all seem fun 'n' clever by pointing out...

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Polarized Floating Sunglasses

$22.38 from Amazon »

Rafting? Fishing? Boating? Bending over a toilet? Don't lose your sunglasses to the laws of density again! BlueWater's floating sunglasses have both a lightweight frame and neoprene foam lining to guarantee they won't...

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Titan Multi-Tool Collar Stays

$50 from Amazon »

Turn discomfort into practicality. You might be stifled in a pressed button-up all day long, but at least with Titan's Multi-Tool Collar Stays you'll be able to pop open a beer at the end of it with the stealth and swagger...

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Laser Pointer Tactical Necktie

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Does a necktie equipped with a laser pointer and MOLLE system take the current tactical fad a step too far? Yeah, but...I kind of want one, so...on second thought, definitely not. ThinkGeek's tactical tie is fitted with...

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Wocket Smart Wallet

$179 from NXT-ID Inc. »

Is that a Wocket in your pocket, or are you just expecting me to pay for dinner? Like the Coin card consolidator, Wocket is an electronic wallet replacement that stores personal information from all of your credit and...

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Belt Buckle Knife

$65 - $95 from Bowen Knife Company »

Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from...

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KFC Chicken Corsage

$20 from KFC »

A corsage with a big fat KFC fried chicken leg nestled in the center. That might be the one thing I'd consent to reliving high school for. Can you imagine how good promfuls of girls flailing chicken wrists on the dance...

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Banana Umbrella

$17.75 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

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Star Trek Spock Socks

$8 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

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Wooden Tie

Sold Out from Amazon »

Yes ma'am, my necktie is made of solid wood. And it just so happens it's pointing to something else that is made of solid wood, if you know what I mean. So why don't we--wait! Don't flip your hair and walk off in a huff!...

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The Kraken Umbrella

What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life...

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Emergency Underpants Dispenser

$29.98 from Amazon »

I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking...

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Freakshop Belt Buckles

$45 - $190 from Etsy »

Some days I wake up and long to give people the impression that I'm a dark and bluesy heavy metal rocker with an impossibly angular jawline. So I wear my Danzig horned or Misfits shadowy skull belt buckle. Other days...

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Senz Stormproof Smart Umbrella

$54.50 from Amazon »

Oh I'll buy a Senz stormproof smart umbrella alright. I'll also take one of those red-lipped brunettes in a cocktail dress to valiantly shield from torrential downpours and winds of up to 50 mph with it....

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Gaming Glasses for Eye Fatigue

$21.95 - $154.52 from Amazon »

It's the graphics for a travel brochure. It's Q4 performance spreadsheets and their accompanying presentation slides. It's a thesis on the association between country music and suicide. Fine. It's really just Call of...

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Star Wars Cuff Links

$125 - $4k from Neiman Marcus »

Here are some officially licensed Star Wars cuff links, courtesy of fancy silk underpants department store Neiman Marcus, to present as a gift to your favorite geek this holiday season. Presuming your favorite geek is...

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Zip Tie

For anyone too hip, too lazy, or too caffeinated to tie a standard model, the Zip Tie provides an aesthetic and functional twist...or, rather, removal of the twist...on classic men's business wear. Slip your dome through...

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Settlers of Catan Socks

$14 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand's first production of Socks of Catan sold out in less than a week. So now would-be settlers of the feet sheaths must roll 7s until those who bought the socks by the dozen are forced to give back enough to replenish...

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Batman Hooded & Winged Backpack

Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a silver lining, or at least some black polyester, for the poor bastards who have to go to summer school: DC Comics' Batman Backpack...with Bat ear hood...and...du-nuhnuh-nuhnuh-nuhnuhnuh...BAT! WINGS! As with...

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Recycled Skateboard Sunglasses

$189.99 from Etsy »

Recycled skateboards and bamboo join forces to battle the sun! Hipsters and panda bears are going to love this shit! Bamboo Skate Shades are handmade in Canada, with no two rolling out precisely the same. Available in...

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The FlaskTie

Sold Out from Amazon »

While I don't condone sleeping on a tie at work, I must say I have generally found my productivity (and genius!) levels to be highest after a few swigs of Grey Goose. So drinking out of a tie at work = acceptable. In...

