A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99 from Amazon »

I'm not on the best of terms with my smoke alarm. First it fell from the ceiling and went off. Then I left a few pounds of bacon in the skillet for too long and it went off. Then I had this girl over to watch Major League...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013
$20 from Etsy »

Looks like we're gonna have a grotesque perversion of the fuzzy, frolicky, happy animals emblematic of every major holiday now. First Phillip Blackman took on Valentine's Day with his Undead Teds, and here Undead Ed tackles...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and Bodice Rockers fall down but they get right back up and stand just as tall as they did before. So I guess they're more similar to Rocky Balboa than Weebles. But they're not fighters or, like, aggressive at all. In fact, the purpose of the curved modern loungers is to stay out of the way. They convert from utilitarian furniture to space-saving, yet striking...

Friday, November 2, 2012
$24.32 from Amazon »

Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$117.60 from Garrett Wade »

Anyone else snicker at the Super-Penetration Shovel's name? Come on, we're all intelligent adults here and, as such, know that the most popular application for the word "penetration" does not involve unruly terrain in the...

Friday, January 31, 2014
$7.89 from Amazon »

Eggs. They're almost as fragile as cats and guinea pigs. Better suit them up for the battle then. The battle they're still going to lose with my stomach. Sorry little hard-boiled ovo-knights. You're just no match for my brutishly strong man hands. I'm afraid I'm even going to steal your spoon sword for use in hacking open and devouring you....

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$79 from Bosse Tools »

I'm not sure I approve of the Bosse Tools ethos. An ergonomic shovel for driving through dirt and clearing snow that precludes its users from walking away from the grunt work with tweaked backs, sore wrists, and gimp arms?...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

I wonder if they ship it packed in porcelain. Though an official nod to Dude, Where's My Car? UFO cultists and their leader, Zoltan, the Bubble Wrap Suit really transcends circa 2000 stoner flick pigeon holes in its practicality...

Friday, February 10, 2012
$3,499 from LifeGem »

From ashes to ashes...to bedazzled ashes. Gone are the days of keeping the deceased in our hearts. In their place? Keeping the deceased around our fingers, atop our wrists, or dangling from our necks. LifeGem diamonds are...

Sunday, February 10, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose the beanie...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$39.99 from Baconery »

And you thought there was only one way to eat, and then shit, gold. The Baconery's slightly more affordable, 23-karat version of the edible precious metal might even trump Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K.'s pills, as it adds two additional...

Monday, December 2, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

At first I was like, This is the ugliest ugly Christmas sweater I've ever seen. It is so ugly it's not even ironic, it's just ugly. Then my (newly single!) friend Cornelius reminded me it looks like Will Ferrell as Buddy the...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$80 - $150 from Etsy »

In stark contrast to how I feel about bellybuttons, if I got one of Shannon Conrad's interlocking LEGO rings, I would much rather have an outie than an innie....

Monday, October 28, 2013

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS CAN'T...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$299 - $1,999 from i'm Smart »

In 5 words or less: Italian-made Android wrist candy. i'm Watch pours smartphone functionality--from calls to texts to calendars to apps--into a sleek personal effect forged from your choice of aluminum, titanium, gold, or...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$249 from Amazon »

NewSpin Golf hopes their SwingSmart Duo will continue to be a standout amongst the bevy of golf swing analyzers and digital coaches that have emerged with mobile tech and apps. The self-training system pairs a swing sensor...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The complete evolutionary tree of the video game controller, tracking 82 species and 9 genera over four decades. Printed in rich indigo ink. My favorite is still the Intellivision controller which was basically a phone dialpad...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$9.79 from Amazon »

I chose a pug to help convey the meaning of this Stop Eating Poop remedy for dogs because pugs both mow on their own turds and suck in general. OK listen. I love all nature's creatures. Mostly the human women kind, but all...

Bar
Monday, April 7, 2014
$5.99 from Amazon »

I drink all my wine on the rocks, so I don't really need a wine bottle thermometer, but if you're into the whole tradition and preservation and quality thing, maybe you'd like to slip this thermal readout cuff onto your favorite...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$16.05 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$12 - $39 from CRL Products »

Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types: Aluminum;...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$22 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you for your...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$89.99 from Amazon »

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble. That's from Shakespeare, I think. Or it might be from the smash hit feature film Practical Magic, starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as respectively responsible/prudish and carefree/bad...

Monday, July 9, 2012
$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch or nip...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Doxie One could have solved a problem I encountered a few weeks ago when I hauled out the 15-pound hp scanner I bought in 2003 to transfer some hard documents to my laptop. Everyone in the room started laughing at me and...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$1,650 - $1,750 from Squirrel »

Skydiving, BASE jumping, walking down the street: success in these extreme adventures isn't so much about having skills and balls as it is about having the right gear. For example, when I walk down the street, I just make...

Monday, October 28, 2013
$179 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console me...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

Sunday, January 6, 2013
$4.95 from Trongs »

Obviously I like eating with my hands. It goes with the territory of being a man. Buuut...I really hate when BBQ and Buffalo wing sauce get under my fingernails and into the cuts I have from doing manly things with my hands...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$13.12 - $29.95 from Amazon »

Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that guards...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Sold Out from Etsy »

Stereotypes collide in this brainy game meets brawny hardware Tool Chess set. Each piece has been handcrafted from real nuts and bolts, plus additional steel flourishes to distinguish powder coated black and white pawns, knights...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Here's a practical, $50,000 solution to the conundrum of...ummm...BBQing on float trips without leaving the water? Executing the 1-2 punch of catching and cooking fish to order? Romantic roundtable dining cruises with expertly...

