A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, April 13, 2014
$20 from KFC »

A corsage with a big fat KFC fried chicken leg nestled in the center. That might be the one thing I'd consent to reliving high school for. Can you imagine how good promfuls of girls flailing chicken wrists on the dance floor...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014
$45 - $190 from Etsy »

Some days I wake up and long to give people the impression that I'm a dark and bluesy heavy metal rocker with an impossibly angular jawline. So I wear my Danzig horned or Misfits shadowy skull belt buckle. Other days I roll out of bed able to think of nothing but powering up the Technodrome, taking over the Earth, and destroying me some Ninja Turtles. Especially Raphael. That sai-bearing bastard....

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$329.99 from Amazon »

I guess since the Dark Knight Rises motorcycle suit pretty much congeals itself to the body of whomever puts it on with nary a pocket to spare, UD Replicas figured they better come out with some sort of supplemental storage...

Monday, November 12, 2012
By: red dot

A 2012 red dot award winner for design concept, Lin Min-Wei and Liu Li-Hsiang's Rain Shield could make carrying an umbrella 1) somewhat stylish and 2) more than an exercise in futility. Its shield-like construction uses a...

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$7.11 from Amazon »

I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking dog or an overweight cougar in leopard lingerie making duck face at you...for example...and had the shit scared out of you. That day you, against better judgment, got a carne...

Friday, March 7, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Yes ma'am, my necktie is made of solid wood. And it just so happens it's pointing to something else that is made of solid wood, if you know what I mean. So why don't we--wait! Don't flip your hair and walk off in a huff! I...

Monday, July 16, 2012
$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn Monroe's...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$17.48 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

Thursday, September 15, 2011

These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
$13 - $19 from Dash Wallets »

Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug attachment--so...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life and...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$9.77 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$21.95 - $154.52 from Amazon »

It's the graphics for a travel brochure. It's Q4 performance spreadsheets and their accompanying presentation slides. It's a thesis on the association between country music and suicide. Fine. It's really just Call of Duty....

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Discontinued

Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013
$186 - $213 from solid gray »

Solid Gray has given the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a makeover for the 2010s and invites you to play an active role in the re-imaging with their hardshell backpacks. The 4 color schemes available highlight general rebranding...

Saturday, November 17, 2012
Discontinued

Dudes, I think the Flip n'Grip Wallet is cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, and I'm willing to bet that you too are cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, so don't just rely on...

Friday, May 24, 2013
$69 - $129 from Etsy »

In addition to offering a bunch of sick shades, sunglasses maker Kevin of Neon Nightlife also offers some suggestions on how best to use his eye-catching glowing designs. These include:...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Monday, July 1, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Here's a silver lining, or at least some black polyester, for the poor bastards who have to go to summer school: DC Comics' Batman Backpack...with Bat ear hood...and...du-nuhnuh-nuhnuh-nuhnuhnuh...BAT! WINGS! As with any loyal...

Sunday, October 7, 2012
$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors and trademark...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$49.50 from Amazon »

Oh I'll buy a Senz stormproof smart umbrella alright. I'll also take one of those red-lipped brunettes in a cocktail dress to valiantly shield from torrential downpours and winds of up to 50 mph with it....

Tuesday, June 26, 2012
$68.94 from Amazon »

Even though I would prefer not to get hit by a car, I still have trouble getting stoked about wearing and using reflective devices. Bike lights break or get stolen, patches only work when other lights are around to bounce...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$145 from Amazon »

Sunglasses. They can become as iconic as the people whose eyes they cover. Like the ones that Aykroyd and Belushi wore in The Blues Brothers. That Tom Cruise wore in Top Gun. That Ray Charles wore in...life. And now, from...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$220 - $260 from Fluoa »

I wonder if the Fusion ergonomic backpack will still follow the natural curves of my posterior after I stuff it to the brim with a laptop, 2 full-size and 3 fun-size Snickers bars, 1 box of Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins...

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$24.95 from Amazon »

While I don't condone sleeping on a tie at work, I must say I have generally found my productivity (and genius!) levels to be highest after a few swigs of Grey Goose. So drinking out of a tie at work = acceptable. In moderation...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$49.99 from Nubrella »

In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne...

Monday, December 12, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing...

Monday, October 15, 2012
Discontinued

Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair of foot...

