Accessories

Beer Mug Socks

$34.90 from Etsy »

These Beer Mug Socks are actually more like Beer Mug Leg Warmers, but yarn maestro Vicky Djokic probably figured referring to her most excellent hand-knit frothy pints o' brew as "leg warmer" would deter men from clicking...

Westwell Modular Tool Belts

$45 - $95 from Westwell »

Westwell isn't the first handycompany to sneak tools into the buckles of their fashion belts, but they are the first I've seen to make the tools modular and swappable, as well as with an option to keep them completely...

4EST Shades Floating Wood Sunglasses

$49.99 from Amazon »

They come from the 4EST, but these wood sunglasses have no problem heading to the ocean, lake, or river too. Made from real maple, the wayfarers are lightweight and low-density, so if you drop them in the water, they'll...

Dango Coin Capsule

Coins. What a pain in my ass. Piles of them overflow various dishes and trays around my condo, smirking at me from behind their hugely disproportionate ratio of weight and manageability to value. Even the quarter suck...

Polarized XXL Sunglasses for People with Big Heads

$75 from Faded Days »

Got a fat head on the wrong end? Faded Days isn't the only brand that makes polarized XXL sunglasses for people with big heads, but they do seem particularly committed to the process. First they ran a wide-head-sunglasses...

Foldies Polarized Folding Sunglasses

$69 from Amazon »

If you've got that sunshine in your pocket, better keep a pair of Foldies folding sunglasses in your other one. The unisex wayfarers have a hinge at their bridge and on each arm to break them down into a compact puck...

Master Carver Meerschaum Pipes

$75 - $625 from Amazon »

I'm not sure I'd want to put anything in these Master Carver Meerschaum Pipes and smoke it - they're just so intricate and byoo-tee-ful. And expensive. What if tobacco, or the stanky green stuff, ruined it?...

Nite Ize RunOff Waterproof Wallet

$24.99 from Amazon »

The Nite Ize RunOff Waterproof Wallet helps you hike, paddle, sail, and hoof it 2 miles back to your hotel in the pouring rain assured that your valuables are safe and dry inside its impermeable TPU walls and IPX7-rated...

Sawyer Utility Bracelet

$49 from Amazon »

I like the Sawyer Utility Bracelet. I like it for its leather-and-steel aesthetic, and I like it for its proposed method of carrying around a utility knife, which is one that takes up zero room, and creates zero bulge...

Self-Defense Coin Bag

$34.99 from Amazon »

George Washington, Franklin Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, and Abe Lincoln team up to deliver the ultimate bitch slap, packing a whack! from inside your self-defense coin bag. And after they're done, you'll be all ready...

EDC Apparatus Bolt Carabiners

$134.11 - $303.21 from Etsy »

Cheap EDC, meet everyday works of art. At least in the minds of the carriers willing to pay for these Bolt Carabiners from EDC Apparatus. Designer Josep Julian makes the sexy links in his shop in Alas i Cerc, Spain, using...

Bose Frames Audio Sunglasses

$199 from Amazon »

Bose Frames don't go for bone conduction to give you sound in your sunglasses like Zungle's V2 Viper headphone sunglasses. They bring audio to eye protection in a more Bose-y way: through itty-bitty high-end speakers...

Thumbcuff Keychains

Sold Out from Amazon »

OK, this keychain has more like mini handcuffs than true thumbcuffs dangling from it. But as handcuffs they'll only lock over, say, the 2 front legs of a Shih Tzu on the run from ripping off the canine CBD store. And...

Speidel Binder Clip Money Clips

$99 from Amazon »

Speidel has one thing right: I'd much rather use a binder clip to press together a fat wad of cash than a fat wad of papers. Especially if the papers contain documents I must sign and return to my attorney or the IRS...

Zungle V2 Viper Bone Conduction Headphone Sunglasses

Sold Out from Amazon »

Do you hear the rumble in the Zungle? It's the V2 Viper sunglasses' built-in Vibra bone conduction speakers, sending sound from the arms hooked over your ears, through your face bones, and into to your drums o' hearing...

IRL Ad Blocker Glasses

They live. IRL Glasses are real-life sunglasses that block ads - that block all screen visuals - in real time. No joke, they're real news created to black out fake news. And screens blasting aggressive backlit pushes...

Crazy Horse Craft Origami Leather Wallets

$38 - $60 from Amazon »

Native America meets old world Japan in Crazy Horse Craft's leather origami-style wallets. The minimalist cash and card carriers have a classic, scholarly look, with 2 openings for quick access, and two interior compartments...

EEZ-Y Inverted Umbrella

$26.99 from Amazon »

With their Inverted Umbrella EEZ-Y has managed to make the first umbrella turned inside out I don't want to throw on the ground and stomp on because it's turned inside out. And in fact, when this double-sided rain shield's...

RFID-Blocking Leather Passport Holder

$22.99 from Amazon »

I got one of these RFID-blocking leather passport holders as a Christmas gift last year. I smiled politely when I opened it and gave the standard, "Oh wow, a leather passport holder. That's great. Thanks." But 8 months...

Gerber Barbill Wallet

$19.14 from Amazon »

Gerber's Barbill wallet looks like it has a pair of butterfly wings that slide out from either side of its elastic band center. Maybe to communicate that, despite the sturdy look and feel of the wallet's stainless steel...

Colt 45 Walking Cane

Discontinued

The old dude with the walking cane might look like an easy target, but if that cane were capped off with a Colt 45 handgun, I sure wouldn't mess with him. Actually, even if the handle were just plain wood like the rest...

Balega Blister Resist Socks

$8.97 - $18 from Amazon »

Balega socks probably know avid runners and athletes don't let blisters, or the potential for rubbing one up, dissuade them from lacing up and taking off. But getting blisters is a pain. A persistent, burning pain that...

Tattoo Tights

$18 - $33 from Etsy »

I wonder if women who see these Tattoo Tights feel like I do when I see the Wonderffle Stuffed Waffle Iron. All hot and sweaty and in need of a change of pants...

Don't Panic Keychain Towel

$10.99 - $14.99 from SN Pro Tips »

I was stoked when I found these Don't Panic thigh-high stockings for my fiancee to wear on our wedding day, but it's nothing compared to the joy I feel now having found SN Pro Tips' Don't Panic Keychain Towel for myself...