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s1 Pepper Spray Gun by Salt Supply Co.

$349.99 from Salt Supply »

A home is broken into every 14.6 seconds and almost a quarter of the time, a family member is home. So make sure when you're Home Alone this holiday season, you're ready for whatever with the s1 Pepper Spray Gun by Salt...

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Fake Tampon Flasks

$19.98 from Amazon »

Mmmm, boy. Who wants an illicit Bloody Mary? I don't care how thirsty I might be at a dry college football game, show, or church service, I don't think I could take a swig of anything out of a tampon. Even a fake tampon...

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Brass Honcho Armored Flashlight

$39.98 from Brass Honcho »

Reduce, reuse, recycle may not be Brass Honcho's mantra, but when you buy one of their flashlights made from a real machine gun bullet you can still feel good about doing your part to eliminate some of the world's waste....

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Bookniture - Furniture in a Book

$86 from Amazon »

You don't need to know how to read to dig in to this book. Open the pages of Bookniture, and where you might normally find a Tolkien story you'll instead encounter an entire stool or side table Gandalf-ed into existence....

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X15 Flamethrower

$1,599 - $1,750 from Throwflame.com »

People typically use flamethrowers to clear brush and weeds. And just like that, for the first time in my life I cannot think of anything I'd rather do today than go clear me some brush and weeds. In addition to disintegrating...

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Boob Cube

$9.99 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

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Sven-Saw 21" Folding Saw

$37.99 from Amazon »

Low in weight, high in strength, and bendy as a Russian gymnast, the Sven-Saw is a rugged outdoorsman's tool whose blade folds away into a safe and compact strip when not in use. This model has a 21" Swedish steel blade...

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Inspired Designs Ferrofluid Sculptures

$25 - $150 from Inspired Designs »

Ferrofluid represents the glorious union of science and beauty. Of visual art and tactile interaction. Of workplace boredom and sweet desktop toys. Inspired Designs head inspirer, Kyle Haines, creates his ferrofluid displays...

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Solo Stove Bonfire

$249 from Solo Stove »

Solo Stove's latest release, the Bonfire backyard firepit, is one of the hottest campaigns on Kickstarter right now. At printing it was flaming with over $200,000 in backer pledges, smoking its $15,000 funding goal and...

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Grenade Grips Arm Rippers

$23.99 from Amazon »

Grenade Grips are like Fat Gripz, except way cooler on account of the fact that they are (loosely) shaped like grenades. At least that's what the people who make them would have you believe. If you're looking to increase...

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Climball

While I don't care much for combined physical and mental challenges--or really either one on its own--I'm a total sucker for things that glow in the dark. And video games. And American Ninja Warrior. All of which, along...

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The Safety Case Complete Kit

Seems like a safety case would contain things like a flashlight, a fire starter, and a glass breaker, maybe an EpiPen and an 18,000,000-volt Sting Ring. But instead of these things Black Rock Originals' Safety Case carries...

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The USB Kill 2.0 Computer Killer

$49.95 from USB Kill »

If you're using a USB Kill stick you're either pen-testing, trashing your old PC for recycling, or being very, very...very evil. Come on now, I know he cooks eggs in the staff room microwave, and eats beef & bean burritos...

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Smokemiester BBQ Smoker Grill Converter

$99.95 from Amazon »

Holy smokes...miester! A Weber, a hole saw, and a coupla Bud Light Limes on a Saturday afternoon, and my Bru-BQ Wayne kettle grill becomes a Bat-Smoker too! The Smokemiester BBQ Smoker converts any covered grill into...

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Waterproof Sport HD Video Camera

$49.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

This waterproof Sport HD Video Camera is on sale for $49.99, down from $289.99 for a limited time, which probably means it has been upended by a newer version or discontinued. Or is of mediocre quality. But it also means...

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Nixie Tube Watch

$758.67 from Etsy »

Nixie analog watch faces and Nixie boring, flat digital displays. Readouts from cold cathode neon gas indicators are how I want to wear my time now. I've seen Nixie tubes turned into desktop clocks before (here, for example)...