Thursday, March 8, 2012
$9.50 from Amazon »

This nifty Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet with photo-real fabric looks so authentic petty thieves and street urchins will never suspect it's housing your cash and credit cards. On the flip side, beware of fat kids. Each sandwich...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$39 from ThinkGeek »

Imagine this: You're on a date. As usual, things aren't going very well. She's finished her 3rd drink and still sees a slack jawed lummox when she looks across the table. The tab arrives. You, being the sucker that you are...

Monday, April 23, 2012

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental...

Saturday, February 18, 2012
$19.95 from Pillow Tie »

Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for down...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$125 - $4k from Neiman Marcus »

Here are some officially licensed Star Wars cuff links, courtesy of fancy silk underpants department store Neiman Marcus, to present as a gift to your favorite geek this holiday season. Presuming your favorite geek is worth...

Friday, September 20, 2013

For anyone too hip, too lazy, or too caffeinated to tie a standard model, the Zip Tie provides an aesthetic and functional twist...or, rather, removal of the twist...on classic men's business wear. Slip your dome through 100%...

Thursday, June 13, 2013
$220 - $235 from Hardmill »

Hardmill's rugged aprons are made of dudely things like army duck waxed canvas, selvage denim, hand-dyed leather, and copper rivets, plus snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. This is so that when wearing them no one will...

Sunday, March 3, 2013
$70 - $180 from Etsy »

Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
$189.99 from Etsy »

Recycled skateboards and bamboo join forces to battle the sun! Hipsters and panda bears are going to love this shit! Bamboo Skate Shades are handmade in Canada, with no two rolling out precisely the same. Available in 8 different...

Saturday, January 28, 2012
Discontinued

What woman wouldn't want a gift that reminds her both of her domestic duties and the George Lucas empire you eat, breathe, and talk about nonstop? R2D2 apron = Valentine's Day, solved. The newest addition to the Haute Mess...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$14 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand's first production of Socks of Catan sold out in less than a week. So now would-be settlers of the feet sheaths must roll 7s until those who bought the socks by the dozen are forced to give back enough to replenish...

Friday, July 27, 2012
$375 from Etsy »

The Patriot Mask is one of my favorite masks that I have created. Oh. I guess I should put quotes around or italicize that statement since it was said by the person who isn't me who actually created it. Leather artist El Vaquero...

Friday, March 22, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

These are called Zombie Doll tights, but they are actually meant to be worn by women, not dolls. Unless you happen to be both, like this chick, who pretty much defines the terms "personality disorder", "bat shit crazy", and...

Thursday, December 6, 2012
$119.95 - $219.95 from Volt Resistance »

GIVEAWAY ALERT! The very cool electro-cats at Volt Resistance battery heated clothing are giving away the winner's choice of any product from their online store to one lucky Dude loyalist. Read on to learn why you really...

Friday, May 11, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Ladies, when it's Saturday night, and you can't decide whether you're on the prowl for the suave James Bonds a garter holster and peek-a-boo pistol would attract, or the BSC Tony Montana-type lured more by a fully automatic...

Monday, May 13, 2013
$350 from Capital »

Capital Eyewear has trolled Northern California and recovered enough 1,000-year-old Redwood to craft 25 pairs of history-rich sunglasses. The wood originally served as a railroad bridge built in the 1800s. The bridge was torn...

Saturday, February 9, 2013
$89.99 from Etsy »

How boss will I be when people see me light a stogie with my cufflinks? Never mind that the awe and admiration will be fleeting once my shirt sleeve and, shortly thereafter, entire person also erupts into flame*. A few James...

Friday, August 17, 2012
$20 from Journeys »

This is a Vans bi-fold wallet made out of cork. It has a zipper on the back for coins and condoms and such, and many slots on the inside for cards and condoms and such, as well as a large pocket on one of its flaps for cash...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012
$16.99 from Hip Flask Plus »

It may not aid him in faceoffs with the Joker, but this inconspicuous 3-ounce flask is the one secret weapon on Batman's utility belt that helps him fight the urge to bitch slap Robin. And Alfred when he starts getting all...

Monday, September 26, 2011
$4 from Etsy »

The walk of shame is something to be celebrated. It wasn't easy convincing that frat boy to let you sleep on the ground next to his mattress. Your shame should be worn on your chest as a badge of honor. This patch gives you...

