A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, May 9, 2013
$22.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Though not as blood-curdling as a breaching shark in an elevator, an alligator snarling up through a manhole cover on my front doorstep should make uninvited visitors take pause long enough to second guess their decision to...

Monday, August 27, 2012
$15.66 from My eFox »

Everyone will be glad to know this Blood Pool Pillow comes with a 1-year warranty. Like, in case it evaporates or absorbs into the bedsheets or something, I guess. The deep red velvet casing is stuffed to a 3D level of equal...

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$99 from Tokyo Flash »

Like playing the bagpipes and rolling your eyeballs into the back of your sockets, I would prefer that you not drink and drive, even if you're really good at it. Tokyoflash agrees, and so has proceeded with development and full production of their Design Studio Blog's conceptual breathalyzer watch, a longtime fan favorite surely soon to be seen on the wrists of many a 20-something reveler. The...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$15 - $38 from Etsy »

Likelihood I would kill a pet jellyfish: 100%. Likelihood I would kill a potted plant: 98%. Likelihood I would kill a jellyfish air plant: 75%. Because Etsy shop Petit Beast swears on its spiky sea urchin shells that caring...

Sunday, September 30, 2012
$1,167 from Crealev »

Crealev designer Angela Jansen has taken a machete to boring old lamp shades, and thrown in some magnet magic to keep their hacked off top half afloat after the attack. The Silhouette, a conical shade, and the Eclipse, a more...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Discontinued

What better to test out your Ghostbusters Proton Backpack and Ghost Trap replicas on than a Life-Size Slimer? The wall-mounted, ecto-green spectacle even thrusts forth in 3D, though thankfully artist Jeff Teo cast him in rigid silicone rubber instead of oozy paranormal bodily fluids. The Slimer up for grabs stands 28" wide x 40" high x 10" deep, and is number 4 of a 45-piece signed and numbered...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$22 - $140 from Etsy »

Trixie Delicious' naughty china reminds me of sitting at an austere dinner table with my friend Cornelius and trying to destroy his composure by saying words like "penis," "boobies," and "cocksucker" under my breath. Except...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

NCC-1701 is ready for reception of coasters, remote controls, back issues of Scientific American, and holey crew-socked feet. Craftsman Barry Shields spent a month forging the USS Enterprise from ash, poplar, and cherry woods...

Thursday, January 2, 2014
$18.99 from Amazon »

"I LOVE this. I was worried this would look tacky or cheap, but it really is awesome looking. Pleasantly surprised. Goes great with other wolf bathroom accessories I have." Thank you, Amazon reviewer Adelaide. Your assessment...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$46.32 from Amazon »

The Swissmar girouette says it was devised to shave and curl Tete de Moine, a fancy cheese from Switzerland that probably costs $100 pound, but you can also use it to make byooteeful ribbons of chocolate, or on any old cheese...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012
By: WIZDISH

The WizDish is on a quest to make virtual reality and first-person gaming even more active and interactive without incurring costs prohibitive to 98% of the people who enjoy virtual reality and first-person gaming. The locomotion...

Monday, October 15, 2012
Discontinued

Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair of foot...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

When speaking of our health, of preventing the ingestion of fecal matter thrust into the air during the toilet flushing process, is there really a need to mince words? Beat around the bush? Employ euphemisms? Woodpecker Laboratories...

Monday, October 14, 2013

Although this leg lamp looks slightly less frageelay than the iconic Christmas Story bulbed version, I bet if I don a beige cardigan and rub it the wrong way it will drop me like a sack of potatoes and cost a chunk of change...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$49.99 from Nubrella »

In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne...

Friday, February 24, 2012

Stress-relieving pottery that doesn't require the presence of Patrick Swayze's ghost? Sign us up! The Shouting Vase is a bulbous fabrication of ABS resin that, when placed against your lips, absorbs and quiets the loudest...

Friday, August 12, 2011
$23.23 from Amazon »

This is a big ass shark that gets filled with helium so you can control who you'd like to kill with it. Check out the video after the jump for a better visualization of what I'm saying here. This thing looks pretty awesome...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Whenever someone compliments a girl's article of clothing, as in, "That's a nice dress," my friend Kristen always pipes up, "Is it the dress or the girl in the dress?" Touche, Kristen. Typically it is the girl in the dress....

Wednesday, April 23, 2014
$7.51 from Amazon »

Some old lady called me a clown the other day so I decided to look up how to make balloon animals. And as luck would have it, there's a whole kit and how-to guide for balloon modeling. Though it's made by Ridley's so, you...

Friday, March 23, 2012
$399.99 from Marshall Fridge »

The Marshall amp replica refrigerator, signed by Jim Marshall, emblazoned with authentic Marshall logos, and fitted with a real Marshall facing has a paradoxically acoustic effect: it makes your brews and carbonated shots...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Discontinued

Default setting during Settlers of Catan play is already shaking my fist while bellowing a battle cry. Sometimes of conquer. Sometimes of defeat. Funny how those sounds and gestures have global emotional applications. Anyway...

