A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Score a Dude Exclusives game developer bundle, featuring over 30 hours of training that will equip you to create 7 different types of mobile and desktop games. Offered at 95% off retail value through July 11, 2014. May 28...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on the creation of human cyborgs, is a feature that should be folded into your first generation. And even though designer The PussPuss claims their Italian fabric tights were crafted...

Friday, November 9, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

My girlfriend says there's a laser treatment for your face that feels like you're repeatedly getting shot with a fully-extended rubber band. Which sounds terrible to me, and not really that much fun for either the recipient...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$53 from Burger »

Color-in Wallpaper is kind of like I See You Wallpaper, but without the watchful eyes looming over your every move, passing judgment as you eat Hungry Man Dinners, and rolling into the backs of the heads you drew for them...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$5.78 from Amazon »

Oh hello Cthulhu. I almost didn't see you there before I turned on my flashlight. Well, technically LED underwater torch. TOMTOP made it 100% waterproof and effective at illuminating up to 25 meters of ocean pathway. It weighs only 4 ounces too. Not that that matters down here, where everything weighs, like, a fraction of what it really weighs. Except lead. And maybe Wolverine since his skeleton...

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$60 - $70 from Dropcatch »

The DropCatch magnetic bottle opener pretty much looks like an entire summer's worth of entertainment to me. I might just buy a bunch of shit beer from Oregon that I'd never consider drinking and employ the mounted walnut...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014
$39.95 from Amazon »

I don't know. I feel like if Salvador Dali had actually fashioned a watch in his likeness, the trademark handlebar mustache would have extended into a horse femur on one end and had, like, a Boeing 747 tethered to the other....

Sunday, September 22, 2013

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies...

Monday, October 28, 2013

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS CAN'T...

Saturday, May 10, 2014
$18.21 from Amazon »

All I want at the end of an hours-long, arduous trek over terrain rugged and unstable is a nice glass of sauvignon blanc. Who's with me? Yep, that's what I thought. Alllll the ladies. It's too late for Mother's Day now, but...

Monday, June 3, 2013
$4.99 - $10.50 from Amazon »

The Amazon reviews of Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay--nearly 800 of them!--are so overwhelmingly positive it makes me wonder how I've never before heard of these miraculous bentonite particulates of the earth. Maybe I was...

Wednesday, May 1, 2013
$39.99 from Mommysentials »

The Baby Hanger. A design so utilitarian, yet so uproariously hilarious, that I almost want to acquire an infant just so that I can hook it on a bathroom stall. Check out the gaping mouth and dangling legs on that kid. He...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
$36.95 from BeerShorts »

Cold beers, cold thighs, elastic waist to accommodate the intake of fried things with your Buds and Coors, what more could you ask for in a pair of shorts? Beershorts' pair of built-in koozies not only eliminate the tedious...

Monday, October 28, 2013
$179 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console me...

Saturday, September 14, 2013
$7.95 from I Love Handles »

Although I recently made the astute observation that no one uses pens to write things down anymore, now that these Paperback sticky notes will allow us to merge ink with our iPhones, it's possible some people will reacquire...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012
$5.95 from Amazon »

Installing Jonny Glow strips on your toilet will preclude stubbed toes, bumped knees, smacked elbows, total face plants, and pissing on the cat during semi-conscious orienteering trips to the bathroom in the pitch black of...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Otherworldly neon suction cups for the legs! Artist James Lillis took a NASA photo of an actual galaxy, and transposed it onto tongue-waggingly tight leggings in purples and blues so riveting anyone who gazes upon them will...

Friday, March 28, 2014
$25.99 from Amazon »

One thing I like to do is buy stuff. A lot of this stuff requires a charger. And none of it--none of it!--ever seems to require the same charger. Anker's compact and tidy 5-port USB charger claims to have enough ports, both...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99 from Amazon »

I'm not on the best of terms with my smoke alarm. First it fell from the ceiling and went off. Then I left a few pounds of bacon in the skillet for too long and it went off. Then I had this girl over to watch Major League...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$1,095 from Oru Kayak »

The San Francisco Bay Area: Big waters, small living spaces, crowded streets, zero parking. Because Anton Willis loves to kayak, and because he isn't a whiner who sits around complaining about problems instead of doing something...

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Instead of outgrowing your superhero, fairytale, and cartoon character childhood toys, let them mature with you. Preserve their magnificence, and thwart being labeled a creepy action figure nerd, with Evil Robot Designs' Bespoke...

