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Schmitz Mittz Super Duty UtilityArmor Gloves

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Schmitz Mittz calls their gloves "hard hats for your hands." These Super Duty versions of their UtilityArmor Waterproof line add abrasion-resistant Kevlar fourchettes* as reinforcement between the fingers (the standard...

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PARKIS Effortless Bicycle Lift

$254 - $317 from PARKIS »

How effortless is it to PARKIS your bicycle? Here's a GIF. Looks like sliding the front wheel onto an elevator and sending 'er to the penthouse. Glide the cab back down to dismount. PARKIS says the process is so simple...

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Knorks

$14.99 from Amazon »

Knork: it's the camping-ready Spork's urban, cutting edge cousin. Here to help you slice and pierce your filet mignon with a single hand and a simple rocking motion. Perfect for the knife-renouncing avant-garde, plus...

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Moody Pet Fling-Ama-String

$36.98 from Amazon »

Nothing beats a hearty laugh had at a cat's expense. Aw, come on. Unlike a cucumber, Moody Pet's Fling-Ama-String is great fun for the kitties too. The battery-operated toy looks a little like a strongman game, but instead...

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The Ring Pipe

$150 from Lindsey Hampton »

The Ring Pipe is like a unicorn poop poppy seed bagel that will get you high. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Lindsey Hampton hand-forms and fires each piece in stoneware and then finishes them in either a blue or pink ombre...

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Avalanche Wheeled Roof Rake for Snow Removal

$129.99 from Amazon »

The Avalanche Wheeled Roof Rake is a tool that reminds me how much I hate doing home maintenance. But since Albie down the street's mama says he's too young to crawl around on my own mama's roof to shovel the snow off...

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Ship in a Bourbon Barrel Decanter

$129.99 from Amazon »

Sloshed at sea, awash in a swell of liquor. It doesn't sound that nice when you say it, but this hand-blown decanter giving a whiskey barrel spin to the class ship in a bottle sure looks pretty alright....

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The Ridge Slim Front Pocket Wallets

$45 - $105 from The Ridge »

Don't let overstuffed, bulging bi-folds infiltrate your pockets! Fight the Costanza Effect! Get on the Ridge! The Ridge slim front pocket wallets highlight 2 EDC must-haves, simplicity and compactness, across a line of...

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Portable Pullup & Dip Bar

$275 - $295 from Pullup & Dip »

January 1. Bring on the pushups and dips. And by pushups I mean these delightful orange hangover cures, and by dips, the leftover guacamole and beefy chili queso to continue the New Year's celebration through NFL Sunday....

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American Bench Craft Dual Snap Key Fob

Originally Kickstarted as a stitchless leather wallet with metal fasteners, American Bench Craft operates out of a Boston workshop filled with hand tools and traditional techniques. Brothers Jason and Chris developed...

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Morakniv Eldris Neck Knife

$24.62 - $29.85 from Amazon »

I'll pass on a knifed neck, but a neck knife? That I will take under consideration. The Morakniv Eldris is a 2.2" 12c27 stainless steel fixed blade, won a "2016 Scandinavian outdoor award" for its functionality, quality...

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Micro USB Rechargeable Lantern

$19.99 from Amazon »

Tiny but pretty damn powerful, Goal Zero's Micro USB Rechargeable Lantern is the perfect little buddy to accompany you home this New Year's Eve when you're too drunk and ambitious / stubborn / blacked out from society...

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Zus Kevlar Charging Cables

$16.99 - $19.99 from nonda »

While they won't make you bulletproof and superpowered like the AdrenaSuit, Zus Kevlar Charging Cables might make you stop wanting to shoot, slam, and telekinetically explode things because your cheap-ass cord tore again....

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Delta In2ition 2-in-1 Shower Head

$148.52 - $173.65 from Amazon »

I like a focused rinse on my man parts in the shower. I bet some of you dudes out there, and especially some of you ladies, would agree. Having both a static and a detachable shower head in the bathroom is a nice little...

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Apocalypse Shovel

$85.95 from Amazon »

Time to bury 2016. Mykel Hawke's Apocalypse Shovel will help you whack, impale, and chop it up on its way into the ground too. A super rugged survivalist's multi-tool, the Apocalypse Shovel V 1.0 incorporates a fixed...

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Shower Beer

By: Snask »

Shower Beer sounds like a bottle of ale-scented novelty soap. Which would be cool. But what Shower Beer really is is even better: a 6-ounce bottle of actual pale ale conceived and packaged to be downed in 3 perfect gulps...

