A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, February 10, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose the beanie...

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Obviously I like this chess set because most of its pieces appear to have leapt right out of my VHS cassette of Beetlejuice, one of the best 80s movies ever, as evidenced by the fact that I am saying so right now. I sure hope...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$15.86 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase that must have made the book because...uh...author Alexis Munier likes chips? Me too, Alexis, especially Tostitos Hint of Lime tortilla chips, but I thought we were talking...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
$30.95 from Amazon »

Will you name the fire breather coiled around your ear Viserion, Rhaegal, or Drogon? Add a little Daenerys Targaryen to your wardrobe with a menacing, yet somehow cuddly-loooking Dragon Wrap Earring. Its tail extends through...

Friday, November 2, 2012
$24.32 from Amazon »

Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$5.47 from Amazon »

Oompa Loompas don't need brooms, they use Illoom Balloons to zoom o'er the moon....

Tuesday, March 26, 2013
$20 from Etsy »

Looks like we're gonna have a grotesque perversion of the fuzzy, frolicky, happy animals emblematic of every major holiday now. First Phillip Blackman took on Valentine's Day with his Undead Teds, and here Undead Ed tackles...

Monday, May 21, 2012
$24.95 from No Starch Press »

LEGO Heavy Weapons, a guide to transforming the iconic building blocks into equally iconic firearms, is author Jack Streat's debut book. Just prior to its publication, he worked full-time at Algebra 2, driver's ed, and asking...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Giveaway: HooToo TripMate Wireless Travel Router 55
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
$49.99 from Amazon »

Enter to win a HooToo Tripmate and turn your wired network wireless on the go for Internet access by multiple devices, file sharing, and, when batteries get low, a backup power bank. Read on to learn more about the portable...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$179.99 from Amazon »

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble. That's from Shakespeare, I think. Or it might be from the smash hit feature film Practical Magic, starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as respectively responsible/prudish and carefree/bad...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, April 20, 2012
Discontinued

Though it may seem that this Predator Mask would be useful only as a Halloween costume, it in fact has a wealth of practical applications. Obviously it will give children, and probably dogs, horrific nightmares, and so serves...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$13.12 - $29.95 from Amazon »

Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that guards...

Friday, February 10, 2012
$3,499 from LifeGem »

From ashes to ashes...to bedazzled ashes. Gone are the days of keeping the deceased in our hearts. In their place? Keeping the deceased around our fingers, atop our wrists, or dangling from our necks. LifeGem diamonds are...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

I like designating what's mine and what's yours, particularly when what's mine is bigger/better/faster/closer to the front/equipped with a hot tub. Eugenie2's pillowcases are a terrific example of and flawless conformance...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for the...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$399 - $999 from Amazon »

This visual sales pitch for the Chilipad, a mattress cover that can cool or heat his and her respective halves of the bed, might be my favorite photo I've seen all summer, and no one is even naked or wielding a sword or dressed...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$16.50 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$9.47 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

The only thing that could improve the experience of sinking my ass into a couch would be being able to set my sodie and plate of waffle fries down right next to me. Like, immediately adjacent to my sunken ass. This would eliminate...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$63.14 - $70.73 from Amazon »

When you're rollin' (rollin'), rollin' (rollin'), rollin' on the river for enough days you figure out that if you fell in the following would occur:...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
$42 - $49 from Amazon »

I see how the ease of just tossing a blaring alarm clock on its head to turn it off could be very dangerous for some people. If you don't have to work for the deactivation--dig for a minuscule button, chase a rolling or flying...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The complete evolutionary tree of the video game controller, tracking 82 species and 9 genera over four decades. Printed in rich indigo ink. My favorite is still the Intellivision controller which was basically a phone dialpad...

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Thursday, November 7, 2013
$221.76 from Amazon »

I used to be secretly jealous of those incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Jagermeister. Then they all got replaced by incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Fireball. So now I'm jealous of Fireball chillers. At least...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

I wonder if they ship it packed in porcelain. Though an official nod to Dude, Where's My Car? UFO cultists and their leader, Zoltan, the Bubble Wrap Suit really transcends circa 2000 stoner flick pigeon holes in its practicality...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$12 - $39 from CRL Products »

Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types: Aluminum;...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought...

Sunday, January 6, 2013
$4.95 from Trongs »

Obviously I like eating with my hands. It goes with the territory of being a man. Buuut...I really hate when BBQ and Buffalo wing sauce get under my fingernails and into the cuts I have from doing manly things with my hands...

Saturday, September 14, 2013
$7.95 from I Love Handles »

Although I recently made the astute observation that no one uses pens to write things down anymore, now that these Paperback sticky notes will allow us to merge ink with our iPhones, it's possible some people will reacquire...

Friday, November 15, 2013
$37.90 from Etsy »

Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we...

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$2,500 from WaveJet »

"Aquamotive Technology" and "Personal Water Propulsion" devices are what WaveJet water pods term themselves. I think that's a fancy way to say "Go-Go-Gadget surfboard". Rechargeable and controlled wirelessly with a wristband...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$29 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you for your...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$6.99 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled by the MY3D Viewer's cheap plastic look and the implications of Amazon's selling it for 73% off at printing. This purveyor of 3D and 360-degree iPhone and iPod touch entertainment has largely favorable buyer...

