A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, January 17, 2012
$3.99 from 55 Hi's »

Ladies, the answer to your age-old question, "What are you thinking about?" has materialized in greeting card format. 78% of the time you query your man about his internal musings, this is the perpetual, 14-word loop running...

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The PRJ016 iPhone 4 Micro Projector is a revamped version of Sanwa's original smartphone sleeve, which magnifies handheld microcosmic visuals, and then blares them into macrocosm across walls or white screens for large format...

Sunday, April 29, 2012
By: Behance

Papilla is a USB (and battery) powered lunch box that will reheat its contents. Turkish industrial designer Burcin Ceren Olcum created it so that busy professionals and people on the go have an option to enjoy healthy, homemade food quickly, and from anywhere. The lunchbox's cord can plug into a computer's USB port for easy rat race reheating, or tap into its rechargeable batteries to elevate leftover...

Friday, August 23, 2013
$15 from indiegogo »

You know how some people pour vodka in their eye or, like, soak a tampon in it and then stick it up their butt to get drunk quick and calorie-free? Well now there's a similar--albeit safer and way less disgusting--way to introduce...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
$122.95 from Amazon »

Do you believe in the power of the human mind? If you said yes, and you are not a Buddhist monk, yogi master, hypnotist, or cult leader, you probably also believe in The Force. But while belief in The Force is one thing, mastery...

Monday, May 28, 2012
$11.70 from Amazon »

After all the recent hype over breastfeeding, I think it's about time we returned to a matter of real public interest: poo. Specifically, dropping a deuce at the office. How to Poo at Work is the #1 guide for handling the onslaught of a #2 in the presence of co-workers, bosses, and the plumber who's in the bathroom all day today fixing the leak in the bathroom ceiling....

Thursday, November 14, 2013
$129 from CB2 »

I'll be gnome for Christmas. You can count on me. Please have snow and di-i-sco, and heavy techno beats. Ahh, even better than a zombie or Scarface gnome to station in my garden is a mirror ball gnome to hang from my ceiling....

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$39.99 - $99.99 from Amazon »

The beauty of Limeade Blast stems from the suckage of smartphones and tablets. Both that they suck up battery power like a 12-pound newborn on a teat, and that this inadequacy of smartphone and tablet batteries really sucks....

Monday, May 7, 2012
$7.20 from Amazon »

Mmm, from dead fetus to sharp shooter. I'm going to take a shot at loading the Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold into the Rule of Thirds, as described by my 9th grade English teacher. He said that a third of the people we meet throughout...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$1,235 from TradeMe »

A set of dueling pistols created by Kiwi artist Bruce Mahalski is now up for auction with a starting bid of around $1,235 American dollars. They include spare bullets and come in a custom-altered case with blood-red inlay...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Discontinued

Sometimes in the great out of doors you get gunk or crud or straight up shit on your hands and would like to clean it off without dumping out half of your water supply in the process. Sometimes it is approximately 172 degrees...

Tuesday, March 6, 2012
$149 from Custom Made »

Your face on the wedding cake topper? Hell yeah! This is, after all your mother f'in' day, and for once, just once, everything damn well should be all about you! Oh, and whomever that person standing next to you in front of...

Saturday, February 18, 2012
$9,650 - $10,795 from InboxFitness »

Monowheels, or monocycles--huge, single-track circus contraptions riders sit inside instead of on top of--have been around since the late 19th century, and were at one point proposed for use as a serious mode of transportation....

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

I bet you didn't know Eva Unit 01 was also highly adept at manipulating the three states of matter. Well, two of the three anyway. Here to keep your home or office moist and safe from itchy skin and dry eyeballs is the Neon...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012
$13.50 from Etsy »

Balrogs and horndogs beware! These gold-emblazoned ladies' hot shorts guard the Secret Fire and they will not avail your advances! Undies are American Apparel brand, and come in S, M & L. Check out the size guide photo prior...

Friday, October 26, 2012
$27.99 from Amazon »

If we can teach rats to run mazes and cows to jump over moons, why not teach fish to kick a soccer ball or swim through hoops? The R2 Fish School Fish Training Kit, developed by master trainer of the gilled ones Dr. Dean Pomerleau...