Sunday, May 13, 2012
$24 from Games World »

Neon and mesh clothing are back in style, why not the Game Boy wrist watch? Though while Forever 21 has an entire 787 hangar full of hot pink, highlighter yellow, and retina-blasting green fishnets and half shirts, this little...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Giveaway: HooToo TripMate Wireless Travel Router 55
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
$49.99 from Amazon »

Enter to win a HooToo Tripmate and turn your wired network wireless on the go for Internet access by multiple devices, file sharing, and, when batteries get low, a backup power bank. Read on to learn more about the portable...

Friday, February 8, 2013

And I don't mean the kind of airplane trunk Auntie Heloise carries when she travels. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk, an all-inclusive, roller work station, is quilted in polished aluminum panels held together with exposed steel...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$399 - $999 from Amazon »

This visual sales pitch for the Chilipad, a mattress cover that can cool or heat his and her respective halves of the bed, might be my favorite photo I've seen all summer, and no one is even naked or wielding a sword or dressed...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
$37.13 from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$19.67 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$63.14 - $70.73 from Amazon »

When you're rollin' (rollin'), rollin' (rollin'), rollin' on the river for enough days you figure out that if you fell in the following would occur:...

Monday, October 14, 2013
$73 - $128 from Etsy »

Sterling silver, copper, and the aura of someone up to no good. Maybe a psycho chef. A sociopathic sadist. Your mom. (Zing! It's like Patrick Stewart. It never gets old.) Those are the primary components of jewelry shop Arrok's...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$149.99 from Podium Cycling »

When I first heard about the Pee-wee Herman cycling suit I thought I had been proven wrong in my contention that nothing on earth could make cyclists look any more ridiculous than they already do. Seriously, does any sport...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$6.98 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled by the MY3D Viewer's cheap plastic look and the implications of Amazon's selling it for 73% off at printing. This purveyor of 3D and 360-degree iPhone and iPod touch entertainment has largely favorable buyer...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$2,060 from Singulier »

Backpacking season is drawing to a close, but here's a ray of sunshine to keep you fueled through the harsh winter: Eastpak's Backpack Sofa, a rigid polyurethane foam and cordura concoction that promises to replicate the discomforts...

Thursday, December 15, 2011
$24.67 from Amazon »

Holy shit, I'm feeling epically perplexused just looking at this gnarled sphere of chaos. And that's not even the interactive fun part. Inside the visual affront is a little steel ball, which must be wound around the structure's...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Friday, December 7, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Girls next door, meet your neighbor Totoro. And wear him as a cloak. How cute and fuzzy and irresistible you will be together. Skipping down the street. Cuddling in front of the TV. Making me drool at Comic-Con. Totoro is...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.74 from Amazon »

Plate Dip Clips attach to plates and hold dip. So it won't bleed all over your food before you're ready for it, or nuzzle up to items it isn't meant to touch, or run amok on the flat plate surface and become more of a scrape...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

I like designating what's mine and what's yours, particularly when what's mine is bigger/better/faster/closer to the front/equipped with a hot tub. Eugenie2's pillowcases are a terrific example of and flawless conformance...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Chest bumps, head butts, and sharp kicks to the shins unite! The Human Slingshot is here to bring new meaning to the lead-in, "Guess who I ran into the other day?" The human-sized stretchable band, 4 close friends (or mortal...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$35.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
$35 from HALO »

That bunny rabbit in the red HALO pet collar might be the cutest non-human woman I have ever seen. Even cuter than that Pomeranian with its own product line that disgruntles me by way of melting my heart every time I see it....

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$7.16 from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$269 from Amazon »

Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*....

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$1,799 - $3,499 from Elliptigo »

If you thought the future was incubating in the frames of Google Glass and laces of Marty McFly Nikes, then behold the offspring of the gym's dorkiest piece of cardio equipment and urbanity's most aggressive sharer of the...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$24 from Wine Folly »

Wine Folly has released this quasi-satirical, though largely legit and helpful, infographic to assist self-conscious or indecisive wine buyers in the selection of the perfect bottle to bring, serve, or guzzle down solo while...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
$11.50 from Amazon »

Now everyone can engage in Ninja battles and perform the ol' sword down the throat trick. If you start choking during the latter, just calm down. The Samurice should melt quickly, both freeing up your air passageway and imparting...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$99.95 from DropLED »

To confirm the accuracy of its name, someone subjected the DropLED Pro Harsh Duty Bulb to a few tests. 300 direct hits to a cinder block. Crushing under a forklift. Placing against the interior side of Drax the Destroyer's...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$10.98 from Amazon »

Oompa Loompas don't need brooms, they use Illoom Balloons to zoom o'er the moon....

Saturday, September 14, 2013
$7.95 from I Love Handles »

Although I recently made the astute observation that no one uses pens to write things down anymore, now that these Paperback sticky notes will allow us to merge ink with our iPhones, it's possible some people will reacquire...

Sunday, September 22, 2013

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Discontinued

Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$25.40 from Strapya World »

On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, Strapya World suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine motor...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...