Sunday, April 22, 2012

No matter the context, the topic of head always seems to be a controversial one. Does it enhance the experience or cheapen it? How much is too much? Do you let others know when they get a little bit stuck to their face? The...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$23.17 from Amazon »

And maybe when I'm not making ravioli I can use this rolling pin on the knots in my back and my tightly wound IT band. The beechwood ravioli rolling pin delivers a strong sense of self-satisfaction to its rollers as it allows...

Sunday, April 7, 2013

From forth the brilliant Magneto mind of Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel comes another player in his Gravity series of magnetic field creations. Candlestick formation employs the same machine van der Wiel built to create...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$10.95 from EarSkinz »

I may have mentioned this before, but in case you forgot, I have very active sweat glands. More precisely, I am the Old Faithful of sweating. One time at the gym I had a concerned elderly woman run up to warn me that I should...

Monday, May 7, 2012
$6.20 from Amazon »

Mmm, from dead fetus to sharp shooter. I'm going to take a shot at loading the Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold into the Rule of Thirds, as described by my 9th grade English teacher. He said that a third of the people we meet throughout...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$70 - $100 from Combat Humidor »

Combat Cigar Humidors take Made in America to the next level. The waterproof stogie canisters are also custom crafted to order by disabled Marine Corps veterans out of Spanish cedar encased in an M13 7.62 x 51 linked ammo...

Saturday, May 4, 2013
$379 from Aark Collective »

The Aark black-on-black watch goes by the name of Iconic, but I feel it would be more appropriately termed Black Don't Crack because that is more catchy and memorable, as well as perhaps the truest adage ever coined. I mean...

Sunday, August 18, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One way to guarantee your kid grows up to be a spoiled, entitled brat like that little crapper Suri Cruise is to install an in-ground pool in your back yard--maybe even one that fluctuates between pool and patio--and then...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
$399 - $1,300 from Drive a Tank »

Tank camp? Oh boy, I've been looking for an excuse to go to Kasota, Minnesota! The Drive a Tank family owns and operates this adrenaline-jacking experience 90 minutes outside of Minneapolis, during which participants can not...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$29.95 from Amazon »

For the making of their Kickstarter video, and because destructive testing is always fun, Zendure founder Bryan Liu rolled over the external battery's A4 model a dozen times as it charged an iPhone 4S. Presumably with a car...

Monday, October 1, 2012
$29.99 from Etsy »

Had I an oven in which to grow a bun, definitely a Skeleton Baby T-Shirt would be my preferred method of announcing it to the world. I wonder if wearing it would deter the nosy old hens who feel up preggo women's bellies...

Thursday, April 11, 2013
$49.99 from Trakdot »

Trakdot luggage finders enjoyed a grand reception at CES 2013, and the company is now gearing up for its initial propagation of Trakdots into the world on June 24, 2013. The palm-sized suitcase insert collaborates with an...

Friday, December 7, 2012
$39.95 from Homemade Gin »

Mommy, where does gin come from? Vodka, Bobby. Gin comes from vodka. At least if it's homemade. Shunning expensive, and possibly illegal, distilling equipment, the Homemade Gin Kit allows those who possess it to create intoxicatingly...

Saturday, July 20, 2013
$19.99 from Amazon »

We as humans have such cold-blooded and violent feelings towards insects as a species. We could sympathetically and euphemistically "eliminate" and "dispose of" them, but instead we swat, squash, zap, smash, exterminate, and...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$91.74 from Amazon »

For hosts, no more contracting pink eye or ocular herpes from smooshing your cornea against the peephole. For guests, no more wondering how much worse your wide hips or severe jaw line look magnified and distorted on the other...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$30.98 from Amazon »

Here's a way to increase the functionality--oh, no, sorry, "unlock the power" of your Windows 8 PC. The Logitech rechargeable touchpad expands upon the standard built-in trackpad both dimensionally with its large, 5.9" x 5.7"...

Thursday, November 29, 2012
$152 from PrezzyBox »

At first I thought this was an actual washing machine/suitcase combo. Like for moms to tote around and use to instantly remove the spit-up and dirt and, in my case, Bloody Marys, from their kids' perpetually soiled clothes....

Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
By: Behance

The latest in shoebox living, Buse Ustun of Ankara, Turkey created VIA particularly for young adult couples cohabitating in tiny apartments with limited kitchen space. The compact, modular cooker incorporates all major kitchen...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012
$24.99 from ToyVault »

When it's cold on the slopes, the only thing better than wearing a toasty warm ski mask is wearing a toasty warm ski mask whose Lovecraftian green tentacles scare the ever loving shit out of fellow downhillers. The Cthulhu...

Tuesday, April 3, 2012
$849 from Etsy »

Two steps forward, meet five steps back. For those of us who missed out on all the fun and carpal tunnel syndrome the typewriter generation had, or for those simply looking for an apparatus on which their grandmas can type...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$199.95 from Amazon »

Breville says it will do for pizza lovers what cooking meth does for ailing chemistry teachers: bring home the dough. The Crispy Crust Stone Baked Pizza Maker aims to deliver brick oven pie quality without the bricks. Probably...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.11 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Sunday, March 3, 2013
$35.69 from Amazon »

Today I will perform for the millions clicking on my YouTube shower curtain a rendition of Mr. Big's "To Be With You" as I lather my hair, followed by a standup routine about how I don't eat bivalves or things that taste like...

