A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, March 13, 2014
$99 - $249 from Pro-Defense »

Designed originally for law enforcement and military use, Pro-Defense calls their F4 Tactical rail-mounted pepper spray the non-lethal alternative. Which I take to mean getting hit by a solid stream of it is still going to...

Friday, November 8, 2013
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

In a nutshell--so you can start cookin' up how you're going to use the SnuzNLuz or who you're going to give it to without further ado--what you see here is an alarm clock that connects to your online bank account via WiFi...

Monday, March 3, 2014
$27.47 from Amazon »

We've seen dudes with horse head masks and we've seen squirrels with big head feeders, so to complete the triangle of masks and garden critter nourishment, Archie McPhee obviously had to create a Horse Head Squirrel Feeder. I know this line of merchandise is going to get old in 5 or so minutes, but at least for the next 4 my simple mind will be able to profit from some uproarious entertainment....

Wednesday, January 16, 2013
$34.50 from Vaportini »

Those who do not live in Washington or Colorado, I have a consolation inhalation prize for you. A glass globe-and-funnel contraption straight out of the Real Genius chem lab, the Vaportini kit gassifies alcohol into a breathable...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013
$15.99 from Amazon »

Men, removing unwanted back hair is now as easy as putting on a coat! And if you don't believe me, just ask Wilmer Valderrama, who appears to be as big of a Brazilian Back male hair eradicating system fan as he does to be...

Monday, March 31, 2014
$87 from Amazon »

I can hardly stand the anticipation. Game of Thrones. Season 4. Less than a week away. I might pee my pants. Hey! Someone turn off that dragon sink faucet! It's not helping my continence! Hey, wait...a dragon sink faucet? A dragon spewing not fire, but fire's yang? Very profound. And rad-looking. And contributory to my salivating obsession with Daenerys Targaryen, both in its reminiscence of a...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$16.97 from Amazon »

Broadcast your beats to the world from your car with LED equalizer stickers, and broadcast your beats to your mama from the living room with these dancing water speakers. Don't worry, she'll love them. They'll remind her of...

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

While I'd settle for the World's Second Fastest Amphibious Car...or any amphibious car my mama's up for purchasing...the World's Fastest Amphibious Car is definitely my #1 choice. This beauty earns its title, and its insane...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$14,999 from Polaris »

We previously saw the RZR XP 1000, another feral vehicular pursuit by Polaris. It's more of a brutish, free-wheelin' dozer used for good times barreling along the off-roads and across jagged terrain--an ATV stallion. The Sportsman...

Sunday, October 27, 2013
$250k from Lazareth »

Lazareth's Wazuma V8F Matte Edition combines the best of the Germans with the best of the Italians: it's simple, efficient, and knows the most awesome rides in life are experienced at varying degrees approaching horizontal....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$750 from Etsy »

Kayla Lael of Vengeance Designs knows that the highest and best use of latex is for cosplay costumes, and the highest and best echelons of cosplay costumes are intricate, provocative, and reveal large surface areas of ladies'...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$20 - $50 from Society 6 »

Greg-guillemin reigns supreme: Best Paparazzo Ever. I knew Wonder Woman's rack wasn't real. But I have to say, I definitely took it for silicone over Kleenex. Her tissue-molding skills are impressive. Superheros may pick their...

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$8,050 - $10,350 from Waterwolf »

Surfing without the waves. Stand up paddle boarding without the work. Water skiing without the boat. Waterwolf's MXP 3 is an electric surfboard designed to torch through the lazy waters of lakes, bays, bayous, deltas, and...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1, Flamingos...

Monday, January 20, 2014
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

It doesn't connect to an ejection seat or the trap door above a tank swarming with electric eels and Mariah Carey after a 3-day fast, but the Big Red Button rage relief device does provide considerable catharsis for the angry...

Monday, March 17, 2014
$54.18 from Amazon »

Even in a market flooded with the advanced technology of smartphones and swell devices like Iridium's Go Global Hotspot, walkie-talkies persevere. Because, at least for the reigning generation, they maintain one thing these...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$13 from Sleefs »

Are you a superhero with blazing gauntlets, or just a sensible athlete who knows compression sleeves will improve blood circulation and contribute to peak performance? I myself am neither, but do hope Sleefs' Black Fire compression...

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$20 from Amazon »

The Add-A-Lock does one better than the portable intruder alarm: it won't just alert you when your one night stand tries to sneak back into your bedroom to sucker you into a committed, long-term relationship during which she...

Monday, April 7, 2014
$49.69 from Firebox.com »

I hate to throw out a perfectly good dead mouse. It just seems like an anti-climactic payoff for the money I spend on traps and cheese. I'm glad to hear the people of London agree. According to Firebox, mouse taxidermy is...

