Gunnar Optiks PPK Computer Glasses

$59 from GUNNAR »

It's the graphics for a travel brochure. It's Q4 performance spreadsheets and their accompanying presentation slides. It's a thesis on the association between country music and suicide. Fine. It's really just Call of...

TRON Car

Unlike the (now discontinued) TRON Light Cycle, you never could--and likely never will be able to--go to the TRON store and buy one of Timur Bozca's TRON Cars. You might be able to commission one with enough dollars and...

Motorcycle Chain Ashtray

$7.02 from Amazon »

For those who still haven't secured a Father's Day Gift yet, this Motorcycle Chain Ashtray and Amazon Prime shipping could be the last lifeline between you and having to leave the house and go to a store in person to...

Armadillo Tea Canopy

The belly of a beast doesn't have to be Old Testament-style miserable and wet and reeking of rotting fish. Unlike Jonah, you'll be able to relish some shade from the blaring sun, some shelter from the summer rains, and...

Tungsten Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

I'd call the Tungsten Sphere a desktop toy, but given its high density--at just about 2" in diameter the sphere weighs over 3 pounds--I'm not sure how much fiddling or stress-relieving palm rolls you'll be able to do...

The Barbarian Bar Tool

If it's barbaric to have all your implements of mad mixologist mastery folded into one simple citrus press of a multi-tool, then ask me, "Conan! What is best in life?" and I'll gladly reply, "Crush your enemies! See them...

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What Do You Meme? Game

$20 - $35 from Kickstarter »

Elliot Tebele, overlord of the famed Instagram account Fuckjerry, has made a pretty natural transition with What Do You Meme? His images and commentary translate seamlessly from work day slacking reading material on the...

5-Pound Bag of Gummi Bears

$11.39 from Amazon »

The best part about a 5-pound bag of Gummi Bears is obviously that it contains approximately 985 Gummi Bears. But the second best part is Haribo's description of those 985 Gummi Bears as "Naturally flavored with balanced...

SkyCurve Platform Swing

$139 from Amazon »

If the SkyCurve Platform Swing can support up to four kids, why is there no talk of all the fun adults such as me and my friend Cornelius can have on it? First of all, the swing's surface looks like a trampoline, and...

Professional Deck Workout Bench

$202.95 - $209.99 from Amazon »

Fly, press, curl, and plyo bench for me, Jane Fonda--or whatever high-strung YouTube workout bunny took over for her--step aerobics for my girlfriend. If I could own only one piece of fitness equipment...well, I would...

Lasko Misto Outdoor Misting Fan

$115 from Amazon »

I never knew--never truly knew--what it was like to be hot--perpetually hot, like, hotter than a nun in a cucumber field all the time--until I moved in with a girl who is interminably cold. It was 94 degrees outside my...

Smart Rope - LED-Embedded Jump Rope

$89.99 from Amazon »

Not since Kris Kross has something made me wanna jump!jump! so bad. The Smart Rope is a jump rope embedded with a strip of LEDs that doesn't just turn your cardio session into a disco, but actually displays your jump...

Private Gym Penis Trainer (NSFW)

$69.99 from Private Gym »

It's the one body part P90X neglects. But before you reach for a Viagra to long-and-strongify your johnson, the Private Gym would like its shot at ripping your penis to shr-...uh.... Maybe I'll go with a different idiomatic...

The Duchess Gaming & Dining Table

Playing board games and sharing a meal seem like two of the very few activities people of all ages still like to do that involve, real, face-to-face, technology-free human interaction*. And BoardGameTables.com is doing...

100% Waterproof Duffel Bag

$149 from Amazon »

The white waters of a raft trip, the salty spray of ocean waves in a kayak, the downpour of summer storms on your Hawaiian vacation. Whether it's expected or arrives WTF-style, when life gives you water, make...sure you've...

Bloody Mary Diagram Glassware

Alyson Thomas is an artist. But she used to be an attorney. So presumably she knows the value of a good, stiff drink made right. Her Bloody Mary Diagram glasses give a shoutout to all of you who worked (i.e., partied)...

