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Friday, March 30, 2012
The One-Person Bike Tent
$197.96 from Amazon »

Is it sun-blazin', mosquito-laden, river-floatin', mountain-bikin', pop-a-tent-in-the woods season yet? Segue from winter into the months of the year that don't make people want to jump off highway overpasses with the terrifically...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Trailer
By: Youtube

Abraham Lincoln's political career, the Civil War, slavery in The South--conspiracy theorists have been saying it for over a century, and now Seth Grahame-Smith's thinly-veiled novel, plus Tim Burton's twisted interpretive...

Thursday, October 06, 2011
Batman Party Invitations
$27.50 from Etsy »

Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy and stand up to little hands....

Saturday, January 12, 2013
NYC Subway Tights
$44 from Nylon Journal »

NYC Subway Map Tights address two male quandaries. 1) Being lost on the streets of New York and not wanting to ask for directions. 2) Coming up with something non-douchebaggy to say after getting caught staring at a smokin'...

Thursday, August 16, 2012
WWF Legends Minimalist Posters
Discontinued

The subject matter: 80s and 90s WWF legends. Wrestlers who earned their status through killer showmanship, illustrative identities, and annihilatory moves that, 20+ years later, make them recognizable by little more than their...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
Financial Padding Package Cushioning
$15 from The. »

All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may as well add a plaster cast of your middle finger to the shipment as well. Financial Padding is a cushy alternative to foam packing peanuts, and a clever way to blast the package's...

Monday, October 22, 2012
Rechargeable Heated Insoles
$129.97 - $174.99 from Amazon »

When I was a young lad, my parents bought battery-operated socks. For themselves, not for me. Sometimes, when forced to sit outside in frigid midwest winter wind chills for three hours' worth of my brother's junior football...

Saturday, February 04, 2012
French Maid Desktop PC Case

Ok, guys, here's your mannequin. Now all you need is a couple of brassieres and the skills imparted by Gary and Wyatt to send you from single and living alone to Konichiwa, mon amour. I am at your service. This French Maid...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Cartoon Bags

Nope, they're not drawings, they're not Photoshopped, and they don't exist only in the realms of Cool World and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Cartoon Bags, by JumpFromPaper's dynamically creative, Taipei-based designers Chay Su...

Saturday, September 17, 2011
The Mansion From Funny People
$75 million from Luxury Real Estate »

Maybe the most classically beautiful and inspired piece of real estate currently for sale in measurable spatial dimensions. An absolute knockout, and so innocent looking! Five shiny Sacajawea dollars say this PYT from Malibu...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Princess Leia Beanie
$30 from Etsy »

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and...

Thursday, February 07, 2013
Titanium Handcuff Ring
$495 from Boone Rings »

Like the Titanium Utility Ring, Bruce Boone's Titanium Handcuff Ring owns a slot in his Laser Cut Series of jewelry. The mini finger cuff precisely matches a full-size bad (or naughty) guy restraint, and even opens and closes...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
Grenade Coin Pouch
$8.99 from Amazon »

I knew with a little help from the Internet it wouldn't take long to find an answer to my question of what am I going to do with all of the grenades I stockpiled in anticipation of the end of the world that did not happen....

Saturday, June 02, 2012
Dope Swimsuit

I suppose the Dope Swimsuit describes how the women wearing it look and feel, as well as what the men who see these women act like they have been smoking. A jet black one-piece with "Dope" spelled in hip cursive just slightly...

Friday, July 22, 2011
Shelby Supercars Tuatara

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packing right here. I've got four-eleven positrack out back. Seven-fifty double pumper. Edelbrock intake, bored over thirty, eleven to one pop up pistons. Turbo jet, three ninety horse power....

Friday, April 20, 2012
Predator Mask
$920 from Etsy »

Though it may seem that this Predator Mask would be useful only as a Halloween costume, it in fact has a wealth of practical applications. Obviously it will give children, and probably dogs, horrific nightmares, and so serves...

Friday, March 23, 2012
Marshall Amp Refrigerator
$399.99 from Marshall Fridge »

The Marshall amp replica refrigerator, signed by Jim Marshall, emblazoned with authentic Marshall logos, and fitted with a real Marshall facing has a paradoxically acoustic effect: it makes your brews and carbonated shots...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Bone Pistols
$1,235 from TradeMe »

A set of dueling pistols created by Kiwi artist Bruce Mahalski is now up for auction with a starting bid of around $1,235 American dollars. They include spare bullets and come in a custom-altered case with blood-red inlay...