Saturday, July 20, 2013
$19.99 from Amazon »

We as humans have such cold-blooded and violent feelings towards insects as a species. We could sympathetically and euphemistically "eliminate" and "dispose of" them, but instead we swat, squash, zap, smash, exterminate, and...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$23 from OPPO »

Oh man, I really hope dogs aren't smarter than we think they are. Does it get more humiliating than a Duckface Muzzle? Quack, an OPPO Japan bit of "You poor canine bastard" is a soft silicone dog muzzle available in yellow...

Friday, November 23, 2012
$9.65 from Amazon »

Now that we've got Thanksgiving out of the way, it's time to deck the halls, fire up the "Jingle Bells" sing-a-longs, celebrate Jesus, and eat cheese. Cheesus Christ, a cheese grater that--like many folks' Sunday rituals and...

Friday, March 30, 2012
$229.95 from Amazon »

Is it sun-blazin', mosquito-laden, river-floatin', mountain-bikin', pop-a-tent-in-the woods season yet? Segue from winter into the months of the year that don't make people want to jump off highway overpasses with the terrifically...

Saturday, November 23, 2013
$31.89 - $89.95 from Amazon »

When you're finished Monopoly-izing zombies in the Walking Dead version, I triple dog dare you to get into the holiday spirit with A Christmas Story's take on the beloved board game. Who wants to have a BB gun-off for the...

Saturday, March 10, 2012
$224.73 from Amazon »

The KettlePizza insert takes homely, mediocre 22.5" kettle grills, such as Webers and Stoks, and magically transforms them into flashy, gourmet, pseudo-woodfired pizza ovens capable of putting New York slices, Chicago deep...

Sunday, November 4, 2012
$8.99 from Amazon »

Ice straws are what I will give children to drink hot chocolate with so I don't have to hear them whine and cry about how it's too hot and they burnt their tongue and waaa, waaa, waaa, I want a hug. I often want a hug too...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$299.99 from Amazon »

I don't know how practical zooming through the terminal atop my scooter-fitted carry-on would be in LAX or ATL, but the next time I get delayed by a snowstorm in Des Moines, drag racing with the courtesy transporters is on....

Friday, February 3, 2012
$7.87 from Amazon »

Red Solo cup, I fill you up. And am way less likely to drop you in someone's lap now that you are made of foam instead of cheap plastic that accrues grip-compromising condensation like Lindsay Lohan accrues pardons for criminal...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
$29.95 from Amazon »

Companion Cubes. Companion Ice Cubes. A Captain Obvious merchandising exploit that kind of manages not to sacrifice coolness in spite of it. Even those unfamiliar with the Portal universe might gravitate towards this silicone...

Friday, August 23, 2013
$15.66 from Amazon »

I'm not sure whose poor planning skills decided The Snacking Dead: A Parody in a Cookbook should be released after the October 13th Season 4 opener of The Walking Dead, thus eliminating all of its potential profits from themed...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$45 from Etsy »

From chemistry class I remember something about diatomic elements and noble gases, but mostly I remember that my teacher wore a tie-dyed lab coat and I could always see this one girl's lacy bras when she would bend over the...

Friday, January 10, 2014
$16.94 from Amazon »

Brandon Stanton started his blog Humans of New York in the summer of 2010 in an effort to capture a "photographic census of New York City." The strange, the beautiful, the inspiring, the struggling. The people who say, "A...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Wagons, the color blue, toys loud enough to get me grounded, stereos gangsta enough to make me feel like I was a part of the rap community, all of the things I loved as a young boy come rushing back in a singular, superb composition:...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$16.99 - $24.99 from Bubi Bottle »

Innumerable points to the Bubi collapsible bottle for calling itself a Bubi and including the option of affixing nipples to its top. Obviously. But in addition to these superficial treats, the Bubi bottle also boasts some...

Thursday, November 29, 2012
$152 from PrezzyBox »

At first I thought this was an actual washing machine/suitcase combo. Like for moms to tote around and use to instantly remove the spit-up and dirt and, in my case, Bloody Marys, from their kids' perpetually soiled clothes....