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The Fusion Wallet

$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

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Hardmill Rugged Man Aprons

Sold Out from Amazon »

Hardmill's rugged aprons are made of dudely things like army duck waxed canvas, selvage denim, hand-dyed leather, and copper rivets, plus snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. This is so that when wearing them no one...

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Fusion Ergonomic Backpacks

$220 - $260 from Fluoa »

I wonder if the Fusion ergonomic backpack will still follow the natural curves of my posterior after I stuff it to the brim with a laptop, 2 full-size and 3 fun-size Snickers bars, 1 box of Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins...

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Glowing Sunglasses

$69 - $129 from Etsy »

In addition to offering a bunch of sick shades, sunglasses maker Kevin of Neon Nightlife also offers some suggestions on how best to use his eye-catching glowing designs. These include:...

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Trakline Fits-Like-a-Glove Belt

$79.95 from Amazon »

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain...

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1,000 Year Old Reclaimed Redwood Sunglasses

$350 from Capital »

Capital Eyewear has trolled Northern California and recovered enough 1,000-year-old Redwood to craft 25 pairs of history-rich sunglasses. The wood originally served as a railroad bridge built in the 1800s. The bridge...

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Head Dome Umbrella

$49.99 from Nubrella »

In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne...

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Coffee & Cigs - Addictive Molecules Tie


Are your vices suffocating you, or do you wear them proudly as a badge of This is how I am, take it or leave it? In either case, if coffee consumption and cig sucking play important roles in your life, a necktie printed...

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Zombie Doll Tights

$35 from Etsy »

These are called Zombie Doll tights, but they are actually meant to be worn by women, not dolls. Unless you happen to be both, like this chick, who pretty much defines the terms "personality disorder", "bat shit crazy"...

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Batman Backpack

Sold Out from Amazon »

I guess since the Dark Knight Rises motorcycle suit pretty much congeals itself to the body of whomever puts it on with nary a pocket to spare, UD Replicas figured they better come out with some sort of supplemental storage...

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Titanium Bottle Opener Sunglasses

Sold Out from Amazon »

Sunglasses. They can become as iconic as the people whose eyes they cover. Like the ones that Aykroyd and Belushi wore in The Blues Brothers. That Tom Cruise wore in Top Gun. That Ray Charles wore And now...

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Chainmail Ties

$70 - $180 from Etsy »

Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle...

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Rip Van Winkle Beard Scarf


Though I probably could have winged it here, I decided to look up the tale of Rip Van Winkle and his boa constrictor beard after being asked if I was "some kind of retard" for not knowing who he is. Having been written...

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Solid Gray Hardshell Backpack

$186 - $213 from solid gray »

Solid Gray has given the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a makeover for the 2010s and invites you to play an active role in the re-imaging with their hardshell backpacks. The 4 color schemes available highlight general rebranding...

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Functional Lighter Cufflinks


How boss will I be when people see me light a stogie with my cufflinks? Never mind that the awe and admiration will be fleeting once my shirt sleeve and, shortly thereafter, entire person also erupts into flame*. A few...

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HALO ZERO LED Messenger Bag

$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of...

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Wooden Bow Ties

$45 - $65 from Two Guys' Bowties »

A Wooden Bow Tie delivers all of the fancy-fingerwork-not-required perks of a clip-on, without making its wearer just another schmo who showed up to the Garden State Inaugural Gala in a clip-on. Two Guys Bow Ties--comprising...

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Waffle Belt Buckle

$50 from Etsy »

All I need is this ring, and I'll be a delectable man plate of chicken & waffles. As for the Waffle Belt Buckle itself, I don't think anyone can better describe its appeal than creator, Jon Wye: "For people who wish they...

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LEGO Purses

$180 - $240 from Etsy »

Now here's a man purse. Or at least a purse a man might not mind holding momentarily while his girlfriend downs a shot of Fireball. Because LEGOs are money. And so, by proxy, are LEGOs that hold money, even if they are...

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Dash Quickdraw Wallet

$13 - $19 from Dash Wallets »

Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug...