A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014
$22.50 - $30 from Etsy »

Jeff Hornung of The Walnut Log handcrafts all of his works from fine and unique woods. In the case of our featured pen series, he incorporates some fine and unique objects as well: bullets. What normally fire out of barrels...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$39.99 from Baconery »

And you thought there was only one way to eat, and then shit, gold. The Baconery's slightly more affordable, 23-karat version of the edible precious metal might even trump Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K.'s pills, as it adds two additional...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$99 - $125 from LifePrint »

For its price, particularly its Kickstarter price, the LifePrint seems pretty convenient and versatile. Its basic function as a WiFi photo printer for Apple and Android smartphones allows anyone with either a WiFi or 3G and up connection to snap a photo, and then beam it through the LifePrint App to the device itself, which pops out a hard copy at home. Even if home is 10,000 miles away. In about...

Thursday, April 3, 2014
$7.99 from Amazon »

I question this Zipstrip's ability to zippily strip cilantro stalks, which is pretty much the only (culinary) herb I'm aware of that doesn't make me want to sneeze and vomit simultaneously, but if you like rosemary, thyme...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Now that flavored vodkas have started to peak in trendiness--I saw Cilantro over the weekend--and most states are prohibiting smoking inside public places, it's only natural that some enterprising company would bring Tobacco...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$7.95 from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use a reminder that tough times don't last. But tough people do. That not everyone has a sob story, and even if they do, it's no excuse (credit: the great Stephen Chbosky). That...

Thursday, May 9, 2013
$29.99 from Pure Gear »

Retro game smartphone cases go legitimately retro--like back to the 1920s when the only people still alive who would remember pachinko boards and ball mazes as their primary form of childhood entertainment really can't remember...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$63.14 - $70.73 from Amazon »

When you're rollin' (rollin'), rollin' (rollin'), rollin' on the river for enough days you figure out that if you fell in the following would occur:...

Thursday, August 7, 2014

What's this? Reverse psychology at work? Nope, no mind games or salesman trickery here at all: name your price, and you'll get up to 7 actionable Web dev training courses. That's 93+ hours of instruction on topics ranging...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014
$4.98 from Amazon »

When I send a package, send the bumper that's hanging off my car back to its rightful place on my car, and send a general message that I'm just trying to kill it at life, I also like to send the Bat-Signal. In glow-in-the-dark...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$1,799 - $3,499 from Elliptigo »

If you thought the future was incubating in the frames of Google Glass and laces of Marty McFly Nikes, then behold the offspring of the gym's dorkiest piece of cardio equipment and urbanity's most aggressive sharer of the...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$6.65 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled by the MY3D Viewer's cheap plastic look and the implications of Amazon's selling it for 73% off at printing. This purveyor of 3D and 360-degree iPhone and iPod touch entertainment has largely favorable buyer...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This belongs on The Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. This bed made of ash and featuring silk curtains, is part of a collection of furniture. I think this bed is probably too good for me. If I laid my dirty feet down on...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$31.99 from Amazon »

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions....

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Double up on the fish & chips and nuggets with fries, or cook one big vat of extra crispy fried chicken with Secura's triple-basket deep fryer. The electric countertop model contains a 1700-watt immersion element said to preheat...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$20.57 from Amazon »

The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$15.81 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$14.18 from Amazon »

Everyone loves superheros. Super villains. Super powers. Super tales of good vs. evil. And flashy graphics. Don't forget the loud spectral colors and ripped/buxom exaggerations of flashy graphics. That's the allure of comic...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
$35 from HALO »

That bunny rabbit in the red HALO pet collar might be the cutest non-human woman I have ever seen. Even cuter than that Pomeranian with its own product line that disgruntles me by way of melting my heart every time I see it....

Friday, October 5, 2012
$25 - $65 from Amazon »

This Halloween, dress like you grew up in Iowa. The many men of Slipknot have many faces, most of them incredibly disturbing and fitting for a night of scaring the ever-loving sweet Jesus out of kiddos and seniors and maybe...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$349 from Pet Chatz »

The simulation of being at home when you're not at home. It's the new black. And from smartphone-controlled security systems to interactive pet communication systems like the Petcube and, now, PetChatz, the application of...