Sunday, September 22, 2013

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies...

Monday, July 9, 2012
$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch or nip...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
$35 from HALO »

That bunny rabbit in the red HALO pet collar might be the cutest non-human woman I have ever seen. Even cuter than that Pomeranian with its own product line that disgruntles me by way of melting my heart every time I see it....

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$1,799 - $3,499 from Elliptigo »

If you thought the future was incubating in the frames of Google Glass and laces of Marty McFly Nikes, then behold the offspring of the gym's dorkiest piece of cardio equipment and urbanity's most aggressive sharer of the...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Friday, February 8, 2013

And I don't mean the kind of airplane trunk Auntie Heloise carries when she travels. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk, an all-inclusive, roller work station, is quilted in polished aluminum panels held together with exposed steel...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$69 from Amazon »

The Dump & Punch. That's a better name than Blend and Cook for Cuisinart's soup-making blender. Because if their literature is to be trusted, all I'd need do to enjoy a vat of steaming cream of tomato is dump in some cream...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$199 - $776 from Canary »

Sandy D. Dude Product Tipped us off to the Canary user-controlled smart home security device with the pitch that it "will phone you if it notices unusual activity in your home," and, if that's not enough of a draw, you can...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Here's a practical, $50,000 solution to the conundrum of...ummm...BBQing on float trips without leaving the water? Executing the 1-2 punch of catching and cooking fish to order? Romantic roundtable dining cruises with expertly...

Friday, December 7, 2012
$14 from Amazon »

Girls next door, meet your neighbor Totoro. And wear him as a cloak. How cute and fuzzy and irresistible you will be together. Skipping down the street. Cuddling in front of the TV. Making me drool at Comic-Con. Totoro is...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Everything tastes better when ingested directly from a mason jar. Fruit preserves. Pickled green beans. Molten chocolate cakes. Ole Smoky Moonshine. Apparently even music--ingestible aurally rather than orally--is a prime...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

They call the leggings First Contact Sucks because some are of the opinion that Meeting other intelligent life forms for the first time could probably have gone a little better. What, better than KRA-KOOOOM!? But I love KRA-KOOOOM!...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of craft...

Sunday, May 13, 2012
$24 from Games World »

Neon and mesh clothing are back in style, why not the Game Boy wrist watch? Though while Forever 21 has an entire 787 hangar full of hot pink, highlighter yellow, and retina-blasting green fishnets and half shirts, this little...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$149.99 from Podium Cycling »

When I first heard about the Pee-wee Herman cycling suit I thought I had been proven wrong in my contention that nothing on earth could make cyclists look any more ridiculous than they already do. Seriously, does any sport...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$7.16 from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...

Friday, August 9, 2013
$249.99 from Amazon »

Having not tried one myself, so far my favorite attribute of Nick Scroggs and Fred Bane's hammock-backpack combo, the HackedPack, is that if you go to the naptime buddy's Facebook page, you'll see that Linda Scroggs, who I...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$124.99 from Jacob Bromwell »

Jacob Bromwell's set of Old West shot glasses are pure copper, handmade by up to 5 American workers, and in very limited supply. So get 'em while they're smokin' hot, and you just might have the perfect beginnings for staying...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$2,060 from Singulier »

Backpacking season is drawing to a close, but here's a ray of sunshine to keep you fueled through the harsh winter: Eastpak's Backpack Sofa, a rigid polyurethane foam and cordura concoction that promises to replicate the discomforts...

Thursday, December 15, 2011
$24.87 from Amazon »

Holy shit, I'm feeling epically perplexused just looking at this gnarled sphere of chaos. And that's not even the interactive fun part. Inside the visual affront is a little steel ball, which must be wound around the structure's...

Friday, July 19, 2013
$34.99 from LEGO CUUSOO »

When you get turned into a LEGO Minifigure, you've pretty much reached legendary status in my opinion. So congratulations, Michael J Fox. You badass. And, in adjectival form, check out the badass reason Marty McFly gets to...

Monday, February 10, 2014
$49.95 - $79.99 from Amazon »

Wear this Star Trek-inspired jersey while cycling and you'll be tele-biking to work to save gas instead of actual biking to work and possibly getting taken out by a car to save gas. Just kidding....

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$24 from Wine Folly »

Wine Folly has released this quasi-satirical, though largely legit and helpful, infographic to assist self-conscious or indecisive wine buyers in the selection of the perfect bottle to bring, serve, or guzzle down solo while...

Saturday, November 9, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Could the people at Pizzacraft please define their use of the term "pronto" for me? Before I buy this outdoor pizza oven, whose photos suggest its cheesy, saucy, doughy output could rival that of the best pizza on earth, aka...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$269 from Amazon »

Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*....

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$6.37 from Amazon »

Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$35.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
$64.99 from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Discontinued

Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Chest bumps, head butts, and sharp kicks to the shins unite! The Human Slingshot is here to bring new meaning to the lead-in, "Guess who I ran into the other day?" The human-sized stretchable band, 4 close friends (or mortal...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$7.48 from Amazon »

I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled...