A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, December 7, 2012
$39.95 from Homemade Gin »

Mommy, where does gin come from? Vodka, Bobby. Gin comes from vodka. At least if it's homemade. Shunning expensive, and possibly illegal, distilling equipment, the Homemade Gin Kit allows those who possess it to create intoxicatingly...

Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting its aromatic emissions. Crank it up to 11, Baby G! Available in black and white short sleeved, legless onesie models, the iPood surely has to be the first in a series of Apple...

Sunday, March 3, 2013
$36.45 from Amazon »

Today I will perform for the millions clicking on my YouTube shower curtain a rendition of Mr. Big's "To Be With You" as I lather my hair, followed by a standup routine about how I don't eat bivalves or things that taste like...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
By: Behance

The latest in shoebox living, Buse Ustun of Ankara, Turkey created VIA particularly for young adult couples cohabitating in tiny apartments with limited kitchen space. The compact, modular cooker incorporates all major kitchen...

Thursday, November 29, 2012
$152 from PrezzyBox »

At first I thought this was an actual washing machine/suitcase combo. Like for moms to tote around and use to instantly remove the spit-up and dirt and, in my case, Bloody Marys, from their kids' perpetually soiled clothes. But upon further inspection, I see that it's just a suitcase with washing machine imagery painted on the front. I guess that's cool too. Even though I'm a little crestfallen...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$70 - $100 from Combat Humidor »

Combat Cigar Humidors take Made in America to the next level. The waterproof stogie canisters are also custom crafted to order by disabled Marine Corps veterans out of Spanish cedar encased in an M13 7.62 x 51 linked ammo...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$91.74 from Amazon »

For hosts, no more contracting pink eye or ocular herpes from smooshing your cornea against the peephole. For guests, no more wondering how much worse your wide hips or severe jaw line look magnified and distorted on the other...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$220 - $260 from Fluoa »

I wonder if the Fusion ergonomic backpack will still follow the natural curves of my posterior after I stuff it to the brim with a laptop, 2 full-size and 3 fun-size Snickers bars, 1 box of Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins...

Friday, May 31, 2013
$249 from Griz Coat »

Just in time for summer! A full-length, faux fur coat with a mother fucking wolf head. On the one hand, the creators of Griz Coats have dissed the brand's icon in favor of this lupine addition to their line of crafty and menacing...

Saturday, October 5, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Talk about taking one for the team. I wouldn't kick that thing. I'd gingerly pick it up, tuck it under my arm, and run for my life as it rained yellow cards. The Death Star soccer ball is a limited edition release, part of...

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$20 from leibal »

Tea. Often it starts out tasting herbal, aromatic, soothing. But then it finishes off smacking of a skunk's sphincter due to the leaves having steeped for too long. Obviously removing the leaves/bag prior to this point is...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$1,235 from TradeMe »

A set of dueling pistols created by Kiwi artist Bruce Mahalski is now up for auction with a starting bid of around $1,235 American dollars. They include spare bullets and come in a custom-altered case with blood-red inlay...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$99 from Melon »

Melon says, "Imagine if you could see and understand the invisible activity of your brain." Hmmm. Given that the brain activity of which I am conscious would probably get me ejected from many public places and kicked in the...

Friday, September 2, 2011
$10.33 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect them...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012
$24.99 from ToyVault »

When it's cold on the slopes, the only thing better than wearing a toasty warm ski mask is wearing a toasty warm ski mask whose Lovecraftian green tentacles scare the ever loving shit out of fellow downhillers. The Cthulhu...

Tuesday, April 3, 2012
$849 from Etsy »

Two steps forward, meet five steps back. For those of us who missed out on all the fun and carpal tunnel syndrome the typewriter generation had, or for those simply looking for an apparatus on which their grandmas can type...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012
$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

Get ready for the uncontrollable "O" mouth, exhalations of fire, and streaming tears of blissful discomfort only a few Victoria's Secret models, and Bhut Jolokia, the world's hottest pepper, can extract from your otherwise...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$19.08 from Amazon »

I know this horse head mask is meant to be grossly unsettling to the viewer, but when I look at it all I can think of is Kramer Tourette's-ing out "Gggiiiddy up" and I feel more amused than disturbed. I imagine the expression...

Friday, February 3, 2012
$7.10 from Amazon »

Red Solo cup, I fill you up. And am way less likely to drop you in someone's lap now that you are made of foam instead of cheap plastic that accrues grip-compromising condensation like Lindsay Lohan accrues pardons for criminal...