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DJI Mavic Pro Foldable Drone

$999 from Amazon »

DJI is sending a new Mavic to Top Gun and he's looking for a Gos. You in? The Mavic Pro is a folding drone powerful enough to fly at 40MPH for 25+ minutes and buzz the tower when permission is denied. Precise enough to...

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Suncast Wood & Resin Deck Box

$129.19 from Amazon »

As if the end of summer isn't depressing enough, now I have to figure out where to store all of my patio furniture cushions and floating pool bars for the winter. Since everyone thinks I'm the master of looking up crap...

Everyday Carry: Carbon Fiber Edition
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Bird of Prey Bicycle

$4,200 from Bird of Prey »

I didn't think the foam helmets and seizure-inducing neon spandex could look any more ridiculous rolling down the road, yelling at cars to get out of their lane, and then cutting into traffic at will when it suits them...

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Convertible Bean Bag Chair Bed

$259.99 from Amazon »

A full-size bed that pulls out of a bean bag chair: sweet. A full-size bed you have to stuff back inside a bean bag chair when you're done with it: hope you didn't have plans this weekend. I'd rather carry a couch 5 blocks...

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R2-D2 Coffee Press

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Get Beep-bee-bee-boop-buuuzzzzzzed with the R2-D2 coffee press. How could Star Wars geekery not lay its stamp on French-style caffeine extraction? The cylindrical shape of the classic French press is perfect. And what...

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Wally BiFold Wallet

$39.99 from Distil Union »

Leather is nice, but not when a fat wad of it is bulging out of your pocket and making it difficult to walk, sit, and...get your wallet out of your pocket. The Wally is a slim bifold wallet that eliminates excess slots...

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Measured Olive Oil Dispenser

$34.99 from Amazon »

Typically talking to me about "portion control" makes me feel very cheated and melancholy, but I actually don't like a ton of dressing on my salads or oil in my stir fries. I also don't like trying to measure out a teaspoon...

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Phantom Skull Decanter

$19.95 from HomeWetBar.com »

I'm not sure the skull in this decanter is so much a phantom as it is a piece of glass blown inside a bottle. But you don't have to tell your kids that when you warn them about what Skully McSkullface will do to their...

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Star Wars Misters

$24.95 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Steam up the room with the Dark Side this Halloween. This Darth Vader and Stormtrooper bear no Fun Size Twix bars or mini boxes of Milk Duds, but they do come with a special misting treat. Add water to the included mist...

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You're Saying It Wrong

$10.12 from Amazon »

Why let minor errors slide or take a potayto-potahto stance on pronunciation when You're Saying It Wrong can make it so much more fun to call someone out for being a linguistic idiot? A grammar Nazi's and general know-it-all's...

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Presidential Knife Fight: The Game

Let me just address 2 points about Presidential Knife Fight: The Game up front. 1) It's a card game, not some Mortal Kombat-Pokemon Go hybrid that lets you find and collect past American Presidents to duke it out with...

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Kamp-Rite Double Tent Cot

$179.95 from Amazon »

A double Kamp-Rite Tent Cot?! Now that's a fine looking piece of sleeping dry and critter-free amidst the glory of nature and a liter of hooch. But my girlfriend hates camping. I only go with my friend Cornelius and...

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Paqui Carolina Reaper Madness Chip

Sold Out from Paqui »

Betcha can't eat just one. Maybe not even one bite. Paqui says its Carolina Reaper Madness Chip is made with the hottest chile pepper on earth, and possibly in all the circles of hell. It's so hot they package them in...

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Hardcore Survivalist Hatchet

$135 from Amazon »

What's in a name? If you're the Hardcore Survivalist Hatchet, at least enough to get me to click on you when I see you in my Amazon search results. I hope a 19-ounce head and 18" American Hickory curved handle will make...

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Elysium Weightless Chair

The Elysium Chair is the result of an equation defining posture and gravitational force. I think that's the math geek way of saying it's reeeeeeeal comfortable. So comfortable, it will simulate weightlessness when you...

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Chris Maynard Feather Art

Chris Maynard's father was an eye surgeon. Chris inherited his manual dexterity. His precision. His patience. He also inherited his father's tools. But instead of becoming an ophthalmologist, he decided to use them to...

