A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, December 29, 2011
$71.79 from Amazon »

Time to go through your closet and dig out all of those classic super nintendo games. You knew there was a reason not to give those to charity. Told you mom! The Supaboy Pocket SNES is essentially a gameboy for your old super...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
$99.95 from Montie Gear »

We're filing the Y-Fork Slingshot under the "Weapons" category because it is built to launch ammo up to a 1/2" ball bearing or .44 caliber lead ball. Both of which could take out a fat rabbit. Mmmm, Hasenpfeffer for Easter...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$34 from Epic »

I know what you're thinking: that is a slab of jerky with the inexplicable addition of dried fruit and a fancy wrapper. And I say, yeah, OK. That's one way to look at Epic grass-fed meat bars. But having tried the Bison Bacon & Cranberry flavor myself--when I was in New Orleans this nice young lady noticed me staring at hers, and gave me a bite in exchange for my word that I would go away and stop...

Saturday, January 26, 2013
$19.75 - $23.75 from Technology Will Save Us »

How curious it is that some people like to spend hours doing themselves what I could accomplish in a 20-minute, $20 trip to Target. DIY speakers? A DIY synth? No, no, here's the best: DIY LED greeting cards. You know, the...

Saturday, October 5, 2013
$40 from Haptic Lab »

Hey you guuuuuyyyysss! It's like a pirate ship that sails through the sea above. All I need now is an eye patch, a sloth mask, pinchers of peril, and an inhaler and I could be some sort of deconstructed Goonie for Halloween....

Monday, September 30, 2013
$4,150 from Bruce Mahalski »

Ladies, who wants to bone a guitar god? Come on now, don't start a stampede. There are plenty of sheep femurs and possum skulls to go around, and room enough on my acoustic slim body for at least a couple hundred of you to take a turn. Just grab a handful and some Elmer's and follow me to my boning lair....

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$94.99 from Amazon »

Some people believe that a blaring alarm shattering the silence of our slumber and tearing our eyes open in the still-blackness of a winter morning isn't so good for the body. Philips, makers of the Wake-Up Light and alarm...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$48 from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Discontinued

Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$53 from Burger »

Color-in Wallpaper is kind of like I See You Wallpaper, but without the watchful eyes looming over your every move, passing judgment as you eat Hungry Man Dinners, and rolling into the backs of the heads you drew for them...

Monday, August 27, 2012
$7.96 from Amazon »

Well I for one would much rather open up a sardine can to find a Zombie Apocalypse survival kit containing 25 items for use in fending solo in the face of the end of days than a malodorous row of actual sardines. This sardine...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

You know the opening scene in Spaceballs when they pan along that massive ship and you kind of start to wonder when a bomb or Jaws is gonna hit, but then the camera jumps to Rick Moranis in an oversized Darth Vader costume...

Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Like Lolo Jones and Hope Solo, the Steampunk Combat Tesla Armor's specs and stats are almost as impressive as its cut curves and transfixing beauty. Designer Jordan Edmondson hand-manipulated copper, leather, and brass into...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.73 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$39.95 from Amazon »

Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the month...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The LEGO Swiss Army Knife! It's not for sale yet, but if you like it, vote the Technic-Bionicle creation into official company review over at LEGO CUUSOO (the strangest and most cumbersome name for a Website I think I've ever...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on the creation...

Monday, November 11, 2013
$33.99 from Amazon »

This Password Vault seems like a decent gift for people who, like me, follow the universal password rules of choosing a different protective code of at least 8 characters, half of which are symbols or caps, for every one of...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$27.28 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not yet...

Saturday, March 29, 2014
$65 - $120 from Pepperpins »

There's a dude named Tom in Oregon. When he's not teaching band to 4th and 5th graders, the dude is turning bowling pins into salt and pepper grinders. Look at that. They're an inventive, yet almost natural and called-for...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$38 - $44 from Amazon »

Here are some giant squishy beasts--Squishables, officially--fashioned after the likes of the Narwhal, T-Rex, Yeti, Cthulhu, Polar Bear, and Android mascot. I know you don't want one. But look: they appear to make ladies happy....

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$60 - $70 from Dropcatch »

The DropCatch magnetic bottle opener pretty much looks like an entire summer's worth of entertainment to me. I might just buy a bunch of shit beer from Oregon that I'd never consider drinking and employ the mounted walnut...

Saturday, May 12, 2012
$495 from Armstreet »

When I meet a lady, the first thing I ask myself is, "Could this lady best me in a feat of strength? Or, if she's really special, "Could this lady jump me in a dark alley and kick my ass to next Tuesday?" And when I meet a...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$59 from Nap Anywhere »

Oh boy, and I think the NapAnywhere pillow looks just enough like a neck brace that I can convince suspicious parties I need it for medical reasons. Let me tell you some things I do not enjoy that will maybe become bearable...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packing right here. I've got four-eleven positrack out back. Seven-fifty double pumper. Edelbrock intake, bored over thirty, eleven to one pop up pistons. Turbo jet, three ninety horse power....

Thursday, January 24, 2013
$8 from Ruffbowl »

Before delving into RuffBowl specifics, I will share some fun facts about the French. Parisians love their dogs. The ratio of dogs to people in that city is 1:7. But they don't love cleaning up after their dogs. In fact, the...

Sunday, September 11, 2011
$23.95 from Amazon »

You gotta cut up those old credit cards anyway right? Or what? Your identity will surely be stolen and you'll lose your girlfriend and probably be shunned. Instead, make cool guitar picks and avoid shunning with this genius...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Discontinued

If you have $75 and the desire to slice 10" of carbon fiber through the air, Tyler Seamons has an official flying saucer of summertime for you. Pending successful project funding on Kickstarter, his frisbee and golf-style...

Saturday, August 3, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I'd imagine a concern for all parents, but particularly male parents, is having a baby and then accidentally dropping it. Or tucking it snoozing in its carrier under the table at the bar so it will be out of the way, and then...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wedding cakes have been topped with zombies. Video game junkies. Your own face. But have you ever seen one topped with an infinite web of sugar spun in 3 out of 3 dimensions? The Sugar Lab will custom make 3D printed sugar...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$912 from The Macallan »

Nothing warms my heart more than the marriage of two renowned brands well out of my price range. Here, The Macallan Scotch and rugged apparel and accessories magnate Oakley have collaborated on a tactical, indestructible way...

Monday, June 3, 2013
$4.99 - $10.50 from Amazon »

The Amazon reviews of Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay--nearly 800 of them!--are so overwhelmingly positive it makes me wonder how I've never before heard of these miraculous bentonite particulates of the earth. Maybe I was...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
$69 from Wisteria »

Your kids haven't quite turned out how you expected to be. With aspirations of raising NFL quarterbacks and Rhodes Scholars quickly fading, you'd just like to avoid having a felon living underneath your roof. And while you...

Sunday, June 30, 2013
$59.95 from myType »

I'll tell you one thing I like is buttons. This touch screen crapola, even when it's all cool and laser virtual keyboard-y and keychain-sized, is unacceptable to my manly and powerful hands. They just do not like typing on...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Master of the Grill, do you have what it takes to be Master of the Grill, Griddle, Deep Fryer and Warming Plate? The Blacktop 360-Degree Party Grill combines all four methods of heat conduction into one massive, all-inclusive...

Sunday, November 4, 2012
$32.49 - $149.99 from Amazon »

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor....

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$330 from Etsy »

Yoda pipe? Yes, I'll take one. I will also take one six-piece Chicken McNugget, a dozen Doritos Locos tacos, a deep dish pepperoni pizza with extra sauce, and three large Oreo Mint Blizzards. Thank you, and Happy 4/20....

Monday, June 10, 2013
$79.95 from WickedLasers.com »

For the times you'd rather use the World's Most Powerful Laser to shed light on a situation instead of to incinerate its components, Wicked Lasers' Phosforce flashlight adapter for their Arctic 1W handheld laser pointer will...

Saturday, June 8, 2013
$17.85 from Amazon »

Gators and ostrich and bears, oh my...dayum! Giving bacon gift boxes and Broquets a possible run for their money this Father's Day: Buffalo Bob's Wild Game Jerky. The sampler pack....

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$12 from Amazon »

"Fool" is such a grand addition to the English language. Mr. T knew what was up. Apparently, bib-wearing babies do too. I knew they were smarter than they look. I bet in actuality they're like a tribe of wee geniuses hiding...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013
$20 from black + blum »

Not only is a polar bear ice cube tray adorable and perfect for assuaging the injuries of children who hurt themselves doing something stupid that you told them not to, but the design itself is also highly utilitarian, solving...

Saturday, September 7, 2013

It's the double helix of your literary life. And remember, there's a 50/50 chance its contents will get passed down to your kids, so maybe try filling it with something other than comic books, porn, and smooth jazz, 'ey?...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013
$14.99 from NYC Taxi Calendar »

See, ladies, why waste time exacting revenge upon your ex-boyfriend when you could be spending it pursuing one of these hot transportation professionals as your new boyfriend? The 2014 NYC Taxi Drivers Beefcake Calendar is...

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$12 - $85 from Shapeways »

I've never cared much for the word "Claddagh." It sounds like a combination of too many different scary female body parts and sexually transmitted diseases. But the rings themselves are alright if you're into, like, announcing...