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$14,995 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking. If I'm going to buy an original Ghostbusters 2 jumpsuit instead of paying my mortgage this year, it better at least be the one worn by Peter Venkman. Yeah, touche. On the one hand, Dr. Egon Spangler's...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$399.95 - $469.95 from Zip Line Gear »

Even though Viper's Deluxe Zip Line Kit is rated for passengers of up to 350 pounds almost all of the photos I could find depict only kids using it. You know why? Because all of the adults who would like to partake in this...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
By: Ebay

Q: How does Shaun Hughes turn the buffalo side of a Buffalo nickel into an Incredible Hulk hobo with his bare hands?...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$39 from ThinkGeek »

Imagine this: You're on a date. As usual, things aren't going very well. She's finished her 3rd drink and still sees a slack jawed lummox when she looks across the table. The tab arrives. You, being the sucker that you are...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$14.84 from Amazon »

I don't really see the point in ironing clothes unless someone who's not me is doing the ironing, but I guess if you're an advocate of the activity you might like this itty bitty iron for use in wrinkle extermination while...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
Discontinued

Though probably the type of installation that has to be seen in person for true appreciation, the photos are still pretty darn phenomenal. I feel like you could stare at this marvel of intricacy for an hour every day and find...

Friday, December 20, 2013
$230.34 - $249.95 from Amazon »

The 94Fifty basketball is so smart it can measure any force you apply to it, instantly output data about your game, hone your shooting skills, coordinate competitions against other players, and diss your mama for being so...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$11.09 from Amazon »

The Art of Fixing Things. That's some euphemistic phrasing right there. Probably coined by a woman for other women to use in manipulating husbands, boyfriends, male buddies, and random dudes at the gym who appear to be able...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Discontinued

Cloud Strife needs some help wielding his massive Buster Sword and Zack seems to be busy at the moment. Want to wear it around your neck? Chainmail mastro Michelle has hand woven a 23" gunmetal chain to support its hefty length...

Monday, October 1, 2012
$29.99 from Etsy »

Had I an oven in which to grow a bun, definitely a Skeleton Baby T-Shirt would be my preferred method of announcing it to the world. I wonder if wearing it would deter the nosy old hens who feel up preggo women's bellies...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$29.50 from Amazon »

An easily-assembled pumpkin tap for your easily-chugged pumpkin beers. In order of tastiness, according to Boston.com, those would be:...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$44.95 from Amazon »

Why do we have so many shit-themed items around here? Steaming turd cakes to send anonymously to exes. Pills that turn your defecation adventures golden. Rich, delectable chocolates lovingly molded into the shape of assholes....

Monday, March 5, 2012
$400 from Custom Made »

Bust out some some bluesy jams, and tell Siri to call you "BB King" with these cigar box guitars, in tobacco brands Padron 9 and El Baton. The smoke boxes are detailed and expanded, with fretted butternut necks and rosewood...

Thursday, August 11, 2011
$17.99 from Lootiful.com »

This is pretty badass and very well made. The iPWN! Case for iPhone 4 fits AT&T models perfectly and you'll surely be the only person you know that has one... unless you know a bunch of other geeks....

Monday, May 28, 2012
$10.92 from Amazon »

After all the recent hype over breastfeeding, I think it's about time we returned to a matter of real public interest: poo. Specifically, dropping a deuce at the office. How to Poo at Work is the #1 guide for handling the...

Friday, November 23, 2012
$19.97 from Amazon »

Now that we've got Thanksgiving out of the way, it's time to deck the halls, fire up the "Jingle Bells" sing-a-longs, celebrate Jesus, and eat cheese. Cheesus Christ, a cheese grater that--like many folks' Sunday rituals and...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
$15.99 from Amazon »

Communication, so the saying goes, is key. How appropriate then for the bilinguists of the Galactic Republic to provide us with this Translator Ring, a finger-sized key to communicating with the Huttese. Imagine how Jabba...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$129.95 - $199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

It's a Back of the Door Cabinet. Seven words, and my work is done....

Tuesday, August 9, 2011
$74 from Etsy »

Finally. A way to combine your one true love and the girl you're currently boning. This handmade, handcrafted dress will surely lead to a handjob if you're smart enough to buy one for your girl....

Monday, October 10, 2011
$59 million from Christie's Real Estate »

Florida's Latin population tallies over 18%, and people who know stuff about populations speculate that by 2035, the state will have a Hispanic majority....

Thursday, March 21, 2013
By: LumiLor

Last time you attended a rave or pimped your ride with EL wire, I bet you thought, "This electroluminescent technology is sick...but I wish I had it in sprayable form." Well, meet LumiLor, the answer to your prayers. LumiLor...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
$15k from Scott Morrison »

Since wood craftsman Scott Morrison both takes pride in the quality of his work and operates as a one-man show, his design award-winning Rocker Cradle will be cost prohibitive for the vast majority of its admirers. However...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$1,400 from Makerbot »

I don't know if I really need to 3D scan anything--well nothing that would fit within the MakerBot Digitizer's 8" diameter confines, winkwinknudgenugde--and I definitely know I do not have $1,400, but I like that little gnome....

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
By: Youtube

Abraham Lincoln's political career, the Civil War, slavery in The South--conspiracy theorists have been saying it for over a century, and now Seth Grahame-Smith's thinly-veiled novel, plus Tim Burton's twisted interpretive...

Monday, December 26, 2011
$8.99 from Vat 19 »

A sarcastic spin on the traditional fortune cookie, unfortunate cookies tell it like it is. Each pack includes 10 witty, fun and sometimes scathing or disgusting fortunes that are sure to surprise whoever cracks them open...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$39.99 - $99.99 from Amazon »

The beauty of Limeade Blast stems from the suckage of smartphones and tablets. Both that they suck up battery power like a 12-pound newborn on a teat, and that this inadequacy of smartphone and tablet batteries really sucks....

