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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/trakline-fully-adjustable-belt-7837.jpg "Trakline Fits-Like-a-Glove Belt")
When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather strips, more...
/batman-backpack-7194.jpg "Batman Backpack")
I guess since the Dark Knight Rises motorcycle suit pretty much congeals itself to the body of whomever puts it on with nary a pocket to spare, UD Replicas figured they better come out with some sort of supplemental storage device for more...
/rain-shield-by-lin-minwei--5631.jpg "Rain Shield")
A 2012 red dot award winner for design concept, Lin Min-Wei and Liu Li-Hsiang's Rain Shield could make carrying an umbrella 1) somewhat stylish and 2) more than an exercise in futility. Its shield-like construction uses a single curved steel wire and telescopic rod to create both overhead protection from water falling from the sky and, more importantly, lateral protection from water, mud, and motor more...
/1000-year-old-reclaimed-7814.jpg "1,000 Year Old Reclaimed Redwood Sunglasses")
Capital Eyewear has trolled Northern California and recovered enough 1,000-year-old Redwood to craft 25 pairs of history-rich sunglasses. The wood originally served as a railroad bridge built in the 1800s. The bridge was torn down in more...
/head-dome-umbrella-7742.jpg "Head Dome Umbrella")
In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne illnesses more...
/dash-quickdraw-wallet-5977.jpg "Dash Quickdraw Wallet")
Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug attachment--so it's about time credit card holders followed suit. Though the Dash Quickdraw Wallet is really only "fancy" in its simplicity and innate ability to make my life easier. more...
/solid-gray-hardshell-backpack-6806.jpg "Solid Gray Hardshell Backpack")
Solid Gray has given the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a makeover for the 2010s and invites you to play an active role in the re-imaging with their hardshell backpacks. The 4 color schemes available highlight general rebranding guidelines more...
/LED-Eyelashes-851.jpg?mode=crop "LED Eyelashes")
These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit on the drug and urine scattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska. more...
/titty-twirlers-pasties-4271.jpg "Titty Twirlers Pasties")
Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn Monroe's parachuting more...
/flip-ngrip-wallet-5679.jpg "Flip n'Grip Wallet")
Dudes, I think the Flip n'Grip Wallet is cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, and I'm willing to bet that you too are cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, so don't just rely on the more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/halo-zero-led-messenger-bag-6344.jpg "HALO ZERO LED Messenger Bag")
Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's fight for more...
/star-wars-glasses-5235.jpg "Star Wars Glasses")
But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors and trademark embellishments more...
/indestructible-biometric-2753.jpg "Indestructible Biometric Wallet")
Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and programs to more...
/zombie-doll-tights-7226.jpg "Zombie Doll Tights")
These are called Zombie Doll tights, but they are actually meant to be worn by women, not dolls. Unless you happen to be both, like this chick, who pretty much defines the terms "personality disorder", "bat shit crazy", and "still hot more...
/chainmail-ties-6970.jpg "Chainmail Ties")
Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle, which is more...
/halo-led-sport-belt-blue-4067.jpg "HALO LED Sport Belt")
Even though I would prefer not to get hit by a car, I still have trouble getting stoked about wearing and using reflective devices. Bike lights break or get stolen, patches only work when other lights are around to bounce off of them, more...
/socrates-everlasting-socks-5340.jpg "Socrates Everlasting Socks")
Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair of foot koozies more...
/functional-lighter-cufflinks-6688.jpg "Functional Lighter Cufflinks")
How boss will I be when people see me light a stogie with my cufflinks? Never mind that the awe and admiration will be fleeting once my shirt sleeve and, shortly thereafter, entire person also erupts into flame*. A few James Bond moments more...
/The-Boob-Scarf-1557.jpg "The Boob Scarf")
Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing could more...
/peanut-butter-jelly-wallet-3008.jpg "Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet")
This nifty Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet with photo-real fabric looks so authentic petty thieves and street urchins will never suspect it's housing your cash and credit cards. On the flip side, beware of fat kids. Each sandwich half more...
/fck-the-rain-umbrella-3477.jpg "F*ck the Rain Umbrella")
A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental f*cking more...
/the-pillow-tie-how-to-2728.jpg "The Pillow Tie")
Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for down or memory more...
/volt-heated-clothing-gear-5906.jpg "Volt Heated Clothing & Gear")
GIVEAWAY ALERT! The very cool electro-cats at Volt Resistance battery heated clothing are giving away the winner's choice of any product from their online store to one lucky Dude loyalist. Read on to learn why you really, really want more...
/coffee-cigs-addictive-7303.jpg "Coffee & Cigs - Addictive Molecules Tie")
Are your vices suffocating you, or do you wear them proudly as a badge of This is how I am, take it or leave it? In either case, if coffee consumption and cig sucking play important roles in your life, a necktie printed with caffeine more...
/r2d2-apron-2272.jpg "R2D2 Apron")
What woman wouldn't want a gift that reminds her both of her domestic duties and the George Lucas empire you eat, breathe, and talk about nonstop? R2D2 apron = Valentine's Day, solved. The newest addition to the Haute Mess Threads Geek more...
/The-Batarang-Money-Clip-702.jpg?mode=crop "The Batarang Money Clip")
Imagine this: You're on a date. As usual, things aren't going very well. She's finished her 3rd drink and still sees a slack jawed lummox when she looks across the table. The tab arrives. You, being the sucker that you are, dig in your more...
/rip-van-winkle-beard-scarf-6908.jpg "Rip Van Winkle Beard Scarf")
Though I probably could have winged it here, I decided to look up the tale of Rip Van Winkle and his boa constrictor beard after being asked if I was "some kind of retard" for not knowing who he is. Having been written by a Puritanical more...
/machine-gun-stockings-3644.jpg "Machine Gun Stockings")
Ladies, when it's Saturday night, and you can't decide whether you're on the prowl for the suave James Bonds a garter holster and peek-a-boo pistol would attract, or the BSC Tony Montana-type lured more by a fully automatic submachine more...
/team-usa-motorcycle-mask-4420.jpg "Team USA Motorcycle Mask")
The Patriot Mask is one of my favorite masks that I have created. Oh. I guess I should put quotes around or italicize that statement since it was said by the person who isn't me who actually created it. Leather artist El Vaquero Muerto more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
/m16-sunglasses-5954.jpg "M16 Sunglasses")
