A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, March 28, 2013

My friend DeAndre ran with the bulls in Pamplona once, and he assures me that the expression "strong like bull" is no, well, no bullshit. People get impaled and tossed and stampeded and DeAndre saw one guy take a horn to the...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Doxie One could have solved a problem I encountered a few weeks ago when I hauled out the 15-pound hp scanner I bought in 2003 to transfer some hard documents to my laptop. Everyone in the room started laughing at me and...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$116.56 from Amazon »

Happy New Year! Here's something to make you feel fat, ugly, and depressed motivate and inspire you to reach your 2014 fitness goals! The Fitbit Aria Wi-Fi Smart Scale measures weight, body fat percentage, and body mass index (BMI) each time you step onto it, plus beams the results to an online Fitbit dashboard or smartphone app to enable progress tracking and paint a full Bob-Ross-brushstroked...

Monday, November 11, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

This Password Vault seems like a decent gift for people who, like me, follow the universal password rules of choosing a different protective code of at least 8 characters, half of which are symbols or caps, for every one of...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012
$13.50 from Etsy »

Balrogs and horndogs beware! These gold-emblazoned ladies' hot shorts guard the Secret Fire and they will not avail your advances! Undies are American Apparel brand, and come in S, M & L. Check out the size guide photo prior...

Sunday, April 8, 2012
$760 from VITEOSHOWER »

The only thing better than a water shower cascading down from above is a water shower shooting up from below. Champions of bidets and enemas, you know what we're talking about, 'ey? And though the photos depict fancy frolicking ladies and men in complex-looking exterior installations and rabbit heads using the VITEO Outdoor Shower, it is actually a beautifully simple creation. Sourced by a standard...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$425 from Etsy »

I'm imagining how much toxic air I could intake, and how many zombies I could Sucker Punch in this kick ass leather and aluminum Defender Gas Mask. Pretty sure the total is zero, but I'm going to look so damn cool getting...

Friday, March 30, 2012
$184 from Amazon »

Is it sun-blazin', mosquito-laden, river-floatin', mountain-bikin', pop-a-tent-in-the woods season yet? Segue from winter into the months of the year that don't make people want to jump off highway overpasses with the terrifically...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
$36.31 from Amazon »

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and people who live in marble towers should watch out because...bombs away! MindWare's Q-Ba-Maze 2.0 is an interlocking system of brightly-hued cubes that tinkerers small...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$21.95 from Amazon »

People from Maine sure know how to make cooking fun. These earthenware Snot-a-Mug egg separators are made by northeast coast artisans to disassociate whites from yolks such that they whimsically mimic a gruesome bodily function....

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
$169.99 from Infmetry »

It's the relationship and commitment hairshirt! Currently available in "Always" and "Marry me", Inner Message Rings are the perfect way to say, "If you really love me, you'll wear this ring that never stops gouging your flesh...

Saturday, April 6, 2013
$99.99 from Stinky »

As the MYO and LEAP eliminate computer mice and keyboards for the hands, SteLuLu Technologies introduces a new gaming apparatus for the feet. Used in tandem with finger controllers, the Stinky Footboard adds one more dimension--the...

Monday, April 22, 2013

Don't try to pretend like you don't want a 5x magnified, 13,000 pixel view of your earwax. The EarScope delivers a nearly perfect image of the Q-Tip zone to assist with cleaning or taking sick pleasure in watching a mountain...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$37.68 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Monday, October 24, 2011
$52 from Ebay »

It is not often we come across something so special and unique. Who knew today would be that day? I woke up this morning in a Chewbacco-less world. Now, today, I walk around with a new confidence in mankind. If collectively...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$199 from Griz Coat »

Griz Coat, fast becoming the Mercedes of mammalian outerwear, is prepping to release their fourth installment, the Panda Coat. Bulbous bear head, luxurious full-length faux fur body, you know what sartorial delicacy you're...

Friday, June 22, 2012

Jolly Rogers, Hearts that say "Mom", Tweety Birds, sure they're gumball machine classics when it comes to temporary tattoos, but what about getting tatted out for 2 to 3 days in a design that expresses true individuality and...