Monday, May 28, 2012
$5.21 - $6.50 from Amazon »

Panama Jack left the neon zinc oxide sunscreen game too early. Now that fluorescent orange, yellow, and pink are back--in a full-on, legitimate, non-humorous, non-ironic sort of way no less--I have to give a shout out to the...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques;...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$2,299.99 from Entertainment Earth »

My life-size Iron Man statue needs a buddy. Or a nemesis so I can choreograph elaborate sparring bouts for the two of them in my head. Or how about Tony Stark can be my super-ego and this 6' tall stormtrooper my id, and together...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012
$45 from Etsy »

The months leading up to Resident Evil 6's anticipated November 2012 release should be filled with wishful speculation, ripples of spoilers, and inexplicable urges to quell the suspense by amassing random bits of RE merch....

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$18 from indiegogo »

Rebel knows you could stuff your smartphone in a waterproof pouch and enjoy its muffled sounds in the shower or by the pool. Or risk hooking it up to a speaker in the kitchen and sloshing suds and bloody chicken juice on it....

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$199.95 from Amazon »

Breville says it will do for pizza lovers what cooking meth does for ailing chemistry teachers: bring home the dough. The Crispy Crust Stone Baked Pizza Maker aims to deliver brick oven pie quality without the bricks. Probably...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$24.95 - $29.95 from PocketStrings »

We need way more products like PocketStrings. Products that allow people to do things that would normally disturb me without disturbing me. The Baby Muzzle was a good start. Now this portable, silent guitar practice tool....

Monday, September 2, 2013
$32 from Best Made »

This is a nice cup. It's sturdy--steel coated with enamel, double-thick on the handle and rim to defray those areas' proportionately high use and abuse. Also it has "Steadfast" and "Best Made" stamped in large letters all...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
$1,388.66 from Shapeways »

This is what my head feels like this morning. I thought it would be appropriate for the day after New Year's Eve (aka New Year's Day) in case yours does too. Misery loves company. Company now comes in the form of a Nuke Lamp....

Monday, September 12, 2011
$8.65 million from 9010 Hopen »

Who would guess that what looks like a noninvasive skin rejuvenation clinic from the street opens into a panorama of contemporary cool with walnut floors, sultry lighting, and drop dead (literally, if you're not careful) views...

Thursday, September 13, 2012
$64 from hi-Fun »

Gloves with finger pads for smartphone touch screens have officially been around long enough for this hi-Call glove handset to debut and just annihilate them on the awesome meter. Powered by Bluetooth, the left glove of the...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$6.95 - $15.95 from Amazon »

Bizarro fiction author Cameron Pierce has won awards for his fantastical, trippy, borderline psychotic tales of what life could be like if we all made better use of our imaginations, and consumed many, many tabs of acid. His...

Thursday, October 25, 2012
$19.99 from Amazon »

How the heckfire did Seth Casteel even come up with this idea of photographing dogs fetching balls and sticks and other lures of underwater canine submersion? Its hilarity--with one wrench of pure horror in the form of a snarling...

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$59 from SpitJack »

Isn't there a Meat Is Torture bumper sticker out there? I think the SpitJack Magnum Meat Injector Gun is about to inspire its antagonist: Torture Your Meat. This thing looks ominous. Like a kitchen tool I want emphatically...

Friday, November 9, 2012
$24.95 from Amazon »

My girlfriend says there's a laser treatment for your face that feels like you're repeatedly getting shot with a fully-extended rubber band. Which sounds terrible to me, and not really that much fun for either the recipient...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$59.98 from Amazon »

Here's a blast from Halloween past. And not just OG, circa 1978 Michael Meyers, OG 2.0, circa 1998 Michael Meyers too. Remember when they released the Halloween H20 remake to celebrate the series' 20th anniversary? And Jamie...

Thursday, January 2, 2014
$19.49 from Amazon »

"I LOVE this. I was worried this would look tacky or cheap, but it really is awesome looking. Pleasantly surprised. Goes great with other wolf bathroom accessories I have." Thank you, Amazon reviewer Adelaide. Your assessment...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$27 - $100 from Havoc Boards »

Havoc Boards. Fifteen custom-designed maps of cities, countries, and regions either printed on professional grade gaming board or engraved in solid wood, and primed for your Mark "The Undertaker" Calaway-style total domination....

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$275 from Soundlazer »

The Soundlazer is a parametric speaker that harnesses the power of ultrasonic sound. Sounds cool, huh? But, uh, what's a parametric speaker, and how about a refresher on ultrasonic sound? If you're feeling how I felt when...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$18.11 from Amazon »

Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality is...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$49.63 from Amazon »

The Swissmar girouette says it was devised to shave and curl Tete de Moine, a fancy cheese from Switzerland that probably costs $100 pound, but you can also use it to make byooteeful ribbons of chocolate, or on any old cheese...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$19.98 from Amazon »

Dish Soap + Cast Iron Cookware = Very Bad Cleaning Method. But evidently, Chainmail + Cast Iron Cookware = World's Best Pot and Pan Scrubber. The CM Scrubber looks like a cross between a potholder and the second ugliest shoes...