Accessories

Functional Lighter Cufflinks

$89.99 from Etsy »

How boss will I be when people see me light a stogie with my cufflinks? Never mind that the awe and admiration will be fleeting once my shirt sleeve and, shortly thereafter, entire person also erupts into flame*. A few...

HALO ZERO LED Messenger Bag

$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of...

Wooden Bow Ties

$45 - $65 from Two Guys' Bowties »

A Wooden Bow Tie delivers all of the fancy-fingerwork-not-required perks of a clip-on, without making its wearer just another schmo who showed up to the Garden State Inaugural Gala in a clip-on. Two Guys Bow Ties--comprising...

Waffle Belt Buckle

$32 from Etsy »

All I need is this ring, and I'll be a delectable man plate of chicken & waffles. As for the Waffle Belt Buckle itself, I don't think anyone can better describe its appeal than creator, Jon Wye: "For people who wish they...

LEGO Purses

$180 - $240 from Etsy »

Now here's a man purse. Or at least a purse a man might not mind holding momentarily while his girlfriend downs a shot of Fireball. Because LEGOs are money. And so, by proxy, are LEGOs that hold money, even if they are...

Dash Quickdraw Wallet

$13 - $19 from Dash Wallets »

Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug...

M16 Sunglasses

$490 from Colette »

When I was in New Orleans a couple years ago, I saw this painted on the wall of a bar: "I Love Boys, Guns & Jesus." I imagine the girl who penned and crafted it wearing a pair of Jeremy Scott + Linda Farrow M16 Sunglasses....

Volt Heated Clothing & Gear

$119.95 - $219.95 from Volt Resistance »

GIVEAWAY ALERT! The very cool electro-cats at Volt Resistance battery heated clothing are giving away the winner's choice of any product from their online store to one lucky Dude loyalist. Read on to learn why you really...

Flip n'Grip Wallet

Discontinued

Dudes, I think the Flip n'Grip Wallet is cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, and I'm willing to bet that you too are cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, so don't just rely...

Rain Shield

A 2012 red dot award winner for design concept, Lin Min-Wei and Liu Li-Hsiang's Rain Shield could make carrying an umbrella 1) somewhat stylish and 2) more than an exercise in futility. Its shield-like construction uses...

Socrates Everlasting Socks

Discontinued

Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair...

Star Wars Glasses

$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors...

Galaxy Tights

$32 from shadowplaynyc »

Galaxy Tights. No, sorry, Magellanic Cloud Nebula Space Tights. That's what happens to simple naming endeavors when new agey companies and celebrities seize control of the task. Similar to--but a little more sparkly...

Antler Sunglasses

Discontinued

Get ready to ring in deer season. Material Memorie crafts each pair of these Antler Sunglasses to order, covering their python bone base with a black enamel resin stretched and molded to create an edgy, melted look. No...

Tombies - Zombie Keychains

$4.99 from Etsy »

Tom Kollmer sculpts, casts, and paints by hand his creepy, key-corraling zombie miniatures, rightfully termed Tombies. Available in three atrociously undead styles--the Creeper (featured), the Licker, and, my personal...

Etch A Sketch Belt Buckle

Sold Out from Etsy »

Interestingly, the Etch A Sketch Belt Buckle is designed for belt installation such that others, not the wearer, are best positioned to make use of its fully functional knobs and x- and y-axis action. Hmmm, I'm picking...

Vans Cork Wallet

$20 from Journeys »

This is a Vans bi-fold wallet made out of cork. It has a zipper on the back for coins and condoms and such, and many slots on the inside for cards and condoms and such, as well as a large pocket on one of its flaps for...

Team USA Motorcycle Mask

$375 from Etsy »

The Patriot Mask is one of my favorite masks that I have created. Oh. I guess I should put quotes around or italicize that statement since it was said by the person who isn't me who actually created it. Leather artist...

Daily Product Updates In Your Inbox

Retro Cassette Ribbon Necktie

$120 from Supermarket »

Conceptual and sound artist Alyce Santoro enmeshes equal parts retro cassette tape ribbons and colored polyester thread to form the genetically superior Sonic Fabric. In both necktie and bowtie form, the dress shirt decor...