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$54 from Etsy »

Hand-sewn Yoda heads atop plush tan sweatshirts we will wear. Those of us who carry the Force will anyway. And with the Yoda Hoodies' slouchy front pockets, we'll even have a place to stuff it for safekeeping. Erin Maynard...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
$34.99 from Etsy »

Poor Thing. Someone lit him on fire and in the absence of a mouth, or thumb and forefinger that can reach the top of his wrist, it looks like he's doomed to burn. If you give him a few minutes I hear blood will start running...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$22.95 - $27.95 from Amazon »

If you can't afford to be a stormtrooper in latex, how about an R2D2 in body-hugging cotton blend? This tunic-length tank top is very classy stuff, ladies. Very classy. I say that not only as a man who would be honored to...

Monday, November 12, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

For the dog: Italian greyhounds seem like fragile, sensitive creatures, so I'm going to let the fact that you're wearing a canine snowsuit with a 270-degree hood drawstringed tightly around your head in this photo slide without...

Friday, December 6, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$0.99 from Blow Up Traffic »

I think I'm in love. Blow Up Traffic is an iPhone app that simulates setting fire to gridlocks or otherwise offensive individual vehicles that are driving like complete fucking morons, such as buses and Toyota Priuses. And...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$50 - $350 from Safe House USA »

Nothing screams wealth and class like marble flooring, marble countertops, marble statues, and marble-covered rolls in the hay. Here, Safe House USA gives buyers the option of going full mar-balls to the wall with their patterned...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$0.99 from iOSnoops »

A while back, Stephen Lippens started thinking that someone should make the old Flash game Pandemic for the iPhone. And then, despite having virtually no technical background or experience, he figured that someone may as well...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$39 from Topatoco »

Brandon Bird created this Squid Flame hoodie, a clever piece of gear for all the fans of fantastical sea beasts and marine biologists out there. It is unclear, though, if Bird or someone on online retailer Topatoco's payroll...

Bar
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$90.61 - $98.88 from Amazon »

When the tops come off, the fun begins! That's what they say about these bottle cap bar stools, but I don't see much about the statement that has anything to do with bottle cap bar stools. Obviously I like it as it relates...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
$249.99 from Amazon »

Do you believe in the power of the human mind? If you said yes, and you are not a Buddhist monk, yogi master, hypnotist, or cult leader, you probably also believe in The Force. But while belief in The Force is one thing, mastery...

Monday, March 26, 2012
Discontinued

According to the Handbook for the Recently Deceased, the Beetlejuice Terrarium is an accurately-depicted scale model of the Maitland-Deetz estate, replete with fence posts, dirt driveway, the foreboding, Burton-esque tree...

Thursday, January 31, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Cool kids don't pack heat, they pack humidity. With the aid of any standard screw-top water bottle, the Air-O-Swiss Travel Ultrasonic humidifier will pump your hotel suite or Aunt Jan's spare bedroom full of revitalizing...

Friday, June 22, 2012
$84.95 from Etsy »

Holy crap, can you imagine how many cookies the Cookie Monster would eat if he were high? Possibly all the cookies in the world. Which in a way would be interesting to witness, but in a bigger way very sad, because then I...

Monday, February 11, 2013
$99 - $999 from DomeCandy »

What's this? A circa 1968 suitcase and a set of Sony speakers turned into a portable stereo? Aw, Granny, good job! You made a ghetto blaster! And I thought our Merle Haggard Mondays and Tupac Tuesdays couldn't get any better....

Monday, July 22, 2013
$8.49 from Amazon »

Previously, I didn't think it was possible for Luke to sound like any more of a dipshit when he spoke, but I bet throwing in some iambic pentameter will prove me wrong. Adoring fans, get your bookshelves and e-readers ready....

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$16.59 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

Saturday, July 13, 2013

A Hovercraft Golf Cart, say what? It's like country club meets Star Trek convention. Caddyshack meets Back to the Future. Rich people meets...things only rich people can afford....