Electrical Storm Dual USB Power Adapter

$19.99 from Amazon »

This is what my mama always told me would happen inside my body if I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet. It actually looks pretty cool. If she hadn't also told me it would fry my brains like a skillet of bacon and...

Inventive Travelware Luggage Tags

$5 from Amazon »

Know what's even better than waiting 2 hours to get through security at the airport? Waiting 2 hours to get through security, having a turbulence-filled flight a row in front of a crying baby and kicking toddler, waiting...

The Rings of the Gauntlet of Power

$50 - $1,250 from Shapeways »

Some people find inspiration in nature. Some in music. Or love. Or lust. Jarvis Latteier speaks my kind of inspirational language though, finding his in the universe of Marvel. Here, Latteier has 3D-fabricated his interest...

Ground Meat Chopper

$11.97 from Amazon »

Since any idiot can cook ground beef crumbles on the stovetop, my girlfriend often makes me do it when she's making chili or bolognaise sauce. And then goes all Meat Chunk Police on me, tossing out comments about how...

10 Bit CYCOP BiTool

$39.99 from CYCOP »

CYCOP's BiTool is an everyday carry for cyclists, skateboarders, and loose-and-wobbly-fighting superheros. For the rest of us, it's an everyday tool that we may not need to be ever-present on our person, but would do...

Stone Forest Natural Bathtub

Stone Forest calls their bathtub "Natural" for its raw design, a rugged just-rolled-down-the-mountain aesthetic, rather than the precision-cut and polished-to-cold-industrial-modernity one we might expect from this type...

How to Drive

$15.19 from Amazon »

Holy crap, I can think of, like, five hundred people I want to get this book for. And I know I'll encounter at least 3 to 7 more on my drive to work tomorrow morning. How to Drive: Real World Instruction and Advice from...

Snore Stopper ZZZZZZ Boxing Glove Stick

$15.99 from Amazon »

The Snore Stopper ZZZZZZ Boxing Glove Stick is for all the kind wives who get their husbands a gift for Father's Day. It goes over especially well not as a gift for him to open, but as a surprise gift for him to discover...

Real Partial T-Rex Skeleton

$2.39 million from Theropoda »

Meet Roosevelt. Your new pet T-Rex. Sure, he passed away a little while ago, and his remains have kinda been Frankensteined together from 3 different specimens, and his skeleton and skull are still only about 45% complete--oh...

The Loungr Inflatable Chair

You've seen inflatables. And loungers. And even backpack chairs. Maybe you've even seen the recent sensation that is the inflatable lounger that rolls up into a bag that doesn't even have to be worn like a backpack, but...

Blackstone Griddle Cooking Station

$292.99 from Amazon »

A few days ago I showed you the super sweet Meat Shredding Claws as a super cheap option for a Father's Day gift. Today I pass along the super sweet Blackstone Griddle as a super not-cheap option for a Father's Day gift....

Astral Brewer Sneakers

$90 - $115 from Amazon »

Sneaks and flip-flops: my life for the next 3 months. I love summer. Especially this part of it, the very beginning leading up to the Solstice. It's sunny. It's warm. It's light at 5 a.m. It's light at 9 p.m. And everyone's...

The Time Traveler's Handbook

$17.15 from Amazon »

No, The Time Traveler's Handbook isn't a next generation Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Think less science fiction and more nonfiction. Major events in world history, to be exact. Wait, don't click away yet! I'm pretty...

FoldiMate Robotic Laundry Folder

$700 - $850 from FoldiMate »

Really? Really?! Am I so lazy that I'm willing to spend $800 on a machine that will fold my laundry? Pssshhh! I don't think so....

Hammaka Trailer Hitch Stand

$129.99 from Amazon »

It's not just a trailer hitch-amabob, it's an investment in relaxation. To make good use of a Hammaka Trailer Hitch Stand purchase you'll also need a couple of those hammock hanging chairs (Hammakas themselves, if you're...