Monday, December 31, 2012

The Mercier-Jones' Hovercraft can achieve a lift of 8 inches. Wait, don't stop reading! I know that's not an epic flying car, or even Hoverbike, altitude, but consider this: would Big Brother really allow a private company...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$129 from Amazon »

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration of...

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

It's 2.2 pounds--or what the rest of the world calls 1 kilogram--of tactile stimulation and scientific wonderment. While all sand can technically enjoy kinetic activities, Kinetic Sand claims the additional bragging rights...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$99.99 from ThinkGeek »

Bring your doodles to life. Well, except for the animation and biological functionality parts. So more like, give your doodles 3 dimensions, without the added concern of feeding or sending them to private school. WobbleWorks'...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$14.06 from Amazon »

If Dynaflo's Liquid-Armor works, here's some happy news for people whose screens ever have unhappy run-ins with keys, rain, and dust particulates. Packaged in a 10 mL bottle (about 50 sprays), Liquid-Armor applies to smartphone...

Monday, May 13, 2013
$6,800 from Elio Motors »

Just to calm your immediate concerns, yes, the forthcoming Elio will be available in colors other than Ghostbusters Slimer. An American-made, China-priced 3-wheeler, Elio heralds itself as a next-generation personal transporter....

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$42.95 from Amazon »

Anymore, the ability to write is a mere secondary attribute of a great pen. I might want to scribble a note to buy more Fresca every now and then, but mostly I'm using pens like POLAR as anything from a magnetic toy to a protractor...

Wednesday, September 25, 2013
$22,100 from Ebay »

Worn, signed, and sweated upon by Bryan Cranston himself. Also mingled in: the DNA of Jimmy Fallon and Common, whom the Breaking Bad star let take a turn in this Landon Meier Hyperflesh Walter White mask at Comic-Con 2013....

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$48.94 from Amazon »

What kind of mad Japanese scientist concoction is in these Baropacks that makes them boil water with no supplemental heating element? No fire, no gas, no electricity, not even the sun. Now I can make spaghetti & meatballs...

Friday, January 31, 2014
$12,460 from L'ArcoBaleno »

Before you even say it, I agree. $12 grand for the M8, Ron Gilad's "little burly imp" in his IX Mirrors Series?! That's ridiculous! You could make almost the same mirror for a fraction of the cost! Like I said, I agree. So...uh...who...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$24,300 from Ebay »

I had a guinea pig as a young boy. I named him Ruffles because he and I both were somewhat effeminate. They didn't make polished steel scale outfits for guinea pigs back then. And I have to admit, taking in this majestic handmade...

Sunday, July 22, 2012
$39.95 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its projectile...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$450 from Etsy »

This Iron Man crime-fighting-armor-turned-loungewear combines the Avenger's Mark VII and Mark VIII suits. Its chest and shoulders draw from the former, while the elbows and abdomen take after the latter. Awww, it's like Mark...

Saturday, March 22, 2014
$99.95 from Amazon »

The Combat Daddy Equipment diaper bag: no Skoda Man Pram is complete without one. Combat Daddy Equipment's Model 1 carry-all for fathers who drew the short straw and have to take their kids to the park...or stay at home and...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
$11.29 from Amazon »

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing to recruit...

Sunday, January 20, 2013
$55k from hi can »

Italian in both slick aesthetics and siesta-time concept, I exaggerate not when I say the HiCan high fidelity canopy bed will persuade its occupants never to leave its ultra-modern, four-poster confines. HiCan designer Edoardo...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
By: Ablenook

I'm nearly sold on AbleNook, a collapsible housing unit that requires neither appreciable time nor skill to assemble, based on its Kickstarter project's opening quote alone. From Albert Einstein: "We can't solve problems by...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014
$34.99 from Amazon »

Who wants to try the Aquapod bottle launcher in their backyard? It shoots water-filled 2L sodie bottles up to 100 feet in the air with the assistance of nothing but its dock, a bike pump, and your foot. Got a beef with the...

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Dave Hakkens has the perfect cell phone for you. Or rather, he has a Santa Claus sack of bloks you can use to build the perfect cell phone for you. It's called Phoneblok. It's genius. For as many reasons as bloks comprising...

Monday, January 13, 2014
Giveaway: BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammer 126
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: Amazon

Enter to win your very own demo-god, a Wilton BASH unbreakable sledge hammer! We're giving away the biggest of the big boys, a 36" hammer with a heavy-duty 46 HRC, 20lb head (a $220 value)!...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get a flashlight...

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Ambient Glow Technology's Glow Stones combine with concrete--they either mix in freestyle or nestle in methodically--to create everything from illuminated pathways to Fairyland to sculpted lawn ornaments to mood-setting bathroom...

