A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Saturday, December 15, 2012
$179.99 from Amazon »

After that Outkast song came out about shaking it like a Polaroid picture, Polaroid had to issue an official press release advising its customers not to shake the photos at the risk of compromising their quality. Fun story...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$12.15 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$7.68 from Amazon »

I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled cheese sandwiches is he puts two pieces of Wonder Bread in the toaster, then right when they pop up, he grabs them and smashes a slice of American in the middle, hoping the...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Chest bumps, head butts, and sharp kicks to the shins unite! The Human Slingshot is here to bring new meaning to the lead-in, "Guess who I ran into the other day?" The human-sized stretchable band, 4 close friends (or mortal...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$23.17 from Amazon »

The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$25.40 from Strapya World »

On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, Strapya World suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine motor skills! grab your bazookas! Let's get this sushi revolution going!...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
$69.95 from Amazon »

It was a tough call which of the Perfect 10 happy families splashing around in the Intex Easy Set Pool to pick as the product's featured photo, but I ultimately decided the blonde MILF in the winning shot was a better representative...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Isn't everything that isn't a Kardashian bank account or body part supposed to be getting smaller? Especially image-capturing devices. But this throwable ball camera is uncomfortably large. It appears to have the same circumference...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A few years ago, Portuguese carpenter Carlos Alberto became the Best Dad in the World--not just an imposter Best Dad in the World who wears the T-shirt and flashes the mug--when he carved his daughter Daniela a Vespa-styled...

Wednesday, May 1, 2013
$39.99 from Mommysentials »

The Baby Hanger. A design so utilitarian, yet so uproariously hilarious, that I almost want to acquire an infant just so that I can hook it on a bathroom stall. Check out the gaping mouth and dangling legs on that kid. He...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$439.13 from Amazon »

At this point we all know that if I have the opportunity to circumvent or finagle my way out of manual labor, everyone better settle in for a sweeping display of circumventing and finagling. So the news that setup of Kelty's...

Saturday, November 2, 2013
$26.99 from ThinkGeek »

Shake it, shake it. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Guess what! The next time you have to do that because you get a pesky dingle berry whilst sitting on the toilet, the Polaroll toilet paper holder will be there to provide...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$127.49 from Firebox.com »

I see your face on a wedding cake topper, and raise you your face on a Joker action figure. Have people always complimented your Batman-esque jawline? Admired your Superman benevolence? Bowed to your biting Joker wit? Had...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$329.99 - $349.99 from Amazon »

Haha, that dude in the bunk bed looks like the creepy 50-year-old who goes back to college during his mid-life crisis and tries to re-enact his glory days by moving into the dorms and chasing around co-eds his daughter's age...

Bar
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$2,499.99 - $3,699.99 from Party Robotics »

Robots do it better. The "it" this time: cocktails. Bartendro, a modular, open-source cocktail dispensing robot, makes a bevy of mixed drinks reliably and consistently in about 10 seconds a pop. Setups come with either 3...

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$19.95 from Replay Games »

An unmistakable flamingo pink box harboring the promise of virtual teenage sex pulsated amidst the circa-1987 Target shelves overrun with copies of Oregon Trail and Think Quick. Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge...

Monday, April 9, 2012

Taking a page from Apple's business model, the world of rhinoplasty has apparently determined that exorbitantly expensive nose jobs have been widely available for enough years now that it's time to do some price slashing....

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$121.41 from Amazon »

Happy New Year! Here's something to make you feel fat, ugly, and depressed motivate and inspire you to reach your 2014 fitness goals! The Fitbit Aria Wi-Fi Smart Scale measures weight, body fat percentage, and body mass index...

Monday, September 9, 2013
$99 - $199 from Kapture »

Kapture could easily both save and ruin my life. Because the snazzy wristband doesn't just record voices and conversations, it records them all the time. It runs continuously, collecting audio in 60-second buffered loops...

Thursday, December 29, 2011
$71.79 from Amazon »

Time to go through your closet and dig out all of those classic super nintendo games. You knew there was a reason not to give those to charity. Told you mom! The Supaboy Pocket SNES is essentially a gameboy for your old super...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
$99.95 from Montie Gear »

We're filing the Y-Fork Slingshot under the "Weapons" category because it is built to launch ammo up to a 1/2" ball bearing or .44 caliber lead ball. Both of which could take out a fat rabbit. Mmmm, Hasenpfeffer for Easter...