Thursday, January 23, 2014
$8.69 from Amazon »

From amidst the screams and chaos, the tension and the trash talk, the chili cheese dip and the chicken wings, a lone zombie hand breaks the surface. Rises up from the pooled blood of Mary. And what's this? Is it parading...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012
$334.99 from SpyHawk »

Normally, I don't like the idea of a Big Brother entity invading citizens' privacy and monitoring their every move. But I can go for it on occasion. Like on the occasion that Big Brother is me. Like on the occasion that I...

Sunday, June 3, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. Smells like freshly cut...margaritas. Thanks to the TailGator, a blender with cajones the size of a 25cc Poulan 2-stroke, 2 1/2 horsepower gas engine. It's not a new product--or the only one of its kind for...

Saturday, August 9, 2014
$125 from Moma Store »

If you really want to lay the romance on thick, tell your girlfriend this Kinematics smooth black necklace you're presenting her was 3D printed layer by layer using selective laser sintering. She'll be instant sex slave putty...

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$12 from Amazon »

"Fool" is such a grand addition to the English language. Mr. T knew what was up. Apparently, bib-wearing babies do too. I knew they were smarter than they look. I bet in actuality they're like a tribe of wee geniuses hiding...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Everything tastes better when ingested directly from a mason jar. Fruit preserves. Pickled green beans. Molten chocolate cakes. Ole Smoky Moonshine. Apparently even music--ingestible aurally rather than orally--is a prime...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

A selfie in the hand is worth two on Instagram. Fujifilm's Instax Share SP-1 printer enables immediate and direct mobile printing. You want your mug on the break room fridge/dangling from your rearview mirror/sent over to...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of craft...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
$8,500 from Inno-Motion »

The Swiss LimbIC chair, which looks more like part of an amusement part ride than a cubicle fixture, proposes to take ergonomic furniture to new levels of comfort, freedom, and neurological stimulation. Kind of like the desk...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Discontinued

Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort...

Monday, August 12, 2013
$55 from Etsy »

3D printed, covering an iPhone, and in the shape of a skull may be the only way in which it is acceptable for a male to wear patterns of lace. Joshua Harker's 3D printed lacy-looking skull iPhone cases spiff up Steve Jobs'...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The days of old school Nintendo Zappers and Duck Hunt have come full circle. Except this time the Zapper is souped up with a 2W+ blue laser, and can blast real ducks. Or at least light paper ducks on fire. DIY extraordinaires...

Sunday, November 4, 2012
$32.49 - $149.99 from Amazon »

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor....

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
$82.82 from Amazon »

Life-sized is still a few feet away, but this giant Chewbacca plush toy measures in at a formidable 24" tall x 15" wide. Which is probably bigger than the kid you're going to pretend you're buying him for. And when you press...

Thursday, October 4, 2012
$19.95 from Amazon »

I don't know how I feel about painting pregnant bellies for public display. Well, maybe it would be cool if one were painted with waves and then the small human being inside started kicking and fighting to get out and made...

Monday, September 19, 2011

These little guys remind me of the characters in the movie 9. This collaboration is pretty cool and comes with a back story and a rabid internet fan base. Each "squadt" can stand alone, or form a part of a large collection....

Monday, October 14, 2013
$73 - $128 from Etsy »

Sterling silver, copper, and the aura of someone up to no good. Maybe a psycho chef. A sociopathic sadist. Your mom. (Zing! It's like Patrick Stewart. It never gets old.) Those are the primary components of jewelry shop Arrok's...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Hybrid Race Replica, or HRR, Motorcyle is a material science concept racing bike that harnesses the power of 1 million babies, er, I mean the sun, with its thin film solar paint, as well as colleccts clean backup power...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$59.99 - $64.99 from Amazon »

Defining characteristics of Hoth's tauntauns include a 4-pack of nostrils and a foul body odor. So. Who wants to wear a tauntaun zip-up hoodie? Stamped on the inside by a tauntaun intestines lining? On the upshot, I hear the...

Wednesday, June 4, 2014
$17.68 from Amazon »

While I don't like the allusion to a snake in this product's title, the Flex Cobra personal mister is an otherwise grand addition to the high heat of summer. They had to pick a poisonous one with ear flaps too, didn't they?...

Saturday, October 27, 2012
$275 from Hard Point »

In life, it's important to possess three things with a pistol grip: a pistol; a hairdryer; and a Manticuda knife. Designed for ease of access and supreme thrusting power, the steel Manticuda's fixed blade and 90-degree bend...

Sunday, July 28, 2013
$10.50 from Amazon »

Making dinner. Anymore it's either taxing, convoluted, frustrating, or comes straight from a box/can/Ramen pouch. Why, when you walk into the kitchen and lament, What the F*@# should I make for dinner?, can't there be an immediate...