Beeracuda Over-the-Shoulder Beer Holder

$19.95 from Amazon »

Sweeeeet! With the Beeracuda I can carry a 6-pack of Yuengling over my shoulder so my hands are free to carry a 12-pack of Bud Light Lime! This insulated beer sling from Burton keeps 5 cans of your favorite brew (or sodie)...

Automatic Toothpaste Dispenser & Holder

$9.99 from Amazon »

It's not that I'm lazy (well, I am, but that's not why I want an automatic toothpaste dispenser) it's that no matter how diligent I am my toothpaste always devolves into a lumpy tube of wasted product with nasty, gummy...

Survivor Rugged Backup Battery

$49.99 from Griffin Technology »

This backup battery took its cue from Beyonce and became a Survivor. Tested to Military Standard 810G and carrying an IP66 water resistance rating, even if you drop, dirty, or douse this charger in the rain, it's not...

Meat Shredding Claws

$14.95 from Amazon »

Second only to my teeth--and probably preferred by the other people at the BBQ--these Claws from OXO shred meat with quickness, efficiency, and panache. Well, as much panache as a eagle's talons or a coupla garden rakes...

Naiad Lawn Watering Robot

Blake Johnson developed the Naiad Lawn Watering Robot concept in 2009, when he was an industrial design student asked to "Identify a problem in yard care and design a product to solve the problem." In his research Johnson...

Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$97 - $108 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

Filzer Buckster Bow Saw

$39.99 from Amazon »

While in the photo above Filzer's Buckster Bow Saw looks like a jagged-bottomed volleyball net, or an upside down shopping cart, or some cumbersome, complex contraption, check out photo #2. A simple, cylindrical tube...

AtmosRX Dry Herb & Oil Vaporizer

$59.99 from AtmosRx »

It seems like vaporizers are heading towards fitness tracker levels of popularity. And just as the former have encouraged tons of people to work out and get in shape, here's hoping the latter convince them to smoke weed...

Milk & Cookies Shots

Now that the Cookie Monster has had his fling with Siri, maybe he can engage the services of Alexa to order him a dozen...or 8 dozen...of Dirty Cookie's Milk & Cookie Shots. I can't wait to see what he gets up to while...

Floaty Pants Hands-Free Flotation Device

$44.99 from Amazon »

It's the 4th of June. You know what that means: time to start ampin' up for the 4th of July! And the rest of the summer swimming, floating, and partying season for that matter. How's about some Floaty Pants to give your...

Star-Shaped Fruit & Veggie Grow Molds

Sold Out from Amazon »

Be the star of the party. Show your patriotism on the 4th of July. Use these molds to grow some lemons and give yourself the gold star you never got from your teachers. (How's that for making lemonade, Mrs. Carlson?)...

Nifty MiniDrive for Macbooks

$33.99 from Nifty »

With precision sizing and shaping, and a perfect color match to your MacBook's trademark silver, the Nifty doesn't want to earn its name as a standout piece of tech, but as one that blends in. Insert the MicroSD card...

LandShark Pound-In Landscape Edging

$12.97 - $17.97 from Amazon »

Obviously I know nothing about gardening or landscape designs...or doing anything with care and precision, really--but I do know that I like the look of this toothy edging. I also like that they use the words "LandShark"...

Wake 'n' Bake Coffee Mug

$49.95 from Amazon »

There are a ton of these wake 'n' bake mugs out there, but I went with the delightful navy blue one you see here because its marketing is genius. Coffee or tea alongside my morning tokes? Pssshhh, F that. Fill that pipe...

The Fortress Luxury Safe

$128,800 from Doettling »

I sure hope German safe manufacturer Doettling's Fortress lives up to its "safest luxury safe in the world" claims because there's no way any owner of one is going to be able to keep it hidden, discreet, or installed...

Pickle Juice Sport Drink

$23.39 from Amazon »

Don't worry. No cucumbers are harmed in the making of Pickle Juice. This briny sports drink is simply packed with pickling ingredients and flavors, plus a few other functional vitamins and minerals, that its creators...