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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/see-through-bottom-canoe-3101.jpg "See Through Bottom Canoe")
The See Through Bottom Canoe seats two, and provides the perfect setting for a romantic, yet adventurous, date of paddling the high seas, and taking in all of its technicolored fishies, regally swaying anemones, and hammerhead...
/swimming-pool-fish-bots-8031.jpg "Swimming Pool Fish Bots")
The robotic fish provide ambient light in a pool while swimming autonomously. They look cool. I'd prefer it if they don't touch me with their exotically-hued lionfishy spikes though. It's like when I'm at a bar and some strange...
/the-watermat-7678.jpg "The WaterMat")
The 6' x 18' WaterMat is bigger than most rafts, more portable than most rafts, and won't suck so much air from your lungs during assembly that you start to feel lightheaded and then pass out and then fall off the side of the boat and then drown, thereby ruining everyone's plan to have a fun day on the water....
/aquaclimb-poolside-water-walls-6810.jpg "AquaClimb Poolside Water Walls")
Does AquaClimb's addition of a swimming pool to the bottom of a rock climbing wall make the activity less or more likely to score me a ride in an ambulance? Less because when I inevitably fall--repeatedly--I will hit a liquid...
/mermaid-swim-fin-8152.jpg "Mermaid Swim Fin")
Could we get these Mermaid Swim Fins in a color other than powder pink, please? Because I would maybe like to wear one. Also, could we get some females over the age of 18 to model them, please? Because I would maybe like to...
/subwing-underwater-hang-3068.jpg "Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider")
You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip at the other to whisk and thrash body, soul, and digestive tract through the subsurface jungle....
/flyboard-6888.jpg "Flyboard")
Similar to the Jetovater, but with a lower profile, the Flyboard is a kind of powered wakeboard that allows propulsion under water and in the air, rendering its user akin to a dolphin, human cannonball, or Grand Prize winner...
/seabreacher-shark-x-submarine-3145.jpg "Seabreacher Shark X Water Jet")
Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to 50 and...
/ego-personal-semisubmarine-4481.jpg "Ego Personal Semi-Submarine")
What up, Jaws? You ready for a little face time with me and my impenetrable acrylic underwater sightseeing window? Korean company Raonhaje's EGO, a compact semi-submarine/motorboat hybrid, has flipped its room with a view...
/snorkel-hookah-4465.jpg "Snorkel Hookah")
Many of us dig communing with corals and fishes and hot merpeople lookin' for a good time 40 feet beneath the ocean's surface, but suited up SCUBA-style in bulky BC vests and heavy oxygen tanks sort of encumbers the experience....
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/quadski-amphibious-atv-5378.jpg "Quadski - Amphibious ATV")
A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...
/the-hot-tub-boat-6460.jpg "The Hot Tub Boat")
While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...
/Inflatable-Water-Ball-10.jpg?mode=crop "Inflatable Water Ball")
Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...
/hot-tug-hot-tub-tug-boat-5199.jpg "HotTug - Hot Tub Tug Boat")
Why thank you, Dutch peoples. I think I would like a wood-fired hot tub in which I can sail, and a tugboat in which I can enjoy warm baths. HotTug is a wood-hulled boat fitted with fiberglass reinforced polyester and a stainless...
/Darkfin-Gloves-109.jpg?mode=crop "Darkfin Gloves")
Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing and even jumping...
/iphone-scuba-case-with-and-3274.jpg "iPhone SCUBA Case")
The iPhone SCUBA Case: Impenetrable like your psyche, yet accessible like your heart. TAT7 has developed this bruiser of an outer shell to protect iPhone 4/4S models to a dive depth of 100 feet, while allowing user access...
/sportsub-solo-submarine-4928.jpg "One-Man Submarine")
Maker International VentureCraft Corp. describes the One-Person SportSub Solo as a "yacht toy." That can't be a good sign of its retail price. Another bad omen: their Website lists no costs for the submarines themselves, but...
/origami-kayak-5727.jpg "Origami Kayak")
The San Francisco Bay Area: Big waters, small living spaces, crowded streets, zero parking. Because Anton Willis loves to kayak, and because he isn't a whiner who sits around complaining about problems instead of doing something...
/jetovator-waterpropelled-4000.jpg "Jetovator Water-Propelled Stunt Bike")
I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...
/wavejet-motorized-shortboard-3366.jpg "WaveJet Motorized Surfboard")
"Aquamotive Technology" and "Personal Water Propulsion" devices are what WaveJet water pods term themselves. I think that's a fancy way to say "Go-Go-Gadget surfboard". Rechargeable and controlled wirelessly with a wristband...
/bladefish-personal-waterjet-3439.jpg "Bladefish Personal Waterjet")
Sink or swim...or get a machine to do the dirty work. The BladeFish SeaJet is a battery-operated underwater scooter for zippin' around with the fishies during SCUBA and snorkeling adventures. "Scooter", rather than "jet"...
/floating-rope-swing-3873.jpg "Floating Rope Swing")
A floating rope swing. This seems like the type of toy that forever marks someone as the Rich Kid. When I was little, the Rich Kids had TVs with remote controls and bathrooms they didn't have to share with anyone else. Maybe...
/YOSEMITE-PADDLE-BOARDS-55.jpg?mode=crop "Yosemite Paddle Boards")
I've seen people standing on these paddling half way across the damn ocean, flirting with whales and Loche Ness monsters and shit. They're hand crafted, measure 11 feet 3 inches, feature simple, timeless designs, and come...
/Gigantic-Inflatable-Climbing-Iceberg-342.jpg?mode=crop "Gigantic Inflatable Climbing Iceberg")
Finally, an affordable 14 foot inflatable climbing iceberg. It was only a matter of time before economies of scale took over and they were able to mass product climbing icebergs for such a bargain price. Hey, find 60 of your...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