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Collapsible Dice Tower Storage Boxes

$37.61 - $43.95 from Etsy »

Basically Wooden gives you a few different tower options for stashing away your pregnant Lyanna Stark dice, honorable-to-the-death Ned Stark dice, raised-to-be-a-bastard infant dice, and Three-Eyed Raven Bran Stark dice...

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Knuckle Duster Safety Bell

$23.35 from Amazon »

For runners, cyclists, and skaters, the Runbell provides the option of giving pedestrians and other manual motorists in your path polite notice of your presence and passing. So you don't have to yell at them, plow them...

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Brass Pour Over Drip Coffee Maker

$55.13 from Amazon »

Have some industrial-strength coffee from an industrial-designed coffee maker. This brass pour over brewer offers up a pretty slick means of making drip table side with its mug-sized wood base, steampunk-y adjustable...

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AirJamz Bluetooth Air Pick & Music Toy

$39.99 from Zivix »

Pick away at your air guitar and make real music with the AirJamz, a Bluetooth-powered guitar pick that can make riffs and cords, plus drum beats, keyboard runs, and sound effects as you do your best Hendrix charade....

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Jimco Spec Trophy Truck

Trophy Truck Suspension with a Spec V8 engine: time to go off-road with a Jimco Class 6100. Jimco Racing Inc. claims the title of largest off-road race car builder in the world, and has collected enough Builder awards...

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The Princess Diarist

$18.20 from Amazon »

Buns off to the late Carrie Fisher, who could have settled for the acclaim, money, and minion loyalty her star-making role as Princess Leia earned her almost 40 years ago, but instead chose to distinguish herself further...

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FEBO - Draw with the Sun

$44 - $97 from FEBO »

FEBO is your paintbrush, the sun is your watercolor. Your acrylic. Your oil. Well, no. Really still just a big ball of fire, but now your big ball of fire. The clever FEBO design magnifies and focuses the sun's rays such...

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Campfire Defender - Cover, Prolong, or Extinguish

$249.95 from Amazon »

Use the Campfire Defender to safely snuff out your pyre of flames without dumping vats of water and piles of dirt onto it, and without steaming up ash and soot, and leaving yourself with a sopping wet fire pit to tend...

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ARC-NRG PushUp Machine

$199 from Amazon »

I didn't wrap up the ARC-NRG PushUp, stick it under the tree, and and call it a Christmas "gift" for my girlfriend. I simply showed it to her a couple days later, completely innocuously, no judgment in my voice when I...

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myLAB Box - At-Home STD Test Kits

$79 - $285 from Amazon »

As the holiday season comes to an end, myLAB Box would like to invite you to explore just how merry yours was. Did Santa "slip" you any extra "gifts" this year? Did you enjoy one too many ho, ho, hos? The myLAB Box STD...

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Wearable Diaper Bags for Dads

$89 - $99 from DadGear »

A wearable diaper bag for dads may not sound like it wants to be less humiliating than the Daddle dad saddle for all you new papas out there, but I promise you subtlety is DadGear's primary focus with their baby-ready...

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GoJoe Self-Brewing Coffee Mug

$69.99 from Hey Joe Coffee »

In an attempt to address the issues of saving money, supporting green, running late, and being bored, Hey Joe has developed a travel mug that brews its own coffee. The GoJoe is a self-contained purveyor of caffeine that...

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An Anthology of Erotic Pokemon Go Stories

$8.49 from Amazon »

It's hard not to fall into daydreams of bondage and public groping when someone mentions Pokemon Go. Jason Miller, having lost one too many Ivysaurs and Wartortles to visions of dominating them with more than just his...

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FNDN Heated Scarf

$129.95 from Amazon »

I think the day after New Year's should be summer. But since that never seems to happen, I guess being able to stay warm with the FNDN heated scarf until then is an OK consolation. Developed in Detroit, the FNDN ("foun-dey-shuh...

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Otter Wax Water-Repellent Fabric Wax

$13.95 from Amazon »

Wax on, water off. Otter Wax is a canvas wax handmade (and continuously tested) in soggy Portland, OR to repel water from shoes, bags, packs, hats, and jackets. The compound incorporates only natural drip-and-dew-eschewing...

