A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all over...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$59.99 from Amazon »

According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy truffled...

Saturday, April 26, 2014
$36.19 from Amazon »

This Otis tactical pouch reminds me of that classic TV trope. A teenage boy awkwardly heads to the front door to pick up a teenage girl for their first date, and when he walks in the house there sits her dad. Cleaning his guns. I wonder what kind of rods and brushes Pops is using. I wonder if, in addition to knowing he is intimidating all 6 carne asada tacos the kid ate for lunch out of acne-addled...

Friday, August 16, 2013
$4,497 from Iron Man Statue »

Outstanding. Not just that it's a life-size Mark 42 statue from Iron Man 3, but that whomever forged it deemed "life-size" to mean "Robert Downey Jr.-size", which is actually more like garden gnome-size. Good thing Iron Man...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
$950 from Jellio »

To quote Freddie Mercury, "Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?" Let's see...well, according to the $950 subtotal in my Jellio shopping cart, it is real life. Oh boy! Real life now has furniture that looks like ice cream...

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$21.79 from Firebox.com »

Dead or alive, you're coming with me. Robocop might drag you kicking and screaming out of bed in the morning like a big douchebag, but Robocup plays the good cop. He combats your fatigue and eases you into the harsh day ahead with a jolt of caffeine delivered straight from his cyborg brain. Robocup has 3 directives. 1) Serve the public hot beverages. 2) But not too hot. Protect the innocent tongues...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
$1,196 from UD Replicas »

From the brilliant mind of Lucius Fox and "the copycats" at UD Replicas comes this faithful rendition of the bat suit as worn by Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Painstaking work with the original screen suits has gone into capturing...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$500 from Black Badger »

Carbon fiber for your personal hygiene, carbon fiber for your personal safety, and carbon fiber for your personal style. Black Badger's Dark Matter rings are made of solid, F1-quality carbon fiber plate, with each piece hand-faceted...

Thursday, August 7, 2014
$149.99 from Amazon »

It's bladeless, it's oscillating, it's kinda cool-looking, but, no. It's not a Dyson. Then again, look at the Airso 10" table fan's price tag. Also not a Dyson....

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...

Wednesday, October 8, 2014
$29.19 - $39.95 from Amazon »

While candy can at times transcend the Forces of good and evil, as with the Yoda candy bowl holder, it's mostly all evil. That's why the majority of the Star Wars characters doling out Halloween treats are from the Dark Side....

Wednesday, September 10, 2014
$92.99 from Otakumode »

Normally my concern is making it through a bowl of ramen without dropping my phone into it. Slurp, slurp, swipe, slurp, slurp, swipe, slurp, slurp, PLOP! ... Sonofa soba noodle! However, if I were to own OtakuMode's ramen...

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$19.95 - $39.95 from MudJug »

I personally don't dip because I've always thought you have to be a baseball player or type of male who doesn't sob uncontrollably and beg for help from the Baby Jesus upon chewing anything that burns more than a stick of...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013
$99 from Tokyo Flash »

I know I've said this before, but my cache of interesting stories is running dry so here we go again: someone recently told me that schools no longer teach kids to read analog clocks because kids all have digital watches and...

Friday, May 17, 2013
$129.95 from SpyTec »

One thing I've always wanted to do while fending off UV rays is record myself fending off UV rays. Granted, this usually entails lying on my ass in the company of a sand-free beach mat, a 6-pack...fine, a case...of Bud Light...

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Monday, January 28, 2013
$10.99 from Spinning Hat »

An Exploration of Cap Zappa Onomatopoeia. Pop! Click. Whoosh! Clink! Ahhh. ...

Thursday, April 5, 2012
$14.99 from PocketShot »

Is that a shot of tequila in your pocket, or am I just happy to see you? Pocket Shots are flexible, stand-up pouches enshrining 50 ml servings of everyone's favorite 80-proof hard liquor varietals. Long flight? Long day at...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$1,750 from A+R Store »

Funny, the guy shown using the Smokestack outdoor fire pit is exactly the type of guy I'd imagine to be entirely incapable of using a Smokestack outdoor fire pit. Half-kneeling in a suit with a baby axe? I guess that means...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
$9.25 from Klecker Knives »

Klecker Knives gets the kids wielding folding lock-backs young. Their Trigger knife kit, edition glow-in-the dark, aspires to teach children ages 7 and up how to build their own pocket blade model. Now at first I wondered...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$109.23 from Amazon »

Following WWII, the US Army Aviation Branch sought to upgrade their soldiers' Aircrew Survival Egress Knives, or ASEKs. Required specs included: the ability to cut through both aircraft bodies and acrylic/glass windows; designs...

Thursday, June 26, 2014
$149.95 from DudeIWantThat.com »

iPhone droppage. Does it occur more often while trying to take a photo? When you're swept away by the beauty of the Trevi Fountain and butter finger the 5s leaning in to get closer? Or when you're swept away by the beauty...