Friday, September 2, 2011
$10.33 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect them...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$39 from ThinkGeek »

Imagine this: You're on a date. As usual, things aren't going very well. She's finished her 3rd drink and still sees a slack jawed lummox when she looks across the table. The tab arrives. You, being the sucker that you are...

Friday, May 31, 2013
$249 from Griz Coat »

Just in time for summer! A full-length, faux fur coat with a mother fucking wolf head. On the one hand, the creators of Griz Coats have dissed the brand's icon in favor of this lupine addition to their line of crafty and menacing...

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$14,995 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking. If I'm going to buy an original Ghostbusters 2 jumpsuit instead of paying my mortgage this year, it better at least be the one worn by Peter Venkman. Yeah, touche. On the one hand, Dr. Egon Spangler's...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$220 - $260 from Fluoa »

I wonder if the Fusion ergonomic backpack will still follow the natural curves of my posterior after I stuff it to the brim with a laptop, 2 full-size and 3 fun-size Snickers bars, 1 box of Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$1,235 from TradeMe »

A set of dueling pistols created by Kiwi artist Bruce Mahalski is now up for auction with a starting bid of around $1,235 American dollars. They include spare bullets and come in a custom-altered case with blood-red inlay...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$99 from Melon »

Melon says, "Imagine if you could see and understand the invisible activity of your brain." Hmmm. Given that the brain activity of which I am conscious would probably get me ejected from many public places and kicked in the...

Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$19.08 from Amazon »

I know this horse head mask is meant to be grossly unsettling to the viewer, but when I look at it all I can think of is Kramer Tourette's-ing out "Gggiiiddy up" and I feel more amused than disturbed. I imagine the expression...

Friday, February 3, 2012
$6.90 from Amazon »

Red Solo cup, I fill you up. And am way less likely to drop you in someone's lap now that you are made of foam instead of cheap plastic that accrues grip-compromising condensation like Lindsay Lohan accrues pardons for criminal...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
Discontinued

Though probably the type of installation that has to be seen in person for true appreciation, the photos are still pretty darn phenomenal. I feel like you could stare at this marvel of intricacy for an hour every day and find...

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$20 from leibal »

Tea. Often it starts out tasting herbal, aromatic, soothing. But then it finishes off smacking of a skunk's sphincter due to the leaves having steeped for too long. Obviously removing the leaves/bag prior to this point is...

Friday, October 21, 2011
$9.08 from Amazon »

Who could use a radioactive mummy costume for Halloween? An exclamation point on your next toilet-tissue-themed prank? A beacon lighting the way to your Shit Box?...

Saturday, October 5, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Talk about taking one for the team. I wouldn't kick that thing. I'd gingerly pick it up, tuck it under my arm, and run for my life as it rained yellow cards. The Death Star soccer ball is a limited edition release, part of...

Monday, March 5, 2012
$400 from Custom Made »

Bust out some some bluesy jams, and tell Siri to call you "BB King" with these cigar box guitars, in tobacco brands Padron 9 and El Baton. The smoke boxes are detailed and expanded, with fretted butternut necks and rosewood...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011
$74 from Etsy »

Finally. A way to combine your one true love and the girl you're currently boning. This handmade, handcrafted dress will surely lead to a handjob if you're smart enough to buy one for your girl....

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$399.95 - $469.95 from Zip Line Gear »

Even though Viper's Deluxe Zip Line Kit is rated for passengers of up to 350 pounds almost all of the photos I could find depict only kids using it. You know why? Because all of the adults who would like to partake in this...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Discontinued

Cloud Strife needs some help wielding his massive Buster Sword and Zack seems to be busy at the moment. Want to wear it around your neck? Chainmail mastro Michelle has hand woven a 23" gunmetal chain to support its hefty length...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
By: Ebay

Q: How does Shaun Hughes turn the buffalo side of a Buffalo nickel into an Incredible Hulk hobo with his bare hands?...

Thursday, August 11, 2011
$17.99 from Lootiful.com »

This is pretty badass and very well made. The iPWN! Case for iPhone 4 fits AT&T models perfectly and you'll surely be the only person you know that has one... unless you know a bunch of other geeks....

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$11.09 from Amazon »

The Art of Fixing Things. That's some euphemistic phrasing right there. Probably coined by a woman for other women to use in manipulating husbands, boyfriends, male buddies, and random dudes at the gym who appear to be able...

Monday, October 10, 2011
$59 million from Christie's Real Estate »

Florida's Latin population tallies over 18%, and people who know stuff about populations speculate that by 2035, the state will have a Hispanic majority....

Thursday, September 27, 2012
$48 from Etsy »

I know your toddler is a unique and special snowflake, but now you can turn him into a programmable, monotone android too and revel in the irony! Carolyn Caffelle calls her R2D2 onesie and hat a costume, though I think everyone...