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Diem Duffel Bag

$79.99 from StatGear »

I need a Diem Duffel Bag to carry home all the loot I'm gonna get at my gf's parents house tomorrow morning. And I need that same Diem Duffel Bag to carry it all back to the mall where I'll return it for loot I really...

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GraphicAudio - Movies in Your Mind

$13.99 - $19.99 from GraphicAudio »

GraphicAudio is like the Phantom of the Opera. There. Inside your mind. But with all the organ music and whiny love songs replaced with a real cinematic soundscape of effects and musical score that will transport you...

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iFixit Pro Tech Toolkit

$62.95 from Amazon »

Does it feel like you have "iFixit" stamped across your forehead? Does everyone ask you to fix their computers and troubleshoot their phones just because you wear glasses and T-Shirts that say things like, "There are...

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Tapui Baja Series Rooftop Tents

$1,150 - $1,650 from Tapui »

Car camping. Rooftop car camping with a Tapui Baja Series rack-attached tent. Now that the shortest day of the year is gone, it's like summer is just around the corner. At least that's what I'm going to spend all of January...

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Knitted Dissections

$25 - $105 from Etsy »

Emily Stoneking of aKNITomy would like to welcome you to her "icky and cuddly world of knitted anatomy, where biology no longer smells like formaldehyde, but like your favorite sweater." The artist creates her series...

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Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4/Day

$7.99 from Amazon »

After what I spent on my girlfriend's Christmas present, I'm going to need to know how to eat good and cheap for a long, long while. Leanne Brown took her first steps towards writing Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4/Day...

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Zoomable 60X Monocular & Smartphone Attachment

$37.95 from Sky Innovations »

Time for the annual holiday family photo! Taken this year from 1/4 mile away with a Zoomable 60X Monocular and smartphone attachment! Hook the one-eyed magnifier up to your phone and take its zoom function to DSLR levels...

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The Art of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

$24 from Amazon »

Anymore it wouldn't be Christmas without a new Star Wars movie, and a whole bunch of new Star Wars crap to go with it. Not that I'm knocking The Art of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. It looks like a fine journey through...

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Stiga Snowracer King Size GT Sled

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Stiga calls this sled in their Snowracer series "King Size" because it's big enough for you to hop onto with your kid. Or, you know, by yourself while he waits at the top of the hill and cheers you on. Come on, how many...

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Bushbalm Pubic Hair Oils

$21 from Bushbalm »

Bushbalm is for us men who have spent one too many joyless nights this holiday season sitting around "just talking" and listening to Christmas music with our wives, girlfriends, and online dates, only to realize that...

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Sea Monster Wine Decanter

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Like big Cabs and Chianti ? So does Nessie. And good luck getting her to part with it, even in wine decanter form. Her mouth-blown crystal body with its...uh...erratically undulating?...neck and tail will sure make for...

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Patriot Campers LC79 Super Tourer

$90,660 from Patriot Campers »

The Patriot Campers LC79 is perfect for Christmas Eve when my girlfriend starts freaking out that she forgot the fresh thyme for her stuffing--"and it has to have fresh thyme! It has to!"--and asks me to run out to the...

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Ninja Coffee Bar Glass Carafe System

$169.99 - $199.95 from Amazon »

I've never used the Ninja Coffee Bar Glass Carafe System, or really any Ninja kitchen gear at all--which is surprising given that word pretty much defines my life--but I just noticed that Ninja kitchen and Shark cleaning...

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Primal Pit Paste Natural Deodorant

$9.85 - $11.85 from Amazon »

Ready for an all natural, chemical-free, paleo-approved armpit rubdown? Primal Pit Paste, in addition to sounding formidable and manly, is a deodorant made with only real, organic ingredients, such as coconut oil, baking...

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Tespo Liquid Vitamin Dispenser

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While I wouldn't exactly be stoked to find a Tespo Dispenser of liquid vitamins under the tree this year, I'm sure I'd appreciate having it alongside my Pedialyte and Advil on the morning of New Year's Day. A fast-absorbing...

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BOSEbuild Speaker Cube

$149 from Amazon »

Do your kids know what Bose-quality sound is? You could enlighten them with a luxe Bose speaker system or some Bose noise-cancelling headphones. Or you could encourage them to enlighten themselves with

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Wolverine Meat Claws

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Adamantium is a natural for shredding meat, but I wonder if Wolverine has ever considered using his claws to shred cooked meat. Particularly giant butts of pork grilled slow and smoky on the BBQ, and slathered with sauce...