Monday, August 27, 2012
$12.45 from Amazon »

Well I for one would much rather open up a sardine can to find a Zombie Apocalypse survival kit containing 25 items for use in fending solo in the face of the end of days than a malodorous row of actual sardines. This sardine...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$117.60 from Garrett Wade »

Anyone else snicker at the Super-Penetration Shovel's name? Come on, we're all intelligent adults here and, as such, know that the most popular application for the word "penetration" does not involve unruly terrain in the...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$45 from Etsy »

Panda bears have a notoriously low sex drive in captivity. Some of them don't even seem to know how to do it. Zookeepers must spend countless hours showing pandas bear porn and demo videos to light the fire below their bellies*....

Friday, May 16, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

Don't worry. The makers of the Giant Cockroach assure us that, like sexy time toys and weight loss pills, your 6-foot-tall, 40-inch-wide pool float crafted in the image of the country's most reviled vermin will ship in a plain...

Monday, May 28, 2012
$5.21 - $6.50 from Amazon »

Panama Jack left the neon zinc oxide sunscreen game too early. Now that fluorescent orange, yellow, and pink are back--in a full-on, legitimate, non-humorous, non-ironic sort of way no less--I have to give a shout out to the...

Thursday, June 7, 2012
$40 - $275 from Andromeda Glass »

Usually when some smug schmuck tells me to put that in my pipe and smoke it I must restrain myself from punching them in the face. But I think part of the reason such restraint is necessary is that I don't often enough put...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$160 from 80stees.com »

By the power of Greyskull! No, wait, that's not it. It's Morphin time! Uh...getting closer, but...no. Hold on...ah, here we go. These robotic lion fangs were impeding the movement of my cerebral neurons. Activate interlock!...

Saturday, May 3, 2014
$25.21 from Amazon »

Boy do I love cheese. Even though sometimes it gives me gas so sulfurically heinous my mama asks if I'm running a pulp mill in my ass. I just feel like if the choice is pizza & pain or no pizza & a life of sadness, the gagging...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

Who doesn't love avocados? Besides people who hate avocados? No one! And one tool all avocado lovers should have is three tools! In one! OXO's 3-in-1 avocado slicer slits, pits, slashes, and scoops fleshy green about-to-be-guacamole...

Sunday, September 18, 2011
Discontinued

Nothing says you mean business in a fight (or life) like a set of deer antlers fashioned into brass knuckles gripped loosely in an open hand. I think just wearing them is enough to deliver a firm message. What that message...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
$49 million from Yahoo »

Think the washer and dryer included? This place has to be seen to be believed. Can someone who lives in LA drive by there and tell them you want to get some video for DudeIWantThat.com? Also get a video of their response when...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$25 from Bakery Ave. »

I guess you could make cheeseburger cupcake brownies yourself if you know how to bake cupcakes and brownies, and apply icing without squirting it all over your kitchen cabinets, but I don't. Also, things always taste better...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$6.79 from Amazon »

Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$7.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of your...

Monday, September 15, 2014
$36 from Etsy »

In the words of the great Salt 'n' Pepa: You're a shotgun--bang! What's up with that thang? I wanna know how does it hang? Here, the answer is in the (fire)arms of an AR-15, and--...

Monday, March 24, 2014
$179 from Amazon »

Compatible with Android and iOS, the Netatmo Urban Weather Station will track and provide comprehensive feedback on your immediate environment. It's an entirely personal weather device with one tracking module for interior...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$29.99 from Jamboo Headphones »

Rock out with your co...nscientious bamboo and thread headphones out. Jamboo headphones add eco-friendly materials and stylized flair to what has become a fixture dangling from the ears of many a cool kid on campus, at the...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Of course I don't need a mitten-koozie hybrid so that I may drink chilled alcoholic beverages in freezing temperatures, one right after another like the gluttonous, midwestern lush that I am, without rendering my delicate...

Bar
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
$12.99 from Uncommon Goods »

Ahhh, the marriage of bottle opener and beer glass. We have reached the pinnacle of efficiency and consolidation. Nothing left to do now but go home. And pop the top off a cold one....

Monday, August 15, 2011
$18.09 from Amazon »

Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality is...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$299 - $1,999 from i'm Smart »

In 5 words or less: Italian-made Android wrist candy. i'm Watch pours smartphone functionality--from calls to texts to calendars to apps--into a sleek personal effect forged from your choice of aluminum, titanium, gold, or...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$275 from »

The Soundlazer is a parametric speaker that harnesses the power of ultrasonic sound. Sounds cool, huh? But, uh, what's a parametric speaker, and how about a refresher on ultrasonic sound? If you're feeling how I felt when...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The next best thing to a deal on Adobe software? A deal on the courses that will tell you how the sun-dried brick to use Adobe software. Get your lifetime access to over 5,000 Adobe training videos (plus other Web design teachings)...