Monday, April 8, 2013
$119 - $199.95 from Amazon »

Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable Umbrella...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$12 from SMBC »

My Darwin fish eats your Jesus fish damns the pot-smoking jam band Phish fish. Orrr...my TRUTH ichthys consumes your Darwin decal. Presumably with love. And with Star Trek and Cthulhu fish as spectators. The Flying Spaghetti...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here...

Friday, May 3, 2013
$49.95 from Amazon »

This Dragon doesn't breathe fire, it breathes air. But this air perpetuates fire, encouraging it to burn faster and stronger and continuously until its services are no longer needed, at which point water steps in to extinguish...

Monday, June 30, 2014

No need to knead, noodle lovers. Or mix, feed, or crank for that matter. Just pour water, flour, egg...and whatever other edible Eastern magic creates the kinky deliciousness that is ramen...into the Philips Noodle Maker and...

Monday, January 9, 2012
$16.95 from InstaMorph »

The next time you throw your hands to the sky and lament, "Argh! If only I had a doohickey with a flat lip on that end and a kind of hook-claw on the other that's small enough to fit in this slot here, and strong enough to...

Monday, January 27, 2014
$475 - $525 from Harley-Davidson »

Though it's not exactly riding weather in many parts of the US this winter, I'm guessing this Kane leather riding jacket from Harley-Davidson will still keep the men who wear it from freezing their asses off walking from the...

Sunday, March 24, 2013
$595 from Burglar Blaster »

Burglar Blaster, the DIY Home Security System, Scenario 1: It's late. You're in the living room watching your DVR of Michigan about to bone it in the tournament after two rounds of respectable action (sorry, Cornelius, but...

Friday, September 12, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

iLounge named G-Project's G-BOOM Bluetooth boombox “Speaker of the Year” in 2013, which I'm pretty sure is the audio equipment equivalent of Time giving Pope Francis Man of the Year. It's a pretty damn awesome and powerful...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$1.95 - $6.99 from Amazon »

Now drive slow, honey, it's not a race. Ha! Clearly that bit of motherly wisdom is a crock, as indicated by this vehicle manufacturer-issued decal right here on my side view mirror. It is a race, Mama. And all of those VW...

Monday, March 4, 2013
$4.99 from ThinkGeek »

The little bit of good news I have for you today is that we are only 16 days away from spring and 27 days away from Easter*, which means Peep eating season is upon us! Even better tidings for Minecraft die-hards: Marshmallow...

Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is a tough...

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Longboard Stroller: the future of kids and mobility. The Longboard Stroller: because every kid deserves to eat pavement at the hands of a parent who didn't see the raised edge in the sidewalk. The Longboard Stroller: Naw...

Thursday, September 4, 2014
$29.01 from Amazon »

Where is he? Where's Slimer? Cornelius, do you see him? ... What, he's on my, what? He's...awww, sick, dude. Note to all: getting slimed with ectoplasm secretions from the world's most gluttonous ghost is way worse than getting...

Friday, May 17, 2013
$8.80 from Amazon »

At Rutgers University in New Jersey they have these food trucks--the Grease Trucks--that have been around since way before food trucks became the hipster way of the world and particularly the Pacific Northwest and particularly...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014
$5.99 - $17.99 from Etsy »

To all the girls compiling notes on what kind of cookies to bake me for Valentine's Day, let me make this easy: iced sugar or gingerbread even though it's not Christmas anymore in the shape of one of the following Cookie Prints:...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Discontinued

Sometimes people do stupid shit, such as get extremely drunk and ornery on the 4th of July and refuse to respond to reason and jump off the deck of a Carver 54 motor yacht...twice...without taking their brand new iPhones out...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$923.71 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who still...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Part superhero transportation, part adult sized go kart, one thing is for sure, this is a suicide machine. But think what fun you'll have right up until the point of death! And then you can have all of your loved ones say...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
$99 from Amazon »

At first I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for Amazon to spend 42 seconds of its 60-second Fire TV video promo filming Gary Busey talking to his lamp, his pants, and his living room dinner bell, but in the end I had to concede...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

They say sitting is the new smoking. Matt Gereghty, for one, agrees. And when the occupational therapist and self-proclaimed ergonomics preacher created this Wall-Mounted Standing Desk he distinguished himself from most people...

Friday, January 11, 2013
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$264.95 from Amazon »

You and your Armies of the Confederacy aren't so scary at 1/6th your size, are you General? Whoa. What?! Did you just swing one lightsaber in each hand and a third in your left foot at me, Grievous? Crap. You have fully-articulated...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
Discontinued

Who goes anywhere without their phone? My guess is zero people. Who goes anywhere without a pocket knife, screwdriver, wrench, ruler, and bottle opener? My guess is a few more than zero people. Maybe even enough people to...