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Would discovering a girl is wearing anti-sweat armpit stickers in the middle of making out with her be better or worse than discovering she's wearing a heavily padded bra? I can't decide. Both would be incredibly disappointing....

Monday, January 2, 2012
$103.99 from Amazon »

Take new school back to the old school with this ghetto blaster fit for an iPhone. This is a true MP3 Ghetto Blaster that uses removable solid-state data storage. So, all you have to do is slam a thumb drive or SD card in...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$13.22 from Amazon »

I wasn't that impressed with this Lekue microwave omelette maker until I watched the video. Now I am sufficiently impressed. Whomever filmed that thing should receive the informercial Oscar for cinematography. The omelette...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

These are so intricately made and real looking that I would not keep them in your bedroom at night. Why? Have you ever seen Starship Troopers? These things are great candidates to come alive at night and launch a full scale...

Thursday, September 12, 2013
$96.99 from Amazon »

I don't know why Vornado needs four words--Whole Room Air Circulator--to describe what I can sum up in two: Super Fan. Truly. I've had many occasions on which to use one of these compact wind makers, namely any time my friend...

Thursday, September 27, 2012
$48 from Etsy »

I know your toddler is a unique and special snowflake, but now you can turn him into a programmable, monotone android too and revel in the irony! Carolyn Caffelle calls her R2D2 onesie and hat a costume, though I think everyone...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012
$12.97 from Amazon »

A 3" x 1" alarm that attaches to any door or window, and fires a powerful siren if anyone enters. It's the perfect companion for travelers, people with nosy mothers and girlfriends, and the inexplicably paranoid. In addition...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$45 from Etsy »

From chemistry class I remember something about diatomic elements and noble gases, but mostly I remember that my teacher wore a tie-dyed lab coat and I could always see this one girl's lacy bras when she would bend over the...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$54.50 from Amazon »

Oh I'll buy a Senz stormproof smart umbrella alright. I'll also take one of those red-lipped brunettes in a cocktail dress to valiantly shield from torrential downpours and winds of up to 50 mph with it....

Sunday, August 19, 2012
$9.66 from Amazon »

Swearing in another language. It's the only thing we really cared to learn during the mandatory years of high school French. Actually, my earliest memories of foreign curse words came much earlier, in 2nd grade, when the term...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$10.76 from Amazon »

A collection of pugs who got caught being the a-holes they are. Like Gonzo, 9-1/2" tall, 16 pounds, charged and booked for shoplifting. I assumed he stole his owner's ability to select an appealing dog breed, but evidently...

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$24.95 from Amazon »

While I don't condone sleeping on a tie at work, I must say I have generally found my productivity (and genius!) levels to be highest after a few swigs of Grey Goose. So drinking out of a tie at work = acceptable. In moderation...

Friday, October 21, 2011
$9.08 from Amazon »

Who could use a radioactive mummy costume for Halloween? An exclamation point on your next toilet-tissue-themed prank? A beacon lighting the way to your Shit Box?...

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Nothing gives me more satisfaction than finding new and exciting ways of flipping people off. First, an umbrella, and now, a housekey. The Middle Finger key--or as vendor Goodworth & Co. calls it, the "Best Wishes" key--is...

Thursday, December 26, 2013
$11.99 from Amazon »

I don't think there is a fast food item on the planet more polarizing than the White Castle slider. You either love them and eat 2 dozen on a dare the night before your wedding and then spend the entire reception puking even...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Chrono-Shredder is a clock, a calendar, a reminder that those who sit at home and simply watch time go by have lives filled with nothing but growing piles of shit on the floor. Poetic, no? Susanna Hertrich combines machine...

Wednesday, September 12, 2012
$25 from Brad McGinty »

Who isn't a fan of checking out innards these days? Particularly when the innards belong to our favorite film creatures--Mogwais, Gremlins, Martians, Predators, Xenomorphs--and particularly when the versions we used to cut...

Friday, August 19, 2011
Discontinued

I need one of these for sure. Not just for display either.... For killin'! Some creepy dude named The Somber Raven made these Vampire Killing Kits and they're pretty legit. You can tell they're what's bolstering him from downtrodden...

Monday, June 11, 2012
$9.50 from Man Can »

Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift, and...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Wagons, the color blue, toys loud enough to get me grounded, stereos gangsta enough to make me feel like I was a part of the rap community, all of the things I loved as a young boy come rushing back in a singular, superb composition:...

Saturday, October 27, 2012
$4,945 - $5,695 from Pen Boutique »

Even as a Batman die-hard, I'm pretty sure that if I had $5,000 to spend on Dark Knight products, I wouldn't go for a fountain pen. But different folks, different strokes, 'ey? And if you fancy yourself, say, a DC Comics poet...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012
$62.51 from Amazon »

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...but I do got a sick 16 1/2" solid cast metal Alien Spiked Tri-Blade Hand Claw coated in an antique brass and gun-metal finish, which I will shadow box with in front of the mirror...