Sunday, September 04, 2011
Inkling - Sketch to Digital
$199 from Wacom »

Great tool for taking your mindless "on the telephone" doodles and converting them to digital masterpieces. Designed for rough concepting and creative brainstorming, Inkling is ideal for the front end of the creative process....

Sunday, January 15, 2012
LCD Panel Peephole
$88 from Amazon »

For hosts, no more contracting pink eye or ocular herpes from smooshing your cornea against the peephole. For guests, no more wondering how much worse your wide hips or severe jaw line look magnified and distorted on the other...

Friday, November 02, 2012
Whisky Advent Calendar
$241.12 from Master of Malt »

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome...

Sunday, August 26, 2012
Middle Finger Key

Nothing gives me more satisfaction than finding new and exciting ways of flipping people off. First, an umbrella, and now, a housekey. The Middle Finger key--or as vendor Goodworth & Co. calls it, the "Best Wishes" key--is...

Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Duckface Dog Muzzle
$23 from OPPO »

Oh man, I really hope dogs aren't smarter than we think they are. Does it get more humiliating than a Duckface Muzzle? Quack, an OPPO Japan bit of "You poor canine bastard" is a soft silicone dog muzzle available in yellow...

Thursday, May 17, 2012
Doctor Who TARDIS Necklace
$28 from Etsy »

Time Machine Jewelry interprets TARDIS approaching the Untempered Schism in this steampunk-esque pendant hanging from a 20" chain. Stare into the hypnotizing movement and gears of its vintage silver and gold pocket watches...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Manual of Things That Might Kill You
$16.14 from Amazon »

The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs livens up our inevitable march towards death. I love talking about my health almost as much as other people love hearing about...

Monday, April 23, 2012
F*ck the Rain Umbrella

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Tekno Black Light Bubbles
$6.95 from Amazon »

There is a detailed scientific explanation for why otherwise-translucent Tekno Bubbles glow majestic blues and golds under the phosphorescent umbrella of a black light, but we were so Svengalied by the pretty colors we forgot...

Friday, September 02, 2011
Handerpants
$9.75 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect them...

Monday, January 02, 2012
Ghetto Blaster With iPod / iPhone Dock
$154.95 from Amazon »

Take new school back to the old school with this ghetto blaster fit for an iPhone. This is a true MP3 Ghetto Blaster that uses removable solid-state data storage. So, all you have to do is slam a thumb drive or SD card in...

Thursday, June 21, 2012
USB Metal Business Cards

Here's another idea that could have been mine if I had better ideas: laser-engraved business cards with USB drives. For storing resumes and cover letters. Portfolios of design work, writing, and music. Company sales pitches...

Thursday, August 11, 2011
Gameboy iPhone Cover
$17.99 from Lootiful.com »

This is pretty badass and very well made. The iPWN! Case for iPhone 4 fits AT&T models perfectly and you'll surely be the only person you know that has one... unless you know a bunch of other geeks....

Wednesday, August 15, 2012
SpyHawk FPV Plane
$334.99 from SpyHawk »

Normally, I don't like the idea of a Big Brother entity invading citizens' privacy and monitoring their every move. But I can go for it on occasion. Like on the occasion that Big Brother is me. Like on the occasion that I...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Dine Ink Pen Cap Utensils
$8.50 from Amazon »

Too bad no one thought of this Dine Ink Pen Utensil Set 20 years ago when people still used pens to perform office tasks. Also too bad no one thought to name them Bite 'N' Write, which is far more memorable, clever, and likely...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Inner Message Ring
$169.99 from Infmetry »

It's the relationship and commitment hairshirt! Currently available in "Always" and "Marry me", Inner Message Rings are the perfect way to say, "If you really love me, you'll wear this ring that never stops gouging your flesh...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Cuelight

Described as an Interactive Pool Table System, this really has to be seen in action to be believed. Transform any pool table into a digitally-enhanced video experience. High-definition imagery responds in real-time to every...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
LIFX - Smartphone-Controlled Light Bulb
By: LIFX

LIFX (pronounced Life-ex) is an energy-efficient, multi-color LED bulb controlled by its user's smartphone. Though currently still in production, interested parties can sign up online for notification of the technology's availability...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Liquor Bottle Lock
$15.99 from GoKeyless »

All those times I bring a bottle of vodka to work for lunch and some d-bag from HR sneaks into the freezer and takes a few swigs like I'm not going to notice? Gone. And, at $15.99, the Liquor Lock is way cheaper than nailing...

Thursday, August 09, 2012
iPhone Micro Projector

The PRJ016 iPhone 4 Micro Projector is a revamped version of Sanwa's original smartphone sleeve, which magnifies handheld microcosmic visuals, and then blares them into macrocosm across walls or white screens for large format...