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Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault

$8.41 from Amazon »

"Toddlers are a**holes. It's not your fault." I'm having a sudden flashback to my childhood, a resurgent memory of those words. Being spoken to my mama. Over and over again. Weird...

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adidas Predator Tango 18+ Indoor Shoes

$168.99 - $180 from Amazon »

The original intent of the adidas Predator design, conceptualized by the former Aussie footballing great Craig Johnston (who I've never heard of) was to give an increase to the friction between boot and ball via rubber...

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Cold Therapy Massage Roller Ball

$39.95 from Amazon »

I have one of these Stinger Cold Therapy Massage Roller Balls from Recoup Fitness, and let me tell you, I have not felt anything so cold since I bumped into my ex-girlfriend Karen at the grocery store last month. And...

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SIXOVERONE 6-Pack Bottle Opener

$25 from SIXOVERONE »

The dudes (and they have to be dudes) behind SIXOVERONE know their 6-pack bottle opener is pure novelty gift, and a non-necessity to the beer-drinking world. On their website they crack as many jokes about their kitschy...

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NES Cartridge Pillows

$22 - $35 from Etsy »

Have sweet dreams of the good ol' days atop these retro NES cartridge pillows. The Pimp My Pillow Store prints old school Nintendo Classic and Super Nintendo game labels onto gray pillows also printed to imitate the respective...

Radio-controlled tanks that fire actual BBs? Glass sliding doors beware. These RC tanks, which I don't even know how they're allowed really in this day and age but I'm glad they are, are modeled after some of the most iconic tanks utilized in our most iconic wars...

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Osaka Thermal Shock Proof Coffee Mug

$12.99 from Amazon »

The Osaka coffee mug isn't Japanese, but it did get its name from the city on Japan's Honshu island, whose bumpin' coffee shops and brewing techniques inspired the makers of this unique, glass-based line. The cup is made...

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Vampires Vs. Unicorns: Floor War Boxed Card Game

$34.95 from Amazon »

It's a new kind of War. A Floor War pitting vampires against unicorns in a new throwing card game from Yumfactory. The party-ready box set almost takes a jab at typical fantasy-themed board and card games, with its snooty...

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SkyTechSport Ski & Snowboard Simulators

$23,900 from SkyTechSport »

For serious Olympic ski and snowboard hopefuls, gym, or recreational hitters of the slopes with a ton of money, SkyTechSport has a Sick. Schtick. Their ski simulators provide a fully immersive VR experience that doesn't...

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HomeBiogas 2.0 - Convert Food Waste to Energy

$520 - $790 from HomeBiogas »

In a way, we all produce HomeBiogas right inside our amazing bodies. And I don't mean that just as a Beavis & Butthead joke (though, check out the biogas I'm making from these chili cheese jalapeno nachos, Beavis. Hehheh...

Stocking a home bar might be the only household chore on earth I would describe as "joyous." From glassware for beer, wine, and whiskey, to the bottle opening, cork-pulling, cocktail-shaking tools of the bartending trade, I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday morning than amping up my...

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Duke Cannon Big Ass Beer Soap

$19.59 from Amazon »

When all you want is a big ass beer, but your lady says all you need is big ass shower, Duke Cannon's Big Ass Beer Soap gives her instant gratification, and you the pleasure of dousing the outside of your body with what...

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Alaska Bear Silk Pillowcases

$22.99 - $44.99 from Amazon »

Cue the Alaska Bear-y White because these silk pillowcases have romance written all over their 600 thread count. Bonus: The 100% mulberry silk covers are just as hypoallergenic and breathable for sleepy time as they are...

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Sudski - Shower Beer Holder

$14.99 from Amazon »

Few things are better than getting away from my girlfriend for 15 minutes, and the shower is the perfect place to do that. There are so many things to do in there. Let's add drinking beer to the list. Unfortunately, her...

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Scorpion Knuckles

Ahhh, a gift fit for a Scorpion King. Present these Scorpion Knuckles to Mathayus, and you should get a hearty Dilly, dilly! in return...

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Porsche Design Shisha 2.1

$2,695 from Amazon »

Take a luxury toke with Porsche Design's Shisha 2.1. Kind of ironic that a company known for creating some of the fastest cars on the planet would also make a hookah, and foray into the world of that which makes everything...

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Gun Shaped Knife with LED Light

$16.95 from Etsy »

Pull the trigger on this gun and get a slash instead of a bang. Ruck Gear makes and engraves gun shaped pocket knives to order, with initials, names, or other text, in your choice of font. They're a simple, but still...

If you have any kind of bucket list, Gift Republic probably has a bucket list scratch-off poster for you. Each piece in the series of 23" x 16-1/2" trackers contains 100 silver-covered boxes with the name of a place under it. Or an album. A movie, a book, or a TV show. When you check one of them...

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Bruce Lee Fanatiks Series Action Figures

Fanatiks brings us these officially licensed Bruce Lee collectible action figure. Each figure in the series stands 6 inches tall and has four points of articulation. The action figures come in four different iconic Bruce...

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Crock-Pot Swing & Serve Triple Slow Cooker

$66.99 - $88.99 from Amazon »

Rats! I wish I'd gotten Crock-Pot's Swing & Serve Slow Cooker for Super Bowl Sunday. I bet the Patriots feel the same way about the Vince Lombardi Trophy. At least for me it's not too late...

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Morbid Curiosities: The Uncommon & the Bizarre

$27.70 from Amazon »

Craniometer for your coffee table? Morbid Curiosities: Collections of the Uncommon and the Bizarre caters to those fascinated by the macabre. By the occult. By death. And I'm not talking the cartoonish, whimsical, Beetlejuice...

Some of you are gearing up to watch the Winter Olympics, and root on their athletes - PyeongChang 2018 starts on February 7. And some of you are gearing up to watch the Winter Olympics, and...judge their athletes. Make comments about how that ski jump didn't look so hard, and you could probably kill...

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Special Ingredients Shitzlinger Action Pack

$15.96 from Amazon »

I'm not sure whether Shomer-Tec's Special Ingredients line of products are more prank or more spy. Maybe they fall somewhere in between. In case you're not familiar with these products, they come in vials filled with...

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Adidas NMD_CS1 GTX Primeknit Sneakers

$160.81 - $382.23 from Amazon »

Adidas' NMD_CS1 GTX Primeknit sneakers are made with a 100% waterproof GORE-TEX lining, so even though I'll trash their pristine white Primeknit upper within the first 15 minutes of stepping outside in the shoes, it will...