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$23 from OPPO »

Oh man, I really hope dogs aren't smarter than we think they are. Does it get more humiliating than a Duckface Muzzle? Quack, an OPPO Japan bit of "You poor canine bastard" is a soft silicone dog muzzle available in yellow...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$150 from Etsy »

It's paleontology, puzzle-solving, and ridiculously rad lawn ornament all rolled into one plasma cut steel assembly kit. This giant velociraptor skeleton arrives as 44, 11-gauge, 1/8" steel pieces begging to be the centerpiece...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011
$33 from Jet Pens »

There is nothing better than knowing you're writing down your daily to do list (probably the same damn stuff you wrote down the day before, and before that) with a superior writing instrument. And that's exactly what this...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Discontinued

One thing I do every night is fall asleep on my couch watching TV. Usually I wake up around 1:30 a.m. and consider the option of relocating to my bed, but I think the last time I actually did this was November of 2010. However...

Saturday, June 9, 2012
Discontinued

Male-female color coordination and style may not be Top 5 on the list of requisites for zombie slaying offensives, but side-by-side pink & black and yellow & black Zombie Stopper Gun Blades should look pretty sweet at Comic-Con...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Say hello to my open-source, 18-foot-wide, 4,000-pound, 6-legged hydraulic little friend. His name's Stompy, and he is a gargantuan spideresque robot currently being built to tote humans, and crush the living bejeesus...

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Rebel knows you could stuff your smartphone in a waterproof pouch and enjoy its muffled sounds in the shower or by the pool. Or risk hooking it up to a speaker in the kitchen and sloshing suds and bloody chicken juice on it....

Saturday, April 27, 2013
$159.95 from Amazon »

Other solar powered chargers exist...I mean, I think they do. I use the power of my mind to charge my devices, so I don't exactly keep up. But from what I hear from the less psychically apt and electrically inclined, there...

Bar
Friday, November 16, 2012
$24.95 from Amazon »

Boy do I miss the days of my youth. The days of emerging victorious from head-butting battles with rhinoceroses, claiming their horns as trophies, and, after gnawing out the marrow inside, filling them with a thick black stout...

Saturday, February 18, 2012
$9,650 - $10,795 from InboxFitness »

Monowheels, or monocycles--huge, single-track circus contraptions riders sit inside instead of on top of--have been around since the late 19th century, and were at one point proposed for use as a serious mode of transportation....

Thursday, September 27, 2012
By: OMG Life

Just as we can never have too many paparazzi photos of female celebrities in short dresses with no underwear climbing out of their cars, it seems neither can we have too many ways in which to capture these riveting moments....

Friday, July 12, 2013

Chuck Taylors have been around since 1917? Crap. Well I hope in 4 years Converse has a big party to celebrate its century of making my feet look awesome and, in honor of the occasion, gives away free shoes or maybe raises...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
$42 - $49 from Amazon »

I see how the ease of just tossing a blaring alarm clock on its head to turn it off could be very dangerous for some people. If you don't have to work for the deactivation--dig for a minuscule button, chase a rolling or flying...

Saturday, March 24, 2012
$54.99 from Home Wet Bar »

There's a reason they invented the Remote Control Drink & Snack Float. It's the same reason they call it "lazing" in the pool. It's because I'm being lazy. And because sometimes when I'm being lazy I get thirsty. And kind...

Saturday, July 27, 2013
Discontinued

By Cryos Illumination's definition, Function in flashlight form means a light output of up to 1600 lumens with endless, user-controlled variability in between. It means dual 1/4-20 tripod threads and a uniquely practical design....

Tuesday, March 6, 2012
$149 from Custom Made »

Your face on the wedding cake topper? Hell yeah! This is, after all your mother f'in' day, and for once, just once, everything damn well should be all about you! Oh, and whomever that person standing next to you in front of...

Monday, November 5, 2012
$249.99 from Gizmine »

With this In-Home Fireworks Theater, you can now say, "Happy New Year!", "Happy Birthday, America!", and "Happy Sweet 16, spoiled brat with a rich daddy!" 365 days a year. From the comfort of your own living room, no less....

