Magic Tap Automatic Drink Dispenser

$11.99 from Amazon »

Using the Magic Tap, an automatic drink dispenser, isn't about being too lazy to lift a gallon of milk or Costco-sized bottle of OJ out of the fridge, and then heave it up to pour in my coffee or bowl of Poop Like a Champion...

Face Mask for Dogs

$12.99 - $15.99 from Amazon »

KN95? How about a K995? It's not just the 'rona pet owners might consider a face mask for dogs to protect their pooches from. It's the smoke from forest fires. The construction debris from a kitchen remodel. The pollen...

Flame Effect Light Bulbs

$16.99 - $39.99 from Amazon »

Brainstorm! These flickering flame effect light bulbs burn blue or orange atop an E26 bulb base - i.e., the standard size for most of your lamps, electrically wired skeletons, and Uncle Fester...

Kitchen Squeegee & Countertop Brush

$9.98 from Amazon »

In thinking of what to tell you about this kitchen squeegee and countertop brush combo, I started thinking a lot about the word "squeegee." And then I started saying "squeegee" over and over again in my head. And you...

Heroes' Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook

$24.31 from Amazon »

When I first saw Heroes' Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook, I kind of laughed and muttered to myself, Here's your gift for the geeks this year, dudes. But then I remembered I just saw Ronda Rousey on Hot Ones, and Sean...

E68: What Is This Thing?

$39.99 from Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 68 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Grinch Christmas Tree Decoration & Ornament Holder

$50 from Etsy »

I know. I've just put the Grinch Christmas tree decoration and ornament holder in front of your face 2 weeks before Halloween. I know. Normally, talking about Christmas before Halloween makes me throw up in my mouth and...

Tertill Garden Weeding Robot

$349 from Tertill »

Hey dude, got any weeeeeds? Yeah? Well, the Tertill is a garden weeding robot that doesn't just whack them for you, but travels continuously throughout your garden, churning up the top layer of soil, and preventing them...

Woodsum Functional DIY Pinhole Camera Kit

$63 from Amazon »

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it is worth a thousand hours of putting together one of Wooodsum's DIY Pinhole Cameras? OK, maybe a thousand is a bit of an exaggeration. The kit actually specifies 2 to 4 hours...

Silicone Bucket Squeeze-It Ice Cube Maker

$14.99 - $15.99 from Amazon »

Feeling hot, thirsty, and...aggressive? Freeze up this silicone bucket ice cube maker and, when your water is chilled, squeeze it to release the cubes. No, don't just squeeze it, crush it. Take the bucket between the...

Paladyne E1000MP Drone Jammer

Drone Defence says the Paladyne E1000MP is a drone jammer, part of a series of portable "electronic countermeasures" designed to jack up the command, video, and navigation signals of IIIFOs. Identified, intrusive, and...

Bat Face Mask

Indeed, all the best superheroes wear masks. And wearing this Bat Mask - serving triple duty as a protective face mask, a fitting addition to your Halloween costume, and a 10/10 badass design - will indeed make you a...

The Addams Family Uncle Fester Lamp

$2,720 from Etsy »

Fester's Quest, based on the 1960s Addams Family TV show, was the first non-Mario, non-Tetris Nintendo game I ever got. It was really hard, and I sucked at it. Usually I died within 10 minutes, and spent the next 2 hours...

Shark Fart Prank Gift Boxes

If you think the idea of a shark fart sounds funny all by itself (teeheehee, I do) wait 'til you see the hilarious execution of the Anal Explorer Starter Kit, Electric Fence Bed Divider, and Adult Diaper Garter Belt Set...

SpyX Light Hand - Glowing Fingers to Navigate the Dark

$17.49 from Amazon »

I'm not sure "light hand" would be the first superpower I'd pick, but if the gods or, like, the ghost of Thomas Edision, were offering, I sure wouldn't turn it down. No more nightlights or mini flashlights bulking up...

Estwing Machete with Saw-Back Blade

$48.39 from Amazon »

The Estwing Machete with its saw-back blade brings us a lifehack in all senses of the word. Literally, this bad boy will hack away all the shizit in your life - from blackberry bushes overtaking the backyard to kindling-ripe...

Shape Your Own Cake Silicone Molds

$16.99 from Amazon »

She-Ra: Princess of Power baked me a cake today. Custom-shaped using a set of link-and bend silicone molds like these. It's a yellow cake with chocolate chips, frosted in mint chocolate icing, and decorated with...I don't...

The Game of Nasty Things

$19.04 from Amazon »

The Game of Nasty Things outrages and offends in the spirit of Cards Against Humanity but, in my opinion, is a more creative - albeit more challenging - party game to play. Think of it as the difference between the Reverse...

Inflatable Jetpack Costume

$49.95 from Amazon »

The best part of the Jetpack Pick Me Up, an inflatable jetpack costume from Morph, is that it says "Acme Jetpack" on the side. Shout out to Looney Tunes!...

The Golden Girls Cookbook

$20.01 from Amazon »

Oh boy, Golden Girls Cookbook, I can't wait for my wife to make me some treats from St. Olaf! "Oooh, what's this delectable baked goodness, my darling She-Ra: Princess of Power?"...

Mad Fly Sports Raptor Football

$49.99 from Amazon »

Part glider, part football, part foam airplane, the Raptor Football from Mad Fly Sports is here to help you get into the spirit of Fall 2020...

Dude Card Game - It's a Game Where You Say Dude

$9.95 from Amazon »

Dude, let me start off by saying I am in no way affiliated with Dude the card game. Nor have I ever played the Game Where You Say Dude. But, dude, come on. It's like Dude coming home to Dude...

Human Skull Bowl

$175 - $195 from Etsy »

As provocative and...meaty...as the Human Skull Bowl photo above is, scroll on through the Additional Images gallery. Keep going. All the way to the end, where you'll find the one that turns a macabre creation perfect...

Life-Size Climbing Zombie

Sold Out from Amazon »

My mama asked me to decorate her house for Halloween, so...one dozen Life-Size Climbing Zombies it is. I hate carving pumpkins...