Bar
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$90.61 - $98.88 from Amazon »

When the tops come off, the fun begins! That's what they say about these bottle cap bar stools, but I don't see much about the statement that has anything to do with bottle cap bar stools. Obviously I like it as it relates...

Monday, August 12, 2013
$55 from Etsy »

3D printed, covering an iPhone, and in the shape of a skull may be the only way in which it is acceptable for a male to wear patterns of lace. Joshua Harker's 3D printed lacy-looking skull iPhone cases spiff up Steve Jobs'...

Monday, July 29, 2013
$296.97 from Amazon »

I don't usually swing, but when I do, I swing in a Vivere Dream Chair. Partly because it rocks my soul to a state of unwavering peace, and partly because whenever I try to get into one of those adulterous little circles, they...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Although I always say that one of my favorite things to do is sit on my ass, photographic evidence here suggests that Nina Havermans' SHAY work-out stool is going to necessitate my refinement and qualification of that statement....

Saturday, January 26, 2013
$19.75 - $23.75 from Technology Will Save Us »

How curious it is that some people like to spend hours doing themselves what I could accomplish in a 20-minute, $20 trip to Target. DIY speakers? A DIY synth? No, no, here's the best: DIY LED greeting cards. You know, the...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$48.95 from Etsy »

Well I know which of Geekify's Game of Thrones eReader cases I wouldn't want: House Stark. Jon Snow may be the only literal illegitimate child of the Winterfell clan, but I feel like that whole family is some poooooor bastards....

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$279 from GNR 8 »

The Mirror 180's joined splices allow it to tilt and reposition such that it reflects many a splendid thing. Namely, a more comprehensive view of me. One half of the mirror angles into 3 different positions, suiting a bevy...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$16 from Firebox.com »

What is, a man who ate his daughter's 1st birthday cake without a fork, Alex? No? What is...a makeshift Fraggle mask? No? OK, then how about you just tell me why this man has neon pink goo smeared on his face, Mr. Trebek?...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$2,985 from Refined Hardware »

Do you know what a tourbillon is? Besides Refined Hardware's ploy to get me to pay nearly $3,000 for their latest edition of watches? By definition a tourbillon is "a frame for the escapement of a timepiece, especially a watch...

Tuesday, August 6, 2013
$49.99 - $59.99 from Amazon »

Sharing in the 21st century pretty much means giving something to someone else without relinquishing it or making any sort of sacrifice yourself. I love the 21st century. And, by proxy, this poster child of the 21st century:...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$34 from Epic »

I know what you're thinking: that is a slab of jerky with the inexplicable addition of dried fruit and a fancy wrapper. And I say, yeah, OK. That's one way to look at Epic grass-fed meat bars. But having tried the Bison Bacon...

Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Like Lolo Jones and Hope Solo, the Steampunk Combat Tesla Armor's specs and stats are almost as impressive as its cut curves and transfixing beauty. Designer Jordan Edmondson hand-manipulated copper, leather, and brass into...

Saturday, October 5, 2013
$40 from Haptic Lab »

Hey you guuuuuyyyysss! It's like a pirate ship that sails through the sea above. All I need now is an eye patch, a sloth mask, pinchers of peril, and an inhaler and I could be some sort of deconstructed Goonie for Halloween....

Monday, August 27, 2012
$7.96 from Amazon »

Well I for one would much rather open up a sardine can to find a Zombie Apocalypse survival kit containing 25 items for use in fending solo in the face of the end of days than a malodorous row of actual sardines. This sardine...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
$36.63 from Amazon »

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and people who live in marble towers should watch out because...bombs away! MindWare's Q-Ba-Maze 2.0 is an interlocking system of brightly-hued cubes that tinkerers small...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Discontinued

Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$53 from Burger »

Color-in Wallpaper is kind of like I See You Wallpaper, but without the watchful eyes looming over your every move, passing judgment as you eat Hungry Man Dinners, and rolling into the backs of the heads you drew for them...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The LEGO Swiss Army Knife! It's not for sale yet, but if you like it, vote the Technic-Bionicle creation into official company review over at LEGO CUUSOO (the strangest and most cumbersome name for a Website I think I've ever...

Monday, September 30, 2013
$4,150 from Bruce Mahalski »

Ladies, who wants to bone a guitar god? Come on now, don't start a stampede. There are plenty of sheep femurs and possum skulls to go around, and room enough on my acoustic slim body for at least a couple hundred of you to...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on the creation...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

You know the opening scene in Spaceballs when they pan along that massive ship and you kind of start to wonder when a bomb or Jaws is gonna hit, but then the camera jumps to Rick Moranis in an oversized Darth Vader costume...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packing right here. I've got four-eleven positrack out back. Seven-fifty double pumper. Edelbrock intake, bored over thirty, eleven to one pop up pistons. Turbo jet, three ninety horse power....