Monday, January 6, 2014
$224.99 from Amazon »

When the sun shines we make hay, and when the clouds roll in...and dump 18" of snow on the ground, rendering it nearly impossible to even open the front door to our houses...we make tornadoes. In our tornado machines. Dubbed...

Thursday, June 19, 2014
$84.31 - $130.92 from Amazon »

The PetSafe SmartDoor at least partially solves both the #1 problem with owning a dog, and the #1 problem with owning a dog door: having to take care of it; and home security. Available in 2 sizes, the dog door installs through...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
$10.99 from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in it...

Saturday, March 22, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Combat Daddy Equipment diaper bag: no Skoda Man Pram is complete without one. Combat Daddy Equipment's Model 1 carry-all for fathers who drew the short straw and have to take their kids to the park...or stay at home and...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
$39.97 from Amazon »

Vampire Professional Tools, first of Vampliers screw pliers and now of the Super Combo Scissors, should have hired the same person to name the latter who they did to coin the former. Or they should have hired me. I would have...

Thursday, July 5, 2012
$25 from Etsy »

These patriots heard the battle cry of Team America, and hollered back an even louder Fuck Yeah! From Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a Tron Light Cycle to Abe Lincoln wielding an M16 and giddy-upping on a grizzly bear to George...

Tuesday, August 6, 2013
By: OMsignal

Here's a neat product for people who like to nettle and bore friends and strangers to the edge of death with news of their ailments, injuries, stress levels, and overall health. You want to converse about your state of being?...

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$15.95 from Amazon »

It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a Handmaster, but I dig what this banded ball brand of Handmaster has to offer too. Strengthening both the gripping and the expanding muscles of the fingers and hand...

Monday, November 11, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Though there are many things I can do to prevent a hangover...yeah, Mama, not over-consuming alcohol is indeed one of them...I find drinking glass after glass of water, or eating Tums at 1-hour intervals, or restricting myself...

Monday, March 31, 2014
$75 from Amazon »

I can hardly stand the anticipation. Game of Thrones. Season 4. Less than a week away. I might pee my pants. Hey! Someone turn off that dragon sink faucet! It's not helping my continence! Hey, wait...a dragon sink faucet?...

Monday, April 7, 2014
$49.69 from Firebox.com »

I hate to throw out a perfectly good dead mouse. It just seems like an anti-climactic payoff for the money I spend on traps and cheese. I'm glad to hear the people of London agree. According to Firebox, mouse taxidermy is...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011
$149.99 from Demon Bells »

Just in case the implications of heaving a 72-pound concentrated mass of steel back and forth near your head doesn't scare you enough, DemonBells have added the creepy faces you see in your nightmares to the mix....

Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Discontinued

The more I think about the Triposo Travel Belt, a belt that connects to smartphones' Triposo navigation apps and vibrates on the left, right, front, or back of the body to indicate the direction the wearer is meant to go...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$99 from Siva Cycle »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts to...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
$29.95 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$12.35 from Calligraphuck »

Ah. It seems Mr. Garrison has forayed into the business of paper products. Merry Fucking Christmas. Come on, you know you want to sing along as you read it. Maybe tie a little Mr. Hat plush to the ribbon if you're one of the...

Sunday, August 25, 2013
$49.99 from NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

Sunday, May 18, 2014
$58.75 from Amazon »

One thing I do not particularly enjoy is sharing food. Tapas and family-style dining, blech. I want my own plates. Further, I want to clean them quickly and then leer at someone who's still got half of their dishes left until...

Sunday, June 8, 2014
$29.97 from Amazon »

Why cook up homemade biscuits & gravy in your underwear in the kitchen this weekend when you can use Coleman's Camp Oven to make them buck naked in the great outdoors? Set atop a 2- or 3-burner camping stove, the aluminized...

Monday, July 29, 2013
$13.93 - $29.99 from Amazon »

The Glo-toob is a banded top for ladies that burns swooning neon green, blue, red, white, or amber straight from their chesticular areas to your heart. Oh wait, no. Wrong glowing product that sounds like "boob". Correction:...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
$44.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the XiStera 8-in-1 iPhone Multitool for 35% off its retail price of $70. Just $44.99 from the Dude Exclusives online store for a limited time....

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$8.49 from Amazon »

On the one hand, it's almost time to decorate for Halloween, so a zombie lawn flamingo would be a very wise purchase. And on the other hand, it's always time to class up the front yard, so a zombie lawn flamingo would again...

Friday, September 16, 2011
$1,299 from Makerbot »

If you're not familiar with 3D printers yet, it's time to start familiarizing yourself. A 3D printer actually "prints" an object you design on your computer by laying down successive layers of material. This offers the possibility...