Friday, November 15, 2013
$38.90 from Etsy »

Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$9.75 from Amazon »

What can I say about the Tetris sandwich cutter except that it cuts sandwiches into shapes based on the all-time best of all games of all time? UNO can barely crawl out of its little paper carton in the presence of Tetris...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$24.95 - $29.95 from PocketStrings »

We need way more products like PocketStrings. Products that allow people to do things that would normally disturb me without disturbing me. The Baby Muzzle was a good start. Now this portable, silent guitar practice tool....

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Monday, June 10, 2013
$79.95 from WickedLasers.com »

For the times you'd rather use the World's Most Powerful Laser to shed light on a situation instead of to incinerate its components, Wicked Lasers' Phosforce flashlight adapter for their Arctic 1W handheld laser pointer will...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014
$21.95 from Amazon »

And I thought it couldn't get any better than R2-D2 measuring cups. Well, really, R2-D2 measuring cups are better than a Death Star cutting board, if for no other reason than their deconstruct/reconstruct Russian doll attributes...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$7.38 from Amazon »

Well, Prism Glasses for reading in bed or Prism Glasses for reading while lying flat on your back on the hood of someone's Honda Civic after you wake up from a drunken pass out and need to smartphone your way into determining...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Although I always say that one of my favorite things to do is sit on my ass, photographic evidence here suggests that Nina Havermans' SHAY work-out stool is going to necessitate my refinement and qualification of that statement....

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Soundfreaq's Double Spot is a home speaker that won't ug up your home. The company has also won awards for their products' sound quality, so I bet its acoustics are pretty good too. The Double Spot in particular has 2 custom...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$14.09 from Amazon »

Ideas? I have lots of them. At least 7 million. Like, how about a southern soul food sushi roll? Fill a steamed collard green leaf with mashed yams, tempura chicken, and some cranberry sauce. Then roll it, slice it, and serve...

Friday, November 2, 2012
$241.12 from Master of Malt »

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome...

Saturday, June 8, 2013
$20.67 from Amazon »

Gators and ostrich and bears, oh my...dayum! Giving bacon gift boxes and Broquets a possible run for their money this Father's Day: Buffalo Bob's Wild Game Jerky. The sampler pack....

Monday, February 17, 2014
$12.36 from Amazon »

Stereotypically, they're awkward. Unathletic. Unpopular. Nasally. Know-it-alls who got no game. In reality, they run the world. And maybe a lot of the 21st century's geeks still do possess some of the qualities of those from...

Monday, September 9, 2013
$99 - $199 from Kapture »

Kapture could easily both save and ruin my life. Because the snazzy wristband doesn't just record voices and conversations, it records them all the time. It runs continuously, collecting audio in 60-second buffered loops...

Tuesday, July 29, 2014
$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Kuel up with Spigen's compact, dual USB car charger, available for $10 off retail price for a limited time through the Dude Exclusives online store....

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Discontinued

What better to test out your Ghostbusters Proton Backpack and Ghost Trap replicas on than a Life-Size Slimer? The wall-mounted, ecto-green spectacle even thrusts forth in 3D, though thankfully artist Jeff Teo cast him in rigid...

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$12 - $85 from Shapeways »

I've never cared much for the word "Claddagh." It sounds like a combination of too many different scary female body parts and sexually transmitted diseases. But the rings themselves are alright if you're into, like, announcing...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$38 - $44 from Amazon »

Here are some giant squishy beasts--Squishables, officially--fashioned after the likes of the Narwhal, T-Rex, Yeti, Cthulhu, Polar Bear, and Android mascot. I know you don't want one. But look: they appear to make ladies happy....

Sunday, August 25, 2013

They call the leggings First Contact Sucks because some are of the opinion that Meeting other intelligent life forms for the first time could probably have gone a little better. What, better than KRA-KOOOOM!? But I love KRA-KOOOOM!...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

While I would trust the paracord to help me in my times of need--jimmying a suspended shelter during floods or stepping in for my broken shoelace during the 3-on-3 playoffs at the YMCA--I have to admit its Vader component...

Thursday, October 25, 2012
$14.93 from Amazon »

How the heckfire did Seth Casteel even come up with this idea of photographing dogs fetching balls and sticks and other lures of underwater canine submersion? Its hilarity--with one wrench of pure horror in the form of a snarling...

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$9.29 - $19.99 from Amazon »

[Cue voice of James Earl Jones.] Rising menacingly from the depths of this cup of chamomile sleepytime tea with a squeeze of lemon...THE KRAKEN! Muahahahaha!...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$59.98 from Amazon »

Here's a blast from Halloween past. And not just OG, circa 1978 Michael Meyers, OG 2.0, circa 1998 Michael Meyers too. Remember when they released the Halloween H20 remake to celebrate the series' 20th anniversary? And Jamie...