SOS Boxer Briefs with Condom Pocket

Nothing tells your date, I was pretty sure I'd get lucky tonight, like a sexy pair of boxer briefs. With a built-in condom pocket. Hidden with great metaphor behind a lifesaver stitched to the right thigh. Ah, the only...

Wine Purse

$39.95 from Amazon »

So is this why women carry around purses the size of their chest cavities? They're packing 3 liters of wine (with complete tapping system!) everywhere they go?...

Snowflake Nano Drone

$39.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

I can't give it the name it deserves since George Lucas would throw a temper tantrum, but I can say that this is the drone you've been looking for. And for a limited time you can pre-order it for 60% off its eventual...

PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella

$149 - $219 from PowerShade »

I can hear the naysaying negative Nellies now: The beach is for disconnecting!; Can't you enjoy nature for an hour without your laptop?; Why don't you just stay home, A-hole? Um, because I would like to get a tan, and...

Cyclist's Turn Signal Gloves

Sold Out from Amazon »

I guess if you don't know that a straight arm means left and a bent elbow means right - which, let's face it, a lot of people probably don't - then Zackees LED Turn Signal Gloves would be of great benefit, both to the...

Bussola Mechanical Skeletel Sculpture

While artist Jennifer Townley's Bussola is intricate and enamoring enough that I could probably watch it move all day long, for some reason watching it at all brings great uneasiness to my heart. Maybe it's the lumbering...

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Rhino Shield iPhone Screen & Crash Guard

$44.99 from Evolutive Labs »

You've heard of the Rhino Shield before. At only 0.029 cm thick and cut to adhere precisely to the iPhone 6 or 6+ screen, Rhino Shield's custom formulated polymer safeguards the most precious devices we own from an impressive...

Chocolate Megalodon Shark Teeth

$15.99 from Fossilera »

Why eat a chocolate bunny for Easter this year when you can eat...all the chocolate bunnies on earth with a massive chocolate megalodon shark tooth? Muahahaha! These edible and...wait for it...toothsome replicas are molded...

Jive Jumbo Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker

$22.95 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Oh crap, another speaker lost to the fish bowl. Or is it?...

Chinese Takeout Laundry Hamper

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Got some aromatic Moo Shu tube socks or accidental Kung Pao pants? Throw 'em in this Chinese takeout box hamper for easy transport to the laundromat and your mama's laundry room alike. The sweet (& sour) take on our favorite...

BioLite NanoGrid Lighting & Charging System

$99.95 from BioLite »

Three years ago BioLite very successfully took its CampStove with device charger to market as a compact, clean energy approach to outdoor cooking. They followed up with the larger, equally popular BaseCamp Stove. Today...

Magic Tatts 3D Animated Tattoos

$9.99 from Magic Tatts »

Want to make your tattoos come to life without eating hallucinogenic fungi? Then trade the magic mushrooms for some Magic Tatts, temporary tattoos that interact with an accompanying iOS/Android app to create animated...

Star Trek USS Enterprise Sushi Set

$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you thought eating sushi off a wooden boat was good times, just wait until you soy-and-wasabi up your spicy tuna roll in the heart of the USS Enterprise. The most boldly gone of all sushi sets, this nod to Star Trek...

1907 Harley-Davidson Strap Tank Motorcycle

$800k - $1 million from Mecum Auctions »

Harley and the Davidsons finished their first, single-cylinder, 116cc motorcycle prototype in 1903. It wasn't a lemon per se, but it lacked a motorcycle's defining characteristic: power. Their second bike, developed just...

BusyBody Desktop Animation Toy

$24.95 from Eye Think Inc. »

When Rufus Seder emailed me a video of his BusyBody desktop animation toy I was so busy (i.e., lazy) I almost didn't watch it. What are these, a bunch of little Gumbies on a mirrored merry-go-round? I've got too many...

Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle

$29.49 from Firebox.com »

Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...

Kisha Smart Umbrella

$49 from Kisha »

Nothing makes me more irate than getting stuck in a downpour than getting stuck in a downpour with a flimsy, POS umbrella. The Kisha is a solid piece of rain-shielding construction made from 100% windproof and corrosion-proof...

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Giveaway Entry Is Closed
The Space Jacket

Giveaway: The Space Jacket

When I was a young boy I told my mama when I grew up I wanted to be a spaceman. And instead of saying, "Aww honey, that's wonderful. You can be anything you set your mind to," and then giving me a trophy for eating one...

Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...

Halfpops - Half-popped Popcorn

$43.77 from Amazon »

Halfpops are the Hans & Franz of popcorn. Where sissy girly men might eat airy, puffy, pouf clouds for snacks, real Alphas eat Halfpops. Halfpops take your regular popcorn kernels and [clap] pump them up. Less popping...

Dragon Evolution Sword

$31.95 from Amazon »

I think it's fair to say that any sword that calls itself The Dragon Evolution Sword, but advertises that it features a double dragon pommel..."with letter opener" is not the type of sword that could actually slay a dragon....

Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle

How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...

6 Million Digits of Pi Poster

$20.95 from ExaText Posters »

It's Pi Day! Happy 3.14.15. You'll be able to celebrate this momentous occasion only once in your lifetime, so I hope you have something good cooked up for tonight. I myself will be living it up with many different types...

BACtrack Mobile Breathalyzer

$84.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get BACtrack Mobile, a smartphone-attached breathalyzer and app, as it blows through Dude Exclusives at 57% off retail value....

Shower Surfer Neoprene Bath Caddy

$29.99 from ShowerSurfer.com »

Know what your shampoo needs? A wetsuit. The Shower Surfer is a neoprene shower and bath caddy that secures implements of hygiene without: 1) falling off your shower head pipe and smashing your foot; 2) rusting; and 3)...

Wingman Shot Glass

$8.95 from Amazon »

Just in time for St. Paddy's Day: super hot girls getting super drunk on shots! And also a swell and enabling 2-person shot glass to prod them along. Ahhh, ain't nothing like a holiday, alcohol, and teamwork to send a...

Oracle Color-Changing Lightsaber with Sound

Sold Out from Amazon »

Vader one day, Yoda the next. Go from the Dark Side to the Light, or go the other way for some cookies, with Saberz's Oracle, a lightsaber fitted with the company's Prizm tech to produce a rainbow of colors and 3 different...

NES Cartridge Cutting Board

$40 - $50 from Etsy »

Dave Stencil of Cutting Boredom has a place for you to slice and dice your mushrooms. You know, in case you prefer to eat them bite by bite instead of chest bumping or head butting them to get bigger. His NES cartridge...

Digital Tape Measure

$39.51 from Amazon »

One thing I am not so great at is measuring things to within 1/16". How tedious it is counting all those little hash marks. I think we should just round to the nearest foot. That's what I did in the online dating profile...

Pizza Box Oven

$299.99 from Amazon »

It's not delivery. And it's not DiGiorno*. It's homemade pizza from the Cuizen Pizza Box Oven. And it's so adorable I can hardly look at it without squealing. And by squealing I mean feeling an overwhelming urge to smoke...

Pheromone-Enhanced Tactical Soap

Tyler Durden doesn't need any help from pheromones to get laid, but, uh, I could maybe use some if they work. And Tactical Soap maker Grondyke Soap Company assures me the evidence suggests that they do. Tactical Soap...

Water Misting Fan with Carabiner Clip

$7.48 from Amazon »

I filed this water misting fan under Style --> Accessories because even though the O2 Cool companion was primarily made to provide some quick and instant relief on a hot day, making it more of an Outdoors --> Tools...

PancakeBot Pancake Printer

$179 from Kickstarter »

Turn a Picasso...or your own boobie scribbles...into edible, delectable art with the PancakeBot, the world's first pancake printer, and the world's latest entirely unnecessary invention! Mama! I'm tired of circles and...

BatteryBox Portable MacBook Charger

$134.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

What's in your box? Your stash? A campfire? A Gaga? Aw, just a battery? Well, does it at least contain enough power to give an additional 6 hours of life to my MacBook Pro? Alright then, I guess I'm still mildly interested....

Bullet Bouquets

$29.95 - $214.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...

Got Snipped Vasectomy Gift Baskets

$34.99 - $75.99 from Got Snipped »

It's that mad, mad, mad, mad time of year. With March comes Selection Sunday. With Selection Sunday comes the NCAA Tournament. And with the NCAA Tournament comes...vasectomies. Lots and lots of vasectomies. More vasectomies...

Lunar Legacy Combat Sword

$26.99 from Amazon »

I love the Amazon Q&A sections. Because, like another potentially interested party, I too was wondering if the Lunar Legacy would be a good sword for battle or just display. Three current owners responded, with two of...

Nerdwax Glasses Grip

$9.99 from Amazon »

Glasses-wearing nerds rejoice! Glasses-wearing non-nerds and sunglasses-wearing anyone can do a little jig too if you ever have trouble keeping your specs and shades positioned securely on your face without constantly...

The Sting Fixed Blade Knife

$37.62 from Amazon »

A boot or belt blade through and through, Columbia River Knife & Tool says its Sting is a knife meant for walking. The 3.1" black spear point features 2 edges whittled from a single solid piece of hot forged carbon steel...

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Giveaway Entry Is Closed
Haze Vaporizer

Giveaway: Haze Vaporizer

Things I do discreetly: 1) Spit out gristly pieces of chicken after I bite into them; 2) Ball her; 3) Toke up in public. Strawberry and chocolate smoking oils only, of course. Now you can partake in the herbal refreshment...

Selfie Vibrator with HD Camera (NSFW)

$110.41 from Amazon »

It doesn't have to be a holiday or special occasion to surprise your lady with a thoughtful gift. The Svakom Gaga Sex Selfie Stick even has a foolproof, built-in mechanism for gauging how much she likes it. Come on, sugar...

Cinder Sensing Cooker

$299 from Cinder »

Cinder looks a little like a Foreman, acts a little like a sous vide machine, and makes the food it turns out taste a little like the best steak/salmon/caramelized onions you've ever had. At least according to the Sensing...

Onion Holder & Odor Remover

$10.85 from Amazon »

Some things that suck about raw onions besides the way they linger on my palate and infiltrate every burp I belch for the next 36 hours include: 1) Make me cry like a 9-year-old girl at her guinea pig's funeral when I...

vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

HyperIce Vyper Vibrating Foam Roller

$183.64 from Amazon »

Hey look, it's a new BDSM toy for pain seekers muscle recovery tool for athletes. You've might have seen foam rollers here before, and you might have seen HyperIce brainchildren here before, but this hybrid of hurts so...

Dandelight

$140 from Moma Store »

Have you heard of tulip mania, a period during the Dutch Golden Age when people were playing tulip bulbs like the pre-2008 real estate market, paying exorbitant amounts of money for what was essentially a big fat seed?...

Puff-N-Fluff Dog Dryer

$39.99 - $44.99 from Amazon »

Nine-year-old Marissa Streng came up with the Puff-N-Fluff bag. To dry her pug, Mojo, after a bath, after a swim, after coming in from the rain, after any time she preferred not gagging and retching to inhaling the ripe...

Ninja Garden Gnome

$30.49 from Firebox.com »

Gardenzilla taking out all of your lawn ornaments? Sounds like a job for [cue music] Ninja Gnome! The squirrels and my neighbor's cat Willard better watch out too. This assassin may be tiny...and made of, like, resin...but...