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SOS Parachute - High-Rise Building Escape System

By: on December 22, 2013

Panamanian inventor Morris Shahbazi once bragged to disbelieving ears that his SOS Parachute, an emergency evacuation system for people in high-rise office buildings, hotels, and residences, could open in 100 feet, or 1.5 seconds. Conventional parachutes typically require around 200 feet. In April and May of 2013, Shahbazi successfully tested his claims. 13 times. Himself. He's the dude wearing the GoPro in the photos above.

Shahbazi still brags about the SOS Parachute system. But the ears who hear his words now give them a little more weight.

Shahbazi envisioned and began work on his SOS high-rise evacuation project as a result of 9/11. Twelve years later, he and his team of engineers perfected an escape parachute for anyone needing instant and reliable emergency exit from a building with 11 stories or more. Emphasis on the word emergency. Like a fire or an attack, not a broken elevator or the risk of encountering that HR girl with the gargantuan thighs you might have accidentally made out with after the office karaoke party. For emergencies, the SOS Parachute has been tested and approved by the TSO Federal Aviation Administration, the US' quality control board for things that plummet through the air. It is now available for consumer purchase.

But at what cost I'm not entirely sure. I mean besides possible death. SOS Parachute's Website has an online purchase form, and specifies that all payments must be made by bank transfer, but parachute pricing remains unlisted. I even started the buying process in an attempt to acquire this information for you. I filled out my height, weight, waist, and chest measurements--each pack is tailor-made--as well as fake answers to all personal info requests. But then instead of a price quote, I received a message that SOS Parachute would email me with associated costs and steps on how next to proceed. So, uh, when corneliuseatsboogers@gmail.com gets all that stuff, could you please forward it to me?

All individuals who purchase an SOS Parachute will also receive training on how to use it, either at the company's customer care center or in their own home. System specs include:

  • Direct bag static-line or manual operation.
  • Average opening time of 1.5 seconds
  • Maneuvering (limited) with L & R handles and simple rotation.
  • Available in custom sizes, according to user weight--from 90 to 340 pounds.
  • Made in the USA. Uh oh.