Hand Knit Adult Onesies

$304.84 - $937.97 from Etsy »

Happy Monday, cold people and penitents ready to level up your hair shirts! Strickolino has some hand knit adult onesies for you. Super chunky hand knit adult onesies. Like, chunkier than Skippy Extra Crunchy, the pico...

ClimbStation Climbing Wall Treadmill

Uh, is the ClimbStation climbing wall treadmill a sporting good or a nightmare? A fun way to stay fit and simulate rock climbing indoors, or the conveyor belt of vertical horror in the REM sleep I can't wake up from?...

Ninja Bandages

$8.83 from Amazon »

Trade kissing for Hi-yah!-ing to make it better with these most excellent Ninja Bandages. Which are most definitely not just for kids...

LEGO Building Brick Pillows

$19.25 from Etsy »

The first LEGOs ever that won't make you wince and recoil in pain if you step on them! In fact, foot contact with these plush-stuffed LEGO pillows is encouraged. Arm, back, and butt contact too...

Philips Somneo Connected Sleep & Wake-up Light

$219.95 from Amazon »

Philips calls their Somneo Connected "the wake-up light designed to help you sleep." More than just a sunrise-simulating alarm clock, this light therapy lamp has built-in sensors to measure the temperature, noise, light...

The Illustrated Compendium of Ugly English Words

$17.79 from Amazon »

Imagine the sick pleasure Tyler Vendetti and Rebecca Pry took in writing and illustrating The Illustrated Compendium of Ugly English Words: Including Phlegm, Chunky, Moist, and More. Just knowing the sick pleasure we...

Le Creuset Star Wars Cookware Collection

$20 - $900 from Le Creuset »

Han Solo, poor bastard. First Vader froze him in Carbonite, and now fancy French cookware company Le Creuset has cooked him in cast iron. Coming November 1, 2019, to a very tiny part of a galaxy only as far, far away...

Winnebago Solis Pop-Top Camper Van

$100,667 from Winnebago »

The Winnebago Solis is coming to a road trip near you in 2020. Winnebago is profiling their pop-top camper van as an "all-weather" traveler as suitable for "cruising beachside [as it is] camping slope-side."...

Bob Ross Bingo

$21.99 from Amazon »

Holy happy little trees! How munch money are people making off Bob Ross these days? Bob Ross Bingo now? Yes indeed. Bob Ross Bingo. With cards for up to 16 players, and 42 different Bob Rossisms and Rossian friends decking...

Nail Fungus Repair Pen

$17.97 from Amazon »

Gah! Gah! Gah! This nail fungus repair pen is fine, great even, in and of itself, but Puriderma's Proof That It Works! photos? Gah! Gah! Gah! I'm about to lose my lunch, and I haven't even had lunch yet today. Toenails...

I compiled a list of the best Halloween candy for adults because I figured some of you, like me, would want something more than just sugar-dipped sugar with a gooey sugar center to pair with your candy corn Jell-O shots and bloody eyeball martinis. For example: sugar-dipped sugar with a gooey sugar...

E8: What Is This Thing?

$19.99 from Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 8 of What Is This Thing?, a photographic feature of a product whose purpose isn't obvious at first glance. I'll include some hints below to help you sleuth out the answer. It's really fun. A barrel...

Cooking Essentials Travel Kit

$28 from Amazon »

A pinch of salt here, a square of foil there, a fat douse of sriracha on top - it's a gourmet meal in Room 204 at the Motel 6 thanks to the Cooking Essentials Travel Kit from Dash Provisions. Really?...

Throw Throw Burrito Dodgeball Card Game

$49.12 from Amazon »

Card games, whatever. But burritos and dodgeball together? Like, at the same time, not the one as a consolation prize for getting pummeled in the face with the other? Throw Throw Burrito, I'm listening. You have, like...

Blue Cheese Lollipops

Should I have filed Blue Cheese Lollipops under the Gross instead of the Candy category? I guess it depends on how you feel about blue cheese. And lollipops. About mixing sweet and savory. About stinky suckers. About...

Shut The Fucupcakes Wipes

$6.99 from Amazon »

What the fucupcakes did I just get all over my hands? Is this batter? Mud my wife's cousin's dog tracked into the kitchen? POO my wife's cousin's kid shat in the kitchen?!...

Virtual Mate - Worlds' First Virtual Intimacy System

$169 - $199 from Virtual Mate »

Virtual Mate is preparing to release some very slick - like, Astroglide slick - new technology on us. Self-described as "the world's first virtual intimacy system," Virtual Mate is a hyper-realistic VR sex game for your...

September just stormed in and snipped the ever-loving vas deferens off of summer, didn't it? The only good thing about the month of September was that, since it contains the start of fall, the first day of school, and the initial weeks-long amp-up to Halloween, we saw a lot of new products come out...

Bottle Bright - Water Bottle Cleaning Tablets

$8 - $20.18 from Amazon »

Bottle Bright water bottle cleaning tablets are pretty useful. I know because I have some. They were a gift. From my wife. But given that a couple weeks ago I saw her pick up my water bottle, and then recoil and nearly...

Haven Tent - Sleep-Flat Hammock

$285 from Kickstarter »

As cozy and swingin' as hammocks are, a true suspended Haven in the woods probably wouldn't try to treat you like a caterpillar, or a dead Egyptian, with walls that collapse in on you, and a base that sags under your...

Dinosaur Baby Mobile

$125.84 from Etsy »

Sweet dreams are made of these: dinosaurs! T-Rex, stegosaurus, and brontosaurus, to be precise. Sweet dreams are also made in Canada, home of the Dinosaur Baby Mobile's felt crafter, Kristina Turchyn...

Chip Fingers Finger Covers

$12.99 from Amazon »

I like storing some flavor for later under my fingernails and in my cuticle beds as much as the next dude, but Chip Fingers might be a useful tool for the times I have to hand out papers in work meetings, or touch my...

Millennium Falcon Blueprint

$18.50 - $54.50 from Amazon »

Commercial airlines can suck it, and even private jets and Santa's sleigh have nothing on the sweet ride these Millennium Falcon blueprints will help me build for my holiday travels this year. Over the river and through...

HiBed Italian Smart Bed

HiBed. How's it going? Now that I've climbed into your 4-poster pen, started dinking around with your 4K projector with surround sound speaker system and retractable 70" screen, your built-in ambient and path lighting...