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Watersports

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Thursday, January 23, 2014
By: Behance

Diving free of cumbersome tanks and lines, and with an unlimited underwater air supply? That's like...like...making love out of nothing at all. Unfathomable! And although human gills are indeed a ways away from sporting goods...

Sunday, July 20, 2014
$49k from Strand Craft »

Strand Craft knows the best thing to do after you get hot is...get wet. So for the hot rod enthusiasts ready to take it to the next level, plus everyone else looking to showboat their wealth with a cushy, seafaring 2-seater...

Tuesday, February 4, 2014
$54 from Tribord »

It's not a set of human gills, but at least Tribord's Easybreath snorkeling mask doesn't require technology that hasn't come forth from hypothetical existence yet to work. This will make it somewhat easier for two-legged wannabe fish to get their hands on...and heads in one. While the Easybreath mask carries the same depth restrictions as standard snorkels, it removes some of the difficulty and...

Monday, July 21, 2014
$206.90 from Amazon »

What would be really great is if they could add a foot rest and a reclining seat to this Cumberland inflatable fishing float tube. That way at least I could take a nap while I'm waiting all day long to not get so much as a...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Ahhh. It's a see-through canoe/kayak that seats two and provides the perfect setting for a romantic, yet adventurous date of paddling the high seas and taking in all of its technicolored fishies, regally swaying anemones...

Friday, July 11, 2014
$392.81 from Amazon »

Why hello, miss. That's a real nice pink bunny rabbit tattoo you've got there on your L4 and L5 vertebrae. How's about you, me, and the Energizer mascot go take a dip in the water and a roll in the ha...mster wheel?...

Tuesday, June 17, 2014
$45k - $545k from CultureNordic »

Have you always dreamt of owning your own authentic Viking ship, built by craftsmen in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde? Well I hadn't really given it much thought before, purveyor of fine Scandinavian gifts CultureNordic...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013
By: Aquaclimb

Does AquaClimb's addition of a swimming pool to the bottom of a rock climbing wall make the activity less or more likely to score me a ride in an ambulance? Less because when I inevitably fall--repeatedly--I will hit a liquid...

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$8,050 - $10,350 from Waterwolf »

Surfing without the waves. Stand up paddle boarding without the work. Water skiing without the boat. Waterwolf's MXP 3 is an electric surfboard designed to torch through the lazy waters of lakes, bays, bayous, deltas, and...

Thursday, March 22, 2012
$90k from Seabreacher »

Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to 50 and...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012
By: Raonhaje

What up, Jaws? You ready for a little face time with me and my impenetrable acrylic underwater sightseeing window? Korean company Raonhaje's EGO, a compact semi-submarine/motorboat hybrid, has flipped its room with a view...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$699 from Amazon »

The 6' x 18' WaterMat is bigger than most rafts, more portable than most rafts, and won't suck so much air from your lungs during assembly that you start to feel lightheaded and then pass out and then fall off the side of...

Thursday, March 15, 2012
$490 - $895 from Subwing »

You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip at the...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
$2,250 from PowerDive »

Many of us dig communing with corals and fishes and hot merpeople lookin' for a good time 40 feet beneath the ocean's surface, but suited up SCUBA-style in bulky BC vests and heavy oxygen tanks sort of encumbers the experience....

Friday, October 5, 2012
$14,900 from Hot Tug »

Why thank you, Dutch peoples. I think I would like a wood-fired hot tub in which I can sail, and a tugboat in which I can enjoy warm baths. HotTug is a wood-hulled boat fitted with fiberglass reinforced polyester and a stainless...

Friday, October 19, 2012

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...

Thursday, August 1, 2013
$399.99 from NOCQUA »

I bet slumbering sea life are gonna love getting a shot of over 1,000 lumens of light in the eye post nightfall. Seriously. It will help the ones who need to get up and take a leak find the bathroom. As for the rest, eh, fish...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
$79.99 from Amazon »

I don't see anything octo about the design and configuration of this Octomask with a built-in GoPro camera mount. Except maybe that 8 seconds is the amount of time I spent looking at it for clues before I got bored and then...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$24.95 from DarkfinGloves.com »

Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing and even jumping...

Monday, February 25, 2013
By: FlyBoard

Similar to the Jetovater, but with a lower profile, the Flyboard is a kind of powered wakeboard that allows propulsion under water and in the air, rendering its user akin to a dolphin, human cannonball, or Grand Prize winner...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$4,500 from Ebay »

Maker International VentureCraft Corp. describes the One-Person SportSub Solo as a "yacht toy." That can't be a good sign of its retail price. Another bad omen: their Website lists no costs for the submarines themselves, but...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011
$500 from Opulent Items »

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$6.11 from Amazon »

Oh hello Cthulhu. I almost didn't see you there before I turned on my flashlight. Well, technically LED underwater torch. TOMTOP made it 100% waterproof and effective at illuminating up to 25 meters of ocean pathway. It weighs...

Saturday, June 1, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The robotic fish provide ambient light in a pool while swimming autonomously. They look cool. I'd prefer it if they don't touch me with their exotically-hued lionfishy spikes though. It's like when I'm at a bar and some strange...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012
$84.95 from TAT7 »

The iPhone SCUBA Case: Impenetrable like your psyche, yet accessible like your heart. TAT7 has developed this bruiser of an outer shell to protect iPhone 4/4S models to a dive depth of 100 feet, while allowing user access...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$2,500 from WaveJet »

"Aquamotive Technology" and "Personal Water Propulsion" devices are what WaveJet water pods term themselves. I think that's a fancy way to say "Go-Go-Gadget surfboard". Rechargeable and controlled wirelessly with a wristband...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$1,095 from Oru Kayak »

The San Francisco Bay Area: Big waters, small living spaces, crowded streets, zero parking. Because Anton Willis loves to kayak, and because he isn't a whiner who sits around complaining about problems instead of doing something...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

Could we get these Mermaid Swim Fins in a color other than powder pink, please? Because I would maybe like to wear one. Also, could we get some females over the age of 18 to model them, please? Because I would maybe like to...

Thursday, April 19, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Sink or swim...or get a machine to do the dirty work. The BladeFish SeaJet is a battery-operated underwater scooter for zippin' around with the fishies during SCUBA and snorkeling adventures. "Scooter", rather than "jet"...

Friday, June 28, 2013
$599.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

Supposedly the Body Launching Inflatable has to attach to this Floating Jungle Gym for it to launch bodies into the air, but I think if I pay that many hundreds of dollars for it, I better be able to tie the thing to my lawn...

Sunday, June 3, 2012

A floating rope swing. This seems like the type of toy that forever marks someone as the Rich Kid. When I was little, the Rich Kids had TVs with remote controls and bathrooms they didn't have to share with anyone else. Maybe...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I've seen people standing on these paddling half way across the damn ocean, flirting with whales and Loche Ness monsters and shit. They're hand crafted, measure 11 feet 3 inches, feature simple, timeless designs, and come...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Discontinued

Finally, an affordable 14 foot inflatable climbing iceberg. It was only a matter of time before economies of scale took over and they were able to mass product climbing icebergs for such a bargain price. Hey, find 60 of your...

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