Friday, April 19, 2013
$48 from Amazon »

Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the month...

Saturday, May 12, 2012
$495 from Armstreet »

When I meet a lady, the first thing I ask myself is, "Could this lady best me in a feat of strength? Or, if she's really special, "Could this lady jump me in a dark alley and kick my ass to next Tuesday?" And when I meet a...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not yet...

Sunday, September 11, 2011
$23.95 from Amazon »

You gotta cut up those old credit cards anyway right? Or what? Your identity will surely be stolen and you'll lose your girlfriend and probably be shunned. Instead, make cool guitar picks and avoid shunning with this genius...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$38 - $44 from Amazon »

Here are some giant squishy beasts--Squishables, officially--fashioned after the likes of the Narwhal, T-Rex, Yeti, Cthulhu, Polar Bear, and Android mascot. I know you don't want one. But look: they appear to make ladies happy....

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$96.10 from Amazon »

Some people believe that a blaring alarm shattering the silence of our slumber and tearing our eyes open in the still-blackness of a winter morning isn't so good for the body. Philips, makers of the Wake-Up Light and alarm...

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$60 - $70 from Dropcatch »

The DropCatch magnetic bottle opener pretty much looks like an entire summer's worth of entertainment to me. I might just buy a bunch of shit beer from Oregon that I'd never consider drinking and employ the mounted walnut...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
$69 from Wisteria »

Your kids haven't quite turned out how you expected to be. With aspirations of raising NFL quarterbacks and Rhodes Scholars quickly fading, you'd just like to avoid having a felon living underneath your roof. And while you...

Monday, November 11, 2013
$31.99 from Amazon »

This Password Vault seems like a decent gift for people who, like me, follow the universal password rules of choosing a different protective code of at least 8 characters, half of which are symbols or caps, for every one of...

Thursday, January 24, 2013
$8 from Ruffbowl »

Before delving into RuffBowl specifics, I will share some fun facts about the French. Parisians love their dogs. The ratio of dogs to people in that city is 1:7. But they don't love cleaning up after their dogs. In fact, the...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$59 from Nap Anywhere »

Oh boy, and I think the NapAnywhere pillow looks just enough like a neck brace that I can convince suspicious parties I need it for medical reasons. Let me tell you some things I do not enjoy that will maybe become bearable...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$48 from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Discontinued

If you have $75 and the desire to slice 10" of carbon fiber through the air, Tyler Seamons has an official flying saucer of summertime for you. Pending successful project funding on Kickstarter, his frisbee and golf-style...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wedding cakes have been topped with zombies. Video game junkies. Your own face. But have you ever seen one topped with an infinite web of sugar spun in 3 out of 3 dimensions? The Sugar Lab will custom make 3D printed sugar...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Master of the Grill, do you have what it takes to be Master of the Grill, Griddle, Deep Fryer and Warming Plate? The Blacktop 360-Degree Party Grill combines all four methods of heat conduction into one massive, all-inclusive...

Saturday, August 3, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I'd imagine a concern for all parents, but particularly male parents, is having a baby and then accidentally dropping it. Or tucking it snoozing in its carrier under the table at the bar so it will be out of the way, and then...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$912 from The Macallan »

Nothing warms my heart more than the marriage of two renowned brands well out of my price range. Here, The Macallan Scotch and rugged apparel and accessories magnate Oakley have collaborated on a tactical, indestructible way...

Monday, June 3, 2013
$4.99 - $10.50 from Amazon »

The Amazon reviews of Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay--nearly 800 of them!--are so overwhelmingly positive it makes me wonder how I've never before heard of these miraculous bentonite particulates of the earth. Maybe I was...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.73 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Sunday, November 4, 2012
$32.49 - $149.99 from Amazon »

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor....

Sunday, June 30, 2013
$59.95 from myType »

I'll tell you one thing I like is buttons. This touch screen crapola, even when it's all cool and laser virtual keyboard-y and keychain-sized, is unacceptable to my manly and powerful hands. They just do not like typing on...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$27.28 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Monday, June 10, 2013
$79.95 from WickedLasers.com »

For the times you'd rather use the World's Most Powerful Laser to shed light on a situation instead of to incinerate its components, Wicked Lasers' Phosforce flashlight adapter for their Arctic 1W handheld laser pointer will...