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The Beauty of Horror: A GOREgeous Coloring Book

$11.22 from Amazon »

Adult coloring books have experienced a recent surge in sales as meditative and therapeutic outlets. But how the H-A-Double-Hockey-Sticks-O-W-E-E-N does The Beauty of Horror think I'm supposed to calm down and relieve...

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Webcaster Trigger-Fed Cobweb Gun

$55 from Amazon »

If your spidey sense is telling you stringing that clump of cotton into a spooky front porch crypt of cobwebs is going to take 'til next Halloween, believe it. And have a comparative look at the Webcaster trigger-fed...

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Snowflake Nano Drone

$34.99 from Snowflake Drones »

I can't give it the name it deserves since George Lucas would throw a temper tantrum, but I can say that this is the drone you've been looking for. And for a limited time you can get it for 65% off. Bleep bloop-bloop...

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WineOvation Bowling Pin Electric Wine Opener

$29.99 from WineOvation »

Dude, WineOvation abides. When you've had enough of the twisting and pulling and shredding of corkscrews, grab their Bowling Pin Electric Wine Opener, step back, and say, "F*ck it, Dude. Let's go bowling."...

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Dragon's Breath Pyro Trick Powder

$18.99 from Amazon »

Been looking for the perfect Halloween costume...for your shotgun? I don't think Dragon's Breath Powder promotes itself as the ideal filling for 12-gauge ammo, but there's clearly no stopping resourceful minds with too...

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Star Wars Force Band

$79.99 from Amazon »

As Rogue One readies to flash back in the Star Wars timeline, you've got the opportunity to flash back in the IRL timeline (but, uh, forward in the Star Wars timeline) to The Force Awakens, and Sphero's 2015 BB-8 app-enabled...

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The SkyRunner

$139k from The SkyRunner »

The SkyRunner is an ATV built to tackle any trail. Attach a parachute to the sides of its frame and it becomes a personal aircraft built to take off and fly when the trail runs out. Yep, nothing much to see here....

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Forseti Damascus Steel Knives

$69.99 - $117.99 from Forseti Steel »

The secret to forging authentic Damascus steel knives has long been lost, but Forseti Steel stays as true to the tradition as they can by commissioning smiths with Damascus ancestry to hand make all of their blades. The...

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Sleeping Bag Chair

Someone please tell me this is the new proposed design for airplane seats. The Cocon is an armchair with an integrated sleeping bag. Designed by Celine Merhand and Anais Morel of Les M, the piece endeavors initiate "maximum...

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Muzik One - The Smartphone of Headphones

$299 from Amazon »

Been thinking about slapping a coupla smartphones to your ears to enhance your listening experience? Muzik One just stole your idea. The so-called Smartphone of Headphones combine high-fidelity, noise-cancelling playback...

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Muzo - Personal Zone Creator & Noise Blocker

$159 from indiegogo »

Muzo uses anti-vibration technology to turn the world off. (Makes sense, given the number of other devices that use pro-vibration technology to turn the world on--VibeRider, anyone?) At approximately the size and shape...

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iPhone 7 Razor Armor Shockproof Case

$21.99 from ZeroLemon »

My friend Cornelius is about to crap his pants waiting for his Jet Black iPhone 7 to ship. I told him he better have a armored case waiting when he opens it so he doesn't butter finger it right out of the box or hug it...

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Stanley Classic Flask

$16 - $39.98 from Amazon »

If Paul Bunyan and Don Draper were sharing some hooch around the campfire, I bet the Stanley Classic Flask in Hammertone Crimson is what they'd use to tip it back. And so would I....

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Yosegi Japanese Puzzle Boxes

$23.95 - $263.49 from Amazon »

Yosegi Puzzle Boxes suggest that the best way to dissuade petty thieves and nosy family and co-workers is to make them think. Developed during the Edo Period (early 17th to mid 19th century), these Japanese stash holders...

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SipDark Whiskey Bullets

$24.99 - $49.99 from SipDark »

SipDark bullets aren't for shooting, so put down the Cuervo and grab the Knob Creek. The 3- or 6-round set of Whiskey Bullets adds a bit of rocks and a lot of steel to any sipping liquor you prefer straight up and chilled....

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Sting Ring

$22.95 from Amazon »

Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...