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$79.90 from IQ Cubes »

I guess anyone who can solve the Roulette Wheel IQ Cube must be pretty smart. I feel pretty smart just for figuring out what it is based on the manufacturer's bold, caps, red-fonted, syntactically-challenged description of...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Uh, this one's for the ladies? When the toggle on the Han Solo in Carbonite switch plate is turned on, there will be no doubt Han Solo in Carbonite is turned on. I'm not sure how men--even the most devoted of Star Wars fans--will...

Monday, February 13, 2012
$199 from DNA 11 »

If you're a Double Helix Fan Club member, but can't make it to Japan to clone your face, and find the prospect of being mug-melded with your sister a little disturbing, check out this subtler artistic representation of your...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$70 - $100 from Combat Humidor »

Combat Cigar Humidors take Made in America to the next level. The waterproof stogie canisters are also custom crafted to order by disabled Marine Corps veterans out of Spanish cedar encased in an M13 7.62 x 51 linked ammo...

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

I almost started crying when I saw the Yonanas maker of healthy ice cream. It's what I imagine laying eyes upon my first child for the first time will feel like, except where the ice cream maker evokes awe and undiluted joy...

Sunday, July 15, 2012
$575 from Etsy »

San Diego Comic-Con may be winding down, but the San Romero zombie apocalypse is just amping up. And if you're going to splice off heads and bifurcate torsos chainsaw-wielding-Juliet style when it gets here, you're gonna need...

Saturday, March 10, 2012
$224.73 from Amazon »

The KettlePizza insert takes homely, mediocre 22.5" kettle grills, such as Webers and Stoks, and magically transforms them into flashy, gourmet, pseudo-woodfired pizza ovens capable of putting New York slices, Chicago deep...

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$1,250 - $3,125 from Fun Furniture Collection »

Just in time for you to go to Burning Man and your offspring to stay home with a DIY heap of plywood and PDF instructions as a consolation prize: The VW Camper Bunk Bed! Its double stack of single mattress frames come as either...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Suck it, chocolate bunnies! This Easter all the cool kiddies want chocolate craniums cast from real human skulls! OK, so how many comments of outrage am I going to get when I point out that partaking in a piece of dark chocolate...

Friday, October 18, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't need a knuckle knife topped with a skull to prove I'm a fantasy master, just the sworn testimony of my ex-girlfriends. Come on ladies, tell them about the fiery passion of Igor the Dragon....

Sunday, January 5, 2014
$22.37 from Amazon »

Oh good, it's Billy the Puppet poised to nod and smirk at me all day long. That mouth doesn't actually move, does it? And that tricycle doesn't actually roll, does it? What are the odds that a bobblehead from Saw arrives as...

Saturday, October 26, 2013
$69.99 - $72.99 from Amazon »

It's not quite as cool as toting a real Proton pack, and infinitely less cool than being the real Peter Venkman, but this Ghostbusters printed Venkman jacket is still better than a tan Russell Athletic zip-up from Target...

Monday, July 1, 2013
$200 from LotusGrill »

The LotusGrill, a compact, smokeless charcoal BBQ, is a perfect example of the type of gadget that makes me go, "How'd they do that?!" but really I'm not interested in an explanation if it requires more than 20 seconds of...

Wednesday, January 16, 2013
$169.99 from Amazon »

Now that NFL powerhouse and perennial Super Bowl favorites the Seattle Seahawks have been knocked out of the playoffs, I'm going to have to find something else to do from within the 6' radius surrounding my recliner. Hey...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

NCC-1701 is ready for reception of coasters, remote controls, back issues of Scientific American, and holey crew-socked feet. Craftsman Barry Shields spent a month forging the USS Enterprise from ash, poplar, and cherry woods...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$15 - $38 from Etsy »

Likelihood I would kill a pet jellyfish: 100%. Likelihood I would kill a potted plant: 98%. Likelihood I would kill a jellyfish air plant: 75%. Because Etsy shop Petit Beast swears on its spiky sea urchin shells that caring...