Thursday, September 19, 2013
$50 - $240 from Magic Billet Box »

A Magic Billet represents the assembly of solid, aircraft-grade aluminum and a magnetic locking system. Together, these outstanding components surreptitiously store my stash. Of gum. I have to hide it, you know. Ever since...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$180 - $475 from The Gun Box »

Gun Box has determined that your hand is the only thing that should stand between you and your gun. So buy a Gun Box, and not only will you get a weapon safe that opens exclusively in response to your personal RFID chip, but...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$19.99 from Shot Straws »

First off, let me say that I do not advocate taking shots through a Shot Straw. I advocate taking shots like a real man. However, if the memory of particularly rough night with Minnesotan twins, a ZZ Top fan club, and free-flowing...

Sunday, October 20, 2013
$20k from Optics Planet »

Optics Planet, the same purveyor of hunting, sport optics, tactical, military, and all-around Man Gear that brought us the $24,000 Z.E.R.O. Zombie Apocalypse Kit, is now testing Alpha interest in another supernatural musing:...

Friday, November 29, 2013
$225 - $575 from NinjaBlocks »

The next generation of Ninja Blocks, a hackable tech warrior system enabling users to monitor and control their households from afar, has removed all right angles, increased its functionality, and gone balls to the wall Picard...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their wakeup...

Monday, December 9, 2013
$42 - $4,950 from Etsy »

Paul Bierker is a formally educated designer with a BFA in Jewelry Design and Graphic Design, and a BAMF in handcrafted Star Wars jewelry. Even I might wear a ladies' sapphire and diamond ring if it also looked like the head...

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$1,999 - $2,198 from USU »

The Urban Storage Unit, or USU (pronounced "oooh-sue"), provides up to 1,000 pounds worth of additional storage for people with assigned parking spots in apartment and condominium complexes. Uh, high-end apartment and condominium...

Monday, March 12, 2012
$34.13 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$317.07 from Amazon »

Well I know I like that square beam HD flashlight Bushnell makes so I have similarly high hopes for their Equinox Z, a digital night vision monocular with 6x magnification. The after-dark locating and sightseeing device has...

Monday, February 10, 2014
Giveaway: foc.us tDCS Headset for Gamers 90
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: foc.us

Enter to win the foc.us, a brand new transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) headset. Designed to increase brain plasticity and make synapses fire faster, foc.us aims to whittle gamers' minds into impenetrable fortresses...

Friday, March 14, 2014

You can make all the tender meat jokes you want, but when it comes down to it, you know you like tender meat. I like tender meat. Tender and infused with flavor. Mmmmmm....

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$250k from Icon »

Sometimes I like vintage. Well, vintage aesthetics. Not really vintage functionality. Or the thought of being in my strapping manly prime when now-vintage things were in theirs. Typewriters. Cool to look at. Not cool to use....

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I don't know if a 50,000-volt Tesla coil is powerful enough to play a tag team rendition of "Sweet Home Alabama" like the pair in the above video, but it does radiate enough high-frequency energy to light 2 fluorescent tubes...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$329.99 from Amazon »

I guess since the Dark Knight Rises motorcycle suit pretty much congeals itself to the body of whomever puts it on with nary a pocket to spare, UD Replicas figured they better come out with some sort of supplemental storage...

Friday, February 28, 2014
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

Did you ever know a kid growing up who had, like, full-size Pac-Man and Mortal Kombat arcade games in his basement? You know, the "rich kid"? Boys would go over en masse for tournaments after school and his mom would bring...

Saturday, December 14, 2013
$119.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sometimes for April Fool's Day merchants make up fake products and list them as real products that no one can actually buy and it's hilarious. And sometimes for April Fool's Day merchants make up fake products and list them...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
$36.99 - $59.99 from Calm the Ham »

Geez, 30 permutations of Batman's Bat-Signal from 1940 to 2012. I wish the stale logos of Ford and Chevrolet would take a page out of the progressive DC Comics' book. Maybe then I'd consider buying an American car as seriously...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$28 from Amazon »

VinniBag is the answer to the call of Fra-gee-lay. Case in point: one time, back when I had a sugar mama, I went to Chilean wine country and while going through customs upon returning to my homeland I watched a dude pick up...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$8.99 from Amazon »

Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically a set...

Friday, April 6, 2012
$705 from Serbu Firearms »

The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty...

Sunday, July 28, 2013
By: Skoda

At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it....

Monday, November 4, 2013
Giveaway: Parasite Sunglasses 86
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of Parasite brand sunglasses--any model priced up to $400!...

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$280 from Etsy »

The march towards October 31st continues. The night of ghouls in glowing eyes and dripping blood, and girls in latex and 5" thigh-high boots. Of bodies dead and decaying, and bodies half naked, well-endowed, and making me...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$19.57 - $107.85 from Sexcereal »

SEXCEREAL is the most ingenius display of product spinning and effective branding I've seen since I was 18 months old and my mama transformed spoonfuls of pureed peas into airplanes. Actually, it's even better because it also...