Saturday, June 28, 2014
$47.95 from Amazon »

The Predator bobblehead reminds me that I need to take revenge on this guy with an FJ Cruiser who parks next to me at work. He has a gold Japanese fortune cat mounted on his front dash that is perpetually, menacingly...waving....

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The LEGO Swiss Army Knife! It's not for sale yet, but if you like it, vote the Technic-Bionicle creation into official company review over at LEGO CUUSOO (the strangest and most cumbersome name for a Website I think I've ever...

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
$5.99 from Amazon »

Despite the ominous reputation it's earned by way of musical theater and Rick Moranis (hey, two completely relevant references to Rick Moranis in a week!) the Venus flytrap is a pretty lame carnivore. Kind of like girls who...

Friday, April 11, 2014
$31.97 from Amazon »

The only redeeming qualities of being on an airplane are that I can guiltlessly spend 3 to 9 hours doing nothing but eating, getting drunk, and watching full seasons of Battlestar Galactica. However, this is also problematic...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$912 from The Macallan »

Nothing warms my heart more than the marriage of two renowned brands well out of my price range. Here, The Macallan Scotch and rugged apparel and accessories magnate Oakley have collaborated on a tactical, indestructible way...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014
$19.40 from Amazon »

In a sweeping gesture of whimsy and irony, this ice cream sandwich will help you to float along the water's sparkling surface rather than bloat your gut with dairy and sugar and drop you like a sack of...ice cream sandwiches...to...

Friday, November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100 from Shapeways »

Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Discontinued

The months leading up to Resident Evil 6's anticipated November 2012 release should be filled with wishful speculation, ripples of spoilers, and inexplicable urges to quell the suspense by amassing random bits of RE merch....

Bar
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$2,499.99 - $3,699.99 from Party Robotics »

Robots do it better. The "it" this time: cocktails. Bartendro, a modular, open-source cocktail dispensing robot, makes a bevy of mixed drinks reliably and consistently in about 10 seconds a pop. Setups come with either 3...

Tuesday, July 22, 2014
$23 from Amazon »

Given that I chew the ever-loving gobstoppers out of my fingernails, I'm obviously not too concerned about germs. But I am concerned about touching things with Cheetos-crusted hands and getting yelled at by my mama for leaving...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014
$29.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

The key to turning your contemporary American comedy into a cult comedy classic: crusty day 3 stubble. And now you can relish all of your favorite razor-abhorring comedic actors of the 2000s ad infinitum with this Ultimate...

Sunday, February 9, 2014
$57.95 from Amazon »

They term the type of massage RumbleRoller's Beastie Bar delivers "aggressive." I think you could also call it "penetrating," "effectively deep," and "more painful than a head-butt in the hamstring from a unicorn." Look at...

Saturday, June 21, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

One thing about feet is that they reek. And one thing about feet and summer is that they reek exponentially more during this season of high heat and outdoor exploits. That said, the worst thing I've ever smelled was not the...

Wednesday, May 7, 2014
$8.68 from Amazon »

I guess they couldn't decide whether people would prefer to skewer their corn with pirate or ninja swords, so they just made a set incorporating both. Alien vs. Predator-style. Pirate vs. Ninja--who would win that battle?...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and...

Saturday, December 15, 2012
$179.99 from Amazon »

After that Outkast song came out about shaking it like a Polaroid picture, Polaroid had to issue an official press release advising its customers not to shake the photos at the risk of compromising their quality. Fun story...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I suppose the Dope Swimsuit describes how the women wearing it look and feel, as well as what the men who see these women act like they have been smoking. A jet black one-piece with "Dope" spelled in hip cursive just slightly...

Monday, November 18, 2013
$31 - $66 from Sphyke »

Even if you're not an indignant, self-important cyclist with a $3,500 carbon fiber bike and a fat chip on your emaciated shoulder it really sucks when you lock up your manpowered transporter like a responsible citizen, only...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$800 from Etsy »

Talk about tying a room together. Etsy shop owner Allie, self-described hoarder and clearcut winner of Best Latch-Hooker on Earth*, spent over 220 hours immortalizing The Dude in dream sequence rug form. Urinate on this heart-stopping...