134

Emergency Underpants Dispenser

By: on February 20, 2014
  • Emergency Underpants Dispenser
  • Emergency Underpants Dispenser
$22
Check It Out

I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking dog or an overweight cougar in leopard lingerie making duck face at you...for example...and had the shit scared out of you. That day you, against better judgment, got a carne asada taco from a Mexican street cart and sharted not 30 minutes later. The experiences are unpleasant no matter how you spin them, but at least with an easy-dispense box of spare underwear, you can, uh, wipe away their physical effects quickly, and then focus your real efforts on the emotional healing.

The Emergency Underpants Dispenser takes Emergency Underpants to the next level by providing buyers with not just one but five pairs of Emergency Underpants. This isn't to encourage frivolity with bowel and bladder maintenance, but simply a way to prepare for the hard truth: in life, shit happens and people get pissed on. Usually more than once.

Buy Now

Flowering Penis Coffee Mug

$15.99 from Amazon »

For all the ladies (and fellas!) who count floral patterns and penises amongst their favorite things, have I got a mug of a gift for you. Clothing and accessory brand HUMAN goes for a very anatomical part of being one...

Buy Now

Voice & Motion Activated Prank Stickers

$12.99 from Amazon »

More sticker fun for the office and airport pranksters. A 50-pack of Voice & Motion Activated prank stickers, my college friends, seem like a necessary addition to your suitcase when you head back to the dorm too....

Check it out

Eletrunks "Lifter" Underwear

$28 from Eletrunks »

Though the above video is slightly NSFW, Eletrunks are not a dirty or obscene pair of underwear. At all. The company's demo of their functional, comfort-enhancing, package-adjusting Lifter cord just makes it look like...

Check it out

Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

Buy Now

Fundies: Underwear Built for Two

$7.99 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem...

Check it out

Spartan Radiation-Blocking Underwear

$45 from Spartan »

Spartan Underwear heard the refrain every time some newfangled food or drug or piece of tech came out too: "Twenty years from now they'll probably find out it kills you." Or, in the case of the radiation given off by...

Check it out

Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear

$38 - $70 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

Check it out

The JerkShirt (NSFW)

Now don't take NSFW the wrong way. The JerkShirt was indeed created primarily for the office (and secondarily for the dinner table). But I would caution against watching the video, illuminating as it may be, within eye-...

Buy Now

Earwax Candle Kit

$7.89 from Amazon »

Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...

Buy Now

The Ball Lifter (NSFW)

$17 - $22.95 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking: is that a push-up bra...for my balls? The answer is yes. The Ball Lifter was designed to lift and embellish your package without pumps, pills, or other male member enhancement quackery. It's...

Check it out

Latex Bat Underwear

$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...

Buy Now

Book of Things Better Than Boobs

Sold Out from Amazon »

Part of me wants to tell you what's inside the Book of Things Better Than Boobs so you'll get why it's so brilliant, but part of me wants to let you find out for yourself so you'll experience why it's so brilliant. I...