Sword Handle Umbrellas

$52 from Amazon »

During complete deluges, formal affairs cursed with rain, and attempts to impress a hot chick during a summer storm--times when carrying an umbrella is unavoidable--you may as well whip out a rain deflector decked out...

Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...

Batman Flask Belt Buckle

$16.99 from Hip Flask Plus »

It may not aid him in faceoffs with the Joker, but this inconspicuous 3-ounce flask is the one secret weapon on Batman's utility belt that helps him fight the urge to bitch slap Robin. And Alfred when he starts getting...

Spider-Man Webbed Sunglasses

$219.95 from Sunglass Hut »

Maui Jim originally made these Special Edition Kekoa sunglasses for the Amazing Spider-Man, but the Amazing Spider-Man was all, "I'm the Amazing Spider-Man! I don't need no stinkin' UV protection! Also, I have four times...

HALO LED Sport Belt

$49 from Amazon »

Even though I would prefer not to get hit by a car, I still have trouble getting stoked about wearing and using reflective devices. Bike lights break or get stolen, patches only work when other lights are around to bounce...

Recycled Ramen Noodle Pouch

$12 from Etsy »

Recycled Ramen noodle soup wrappers transform into zippered pouches for stashing coins, cards, smoking paraphernalia, and...uh, anything else smaller than a Ramen noodle soup wrapper. Packaging is cleaned prior to change...

Alexander McQueen Skull Tie

$175 from Mr Porter »

One thing about Alexander McQueen is he's dead. So the Alexander McQueen Skull Tie may in fact be a tie fashioned in the likeness of Alexander McQueen's skull. Hopefully to be followed by cuff link representations of...

Machine Gun Stockings

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ladies, when it's Saturday night, and you can't decide whether you're on the prowl for the suave James Bonds a garter holster and peek-a-boo pistol would attract, or the BSC Tony Montana-type lured more by a fully automatic...

F*ck the Rain Umbrella

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental...

Guess Who? Fleshy Frames

$258.25 from 6000 AD »

My guess is that this photo is a pretty accurate representation of what goes down when sexy ladies lacquered in F-me red fingernails catch sight of a man rockin' a porn 'stache of this caliber. 6000 AD's Jeremy Scott...

Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet

$10.06 from Amazon »

This nifty Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet with photo-real fabric looks so authentic petty thieves and street urchins will never suspect it's housing your cash and credit cards. On the flip side, beware of fat kids. Each...

Indestructible Biometric Wallet

Discontinued

Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible...

The Pillow Tie

$19.95 from Pillow Tie »

Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for...

R2D2 Apron

Discontinued

What woman wouldn't want a gift that reminds her both of her domestic duties and the George Lucas empire you eat, breathe, and talk about nonstop? R2D2 apron = Valentine's Day, solved. The newest addition to the Haute...

Goomba Cufflinks

$33 from Etsy »

If you like these goomba cufflinks, you probably hate wearing the types of shirts that require cufflinks, so owning a pair might make the inevitable wedding, funeral, Christmas party, or arraignment you have to dress...

The Boob Scarf

$30 from Etsy »

Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible?...

Sunstache

If your audition for the Clever Devil Brigade is coming up, but you don't have the cash to tattoo a mustache on your index finger, an $8 solution is here!...

Mini Monkey Nail Polish Dryer

Sold Out from Amazon »

This little battery operated monkey has one job. Blowing. Women have long despised blowing, so why not buy a monkey to get the job done for you. Just press the button, sit back, and relax while this cute little guy does...

Walk of Shame Patch

Sold Out from Etsy »

The walk of shame is something to be celebrated. It wasn't easy convincing that frat boy to let you sleep on the ground next to his mattress. Your shame should be worn on your chest as a badge of honor. This patch gives...

LED Eyelashes

These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska....

The Batarang Money Clip

$39 from ThinkGeek »

Imagine this: You're on a date. As usual, things aren't going very well. She's finished her 3rd drink and still sees a slack jawed lummox when she looks across the table. The tab arrives. You, being the sucker that you...