VSSL Outdoor Utility Tubes

$49 - $105 from Amazon »

VSSLs (say "vessel") are cylinders stashed with smaller cylinders stashed with everything you might need to survive and present yourself as functional in the outdoors. The outer tubes are made of waterproof mil spec aluminum...

Aerogel - World's Lightest Solid

Sold Out from Amazon »

Not only is aerogel the world's lightest solid with a composition of 99.8% air (carbon dioxide) and 0.2% silica gel, and not only does it have sick nicknames, such as "frozen smoke" and "blue smoke", but it also has the...

Vodquila

Vodquila. A mix of vodka, tequila, and a first class ticket to a hangover-free Sunday morning. I know they say two wrongs don't make a right and all that crapola, but I don't think that's true for alcohol. Like, I'm pretty...

Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

Cyber Armor

$175 - $695 from Etsy »

Buckle up, boys, it's October 1. The onslaught of sexy Halloween costumes is revving its 400-asspower engine. Segue into the spectacle with a looksee at Spanish designer Boyd Baten's cyber armor. No, wait, I mean Boyd...

Whiskey Bullets

$44.99 from Sip Dark »

Settle down and chill your bullets* with some Bulleit, and settle down and chill your Bulleit with some bullets. Sip Dark, purveyor of fine beverage chilling stones and sipping gear, has created the Original Whiskey Bullet....

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Titanium & Moonglow Ring

Giveaway: Titanium & Moonglow Ring

Enter to win your finger the sleek design and mystical luminescence of an Isotope Titanium & Moonglow ring from Black Badger Advanced Composites (a $325 value!)...

UEV-490 Urban Escape Vehicle

$55,250 from Conqueror Australia »

Conqueror Australia's Urban Escape Vehicle, or UEV, version 490 is one of the best monstrosities I've ever seen. Second maybe only to eleMMent's Land Yacht. The rugged luxury camper is suitable for both on- and off-road...

NES Cartridge Flasks

$19.99 from Amazon »

Want some pixelated vodka? An 8-bit .08 BAC? With these NES cartridge flasks nostalgic favorites like Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt, and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! become portals not only to good time gaming marathons on...

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Haze Vaporizer

Giveaway: Haze Vaporizer

Things I do discreetly: 1) Spit out gristly pieces of chicken after I bite into them; 2) Ball her; 3) Toke up in public. Strawberry and chocolate smoking oils only, of course. Now you can partake in the herbal refreshment...

Halloween Gear Guide

 

Oh boy, it's time to start shelling out your hard-earned cash for a hard-earned night of reckless abandon, mad debauchery, mass sugar and alcohol consumption, and sitting front and center at the Parade of Hot Slutty Girl...

DIY Inside-Out Hard Boiled Eggs

The Golden Goose has already made famous man's power to scramble an egg in its shell, but what if you want to defy and blaspheme the chicken gods even further? Not only whip and muddle their dead fetuses around inside...

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Hand-Eye Supply Tool Kit

Giveaway: Hand-Eye Supply Tool Kit

Hammer it out, nail it down, crack one open, and don't screw it up. With a bandana. Enter to win the nuts & bolts...or, more literally, the saws & hammers...of a lifelong tool kit from Hand-Eye Supply. A $320 value!...

Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain

$12.99 from Amazon »

"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that?...

UZI Defender Tactical Pen

$20.99 from Amazon »

UZI incorporates a few different tools into its Defender line of pens to award them the "tactical" buzzword. This version, the TACPEN6-GM has a glass breaker and handcuff key fitted to its lightweight aircraft aluminum...

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Hacker Stickers Covert Ops Bundle

Giveaway: Hacker Stickers Covert Ops Bundle

Become a master of stealth and intrigue...or just drive your co-workers nuts and gain illicit access to the rooftop of your office building. Enter to win a bundle of budding spy and covert ops gear from Hacker Stickers...

Audio Jammer with White Noise Generator

$116.95 from Amazon »

I'm not a spy and I'm not up to no good. Relatively speaking. But what I am is a man who values his privacy. A man who doesn't need his mama bugging his room with some sensor system she bought off QVC to listen to him...

Make It Rain Cash Cannon

$49.99 from The Cash Cannon »

I've heard the saying "Make it rain" was coined in the strip clubs of Atlanta. This rainmaking enabler called the Cash Cannon, however, appears to hail from New York. Maybe the singles sprayer will create a brotherly...

Echo1 M134 Airsoft Machine Gun

$3,899.99 from Airsplat »

390 FPS, 21-1/2" long barrel, 13-1/2" short barrel, 1,700-round magazine capacity...I don't think I'd even shoot my friend Cornelius in the ass with one of these things to try to get on Tosh.0. The Echo1 M134 MiniGun...

Looper Portable Resort

Looper pods deem themselves portable, eco-friendly, pimped-out resorts modeled after the ultimate pimp mascot: the caterpillar. Yeah...I would've gone with some sort of spiny-backed reptile or ancient dinosaur or Bowser...

GrillTimer BBQ Timing Watch

$40 - $50 from Kickstarter »

Do you dive...your hands into rubs, sauces, slabs of ribs, sides of beef, and the hot coals of the BBQ you're going to use to cook them? Then the GrillWatch could be the perfect timer for just your type of diving. Based...

Kano - Simple DIY Computer

$129 from Kano »

Simple as LEGO, powered by Pi. The Raspberry techie kind, not the 3.14Infinity kind. Or the fruit kind for that matter, but a DIY mini computer powered by flaky-crusted dessert might be the one element to rocket launch...

Where's Walter? Breaking Bad Print

$50 - $150 from Spoke Art »

Nearly 2 years after we thought Walter White sang his swan song, Argentinian illustrator Max Dalton has found him alive and well. Just strolling down the streets of Albuquerque hidden in plain sight. So where's Walter?...

Lotus C-01 Motorcycle

By: Lotus »

The C-01 superbike: guts by Lotus, skin by Holzer, body by Tron. Lotus' new lightweight motorcycle represents a collaboration of people who know what the hell they're doing. The British auto company's limited edition...

Airsoft Tornado Impact Grenade

$90.50 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Pull the pin and let the propane do the rest. When Airsoft's Tornado Impact Grenades detonate, they scatter over 200 plastic 6mm pellets in all 3 dimensions under which your enemies might try to take cover. This means...

The Eviltron

Sold Out from ThinkGeek »

Combining the ethos that nothing is scarier than one's own imagination with the ethos that creeping someone out to the cusp of a complete mental breakdown is great fun, we have...The Eviltron. That strange scratching...

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The Space Jacket

Giveaway: The Space Jacket

When I was a young boy I told my mama when I grew up I wanted to be a spaceman. And instead of saying, "Aww honey, that's wonderful. You can be anything you set your mind to," and then giving me a trophy for eating one...

Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit

$1,680 from Her Royal Flyness »

I am drawing this Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit to the world's attention only so that if anyone sees a woman carrying a bluish-greenish colored purse you'll know to report her immediately to a shrink, the police, and Batman....

Sound Activated LED Car Sticker

$13.89 from Amazon »

If you're looking for a way both to obstruct 90% of the view out of your back windshield and provide a beacon to po searching for cars to pull over, I am pleased to offer you one of AGPtek's bumpin' & grindin', sound...

Invisaband Mosquito Repellent Bracelet

$29.99 from Amazon »

Mosquitos may love your blood, but do they love it enough to wade through a shield of...dun, dun dun!...geraniol to suck it? If I remember correctly, geraniums are the dapper flowers my mama used to keep in her sunroom....

Tentsile Stingray Tree Tent

$675 from Tentsile »

Here's a tip about stingrays: if you fear getting slapped or impaled by one while walking across the ocean floor, shuffle along the sand instead of taking normal steps. Rays like to lay low, and your disturbance of the...

FIN - Numeric Keypad & Gesture Interface Ring

$99 - $169 from Fin »

FIN is a thumb ring. It's way less intimidating than a pinky ring, but if intimidation isn't your primary motive, FIN can do several hi-tech, gadgety things, some of which you may find even more useful than making the...

Glow Stones

Ambient Glow Technology's Glow Stones combine with concrete--they either mix in freestyle or nestle in methodically--to create everything from illuminated pathways to Fairyland to sculpted lawn ornaments to mood-setting...

Bug-A-Salt Exterminating Shotgun

$59.50 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its...

The Fusion Wallet

$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

MiracleFold Laundry Folder

$24.99 from Amazon »

No matter how easy this contraption makes folding a shirt, unless the task has just been completed by a paraplegic, I think it's a bit of an overstatement to assign it "miracle" status. That word should really be reserved...

Roo Balls Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Openers

$26.99 - $29.99 from Roo Balls! »

Want to be a true baller? Then grab that Triple IPA and crack it open with the scrotum of a Red Kangaroo. Or an Eastern Grey. Roo Balls turns (humanely and legally acquired*) castrated kangaroo bits into beer and wine...

Meteorite & Dinosaur Bone Rings

$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves...

Falcon Slingbows

$135 - $300.95 from Falcon Slingbows »

Rattlin' Randy Riffenburgh owns the dual titles of Falcon Slingbow Creator and Falcon Slingbow Sniper. He developed the patent-pending, arrow-shooting slingshot for hunting, fishing, and target shooting. And he reigns...

HOLHO - Smartphone Hologram Generator

$38 - $530 from HOLHO »

HOLHO. It's like a portmanteau of Holla! and Jai Ho! And the contraption is an Italian design, so we've got some real cultural diversity going on here in the world of holograms. A pyramid-shaped structure that sits on...

Earin - World's Smallest Headphones

$200 from Earin »

I wasn't aware there was a competition to create the World's Smallest Headphones, but apparently Earin has been proclaimed--or proclaimed itself--the winner. The Swedish company says their wireless earbuds are the absolute...

$10 Million Human Regenerator for Anti-Aging

$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin...

Panny Key Block

$14 - $19 from Panny »

I've seen a Veruca Salt-sized Santa Claus sack of wallet and keychain "innovations" over the past few years, and while Panny may not turn the world on its head like the Coin card consolidator, it's definitely making a...

Ceramic Escape Knife

$15 from Gearward »

While it's a tough reality to face, the truth is that most of us don't have Liam Neeson on call to stage a rescue in the event of an abduction. So it's a good thing we do have people like Mark Greenman out there to take...

Z.E.R.O. - Zombie Apocalypse Kit

$23,999 from Optics Planet »

OK, zombiologists, conspiracy theorists, slaves to sci-fi, and keepers of the Boy Scout motto, it's time to put your $24,000 where your mouth is. OpticsPlanet has assembled a stunning and formidable sprawl of zombie apocalypse...

Coyote Face Pet Harness

Discontinued

I don't know whether that cat looks more pissed that someone put a harness on him or that the face of the coyote he just gutted and ate from the inside out when it tried to swallow him whole is still stuck to it....

Rolo Space-Saving Travel Bag

$49.99 from Amazon »

With the exception of rich, chewy caramel you can pretty much stuff the Rolo with anything you want to take on your travels and trust that the portable wardrobe will condense the items into their most compact, most portable...

Suspend - Abstract Jenga

$14.99 from Amazon »

If Jenga is Kermit, Suspend is Animal. If Jenga is Taylor Swift, Suspend is Bjork. If Jenga is an apple, Suspend is this apple. I think you get the drift. Suspend is a Jenga-like balancing game that takes the straightforward...

PancakeBot Pancake Printer

$179 from Kickstarter »

Turn a Picasso...or your own boobie scribbles...into edible, delectable art with the PancakeBot, the world's first pancake printer, and the world's latest entirely unnecessary invention! Mama! I'm tired of circles and...

Steampunk Warrior Leather Armor

$700 from Etsy »

You say you dig steampunk culture, but do you dig it enough to live it? Like, when you receive the invitation to your golden boy cousin Dickie's wedding with the "Black Tie" designation stamped across it, do you head...

Float Levitating Table

$10k - $20k from Rock Paper Robot »

Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...

The kidRunner

$1,200 from kidRunner »

Are you a runner...with kids? Kids you strap in a stroller and take jogging with you, even though months of doing this has hunched your back, rounded your shoulders, and generally F'd up your form? More importantly, have...

Star Wars on Earth Prints

Stirring scenes from American history, meet stirring scenes from American sci-fi. This set of 4 Star Wars prints from Thirteenth Floor pits some of the Empire's worst villains against some of our own greatest war heroes....

Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie

$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

The Baby Muzzle

$149.99 from Japan Trend Shop »

First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...

HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

Super Shorty Shotgun

$705 from Serbu Firearms »

The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty...

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Tactile Turn Metal Pen Set

Giveaway: Tactile Turn Metal Pen Set

So what if I still scrawl like a 5-year-old, and am so unaccustomed to hand writing stuff anymore that my hand cramps after 3 minutes of holding a pen? I still love them. And steal them from every hotel, restaurant, and...

Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

Lunar Legacy Combat Sword

$26.99 from Amazon »

I love the Amazon Q&A sections. Because, like another potentially interested party, I too was wondering if the Lunar Legacy would be a good sword for battle or just display. Three current owners responded, with two of...

Round Cryptex USB Flash Drive

$49.95 from Amazon »

Slice the cylinder and make it a circle. Stanislav Tatarinov previously created this sweet Cryptex USB flash drive, a functional puzzle with rotating Cryptex rings and numbers whose user-set code slides out a 16GB memory...

Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

Pocketcopter - World's Smallest Flying Camera

$115 from indiegogo »

One way to take rad photos at unique angles is to climb on furniture and scale trees and hang from power lines. That's what Thomas, Mike, and Ricardo used to do. Until they broke one too many lamps and bones, at which...

Ghostbusters Ghost Trap Phone Case

$26.04 - $35.40 from Red Bubble »

I don't know. My phone acts possessed enough without a Ghostbusters ghost trap encasement. The last thing I need on top of frozen screens, 30-minute battery lives, and misfired text messages sent via my right butt cheek...

Narwhal BBQ Skewer Set

$34.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

While the narwhal is finally growing in popularity, I can't understand why it's always been eclipsed by the stupid unicorn. From little girls' imaginary friends to disturbing Halloween (or wedding!) masks to unicorn poop...