Friday, October 26, 2012

Nothing like a little colorful latex with cockamamie explanations of what you did to require bandage coverage to make paper cuts, minor dicing mishaps, and drunken tumbles look a little more admirable. Each box of What Happened?...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011
$33 from Jet Pens »

There is nothing better than knowing you're writing down your daily to do list (probably the same damn stuff you wrote down the day before, and before that) with a superior writing instrument. And that's exactly what this...

Sunday, August 19, 2012
$9.40 from Amazon »

Swearing in another language. It's the only thing we really cared to learn during the mandatory years of high school French. Actually, my earliest memories of foreign curse words came much earlier, in 2nd grade, when the term...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$69.99 from Amazon »

For hosts, no more contracting pink eye or ocular herpes from smooshing your cornea against the peephole. For guests, no more wondering how much worse your wide hips or severe jaw line look magnified and distorted on the other...

Monday, July 1, 2013
$200 from LotusGrill »

The LotusGrill, a compact, smokeless charcoal BBQ, is a perfect example of the type of gadget that makes me go, "How'd they do that?!" but really I'm not interested in an explanation if it requires more than 20 seconds of...

Sunday, April 7, 2013
$399.95 from Amazon »

I recently got an email from a fan that said, "I hate to be HOT." Hahahaha, get it? A fan that hates to be hot. Actually, I just noticed that hilarious pun after I wrote it. I really did get an email from someone telling me...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$32.20 from Amazon »

You already stand at the kitchen counter eating spoonfuls of peanut butter straight out of the jar anyway, so why not make the guilty pleasure even more enjoyable with PB Crave's addition of the ingredients you might pile...

Friday, August 12, 2011
$28.22 from Amazon »

This is a big ass shark that gets filled with helium so you can control who you'd like to kill with it. Check out the video after the jump for a better visualization of what I'm saying here. This thing looks pretty awesome...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$199.99 from SamTimer »

Although most of my anecdotes and personal claims to greatness are complete BS, I swear, what follows is a true story. Two true stories, actually. First, I am a formidable Scrabble player. Second, one time I dated a girl who...

Thursday, June 27, 2013
$24.90 - $159.90 from Awesome Maps »

Although all maps technically contain the places you want to see before you die, Awesome Maps' Bucketlistmap provides the added service of specifics--the phenomena, landmarks, and activities within each country or region that...

Friday, April 12, 2013
$32.69 from Amazon »

Domo started out as a Japanese television network mascot. Then he began starring in skits during station breaks. Then he got made into an English-language manga series for the US and Canada, and then he got made into a toaster....

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$25.99 from Amazon »

Do you think XAPPR is pronounced "Zapper" as in "Xylophone," and as in "Shoot 'em up with your smartphone," or "Ex-app-ear" as in "X-ray," and as in "Push the button and your ex will magically materialize before you, naked...

Friday, June 22, 2012
$64.95 from Etsy »

Holy crap, can you imagine how many cookies the Cookie Monster would eat if he were high? Possibly all the cookies in the world. Which in a way would be interesting to witness, but in a bigger way very sad, because then I...

Monday, July 22, 2013
$14.95 - $59.95 from CeramiPro »

The way it usually goes with knives is that they either cost a lot or they suck. (Note: both varieties seem to be equally capable of gashing through my finger such that I require stitches and a tetanus shot.) CeramiPro's Phantom...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

While I would trust the paracord to help me in my times of need--jimmying a suspended shelter during floods or stepping in for my broken shoelace during the 3-on-3 playoffs at the YMCA--I have to admit its Vader component...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013
$61.56 - $82.26 from Amazon »

To me, the idea of smelling like a bomb of anything connotes an unpleasantly strong and cloying odor, and when I think of a bomb of spices all that comes to mind are the scents that permeate my clothes, my hair, my skin, my...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013
$27.15 - $31.57 from Amazon »

They're terming Brook & Hunter's axe of a thousand ways to destroy and maim a "garden tool". Yeah, for all the "weeding" I have to do when gangs of Girl Scouts jump me in the grocery store parking lot because I dissed Do-si-dos....