Friday, September 21, 2012
$32 from shadowplaynyc »

Galaxy Tights. No, sorry, Magellanic Cloud Nebula Space Tights. That's what happens to simple naming endeavors when new agey companies and celebrities seize control of the task. Similar to--but a little more sparkly, and a...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$490 from Colette »

When I was in New Orleans a couple years ago, I saw this painted on the wall of a bar: "I Love Boys, Guns & Jesus." I imagine the girl who penned and crafted it wearing a pair of Jeremy Scott + Linda Farrow M16 Sunglasses....

Thursday, January 3, 2013
$45 - $65 from Two Guys' Bowties »

A Wooden Bow Tie delivers all of the fancy-fingerwork-not-required perks of a clip-on, without making its wearer just another schmo who showed up to the Garden State Inaugural Gala in a clip-on. Two Guys Bow Ties--comprising...

Monday, October 24, 2011

If your audition for the Clever Devil Brigade is coming up, but you don't have the cash to tattoo a mustache on your index finger, an $8 solution is here!...

Monday, July 23, 2012
$51.50 from Amazon »

During complete deluges, formal affairs cursed with rain, and attempts to impress a hot chick during a summer storm--times when carrying an umbrella is unavoidable--you may as well whip out a rain deflector decked out in a...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
$120 from Supermarket »

Conceptual and sound artist Alyce Santoro enmeshes equal parts retro cassette tape ribbons and colored polyester thread to form the genetically superior Sonic Fabric. In both necktie and bowtie form, the dress shirt decor...

Friday, December 14, 2012
$180 - $240 from Etsy »

Now here's a man purse. Or at least a purse a man might not mind holding momentarily while his girlfriend downs a shot of Fireball. Because LEGOs are money. And so, by proxy, are LEGOs that hold money, even if they are sculpted...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$500 from Etsy »

Though I probably could have winged it here, I decided to look up the tale of Rip Van Winkle and his boa constrictor beard after being asked if I was "some kind of retard" for not knowing who he is. Having been written by...

Monday, July 9, 2012
$219.95 from Sunglass Hut »

Maui Jim originally made these Special Edition Kekoa sunglasses for the Amazing Spider-Man, but the Amazing Spider-Man was all, "I'm the Amazing Spider-Man! I don't need no stinkin' UV protection! Also, I have four times more...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012
$258.25 from 6000 AD »

My guess is that this photo is a pretty accurate representation of what goes down when sexy ladies lacquered in F-me red fingernails catch sight of a man rockin' a porn 'stache of this caliber. 6000 AD's Jeremy Scott Flesh...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Interestingly, the Etch A Sketch Belt Buckle is designed for belt installation such that others, not the wearer, are best positioned to make use of its fully functional knobs and x- and y-axis action. Hmmm, I'm picking up...

Thursday, September 6, 2012
$4.99 from Etsy »

Tom Kollmer sculpts, casts, and paints by hand his creepy, key-corraling zombie miniatures, rightfully termed Tombies. Available in three atrociously undead styles--the Creeper (featured), the Licker, and, my personal favorite...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011
$1.95 from Amazon »

This little battery operated monkey has one job. Blowing. Women have long despised blowing, so why not buy a monkey to get the job done for you. Just press the button, sit back, and relax while this cute little guy does his...

Saturday, March 30, 2013
$45 from Etsy »

Are your vices suffocating you, or do you wear them proudly as a badge of This is how I am, take it or leave it? In either case, if coffee consumption and cig sucking play important roles in your life, a necktie printed with...

Thursday, June 21, 2012
$12 from Etsy »

Recycled Ramen noodle soup wrappers transform into zippered pouches for stashing coins, cards, smoking paraphernalia, and...uh, anything else smaller than a Ramen noodle soup wrapper. Packaging is cleaned prior to change in...

Friday, May 18, 2012
$175 from Mr Porter »

One thing about Alexander McQueen is he's dead. So the Alexander McQueen Skull Tie may in fact be a tie fashioned in the likeness of Alexander McQueen's skull. Hopefully to be followed by cuff link representations of his knuckles....

Friday, December 28, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

All I need is this ring, and I'll be a delectable man plate of chicken & waffles. As for the Waffle Belt Buckle itself, I don't think anyone can better describe its appeal than creator, Jon Wye: "For people who wish they could...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

If you like these goomba cufflinks, you probably hate wearing the types of shirts that require cufflinks, so owning a pair might make the inevitable wedding, funeral, Christmas party, or arraignment you have to dress up for...