Friday, June 22, 2012

Jolly Rogers, Hearts that say "Mom", Tweety Birds, sure they're gumball machine classics when it comes to temporary tattoos, but what about getting tatted out for 2 to 3 days in a design that expresses true individuality and...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$18 - $45 from Society 6 »

You're going to have to buy a print, T-shirt, hoodie, or tote bag of The Periodic Table of the Muppets if you want to see the details of this comprehensive compilation of Jim Henson's finest because the Internet is showing...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
By: Generate

First and foremost, designer Sotirios Papadopoulos' Full Moon Cabinet ships with an accompanying CD of music custom-compiled to reflect its aura. Never mind that the lunar credenza is also coated with Eco Light Inside, a material...

Thursday, October 24, 2013
$16.99 from Amazon »

Well let's just take the modicum of elbow grease required to enjoy an ass fattener alongside a campfire out of the s'mores creation equation entirely. Now I don't even have to engage my upper body muscles supporting and rotating...

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$30.78 from Amazon »

If I tried to plant carrot and radish and whatever that third thing is seeds in some dirt behind a transparent sheet of acrylic probably what I would end up with is a pile of dirt behind a transparent sheet of acrylic. But...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012
$24.99 from ToyVault »

When it's cold on the slopes, the only thing better than wearing a toasty warm ski mask is wearing a toasty warm ski mask whose Lovecraftian green tentacles scare the ever loving shit out of fellow downhillers. The Cthulhu...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
$8.99 - $36 from Get Up and Go »

Get Up and Go baked goods advertise their delivery of caffeine without the coffee. Having consumed several...in the past 11 minutes...I would advertise that, even better, they jack up my motivation and focus without the puckered...

Friday, March 23, 2012
$399.99 from Marshall Fridge »

The Marshall amp replica refrigerator, signed by Jim Marshall, emblazoned with authentic Marshall logos, and fitted with a real Marshall facing has a paradoxically acoustic effect: it makes your brews and carbonated shots...

Thursday, November 29, 2012
$199 from Amazon »

Shoot first, focus later. So goes the mantra to the Lytro Light Field Camera, the photography world's first "living pictures" point-and-shooter that allows users to tweak both the focus and the perspective of photos after...

Friday, September 2, 2011
$11.02 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect them...

Thursday, August 11, 2011
$17.99 from Lootiful.com »

This is pretty badass and very well made. The iPWN! Case for iPhone 4 fits AT&T models perfectly and you'll surely be the only person you know that has one... unless you know a bunch of other geeks....

Saturday, July 27, 2013
$1,998 from Amazon »

If I were to stumble upon, say, a honey badger battling a cobra, or a monkey washing a cat, I wonder how close I would be able to sneak before disrupting the event and getting myself killed. Probably not close enough to satisfy...

Sunday, July 15, 2012
Discontinued

San Diego Comic-Con may be winding down, but the San Romero zombie apocalypse is just amping up. And if you're going to splice off heads and bifurcate torsos chainsaw-wielding-Juliet style when it gets here, you're gonna need...

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Nothing gives me more satisfaction than finding new and exciting ways of flipping people off. First, an umbrella, and now, a housekey. The Middle Finger key--or as vendor Goodworth & Co. calls it, the "Best Wishes" key--is...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
Discontinued

Though probably the type of installation that has to be seen in person for true appreciation, the photos are still pretty darn phenomenal. I feel like you could stare at this marvel of intricacy for an hour every day and find...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$8.49 from Amazon »

What if Darth Vader had been a good dad? Or even had just announced his paternity to Luke sometime before he got into that imminent death predicament? Darth Vader and Son not only speculates on this topic, but does so with...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Suck it, chocolate bunnies! This Easter all the cool kiddies want chocolate craniums cast from real human skulls! OK, so how many comments of outrage am I going to get when I point out that partaking in a piece of dark chocolate...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$8.06 from Amazon »

Penis pasta, penis pasta, penis pasta! Cornelius just made me say it 3 times fast. I found that it wasn't very difficult, but he found it very funny because everyone in the Apple store looked at me like I'm the type of person...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

Who wants a pork chop, a salmon fillet, a bloody mary, or a piece of chocolate cake that tastes like it's spent hours slowly absorbing the apple wood of a smoker? In seconds, and without heat, the Smoking Gun portable food...